Brothers (85 page)

While they were in Canton, Wandering Zhou watched four entire Korean miniseries. Eventually, he became irritated to discover that he could no longer find any new ones. At that point they were on the coast, staying in a second-floor room of a dilapidated old hotel. Across the street was a billboard advertising bust-enhancing cream. Rather than a pretty young woman, however, the billboard featured a muscular hunk. This hunk was wearing a red bra over enormous breasts and a red G-string below. Wandering Zhou hadn't noticed this billboard, but after he calmed down and reconciled himself to the fact that there were no more Korean series to watch, he sat downcast on the bed, and his thoughts eventually returned to the bust-enhancing cream. The charlatan took out his calculator and started furiously punching in numbers. Half an hour later he looked up with an aggrieved expression and said simply, "We're fucked!"

Song Gang already knew that they were fucked. After six months of running around they had succeeded in selling only ten vials of the
cream, during which time Wandering Zhou had become addicted to Korean melodramas the way a decadent ruler might become addicted to women. Now that there weren't any more melodramas to watch, Wandering Zhou had to face reality. He told Song Gang that if they couldn't sell all of the remaining vials within a month, they would have no alternative but to go to court. When Song Gang asked him what the point of going to court would be, Zhou tugged at his tie and, sounding like a boss of a State factory that was about to close, replied, "To apply for bankruptcy protection."

Song Gang laughed bitterly, wondering how Wandering Zhou found it in him to speak so grandly when they had fallen so low. Just as the two felt that they had reached a dead end, Zhou suddenly noticed the bust-enhancing-cream billboard across the street. He stared at the image of the magnificent hunk wearing bikini briefs and cried out in astonishment, "Bikinis!"

Song Gang also saw it, and his jaw dropped. Even in his wildest dreams he had never imagined such an advertisement. Wandering Zhou again muttered to himself, "I never imagined that men could also have a pair of plump breasts."

It was then that Wandering Zhou had his inspiration. After his eyes left the billboard, he began to stare lecherously at Song Gang. Song Gang felt very uneasy with Wandering Zhou looking at him like that and asked, "What are you thinking?"

Wandering Zhou sighed. "If only you had a pair of plump breasts, we would certainly be able to sell out our entire stock of Boobs bust-enhancing cream in no time."

Song Gang blushed to the roots. When Wandering Zhou saw Song Gang's face assume a sort of feminine bashfulness, his eyes lit up, and he enthusiastically began to lay out his plan. They would give Song Gang a boob job, and after he had an impressive pair of knockers, he would look as attractive as that hunk in the billboard. Zhou patiently explained that breast-enlargement surgery was just minor surgery and could be done in an outpatient clinic. He said, "It's as simple as hymen-recon surgery."

Song Gang gazed blankly out the window. He looked at the billboard, then the building behind it, and finally at the sky above it. His sorrow and hopelessness flew out his eyes into the distance. Then he turned around and nodded with determination, saying, "As long as it will help us earn money, I'm willing to do anything."

Wandering Zhou hadn't expected Song Gang to agree so easily. He excitedly jumped up and began pacing back and forth across the room, searching for the most effusive language with which to praise Song Gang. He announced that the money they earned would no longer be divided 20/80 but, rather, would be split evenly, 50/50. He then concluded emotionally, "When we were in Liu Town, I knew that you would be willing to take two for the team."

"This isn't for you." Song Gang shook his head. "I'm doing it for Lin Hong."

Having been entranced by Korean soap operas the entire year they spent traveling from Fujian to Canton, Wandering Zhou, when he took Song Gang to the cosmetic surgery clinic, rejected out of hand all but the Korean-style breast-enlargement surgeries. The doctor recommended three kinds: Korean no-scar breast enlargement, Korean breast enlargements with silicone implants, and Korean natural breast enlargement using the body's own fat. He explained that the no-scar surgery used a patented new Korean "
UNTOUCH
" technology, which used tiny incisions, that was guaranteed to leave no scars. After the operation, even those with whom you are most intimate wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Furthermore, after they take shape, the breasts look completely natural and realistic, feel as soft and smooth as dripping water, and follow the rhythm of your steps with a tiny natural jiggle, making you look sexy and charming. When Wandering Zhou heard this introduction, he smiled and said, "We'll take the Korean no-scar breasts."

That afternoon was the most embarrassing and uncomfortable one of Song Gang's life. He sat with his head bowed, not saying a word as Wandering Zhou made up a tearjerking story about how Song Gang had dreamed his entire life of being able to become a woman. While the doctor was speaking to Wandering Zhou, he kept looking over at Song Gang. Song Gang's face alternated between beet red and deathly pale as he listened to them discuss how to give him large breasts and how after the surgery they would remove his penis and testicles, reroute his urinary tract, and make him an artificial vagina. The doctor guaranteed that the shape and feel of the exterior of the vagina would be completely realistic. The vagina would be comfortably wide and deep, and the clitoris would be sexually sensitive. When Song Gang heard this, he felt nauseated, whereas Wandering Zhou appeared elated, nodding enthusiastically to the doctor while looking happily at
Song Gang, as if he really was going to become a woman. Finally, the doctor carefully examined Song Gang and said that he would also have to give him a nose job and a chin job and alter the shape of his cheekbones to make his face look more feminine.

Wandering Zhou made an appointment with the doctor for them to return three days later to have the breast surgery. After the two left the clinic, Wandering Zhou gazed at Song Gang delightedly and said, "If you really did become a woman, I'd marry you, and I'd love you like the male leads in Korean soaps love their women. I'd love you like life itself."

Song Gang, who usually never cursed, glared at Wandering Zhou with an ashen face and screamed, "Go fuck yourself!"

Then, one drizzly morning, Song Gang followed behind Wandering Zhou as they left their old, rundown hotel and walked out into the wet street. Zhou waved at the taxis that drove by, and Song Gang gazed out at the misty ocean. He could hear the cries of the seagulls but couldn't see them. Three hours later he was lying on the operating table as the doctor drew two purple ovals on his chest. He closed his eyes under the spotlight, and when he received the full-body anesthesia, a single seagull suddenly appeared in his mind's eye, soaring in the dense fog over the ocean, but he couldn't hear the gull's cry.

Although the doctor told Wandering Zhou that men's and women's chests have certain anatomical and physiological differences and therefore Song Gang's operation would be more complicated than a standard breast enhancement, the operation was nevertheless very successful, and within two hours it was all finished. Song Gang stayed in the hospital for observation, and when he left the next day it was still drizzling. He endured the pain of the incisions under his armpits as he and Wandering Zhou took a taxi back to the little hotel by the ocean. When he got out of the taxi, as Zhou was paying the driver, Song Gang once again gazed spellbound at the misty ocean, but nothing was there—neither gull cries nor the gulls themselves.

Song Gang spent six days recuperating in the hotel, during which time it drizzled continuously. The bra-wearing hunk on the billboard flickered in and out of view in the rain. Every time Song Gang saw the image he felt a rush of shame, as if the man in the billboard were himself. Wandering Zhou meticulously looked after Song Gang. Every day he would conscientiously ask what kind of food he wanted to eat, then would go out to several nearby restaurants, copy out their menus, and
take them back to Song Gang, telling him to order whatever he wanted. Song Gang would always select only the cheapest dishes. Wandering Zhou would then call the restaurant on the phone and ask them to deliver to the hotel room. On the phone, Wandering Zhou would always roar vigorously, "Our Boss Song is tired of eating abalone and shark fin, so please send us some tofu and vegetables."

Song Gang thus became Boss Song, a Boss Song with a pair of women's breasts. After Song Gang had his stitches removed, Wandering Zhou happily went out to buy him a bra. He told Song Gang that this was a D-cup bra, and those able to wear a D cup were genuine Boobs Queens. Then he told Song Gang ingratiatingly, "You are also a Boobs Queen."

Song Gang saw that Wandering Zhou had bought him a red bra just like the one on the billboard. He took it and threw it to the floor. Wandering Zhou picked it up and said, "The red one is so good, it really catches the eye."

Song Gang said, "Fuck your mother!"

"I'll go exchange it immediately," Wandering Zhou replied. "Song Gang, I know that you are a low-key person, so I'll go exchange it for a white one right away."

Five days later the rain finally stopped and the sun came out. Song Gang wore a white bra under his shirt, and he and Wandering Zhou took a ferry to Hainan Island. Having sold so little Boobs cream in more than seven months wandering through Canton, Wandering Zhou had decided that Canton was an inauspicious place and resolved to travel to Hainan Island to make a new beginning. With his new fake breasts, Song Gang would often lose his balance while walking, as his body would pitch forward, to the point that he gradually became hunchbacked. When Song Gang climbed aboard the ferry, he stood on the deck gripping the railing, feeling the weight of his fake breasts. He gazed out at the Canton coast, feeling empty inside and not knowing what the future would bring. Amid the sounds of the waves and the rays of the sun, between the sky and the ocean, he saw a seagull soaring and heard its cries. He thought of Lin Hong's exhortations over the phone that he return home immediately. As the waves jostled the ferry, and with the breeze blowing through his hair, he began to hear Lin Hong's exhortations in the seagull's cries. As they gradually faded away Song Gang couldn't help weeping, out of a sense of desolation. It had already been a year since he left home. When he left Liu Town, he
imagined that he would be home by now, but instead he was traveling farther and farther away.

On Hainan Island, Wandering Zhou and Song Gang once again began selling their bust-enhancing cream. As they had done while selling artificial hymens in Liu Town a year earlier, the two stood on the street surrounded by men and women. Song Gang stood there like a model, without saying a word—his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his white bra and D-cup breasts. Wandering Zhou kept wagging his tongue, tirelessly singing the praises of their Boobs cream, saying that it was made up of 35 percent natural vitamins and 65 percent genetically engineered human growth hormone. The growth agent could make breasts mature X times over the course of just a few days, X times faster than weeds. The vitamins not only helped make the breasts supple but also kept the skin soft and tender, and furthermore, "it doesn't contain any steroids and is completely safe and reliable."

When Wandering Zhou finished introducing the bust-enhancing cream, he then turned to Song Gangs breasts. He introduced Song Gang to the men and women crowded around them as Boss Song. Wandering Zhou expounded on how, in the city, breast-enlargement creams were as plentiful as the hairs on a cow, but truly effective ones were as rare as a single hair out of every nine cows. Therefore, in order to determine whether or not the cream was truly effective, Boss Song used some himself, never expecting that two months later … Wandering Zhou then pointed to Song Gangs chest and said, "As a result, our Boss Song now no longer has a mans strapping build but, rather, the supple and graceful figure of a young woman."

The crowds started laughing uncontrollably, crowding around and staring at Song Gang curiously as though he were an alien. As Song Gang blushed with embarrassment, a petite young woman pinched his nipples. Song Gang angrily swatted her hand away, and one of the men reprimanded her, saying, "Where do you get off, thinking that you can fondle a mans sexual organs?"

"You call this a sexual organ?" the woman asked in surprise.

"As long as it is a breast and fondling it can bring on an orgasm, then it is a sexual organ." The man pointed at the woman's petite breasts and added, "I assume you consider these to be sexual organs, don't you?"

As he was speaking the man also pinched Song Gang's nipples, and Song Gang exploded. He grabbed the man's hand and pushed it away. The women in the crowd were pleased, saying that anyone with such
big breasts must be considered a woman. Therefore, they collectively criticized that man, saying, "Who do you think you are, fondling a woman's breasts like that?"

"Is he a woman?" the man asked in surprise.

"If she weren't a woman, how could she have such big breasts?" the women all replied in unison.

"Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman"—Wandering Zhou lifted his Boobs bust-enhancing cream high in the air—"the important thing is that whoever uses this will become a modern-day Queen Boobs."

The petite woman who had fondled Song Gang's fake breasts was the first to come forward. She bashfully paid for two vials of the cream and hurried away. Several middle-aged women then came forward and bought several vials, explaining that they were buying them for their daughters. Some young women also bought some, saying that the cream was for their friends. Finally, some men came forward, explaining that they were buying it for the girlfriends of their girlfriends, or for their wives’ sisters. Wandering Zhou was all smiles as he raked in the money with one hand and handed out the vials of bust-enhancing cream with the other. Within an hour he had managed to sell thirty-seven vials. He then proudly lifted up a box of Boobs bust-enhancing cream, announcing loudly, "Thirty-seven vials of Boobs cream have already found owners. Who will these last ones go to?"