Broken Souls (2 page)

Ashley
looked up to meet Ben's stare. She took in his genuine enthusiasm with a rush of relief. Usually, most people found her annoying and childish when she came to the zoo, yet with Ben, things just seemed different. He was
really
trying and she liked that.

“
There she is!” Ashley’s pitch increased drastically as the gorilla enclosure came into view. “Zaire is the oldest gorilla at the zoo. She has been here since, like, 1984. My child minder used to bring me here all the time after school. I'd practically beg her each week to bring me here to see Zaire. Especially after everything that happened, she sort of became even more special to me. It was kind of like she was my lifeline growing up
—
” The words left her lips before she recognised what she was saying. Worry etched across her face at the stupidity of her mistake.

She had revealed too much to
him, and now she felt like a complete idiot. There was no doubt that his questions were sure to follow now that she had slipped up and revealed such a significant part of her life. It was stupid of her, but she could only put it down to the excitement she was feeling.

Ben
squeezed her arm. “Don't be embarrassed. I like that you’re so down to earth with me. I've noticed a newer version of you coming out over the last few weeks when I've heard you talking with people at work.”
He paused for a few seconds, turned towards Ashley and then carried on. “I also noticed that you’ve been ignoring me when we’re around others. I saw it at Caramel the other night after work. You barely came near me...”

Ashley laughed nervously, grateful that her previous comments had
flown under the radar with him. She would have to be more careful. Those memories were better left in the past. She had compartmentalised and stored them in a place so deep within her mind with the hopes that they would never surface again.

They
weren’t memories that she just discussed with anybody, which was why Ashley was now feeling quite uneasy about her own slipup. Was she perhaps starting to get comfortable around Ben now?

“
Oh, so you think it's funny to ignore me?” Ben smirked, nudging her arm playfully to break the silence between them.

“
No,” she smiled, attempting to lighten her own suddenly sullen mood. “But in all seriousness, I promise you that I don't do it intentionally. We work in a dental surgery, so of course we will flit past each other every now and again. But in the main, you are always so busy seeing your patients. And then at the restaurant, there were so many of us there that it was easy to get caught up in conversation.” This was a slight lie. Truthfully, she didn’t want to reveal how apprehensive she was at revealing their dating status amongst their work colleagues.

“
I'm messing with you,” he joked. “But, it is something that I want to perhaps discuss. I mean, when we are out, I want to be able to put my arms around you and steal kisses from your sweet lips. I want you and me to become exclusive. Let’s take that leap together and make it official. What do you think?”

She noticed how alive his eyes had become as they danced nervously with hope. He had asked her to take the next step, which she was excited but terrified about. For a start, she continued to ask herself whether it was something that she actually wanted. Her feelings were really muddled at the moment.
She knew that she needed time to fathom it out as opposed to giving him a spur of the moment decision that she could later come to regret.

“
Wow,” she breathed, unsure of what to say. Her heart was suddenly pounding in her chest, the forceful beats resonating loudly in her ears. She didn’t like to be put on the spot like this. “I'm not sure that Melissa would be too happy about it,” Ashley said, arching an eyebrow slightly and trying to change the subject. “Do you think she would allow you to spend the extra time with me? I don’t think that would go down very well.”

She knew Ben's dental nurse had a jealous streak. Gabby had told her on more than a few occasions how she always
kept a close eye on him when he was with others. She couldn't handle his interest in any other woman but her. It was part of the reason she was now stalling an answer to his question.

Ben's shoulders sagged.
“I'm getting sick of Melissa at the moment, but I don't know what to do about it. I’m not sure if having her work as my dental nurse is such a good idea because of her jealousy. It might be a good idea to have a switch-up.”

“
Well, if you’re hinting...my answer is no.”

“
Oh, come on!”

“
No.”

“
Please?”

Ashley shook her head. There was no way she could be Ben's
assistant. She couldn't even imagine keeping her head straight and focusing on patients while he was hovering around her. It would be damn near impossible and she knew it. He liked to flirt... a lot. There was no way that she would be able to work alongside him.

And t
hen there was Gabby. What would happen to her best friend? Would Melissa take over as her dental nurse? The thought alone had Ashley grinning from ear to ear. She knew that Gabby would have the girl pinned to the wall with her bare hands around her throat if they were left alone for more than a few minutes.

“
What are you laughing at?”

“
Nothing, nothing,” Ashley said, shaking her head. “Ben, I'm sorry, but Gabby and I are a team. She would kill me if I ditched her to work with you.”

He nodded.
“It’s alright, I get it... There’s no harm in trying though, right?”

“
If it's any consolation, I wouldn't want to work with Melissa either,” she said, raising her hand to stifle her erupting laugh from his amused expression.

“Back to the drawing board I guess,”
he said with a shrug. “But wait, you
still
haven’t given me an answer.” He pinched her arm jokingly before he turned to her with a pout. “Am I really that bad?” He fluttered his eyelashes, trying to work the cuteness into his features.

“Don’t be silly.” She batted
him away with her hand. “I’m just... scared I guess. It’s a big step for us to take and I want to make sure that we both know what we are doing. I mean, what will happen if this doesn’t work?”

Ben unhooked
their arms. “Ashley, look at me,” he murmured, dropping his voice just above a whisper. “I don’t want you to worry about anything but you and what
you
want.” His gaze strayed to her lips where it remained for a few seconds before raising back to her eyes. “I’ll give you some time to think, but I can’t promise I’ll be patient for long. I want us to take the next step together. I want you to officially be mine...”

Ashley managed to close the front door before Gabby’s excited screech filled the room.
“You need to tell me every last detail of how your date went. Where did he take you?”

Dropping her bag to the floor, Ashley
walked over and slumped into an armchair facing her best friend. “What did I do to deserve him?” she replied with a dreamy sigh. Her head was on cloud nine at the moment and she didn’t want to come down anytime soon.

“
So, where did you go?”

Ashley
bit her lip and smiled. “We went to the zoo.”

Gabby
straightened from her slouched position. “Shut up.”

“
He said that he had heard me talking to you about it, and that I wanted to go this weekend.”

“
He’s so clever when it comes to doing things like that... I mean,
really
, has he even put one foot wrong on any of these dates? Yes, it was a little cold for a November picnic in Hyde Park, but he still had the thought there. Then there was the comedy club, the cocktail making class, the West End show, and
now
he has taken you to the zoo! I love all of the thought that he puts into everything. He doesn’t seem afraid to open his wallet either. So, come on, when is the next one?” she asked, her eyes alight with promise.

Ashley
tried to act coy as she answered. “Well, he doesn’t want to
date
anymore. As a matter of fact, he asked me if we wanted to make it official between us.”

“
No freaking way!” Gabby immediately stood and punched the air. “I knew that this was onto a winner after the first date. I think that Ben is a really nice guy, and I’ve always known him to treat his girlfriends well. I think that he might be falling for you.”

“
Okay, stop it,” Ashley said, placing her hands against her suddenly warm cheeks. “It isn’t all flowers and rainbows just yet. I didn’t actually give him an answer.”

“Wait, why?” Gabby scrunched up her face in confusion. “What’s the deal? I thought you were excited for this?”

Rolling her head back into the cushions on the armchair, she let out an exaggerated sigh. “I’m just scared of taking the next step.”

“Why?” Gabby
folded her arms. “Explain yourself.”

“It’s just... I don’t know. It’s still really fresh, right? I haven’t gotten this far with a guy in a really long time, so I’m just apprehensive about pushing it too quickly. I want to take it slow. My feelings haven’t really formed properly yet. They are just sitting in limbo, waiting patiently for the moment that I allow myself to actually believe in them.”

“Did you tell him this?” Gabby pressed.

“
No, I sort of changed the subject,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and letting out a long groan. “I should have told him, right? Shit.”

“He would have understood. I don’t think you give him enough credit with these sorts of things. He is a r
eally good guy, Ashley. Just, trust him.”

“I’ll speak to him about it when I next see him,” she said, lifting her head from the cushions and opening her eyes. “Do you want to watch a film tonight?”

Gabby scoffed. “We are not staying in and watching another film this weekend.” She cocked her head towards the hallway. “Go and get yourself ready.”

“What?” Ashley’s voice rose suddenly with alarm. “Why do you want to go out?”

“Don’t be like this,” Gabby started to whine. “We need to go out and celebrate that you have a potential relationship on the horizon. I’m fed up of being cooped up in this flat all the time, so get your arse into that bathroom!”

“
I don't know... I'm not sure that I'm feeling it. Do I really want to put up with people whispering and pointing at me?” Ashley dropped her gaze and started playing with a loose thread on her jeans. It may be the excuse that she always used, but it was the honest truth.

It was always the same when they went out. Gabby attract
ed attention from every male within a metre radius, whereas Ashley was the awkward tag along friend that just got in the way.

Everything
always boiled down to the same thing—her birthmark.

Even cover-up make-up couldn't
really help Ashley on a night out. Unless she plastered it onto her face and neck like tarmac, there wasn't any chance of the make-up eliminating complete sight of it. Especially with all of the bodies crammed together so tightly in a club or bar, it was easy for anybody stood nearby to clearly make out the disfiguration of her skin, and she hated that fact.

“
Ashley, stop it,” Gabby snapped, clicking her fingers to draw her back into the room. “We haven't been on a night out together in such a long time. In fact, I think it must have been
at least
six months ago. You are starting to become a freaking hermit!”

“
Hey, not fair,” she argued. “I go out for drinks after work when they’re arranged. And you can’t exactly blame me for not wanting to go out on a weekend. The last time we went out, that guy caused us all those problems if you remember. It was the night you were thrown out of Boutique for punching said guy in the face for making those comments.”

The memory of that night
still burned painfully in the forefront of Ashley's mind. It had ended up being the last time she ventured out onto the club scene after the problems she had encountered with a group of drunken individuals.

“
Fuck, your face is disgusting!”

“
What the fuck happened to you?”

“
You are one ugly bitch!”

Tears welled in the corners of Ashley's eyes as she relived the moment again in her head. She recalled the way that one drunk in particular
had laid his hands on her. He had stalked over to them at the bar and caused a scene, before dragging his dirty finger across her cheek. She had tried to recoil from his touch, but the tightly packed bodies had kept her firmly in place.

“
Stop thinking about it,” Gabby groaned, slumping back into the sofa. “It was just one group of lads on a drunken night out. You have been out plenty of times before all that happened.”

Ashley pulled her knees under her chin.
“I still got shit before that, remember?  It was just that people weren't brave enough to actually come up to me and say it to my face.”

“
You can't let this rule the rest of your life, babe.”

Ashley
teased her. “I'm letting it rule my life by not going out with you? Do you not think that's a little melodramatic?”

“
I'm not talking about going out. I'm talking about your birthmark in general. You’ve had it since you were born, yet you are still letting it dominate everything. I just wish you wouldn't let it control you so much. You aren’t at home anymore, Ash.” Gabby's eyes softened as she continued to speak. “I'm just worried about you. You seem to be doing enough to exist at the moment and that's it. Have you been thinking abo—”

“
Enough!” Ashley raised her hands in surrender, she had already thought about the memory that Gabby was about to discuss today, so she needed to close down the conversation quickly. Once in a day was enough. Heck, once in a year would be enough. “I don’t want to talk about the stupid mark anymore, or whatever else you were about to say. I'll go out with you tonight, but if anything starts then I am
out
.” She cocked her thumb towards the door to emphasise her decision.

Gabby
released a high pitch squeal and launched herself towards the armchair where Ashley was sitting. “I knew you would eventually cave! It was only a matter of tim
—
”

The tablet computer lying on
top of the coffee table began to chirp loudly, cutting Gabby off mid-sentence with its rattling persistence.

“
Bugger! What time is it?” she asked, straining her neck towards the kitchen to catch sight of the digital display on the oven. “Shit!”

Ashley watched on with amusement as
Gabby scrabbled from the armchair to answer the incoming call on the tablet before it dropped. It was almost approaching six in the evening which meant that it was only one person who would be calling to speak with her. It was the same person that she always liked to speak with too.

“
Hey, big bro!” Gabby called cheerfully as the call connected and the video feed filtered through. “I almost missed your call.”

A deep chuckle rum
bled through the small speakers; the sound filtered through Ashley’s ears sending a shiver of excitement along each of her nerve endings.

“
Sorellina... Come stai?
”

Ashley uncurled herself from the armchair and gestured to Gabby that she was going to head into her room. “I’ll speak to you in a bit,” she whispered, cocking her head towards the hallway.

“Okay,” Gabby said with a smile, her eyes unmoving from the screen that she held in front of her. “Make sure you go and get ready though!”

Ashley
heard her voice echo along the hallway as she stepped into her room and slightly pushed the door closed. It wasn’t about being rude, but rather that she wanted to give her best friend some time to speak with her brother in peace. They only spoke to each other a few times a week over Skype, and she knew that the distance and not having her brother near was something that always upset Gabby.

Sitting down on
her bed, Ashley quickly flopped backwards so that she was spread out completely. She thrust her arms above her head and started to think about her date with Ben earlier today. It had been perfect, just like the other four had been, yet she couldn’t stop the niggling in her head. She knew that it was her own self-doubt that was stopping things from progressing any further, but she just couldn’t seem to look past it. Her heart needed more time to work out what was going on between them both before she could commit to him fully.

“Ashley!” Her head snapped up at the sound of Gabby hollering along the hallway. “Come here for a sec!”

Jumping off the bed, she opened her door and walked towards the living room. “What’s up?” she asked, lingering near to the doorway.

“He’s finished talking with me
and wants to speak to you now,” Gabby said with a roll of her eyes. She turned towards the tablet computer and pulled a face at her brother. “I swear you’re trying to replace me as your sister, Marco Conti. You two seem to spend more time talking to each other than we do!” She turned her gaze on Ashley as she stood. “You should just get your own Skype account instead of sitting on mine all day. Anybody would think that you two were bloody seeing each other,” Gabby grumbled, pushing the tablet into Ashley’s waiting hands before she stalked off to her room.

“O-Okay,” Ashley muttered
, following the imaginary burn of steam she could see coming up from the floor. “She does
not
seem happy.”

A deep chuckle rumbled th
rough the tiny stereo speakers. “She’ll be fine in a bit.” The English rolled from Marco's perfectly curved lips with a thick and heavy Italian accent. There was a seductive edginess to it that managed to keep her hanging off of his every word.

Ashley nodded in agreement
with him as she sat herself down on the sofa and tucked her legs under a pillow. “But anyway... Hi!” She smiled and waved at the handsome face she could see on screen, a blush slowly creeping over her cheeks, despite the amount of times they had spoken like this in the past.

“
Ciao, cara!”
he chirped, offering her a wide grin. “You had this weekend off from work, right? How have the last few days been? Gabby was moaning that the ladies you work with have been bothering you both again. Has she been boring you with it too?”

A bubble of laughter erupted from the back of her throat. “
We have been trying to just ignore it to be honest. But I swear those bitches are absolutely insane... If it wasn’t for Gabby being a partner, I’d have probably quit by now.”

She watched Marco purse his lips slightly.

“But how about you?” she asked, changing the subject. “Have you got any plans for the rest of tonight?”

She caught his sudden discomfort and the way his eyes darted away from the screen. It was unusual. Almost as if he was avoiding her question for some reason.

“Let me guess,” Ashley started, a fake smile plastered across her lips. “You’re going out with one of your many women?” She was trying to force her smile, but it was proving difficult. She could sense that she was feeling something more than the friendship they currently shared. After all, they had always got along well. They had so much in common and talked to each other with ease. But she knew what he was like at the end of the day; he was nothing but a player.

Marco raised his hand and rubbed
at the stubble on his jaw. “
Si
, I am meeting Sophia for dinner shortly.”

Ashley nodded as she tried to swallow the overwhelming feel of jealousy bubbling away in her stomach. “It sounds as if this is getting serious?”