Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2) (16 page)

It's been two days since I left Ace's apartment after the bathroom incident. Two very long days of checking my phone every chance I get. Every time I see no new messages from him, my heart aches a little more than it did before.

I still can't believe it even happened in the first place. I never thought that Ace would want to be intimate with me in any way. I mean, I know he thinks I'm attractive, but I think most guys find a lot of girls attractive. One can look and appreciate all they want. I'm guilty of it myself with Logan. I'd admired how cute he was, and I had certainly enjoyed looking at him. I just figured Ace's obvious attraction was harmless. I might be crushing on him pretty bad, but I assumed those thoughts had probably never crossed his mind.

My body warms as I remember the things he'd said in my ear. The knowledge that he
has
thought of me in those ways has me utterly floored. Someone as hot as Ace Wellington finds
me
sexy. Unbelievable.

As much as I'm thrilled to know this, I'd give anything to turn back time. Even if that means never experiencing what he'd given me in his bathroom. If our friendship ends because of it, I'm going to be crushed.

I feel the sting of tears behind my eyes as I gaze blindly at the book I'm pretending to read in the empty book shop. It's slow today, so I'm in the back reading on my break since I'm not hungry. I blink back my tears and sniffle slightly.

“Faith? Hon, what's wrong?”

I'm so startled that the book falls out of my hands and hits my knee before falling to the hardwood floor. I look up to find Zoey standing above me, frowning. When did she arrive? I didn't even hear her.

Zoey gracefully bends down and picks up the book. She holds it out to me, her brown eyes scanning mine. “Were you crying?”

“Um, no. I think I'm developing a cold. My nose has been running all day,” I lie as I take the book from her hands.

Going by her expression, she doesn't believe me. She turns and grabs the other plush chair and drags it over near mine. She sits down, adjusting her skirt over her thighs. “Okay, spill. It's just us girls, and I promise not to share.”

I look down at the murder mystery I'd been reading and debate whether to tell her or not. She's a close friend of Ace's, so she might have an idea where his head is at.

No, I can't.

She's warned me not to fall for Ace multiple times. Her warnings echo in my head, and I find myself wondering if maybe Ace had pitied me. Is that what the incident in the bathroom had been about? He'd wanted to prove to me I'm sexy, but had his heart been behind it or was he just enjoying the physical closeness of being around a nearly naked woman?

Tears burn my eyes again, and I blink them back in hopes that Zoey doesn't notice.

“Aw, honey. I figured something was up when you turned down our invitation last night to hang. You sounded bummed over the phone. What did you do this weekend? Did you go out with Logan again? I'm telling you right now, if Logan hurt you in any way, I'm going to chop off his dick and feed it to him until he gags,” Zoey announces with a hint of relish in her tone.

Good Lord.
I look up at her and immediately shake my head, wanting to save Logan from Zoey's wrath. “I haven't seen Logan since our date. He hasn't called me,” I insist as I wonder how often Caleb fears for his manly bits when they argue.

Zoey shakes her head. “All he's good for is sex. If he calls you, screw him, then forget about him. He's a lot like Ace and Jeremy. All he wants is ass. Now, tell my why you're crying if this has nothing to do with Logan.”

“I'm just feeling emotional today.”

“Oh...Aunt Flo's visiting, huh?” she asks with a sympathetic look.

“Aunt Flo? Oh! Yes, I took some Midol earlier, and I'm still waiting for it to kick in,” I say as I grab on to the excuse.

“You should go on the shot.”

“What shot?”

“Depo. Love that stuff. I don't get my period at all anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you should look into it.”

“Maybe I will.”

“You want to hang tonight? Maybe rent a movie and pig out on ice cream? Caleb works at the center tonight, so I'm on my own,” she offers.

Just the idea of watching a rented movie has me thinking of Ace. I think I'd rather be alone tonight. “I'm just going to curl up with a good book for a while and then go to bed early,” I tell her lightly.

Zoey looks disappointed until she brightens. “Okay. I guess I can probably get Ace to go out with me. I haven't seen him much lately, so it'd be nice to catch up.”

Just the mention of Ace's name has my chest tightening. I wish there was someone I could talk to. Ace is avoiding me, and I'm too scared to make the first move. If only I could get some advice from a guy's perspective. Unfortunately, Caleb's the only other guy I'd be willing to go to for advice, and I'd likely go to him if it weren't for the fact that Ace is friends with
him
as well. If I went to Caleb, I'd run the risk of him going to Ace about what I said, which might make things worse.

I can't believe I'm calling my brother for advice on Ace. I'd come home from my shift, and the idea started rolling around in my head as I'd made myself dinner. Going to Ben for relationship advice is definitely a first for me. I never talked to him about my issues with Justin.  Of course, when I was dating Justin, Ben wasn't even living at home. He'd been at college and had his own life to live at the time.

The phone rings on the other end, and I wait patiently for someone to pick up.

“Hey Faith,” my brother greets after the third ring.

I smile at the sound of his voice. Since Justin's attack, we've grown closer. I settle on the sofa and watch Daisy play with the catnip mouse on the floor. “Hi. How's Della?”

“She's doing well. I think if she gets any bigger she's going to throw a tantrum and pull all her hair out. Every time they weigh her at her appointments, I end up making numerous runs to the grocery store for comfort food. Which doesn't really help the weight issue, if you ask me,” he adds in a low whisper.

I burst out laughing, and it scares Daisy so bad that she runs off down the hall and out of sight. “Don't you dare tell her that,” I warn.

Ben snorts. “You think I'm stupid? I value my life.”

“Any names yet?” I ask hopefully.

“No.”

“I'm sure you'll figure something out, preferably before the baby is born,” I tease.

“I've already got mom breathing down my neck, I don't need my little sister nagging me, too,” he grumbles.

“Duly noted,” I say lightly.

“You don't have anything to worry about. He hasn't gone anywhere,” Ben says quietly.

“Who?” I ask before I realize I'd completely forgotten about Oliver. For a brief second, I'm stunned. I've completely pushed Oliver out of my head since I started spending time with Ace.

There's a surprised silence on the other end of the line. “What have you been doing that's made you forget
why
you're there in the first place?” my brother asks suspiciously.

I sigh inwardly. This is not how I wanted to start this conversation. “I've been a little distracted lately,” I admit cautiously.

“What else are you doing out there besides getting tattoos? Do I have to start checking in with Caleb to see what you're up to?”

“No! Ben, I'm not doing anything wrong. I just...need some advice.”

There's another long pause on the other end of the line. “Advice on what?”

I realize Ben might go to Caleb about my call, and now I'm beginning to regret calling him in the first place.

“Faith?”

It's too late to back track. “This stays between you and me, right?” I ask, needing confirmation that he won't hang up and call Caleb as soon as we're finished with our conversation.

“What? This conversation? Now I'm getting worried, Faith. What kind of advice do you need?”

“The kind that should stay just between you and me. I don't want you to share any of this with Caleb.”

“Why not?” he asks in a tone that lets me know I'm handling this all wrong.

I sigh and flop back on the couch to stare up at the ceiling. This is not how imagined this conversation would go. “Because the advice I'm hoping for has to do with one of Caleb's friends. One of his guy friends.”

“I see. Why don't you just spit out what you need advice on, and we'll go from there, okay?”

It's not like I have much of a choice now. “I've become close friends with a guy named Ace. Actually, he's become my best friend, Ben. He's so easy to talk to, and we've been spending a lot of time together lately. Then, the other night...”

Ben sighs. “One of you made a move on the other, right?”

“Yeah. We kissed, but afterwards it grew awkward, and I left. I haven't heard from him since,” I tell him quietly.

Ben's quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “Faith, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I think it's way too soon for you to be interested in anyone, let alone dating.”

I sit up abruptly, frowning. “It's been over a year since the attack.”

“And you rarely even left the house. When you
did
work up the nerve, Justin's asshole brother came after you. Look, I get you're in a new place and want to experience new things—put Justin behind you permanently and move on with your life. But I think diving into anything with the first guy you meet is asking for trouble.”

“He wasn't the first guy I met. I met a bunch of Caleb's friends,” I feel the need to point out.

“The point I'm making, Faith, is that I don't think you're ready to open yourself up to anyone. Learn to be independent first before you start relying on someone new. Do you understand what I'm saying, or am I messing this up?” he asks warily.

“I know where you're coming from with what you're saying. The thing is, Ace is the one who's been pushing me to be all that you just said.”

“What do you mean?”

“He picked up on the fact that I avoid confrontation, and I have a tendency to take the easy way out,” I confess wryly. “He's pushed me to make all the decisions when he's around, and he's always asking me what I think or what I want to do. He cares about my opinion, and he's helped me become more independent. Most importantly...he wants to know about Justin. Ace cares enough about me to know that what happened in my past has to do with who I am today. It's weird, Ben, but it's like he understands what I went through. He may not know every detail, but it's like he gets me.”

Ben is oddly silent on the other end of the line.

“Ben?” I ask uncertainly. Had I said too much and given away how deep my feelings run for Ace?

“Sounds like he's a good guy,” Ben says grudgingly.

I can't read his tone, so I have no idea what he's thinking. “He is,” I agree tentatively.

“I have to give him props for not avoiding your past. Most guys would. As much as I hate to say this, I'm going to say it anyway. Sounds like he's the real deal, and you've got a good man for a friend. Let me ask you this, though. Do
you
think you're ready for a relationship if that turns out to be what he wants?” he asks curiously.

“I think I am,” I say slowly. “I feel a connection with him, and I know he'd never hurt me. At least not intentionally. I trust him.”

“You trust him? Like flat out trust him with your life?” Ben asks steadily.

“Yes,” I say without hesitation.

Ben blows out a breath on the other end of the line. “All right. So you haven't heard from him since the kiss you shared?”

“No.”

“Have you tried to contact him?”

“I was afraid to. I don't want to push, especially if he's not wanting to talk to me yet.”

“I'm not great with giving advice on relationships, but I'll do my best here. He's not contacting you for three possible reasons. The first would be he regrets what happened, and he doesn't want to deal with the fall out. From what you said, I don't think he'd throw away your friendship over a kiss, so I don't think that's his reason, but don't quote me on it,” he warns.

“Okay, what's the second?” I watch Daisy slowly stalk back into the room. Her little eyes are on the toy mouse on the carpet, and she's getting close to pouncing on it.

“The second one is he's a smart man and knows to give a woman space when she needs time to think. He might be taking this time to think over what he wants, too. He might be concerned that if you take your relationship to the next level and it doesn't work out, he might lose you completely. It's hard to go back to being friends if you cross that line. Some can, but from watching a few friends go that route, the friendship eventually falls apart.”

I sigh loudly and Daisy stops stalking her mouse to look up at me accusingly. I'd broken her kitty mojo. “Sorry,” I murmur to her. She turns away to bat at the mouse, ignoring my apology.

“Sorry?” Ben echoes with confusion.

“Not you, I'm talking to Daisy.”

“Daisy? That a friend of yours? I've never heard you mention a Daisy before.”

“No, Daisy's my kitten,” I explain with a grin.

“Kitten? Are you allowed to have pets where you live?”

“Nope, but Ace didn't care. He had me put together a bucket list of things I've always wanted to do, and I wrote down I wanted a pet, a kitten preferably. Now I have one.”

Ben's silent for a second. “I guess that earns him bonus points,” he grumbles.

I know what my brother is thinking, and I can't help but chuckle. Ben is not a fan of cats. “If it makes you feel any better, Ace got her for me even though he doesn't like cats. He tries to keep his distance from her when he's over here.”

“I'm beginning to like this guy more and more. Takes balls to get a girl something you don't like and will have to continuously deal with every time you see her.”

“That's what I thought. So, what's your third?”

“He's worried
you're
the one that's going to reject him. If he cares about you, which it sounds like he does, he's probably been pacing the floor wondering what you’re thinking. He might be giving you time to think, or he might not have worked up the nerve to initiate the confrontation that's bound to happen.”

“Do you think I should contact him first?” I chew my bottom lip and wait for his answer.

“No. Give it a few more days, and see if he comes to you first. If he's still debating on what he wants, pushing him to talk about it before he's ready to may not be a good idea.”

“So what do I do?”

“Nothing, for now. Get your head straight and when you see him next, act like you usually do around him. If you act awkward, it'll be downhill from there. Just act yourself, and hopefully he'll clue you in on what he's thinking. From everything you've told me, I think he'll contact you on his own.”

“Okay, but what do I do about our friendship? What if I can't forget the kiss?”
And the orgasm
, I can't help but think as I remember that night in vivid detail. I find myself aching for a man I might not ever be able to have. I know his reputation, and I am certainly not going to share it with Ben to get further feedback. The thing is, will I be able to move forward with a platonic relationship with him, or will it be more torture than I can handle?

“I can't help you figure that part out. You're on your own when it comes to what you want or don't want,” Ben says lightly.

“Okay. Thanks for listening to me and giving me your advice. You won't tell Caleb any of this, right?” I need to know that this conversation will stay just between us.

“If this guy sounded like a douche, I'd be calling him. I won't say anything the next time I talk to him, but if you call me sobbing because you got hurt, all bets are off,” he warns.

A smile curves my lips. “I wouldn't expect anything less.”

“Good. Now, call me in a few days and let me know how things are going, will you?”

“I will. Thanks, Ben.”

“Love you, Kiddo. Goodnight.”

“Love you, too. Night.”

I hang up the phone, and for the first time since I left Ace's apartment the other night, I feel better about the situation. My mind has been all over the place for two days now. Most of the time, I feel like Ace's attraction for me was genuine, and that he'd been thinking for a while now about what it'd be like if we had sex. Then there's the insecure side that thinks he was just trying to show me that my body was attractive; until one thing led to another, he hadn't even planned on ever doing anything intimate with me. Which would be why he's ignoring me, because he regrets it. The thing is, Ace has always been honest with me no matter the subject we're discussing. I can't imagine him making up the things he'd said in the bathroom, so I have to stop worrying that he'd done it out of pity. Ace wouldn't mess with me like that. I
know
he wouldn't.

My phone chirps loudly in the silence of the living room, causing me to jump. I grab the phone off the sofa cushion, and my heart leaps when I see it's a text message from Ace.
We need to talk.

I stare at the single sentence that holds so much meaning behind it. I've been waiting for him to contact me, and now that he has, I'm scared. Is this the end? Will our friendship be over after we talk? Just the thought of losing Ace has a pang piercing my chest. As I stare at the text message, I realize I need to answer him.

I quickly text back,
Ok. I'm home.

My phone instantly chirps with a new incoming message.
I'm standing right outside your door.

The second I read his response, my head swivels, and I stare at my apartment door. I thought I'd have maybe an hour or so to prepare myself. Not seconds. I quickly toss the phone aside and scramble to my feet. As I cross the room to the door, I realize I'm lucky I'd had my conversation with Ben first before Ace arrived at my doorstep.

I blow out a nervous breath and try to relax my facial muscles. Ben warned me to act normal, and that's what I'm going to do. I unlock the door and open it up, a warm smile ready on my face when I see him. “Hi.”

The first thing I notice about him is he looks tired. Ace usually looks alert and ready for anything, but tonight there are slight circles under his eyes, and the skin around the corners of his lips look tense. My heart tugs as I realize that what happened between us has affected him as much as it's affected me. Possibly in such a bad way that our friendship might be over.