Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2) (18 page)

Ace saves me from responding. He continues speaking as he shoots me a look. “I meant it when I said they can't compare to you. I could have fucked any of those women tonight, my dick didn't even twitch. Now I'm fucking hard as a rock because here you stand in just a pair of small shorts and a tank, and to me it's like you're wearing the sexiest negligee.” His eyes drop to my breasts. “I see the outline of your nipples, and all I can think about is sucking them until they're bright pink and you're pulling my hair.”

My lips part, and my eyes drop to his crotch. He's definitely...ah, hard.

“Damn it, Angel. This attraction is a losing battle.”

Very reluctantly, I pull my eyes away from the evidence of his arousal and meet his gaze. “I don't want to fight it anymore. I can't watch you with them, Ace. I realized tonight that everything has changed,” I say softly.

His face twists. “I hurt you tonight, didn't I?” Regret shines in his eyes. “I didn't mean to. They meant nothing. Absolutely
nothing
. I usually dance with plenty of women when I'm out and about, though I haven't been to the clubs much since we got closer. But with Caleb there, I was afraid my feelings for you would be obvious if I didn't act like I usually do.”

My lips flatten momentarily as I gaze at him. “I don't know, Ace. Are we actually going to try something real? If so, I have to warn you, I won't share.”

Those gray eyes of his burn mine as he says deliberately, “The last time I had sex was the night I met you.”

I search his gaze for any hint of a lie, but his eyes are honest. “Really?”

“Babe, look at my dick,” he says, pointing to his crotch. “Does this look like a dick that's been regularly getting some?”

Amusement lightens the situation, and my lips twitch as I gaze to where he's pointing. “No, it looks like it's in need of some relief,” I murmur daringly. Looks like alcohol not only makes me emotional but bold as well.

Ace groans and physically backs away towards my door. “Shit. Don't say that to me, not tonight.”

I take a step towards him with bewilderment. “You're not leaving, are you?”

He holds up a hand, clearly warning me to stop. I quit walking and stand there. “Hell, yeah, I'm leaving,” he says in a strained voice. “Z said she gave you shots tonight, so alcohol is still in your system. I'd rather cut my arm off than do something you might regret in the morning.”

The fact that he's trying to be honorable warms my heart. “I won't regret it.” I know I won't. I've been wanting to feel his body against mine since that first night we met.

He shakes his head. “I'm not taking chances. Not with you. I have a game I have to attend for my training tomorrow night. I'll be back around ten. We can go out, talk somewhere and try to figure this shit out.” His eyes hold mine. “If we're going to attempt this Faith, I want to make sure we are on the same page. You get me?”

I nod. “Okay.”

His eyes suddenly narrow. “You cover up your freckles tonight at the club?”

I'm taken aback by the sudden question. I wanted to look more sophisticated tonight, so I'd covered them with foundation. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I thought I'd look better...”

“Fuck that. Keep the damn freckles. I see them covered again, and that's going to be a serious issue between us,” he warns before he turns and opens the door.

The next day is pure torture as the minutes slowly tick by. At least while I'd been working I'd had a distraction. Now that I'm home with nothing to do, I find myself wandering the apartment, anxious for it to be ten so that I can see Ace again.

A slow smile spreads across my face as I sit down on the floor to play with Daisy while I wait. Yesterday, I'd been miserably uncertain as to whether or not Ace and I had a chance for something real. Now today, I'm excited and full of anticipation. I know where Ace's head is at—finally! He wants what I do. I know that doesn't necessarily mean that it'll work out, but the fact that he's willing to try has me feeling optimistic. As long as Ace is willing to be honest with me and willing to commit to me without having any other women in his life, then I think we're off to a good start. The rest will fall in place.

Now what I need to do is get my insecurities in check. I have to find a way to accept the fact that all the women he's been with are now his past. I need to find a way to stop comparing myself to them.

As I use the long stick to trail a toy mouse in front of Daisy, I sober up a little bit. I am optimistic, but I'm aware that the road we're taking won't be easy. It sounds like I'll be the first committed relationship he's ever had, which means there's bound to be mistakes and some miscommunication at times. It's inevitable.

Then there's my past experience with relationships. Mine isn't so great. I've been in one relationship, and I'd been controlled daily by what he’d wanted. I can't let that happen with Ace. It's going to be imperative that I always speak my mind and say 'no' when I want. Ace has made it very clear that he wants me to be independent. If he even gets wind of the possibility that I'm converting myself into what I think he wants—rather than being myself—we're going to have major problems. I need to keep in mind that it's okay to argue with him if we have a disagreement. He's not going to insult me or be cruel to me. Sure, he'll be mad, but he won't make it worse by doing or saying the things that Justin had.

These are all things I've thought long and hard about today. Ace made it clear last night that he wants to make sure we're on the same page with everything. This tells me that he's thought things out and has an idea of how he'd like things to progress. I think it’s important I think about these things, too. When we talk tonight, we'll understand each other better. I'm also hoping the night will end on a happy note. A
very
happy note. I think we've put off the inevitable long enough. Tonight, I want to be with Ace.

I play with Daisy for a little bit longer and then glance at my watch. It's ten-forty-five. I'd completely zoned out while playing with Daisy and sorting out my thoughts. I glance in the direction of the island counter where my phone is at, and I know Ace hasn't text messaged me or I would have heard it. I sure hope he's just running behind and not changing his mind about wanting to talk tonight.

Daisy gets bored playing by herself and climbs up on my lap to be petted. I smile down at her and give her what she wants. I love having her around. Sure, she stinks up the bathroom in the mornings when I shower, because evidently her digestive system is on a routine. The second I hop in the shower is when Daisy decides it's time to use the litter box. There's also the fact that she's shredded my poor comforter to death, but I still keep it on the bed because she loves racing across it. I've also replaced the shower curtain in the bathroom. Oh, and she chewed up one of my flip-flops the other day while I was at work. The little twerp dragged it into the bathroom during a time that I hadn't been paying attention to her. She's a little rascal, but I wouldn't change a thing.

My phone chimes in the silence of the living room, and my mood immediately brightens. I carefully set Daisy on the carpet and rise to my feet to get my phone. I quickly read Ace's text.
Running late and just hopping in the shower. Door is unlocked if you just want to swing over and wait.
Of course, my reply back is,
I'll be right over.

I put Daisy in the bathroom, double checking first that she has water in her bowl before I leave. Ace's door is indeed unlocked, and I walk right in. The apartment is quiet, and I can hear the shower running in the bathroom. I walk over and settle on the couch closest to the hallway as I wait. I study the game cartridges for a bit as I wonder what Ace does in his spare time when he's not at class or with me. He doesn't seem like the type to stay inside and hole up with video games. As the question crosses my mind, I realize we have a lot to learn yet about one another.

The shower turns off in the bathroom, and I sit patiently as I wait. When the bathroom door opens, I glance up and see Ace enter the hallway with just a towel wrapped around his hips. He immediately glances in the direction of the living room, and I watch as his expression brightens when he sees me. He walks to the end of the hall near the living room doorway and pauses as he gazes at me. “I just have to put something on. I was thinking we could hit a late movie, then the beach to talk if you don't think it'd be too late for you. I forgot to ask if you work tomorrow.”

As he'd began speaking, my eyes had slowly began to drift. I'm female after all. When a sexy man stands there with just a towel around his hips, a woman is going to feast her eyes on all that naked flesh. He'd evidently dried off quickly, and I can still see little droplets of water scattered across his tan, well-defined chest.  I usually focus all my attention on his piercings when he's shirtless, but tonight, I take time out to study his stomach. It's ripped. Definitely a six pack. My eyes lower to where the towel is knotted low on his hips. I see a growing bulge behind it, and my heart begins to pound.

Ace clears his throat. “Or we can stay in...”

At the sound of his low, deliberate tone, I know what he's thinking. My eyes lift to meet his. I really, really want this. I slowly nod. “I'd rather stay in.”

His eyes darken as they roam over me almost hungrily. He holds out a hand, his expression intense as he waits to see if I'll go to him.

I slowly rise to my feet and walk towards him. I hadn't dressed for seduction, and now I'm wishing I would have. I'd rather be wearing something sexy than just a pair of jean shorts and a tee. My hand slides against his, and his fingers immediately tighten around mine. He gives me a slow, sexy smile and turns to lead me down the hall.

I trail behind him, eyes dropping to where I can make out the outline of his butt as he walks. I can't help but wonder if he'd ever let me simply explore him. I'd love to take my time learning every sculpted curve of his body.

A light turns on over Ace's shoulder. Before I can peer around him to sneak a peek at his room, he's turning around and pulling me flush up against his body, his lips claiming mine in hungry kiss. I'm immediately lost in the sensation of his wicked tongue skillfully seducing mine. My hands lift to rest on his damp, bare shoulders as his hands slide down to cup my rear end. He presses his towel covered erection against my belly, and I moan helplessly into his mouth as I feel myself go damp between my legs.

Ace begins to walk backwards, tugging me with him. He ends the kiss briefly, his gray eyes heavy with sexual intent as he runs his hands up to my waist, then he physically lifts me up while I clutch his shoulders. He turns and gently lays me down on his bed, and I can't resist looking around curiously. When I see that I'm lying on a huge, four poster bed that dominates most of the space in his room, my heart suddenly skips a beat. I've been dying to be with him, but now that the moment is here...I feel doubt trickling through my desire.

Ace's lips claim mine as he settles himself beside me, his weight braced on one arm next to my head. I'm immediately distracted as his tongue coils around my own, and that slight hint of doubt fades as I angle my lips against his so that I can kiss him back. One of his hands settles on my stomach, inching underneath my shirt. I make a sound against his lips, definitely ready for what he has planned for tonight. As my hand reaches for his waist to run over his hip, I feel his body tense up slightly. As he's kissing me, I realize his body isn't as relaxed as it had been the night on the couch. He seems tense now. His lips are still devouring mine, but his hand hasn't crept up to my breasts like it'd been about to.

This feels wrong somehow when I know being intimate with him should feel right. Everything has always been so natural between us, like we were meant to be together. But right now...it just isn't feeling like this should be happening.

At least not tonight.

The four thick bedposts flash in my mind, and then I envision just how many women have been restrained in this bed.
Restrained...
Oh my God. I hadn't considered... I'd thought of everything but the reality of the way he likes to have sex. Is he going to do that to me? A small part of me is excited at the thought while the rest of me is scared. I don't want it to be like that our first time. I want to be with him, but not like this. Not in a bed that's seen more women than I care to ask about. Going by his reputation, his room has a revolving door.

“Faith?” Ace asks with concern.

I realize he's stopped kissing me, and he's leaning over me, his gray eyes searching mine. I blink and focus on him. How do I tell him that none of this feels right?

Ace reaches out and touches my cheek tenderly. “Talk to me. One minute you're with me, then the next you're somewhere else.”

It's a struggle to sort out my thoughts now that I suddenly have so many of them. I avert my eyes, and they settle on one of the bed posts that points up to the ceiling. It just reinforces my earlier thoughts. I can't do it. Not like this. “I think we're rushing things!” I blurt out as I struggle to sit up.

Ace moves back to give me space, and he runs a hand through his still damp hair as his eyes roam over my face carefully. He's silent for a minute before he speaks. “We'll go as slow as you want,” he assures firmly. “If this is too fast, we'll slow it down. What I really want to know is what put that odd expression on your face when we quit kissing. You looked confused and almost hurt. Did I do something to trigger a bad memory?”

I can't help but look away again as I struggle with this sudden turn of events. I don't want to admit to him that I'm a little scared. Nor do I want to start our relationship acting jealous over all the women he's been with. And how do I address the situation of his preference for restraints? It's a part of him. I knew that, but I hadn't taken into consideration that it would affect me. I'd spent the day thinking about so many things, but being tied down hadn't been one of them.

I don't know what to say, and I'm worried I'm going to say something that will ruin this evening.