Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3) (12 page)

“What things, Sean? Things like how you cut
me off two years ago and sent me packing? Things like how you did
it again, with finality, six months ago? Things like not
communicating or contacting me in all that time? Telling me to be
happy? Find someone
else
and be happy? Huh, Sean? Those
things?”

He blinked at her, his confidence now
evaporating. She took that as a sign to push her luck. “Or what
about things concerning you spending two and a half years planning
to work for the company I got hired into and never mentioning it to
me? Not
once!
We sat on a surf board in the middle ocean
with no one around, talking about a new job offer, changing
locations, and you never even
hinted
that you were planning
a hostile takeover of my life.
Again.
You cut me off, pushed
me away, told me to find someone new, and then followed me to rub
it in. Couldn’t you let me handle your rejection in
peace,
Sean? Did you have to then show up and flaunt it?”

Crying and hysterical, Krista was making a
scene and did not care in the slightest. It was all coming out. All
the hurt and torture were being purged. She only hoped Marcus was
doing damage control.

“
Oh God
, Krissy, that wasn’t my
intention. That was never my intention…”

“What wasn’t your intention, Sean? Dumping
me, or following me around the state to rub it in?”

“Krista, I came to this region because you
were single. If you were still with your boyfriend, I would have
gone elsewhere. All that I’ve done over the last two years has been
for you. I moved down here for you.”

“That’s bullshit. You wanted Junior VP before
I met you. You
stayed
for you.”

“Yes, but I didn’t plan to work with Tory
until it was clear you would accept his offer. I worked like a dog
to get that promotion. If you had stayed in San Francisco, I
wouldn’t have worked so hard. So fast.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I couldn’t follow you down here right away
because I was just a salesman. I needed VP in my title so I could
move with some clout. Tory talked about bringing me on, but I
needed upward mobility. I made an agreement with him. If I could
show myself worthy in Dexico as VP, then he would consider me. I
worked harder than I ever had in my life to make the move as fast
as possible. I was against the clock. It was only a matter of time
before you moved on. Then, in San Francisco, I thought you
had
moved on and it was all for nothing—I wasn’t going to
take the job. But then you became single—I want to be able to
provide for you. For our future.
I love you,
Krista
.
I’ve always loved you.”

It happened before she knew it. She didn’t
mean to, but her hand moved of its own accord. She slapped him
across the face. As hard as she could. A resounding smack echoed.
To Sean’s credit, after the initial shock of it, he didn’t move. He
didn’t get angry. He looked at her solemnly.

“
You righteous asshole!”
she
screamed.

Sean’s face screwed up in confusion, red
already showing where her hand met his cheek. “I don’t
understand.”

Her tears, having subsided slightly over his
dialogue, renewed in force. “Why didn’t you tell me to wait for
you? Three years of my life I’ve been half a person. I’ve been a
shell. I would have waited! I would have stayed true to you. Why
did you hurt me like that, Sean, if you intended to follow me the
whole time? Why didn’t you tell me? Confide in me?
Why?”

She was begging at the end, her legs giving
out slightly. Sean stepped forward and caught her easily.

“I wanted you to be happy, baby,” he said
urgently in her ear. “You don’t deserve a man that couldn’t drop
everything and go with you. You don’t deserve a man that let you
leave. I didn’t know how long it would take. How could I ask that
of you?”

“What if I had married someone else? Did you
think of that? I would have done that only to try and forget you.
To move on—to try and be happy, like you said. And I would have
regretted every day of it. It was my choice to wait, Sean.
My
choice. Not yours.

“No, you know what?” She pushed away from him
violently. Pain lanced his face. “You were only trying to protect
yourself! Love is hard, but my moving got you off the hook. I was
closer to you than any other woman has been, and that scared you.
So you said, ‘Be happy, Krista, find someone that can love you
better.’ That’s not
noble,
Sean, that’s cowardice. You took
the easy way out, leaving me to take the harder road. You worked
like a dog for
you.
You chanced losing me for
your
pride
. Well, guess what, Sean, congratulations, you lost me! I
hope it was worth it!”

She struggled away from him, pushed past an
admirer that strayed too close to the train wreck, and burst out of
the bar. She was bawling so hard she leaned against the wall to
prevent herself from falling. She could have had him again. He
would have gotten back together with her. He might have tried to
push her away initially, but in the end, he did come for her.

Except, it was on
his
terms. The last
two and a half years were on his terms. Krista was still just a
pawn. The variable in his equation.

And she was tired of not having control of
the game. Of her
life.

She felt hands on her shoulders and flailed
before she realized it was Kate.

“Calm down, honey, it’s just me. Let’s get
you home. Jaz and Ben are helping Marcus with damage control then
they’ll follow, okay? They’ll pick up more beer on the way—you
won’t remember tonight when we’re done, okay?”

“It hurts, Kate.” She cried into her best
bud.
On
to her, more like. She had to bend down to reach
Kate’s shoulder.

Kate walked a sobbing Krista to the curb and
a cab. They climbed in together, bumping off the door and landing
in a crash onto the plastic seats.

“I know it hurts, sweetie. But you did what
was best for you. He needed that. I love Sean, but he thinks he
rules the world. He wants control of everything, including you.
Including your relationship. That isn’t balanced. It isn’t fair.
You did what was right for you. That’s all that matters.”

Krista dipped her head as the tears fell.
“But I love him.”

“I know, sweetie. But you love
you
more. You need to look out for yourself if he won’t. You can’t look
out for him if no one is looking out for you, you know? I sound
like a fucking idiot right now, but trust me, it’s for the best.
You did the right thing.”

“Okay.”

Kate hugged her and stroked her hair, letting
Krista sag and close her eyes against the pain. Krista wished for
sleep. For painless sleep. Instead, she was taken home and given
mass quantities of alcohol.

“Bottom’s up, girl. Let’s drink it away
tonight. Then tomorrow, the hangover will drown out the hurt, okay?
After that, exercise, work, and healing. It’ll be a long road, but
we’ll do it together, okay? Bottom’s up. We’ll forget
together.”

And so it went. Jasmine and Ben met up with
them when Krista was still seeing straight. By the end of the
night, that was remedied. They did some karaoke, Krista cried a
little. and Ben moped—he was still heartbroken, too. They did some
twister, Krista cried some more, and Ben moped more animatedly.
They ended up passing out in various places in the house. Krista
had been rejected by Sean, even though he came back to collect the
pieces he’d made, but Krista had never felt so loved by a group of
people than she did that night.

Monday was another story, altogether. All
four of them were wrecked on Saturday, so they went for the hair of
the dog. That turned into another drunken fest, in which Ben
finally broke down while Krista was sobbing. They held each other
up as Kate and Jasmine took turns singing sad ballads and yelling
at men trying to hit on them. Sunday they nursed their hangovers
with grease and sleep, and Monday they still felt like dog poop.
But they all felt like it together.

It was mid-day and Krista was debating lunch
when Marcus rolled in.

“Geegee, what are you up to?” he said in his
easy way as he sat down.

“Well, Marcus, I’m glad you asked. You see, I
do what is called
work
. Basically, I show up to this place
for a certain amount of time, do things that are asked of me, and
get paid for it. It really cuts down on my social time, but I
manage.”

“About your social time…”

Krista lost her sarcasm to fear. “How bad is
the rumor mill?”

“Well, I had to get partially naked to keep
everyone’s attention on Friday--”

“I’m sure you
hated
that.”

“—and the band was pretty loud, so we could
only hear every fifth word or so. We got the gist but the details
were missed.”

Krista relaxed a little until he said, “But
the rumor mill is in full swing. I took the liberty of sampling the
waters this morning.”

“How did I fare?”

“Well, I’ll tell you: Sean is ahead in the
polls on a generic level. The overall consensus is that you are a
fool for turning him down in any capacity. Besides that, the
married people think that he showed his worth by coming for you
eventually. Apparently that is enough for most of the married
women. I would like to add a side note that possibly marriage isn’t
all it’s cracked up to be, based on that perspective.”

Marcus cleared his throat. “The single women
do agree with you for the most part, but still think you are a
fool, of course. They are under the impression you should, at
least, have used him for sex. Too hot to let go, obviously. The gay
men think he should’ve been put out with the trash, but beforehand
used for sex. The straight men don’t want to be caught talking
about relationship issues, but have taken even more of an interest
in trying to get you in bed. Beware. They think you are feisty and,
therefore, good in the sack.”

“They are right, obviously. Great in bed,”
she said sarcastically, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m sure, yeah. Anyway, that’s about it. It
could be a lot worse. That scene is only being talked about because
you are the two best looking people in the company, besides me, of
course.” Marcus paused for effect. Krista rolled her eyes. He
continued, “You two are such demanding assholes most people think
you deserve each other. Oh, and Chet is a celebrity. The abused,
misunderstood ex-boyfriend of the Big Bitch. Thank God he got out
in time, and all that.”

“Crap, Chet. I had forgotten about him. Poor
guy.”

“Yeah, I believe there was one instance where
you said you might have married and regretted it. That wasn’t too
complimentary to the guy. I wouldn’t have let you marry that tool,
of course, but that is beside the point. He is getting a lot of
pity sex.”

“Chet’s not a tool. He’s a good guy. He was
good to me.”

“Krista, you were too love sick to realize
that he was a sensitive, insignificant tool with no personality. He
dropped his panties for you because he needed someone to guide him
through life. I love you, dearest, but you can bully the best of
‘em.”

“Except Sean.” She leaned back and sighed.
Hurt consumed her again. She focused on the remnants of the
hangover, instead.

“No, you bullied him, too. He just knew how
to manipulate you to compensate for it.” Marcus smiled like the
Cheshire Cat and got up. “Well, now you are caught up. I have to
dash. I have to do some work today before the boss catches on.”

“Enjoy messing around while you can. Sean’ll
have you under him sooner or later.”

“Ooooh, yes please. I’ll take your sloppy
seconds any day.”

“Eww.”

Marcus laughed. “And what is it I hear about
you being a thorn in the other managers’ side? They don’t seem to
like you…”

Krista rolled her eyes. “No, they don’t. I’m
hoping they’ll come around. They aren’t much fun.”

Marcus waved it away. “No one is as much fun
as me. You’re setting your sights too high, doll.”

“I hear that a lot.”

Marcus laughed again and made his way out
with a “Ciao.”

Chapter Nine

Krista shook her head and checked the time.
“Shit!” Someone that was passing by looked into the office.

“Language,” she muttered to herself as she
got up.

She had to let the department know that Kate
would be taking over her job, and that she would be stepping up to
Phil’s position. That rumor was already circling, so it wasn’t a
surprise, but she needed to follow protocol.

Swaying slightly after standing, she walked
into the middle of the room and waited until everyone fell silent.
All eyes looked up at her expectantly, but also with various traces
of guilt. They obviously weren’t talking about work when she walked
in.

The only thing worse than dealing with
heartache, was it being broadcast on company speakers. Krista was
getting a small dose of what celebrities had to endure, but without
the money to compensate.

“Alright, you’ve all heard the rumors, I take
it?” A few heads nodded, a few eyes got wide.

“Well, it’s none of your business, but since
it has to do with your boss, I’ll say this. Yes, I sometimes dress
slutty on the weekends. And yes, I am a heartbreaker, no big deal.
And no, I am not going to date any of you, so don’t bother asking.
Are we good?”

The semi-circle of seated faces smiled for
the most part, sharing the joke. She got a scowl from a woman in
her fifties. You couldn’t please them all.

“Right. Let’s move on to business. As you
know, there are some big changes happening in the company—“
Everyone looked startled and glanced behind her.

Kate’s eyes went back to Krista
immediately.