By a Thread (25 page)

“Suit up, Cooper,” she said as she walked into the house. He jumped off his chair and followed her into her room. She pulled on shorts and a tank top, put her ear buds in and fastened her phone to her arm. “Nothing like a mind-numbing run to make it better,” she said and rubbed Cooper’s ears. Cooper started doing the dance he did when she got his leash out. She grabbed a bottle of water and made her way to the street and started a punishing run.

Kid Cudi blaring in her ears, she ran down King Street and turned left when she hit the water. Running until she hit the dog park, she let Cooper off his leash and watched him bound around. Then she let herself go, falling to the grass, sobbing. Laying on her back, she opened her eyes as Cooper finally made his way back to her and licked her tear-soaked face. Cooper lay next to her, making sure he was touching her, and closed his eyes with his nose nuzzled in her side. Running out of tears after awhile, she simply closed her eyes. Her body felt hollow. She opened them when felt someone standing over her.

“George.” She said, no feeling or emotion left.

“Hey El, whatcha doing?” He sat down next to her in his running shorts, his shirt was off and tucked into the back of his shorts.

“Nothing much,” she said looking around, pushing herself up on her elbows. Her phone buzzed and she checked the messages, ten from Patrick. She ignored them.

“Looks like that, middle of the day, laying in the dog park.” He brushed the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail out of her eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” she exclaimed and jumped up. “I’ve had enough of everything, shit.”

He raised his hands in surrender and said, “Whoa, sorry, Stella.”

“I’ve had a shitty four years and today’s been right up there, so sorry. I don’t want to chat.” She bent to put Cooper’s leash back on and doubled over.

“El,” George stayed where he was, “let me take you home.”

“I don’t want shit from you.”

“I know.” He shook his head, “How did I fuck this up so much?” He asked of himself rubbing his hand though his black hair.

Then he got up and lifted Stella and put her over his shoulder, “Come on. I’m taking you home.” She had no fight left. She had fought life for too long. She curled into to him. “Come on, Coop,” he slapped his thigh signaling Cooper to come with him. Cooper happily followed them both to a townhouse right across the street.

“I thought you were taking me home.”

“This is my house.” She looked up and took in the townhouse that overlooked the park and the Potomac. The location alone made the townhome worth over a million dollars.

“You live here?” She thought nothing could surprise her anymore. “Fuck, I didn’t know you at all, did I?”

“You know the important stuff.”

“Oh, like how you like your dick sucked.” Her insides were turning, she was going to be sick.

George sucked in a breath and let it pass. “That’s pretty important,” he laughed.

Stella was currently incapable of seeing humor. “You’re liar, just like everyone else. George or whatever the fuck your name is...”

Putting her down on the stoop, he looked into her eyes, “I’m not sure what’s happened, but let’s talk. Let me get you and Coop some water. Talk to me, El. Please.” He ran his thumb across her jaw line. You could call me a motherfucker for the rest of my life and that’d be fine if you would just talk to me.”

“Well, that might be embarrassing for you,” she said without smiling, but followed him in the house. Taking in the den area, the corners of her mouth turned up infinitesimally. It was just like she would have thought, cluttered and homey.

“I see you got some new ink,” George said letting his fingers sweep over her left shoulder tracing the half of a heart. He smiled.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” she instinctively moved away from him and sat on his worn brown leather couch. Three of the walls in his den were bookshelves full of books. “I love this room. The smell of books makes me happy.” She closed her eyes and Cooper walked over and plopped down on her feet.

“What do you want to talk about, El? What was so bad today or four years ago?”

Her phone buzzed again, it was a message from Stan.

Stel, all a go for tomorrow. Your flight is a 2:55 out of National. Pack for a couple of weeks, you may be able to fly back if you are there longer. Good luck.

She sighed and texted back.

great I will come by the office and pick up the deets.

He responded immediately.

no need, ATF agent will be accompanying you on flight and will fill you in

“Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse,” she muttered.
NO. FUCKING. WAY would she sit next to Jamie the entire flight to Montana,
she thought
.

George crossed the room in a few strides and grabbed her phone scanning through her messages from Stan and then Patrick, he cocked his head to the side in a question. She struggled to get her phone back, but he moved quickly from her and held her away with one hand.

“Nosy much,” she said finally getting away from his grip and snatching her phone back.

“Come on Coop, let’s go.” Cooper lazily stretched his legs and arms, then sat back down.

“You going somewhere, El?” George moved in front of the foyer, effectively blocking her way to the front door.

“Got an assignment for a few weeks out of town.” She looked down, “Come on Coop, let’s go.”

“Why won’t you talk to me? I mean you even told Sam.” Hurt emanated from his eyes.

“Well, then you already know,” she had no energy for this conversation. Sighing, “If you ask me questions I will answer them.”

“You were engaged?” They stood toe to toe staring into each other’s eyes.

“Yes.”

“Jamie?”

“Yes.”

“He died?”

“I thought so, yes. I saw him today, so I guess not really.”

George’s eyes got wide. “What do you mean?”

“I guess instead of breaking up with me, he and the ATF decided to fake his death to start a four-year-long undercover operation for him.” Her knees almost gave out at the admission. Not being able to look at George, she closed her eyes.

George absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair. “Wow, they do that? Are you okay? Holy shit.”

“What do you think?” she answered without opening her eyes.

“Okay, that was a stupid question.” He leaned his head back looking at the ceiling, as if an answer to the situation would fall out of the sky. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes trying to figure out how to play this.

Gently, he reached out and took both of her hands and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her. She let him hold her, move her to his leather couch and ease her into the cushy pillows. He put his hand on her leg and she leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat like that for several quiet minutes. Without moving, Stella asked, “So did it work out?”

“What?” He turned to look at her.

“The girl you met last fall, did it work out?” Looking down, she examined her hands.

“Not at all,” he answered honestly.

“What happened?” Stella needed to know, but still couldn’t look at him.

“She wasn’t you.” He didn’t look at her, but resigned himself to the fact that this might be the last time they spoke.

“What?” she whispered, a small glimmer of heat shooting through her.

“It’s just that I love you and can’t seem to get past it.” He smiled down at her, “You’re really hard to love, but even harder to get over.” He pulled at a stray hair that was stuck to her face.

“You love me?” She closed her eyes, unsure she could deal with anything else today. Opening her eyes she looked into those green flecks. “George, we can have this conversation or we can wait. It’s up to you, but I want you to know that I’m in shock. I threw up, like thirty times when I saw Jamie this morning. I just found out I’m headed out of town for a couple of months and my world is kind of imploding right now.”

“El, your life always seems to be in some sort of state of implosion. We can wait, but know that I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I can listen to you, hold you, love you. Whatever you need.” He took a deep breath, “But, I need something from you. You have to give a little bit. I need you to tell me how you feel about me before you go.” George was cradling her now, Stella’s face pressed against his bare chest. He pushed her far enough from him so that she looked at him, “I need this one thing from you.”

She grabbed his face and slammed her lips against his and launched an all-out assault on him. He pushed her back gently, “Not that I don’t really appreciate that and hope to receive more. I need to hear you say how you feel about me, please.”

“Why,” she hedged. All the months she had tried to convince herself he was nothing other than a good lay were not enough to convince her of that, but she wasn’t ready to profess her love.
Was she, or was this it? If she didn’t, would she lose him?

“I’m starting to put you back together,” he kissed her jaw line up to her ear. She groaned.

“It’s impossible.”

“Let me be the judge of that.” George worried that this fiancé coming back into her life would be the end of them, if there was a them. “By the way, I’ve had the best view of your runs the last few months. You are very ritualistic. I could tell time by your visit to the dog park with Cooper on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

“Oh you liked the view, huh?” Her phone went off again, like it had been every five minutes since she went on her run.

They were all from Patrick.

Where are you?

We need to talk?

Have you talked to Jamie?

El... come on

You are not at home, where are you?

Are you okay?

FUCK reply to my texts please.

She scrolled through her texts and things clicked into place. Who had told her about Jamie? Who had driven her to the closed casket funeral? Who had been in her life everyday making sure she was okay since he “died?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” All the things that had happened in the last few hours hit her like a ton of bricks and that crack that she worried about all those years started. Stella took in a deep breath, dropping her phone. The one person that she’d trusted more than anyone had been lying to her for four years. This threatened to end the sanity she was struggling to maintain.

“What is it?” He leaned in to see the plethora of texts from Patrick.

“Patrick knew all along that Jamie was alive. That MOTHERFUCKER.” Rage filled her mind, made her see red, actually see red. She flew up and grabbed Cooper’s leash. “I gotta run.”

George grabbed her arm, “I’ll run with you.”

“No.” She pushed past him and he pushed her against the wall.

“Yes.” He looked into her heartbroken eyes, “I’m going with you.”

They ran the three miles back to her house in silence, Cooper leading the way. When they walked through the door Patrick was pacing through the kitchen, livid. He ran to her throwing his arms around her. “Are you okay?”

She shoved him back, “Am I okay?” she asked incredulously. “Really, Patrick? That’s what you’re going with?” George took Cooper and released him from his leash. Cooper stood in between Stella and Patrick, looking confused. “You’ve been lying to me for years and have the fucking gall to ask me if I’m okay? I can’t even start to tell you how un-okay I am.”

“El, I’m sorry. I...” Patrick looked down at his hands. “I umm...”

“You at a loss for words, huh?” She pushed past him. “Listen, I’m leaving for awhile, okay. Don’t worry about me, I don’t need your ass. I’m going to pack my shit and Cooper and I’ll be outta here. I’ll get the rest of my shit later.”

“Don’t do that, El.” Patrick reached for her again, “Don’t leave like this.”

Sidestepping his arm she yelled, “Guess what Patrick? Fuck you. You don’t get to tell me what to do.” She stomped down the stairs and a stunned Cooper looked to Patrick and then George and followed her down the stairs. “George,” she called from the stairs. “Grab Cooper’s food and put in my car, please.”

George moved toward the cabinet where they kept the dog food. Patrick looked like he was about to cry. “Give her some time man.”