Caden's Dilemma (Indiscreet #6) (13 page)

“Please kiss me, Sir.”

“That’s it, baby, ask for what you want. You won’t always get it but I want you to ask.” Caden’s breath hitched on his last statement.

§ § §

Caden wanted to shout,
Mine, mine
to the rooftops. He kissed the boy beneath him with every ounce of love—
love, yes love—
in his soul. His body moved faster, slamming Johnny into the mattress.

He shouted, “Now,” and Johnny coated his stomach and chest with his cum. Caden made two more thrusts and then he finished, collapsing on Johnny’s chest.

Caden kissed Johnny senseless. Johnny’s eyes were heavy-lidded and his lips swollen. His face was chafed with burn from Caden’s five o’clock shadow. Caden looked at his baby’s cheeks. He should have shaved. He rose up from the bed and gave Johnny a light kiss while he took up the second towel and wiped them both down.

Johnny murmured, “Please don’t leave me.” There was a note of desperation in Johnny’s voice that Caden didn’t understand.

“Stay put. I’ll be right back, baby, I promise.” Caden went into the bathroom with the towel and put it in the hamper after washing himself off. He retrieved a fresh hand towel and wet a washcloth, wrung it in the sink and strode back into the bedroom. Caden sat on the bed next to Johnny’s prone body and cleaned around his chest and cock.

“Caden, I need to tell you…” Caden leaned over and shifted himself onto the bed pulling Johnny into his arms.

“Shush, baby, anything that needs to be said can be said in the morning.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Thursday

Johnny woke early and lay still, held closely in the circle of his lover’s arms. He wondered how to tell Caden about the money. The longer he waited, the worse it would be. But he had lost his courage. He didn’t want to lose him so fast. If he waited, maybe he could have Caden a little longer before he found out about Adroit and left him.

He watched as Caden opened his green eyes and stretched like a sleepy lion with his golden hair just beginning to grow out from his service crew cut. Johnny looked at the clock. “We better get moving, Sir, if you want to be at the club by nine.”

“You’re right, baby, but first I want to give you something. We don’t know each other well enough yet for me to give you a contract and a collar, but…” Caden reached into the nightstand. “I’d like us to be exclusive until we do. These are my dog tags. Will you wear them for me so no one thinks they can poach, just because you’re not wearing my collar?”

Oh God, I have to tell him…right now.
“Caden, I need…” Johnny had a hard time getting the words out.

“Baby, I know you need more time. I’ve watched you for six months. You are very cautious and deliberate, just like I am. I’ll give you all the time you feel is necessary. I just have to know that you won’t be seeing anyone else while we explore this thing between us. I’m not asking to be your Master, yet, although I’d like to continue to do scenes with you. I only want your reassurance that you take this as seriously as I do.” Caden kissed Johnny with the tenderness of a long time lover.

Johnny couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell him yet. He’d have to talk to the others and ask for help. He whispered, “I’d be proud to wear your tags.”
I’ll wear them even if I only get to wear them for a short time. For a short time I’ll know that someone sees me and not my dollars, for good or for bad.

Caden slipped the tags over Johnny’s head and kissed him with a depth of passion and tenderness he had never known before. “Can I see you Friday, baby?”

“I’ll be here Friday for you, Caden.”
And any other night you choose.

§ § §

Caden and Johnny pulled into Indiscreet’s parking lot at ten minutes to nine, and Jim met them at the door. “There’s been a change in plans, hon. Junior is coming and taking us all over to Jamie’s. You and Brian can go shopping from there.”

Johnny watched as Caden looked at Jim strangely.
I wonder how he’d look at me if he knew.

Caden gave Johnny a light kiss and bounded up the stairs to his office. Johnny whispered to Jim, “I thought we were going to my house.”

“We are,” Jim answered, “but he can’t know that or else he might decide to come along with us out of curiosity.”

“Okay. When are we leaving? I should call Mrs. Mills and tell her to expect company.”

“As soon as Brian and Jamie get here. Give me your address so I can text it to Greg. Greg has to get an okay from Cisco. The story is we’re having brunch at Jamie’s house then going to Quakerbridge. I hope there is something you need because he’ll surely ask what you got.”

“I want to buy something for him, something small but personal. If Junior drives us over, will he tell about the house?” Johnny was anxious about his lies of omission to Caden, and to make Junior lie for him was untenable.

Brian popped in at the end of the conversation. “Papa Bear doesn’t ask Junior questions anymore. Junior stays out in the car and feigns ignorance. We feed him and give him a thermos of coffee and he’s fine.”

“He never gets in trouble for hanging out with us,” Jamie said.

“He can hang out with Aubrey, my driver, while he waits.” Johnny frowned. “At least he’ll be inside and warm.”

“That will be fine. Since Junior has a place to hang out, maybe we’ll alternate the meetings from my place to yours every other week. This way Junior won’t have to wait in the car.” Jim went to snag some Kona coffee from the urn and put it in the thermos Brian brought.

“Doesn’t it pollute the air when Junior waits outside?” Johnny asked. Brian shook his head.

“I worried about that initially but Bear custom ordered the limousine. It’s a hybrid. Junior drives around while he waits or in good weather he naps outside. As long as we give Junior a thermos of Kona and something sweet, he’ll be fine.”

“I’ll call Mrs. Mills and make sure she has something. Is Danny coming?”

“He’s right outside calling Gary. Let’s go, Greg said he’d meet us because he doesn’t have appointments until two.”

§ § §

Mrs. Mills made them banana and date nut bread. The boys gathered in Johnny’s spacious kitchen. “I hope we didn’t put you out, Mrs. Mills.” Johnny kissed the elder woman’s cheek.

“No, dear, it’s nice that you have new friends. You’re alone too much. I know you go to that club of yours, but you need to see people outside of that environment.”

“All of my friends here are from the club, Mrs. Mills. They’re all subs like me. Greg is a doctor.” Greg put out his hand and Mrs. Mills took it gracefully.

“Jamie is a CPA.” Jamie acknowledged Mrs. Mills with a wave.

“Brian is an investment counselor.” Brian stood up and walked over to give her a kiss.

“Jim runs the back of the house at the club.” Jim gave her a hug.

“And Danny is going to school for horticulture. Danny is also Caden’s brother.” Johnny blushed.

“Isn’t Caden the one you like?” Mrs. Mills sliced up the cake.

“Yes, Mrs. Mills.” Johnny blushed again, even redder this time.“I didn’t know you listened when I babble,” Johnny said to the short grey-haired lady that kept his life from whirling out of control.

“I always listen, dear. Now I’ll go out to Aubrey’s and sit with him, Ellen, Henry and your friend, Junior. We’ll have our own gossip session.” Mrs. Mills winked at the assembled subs, put on her coat and walked across the breezeway to one of the other two houses on the property.

“Who’s Henry?” Jamie asked.

“He’s Aubrey and Ellen’s grandson. They have him because his parents died. I have tea.” Johnny held up the berry blossom tea from Teavana.

“I love that stuff,” Jamie said. “This is a special treat.”

“Jamie won’t buy it because it’s too expensive and they are supposed to be saving money to invest with Jake Cohen’s guy,” Brian told them. “Oh, you have a big Blue Hall teapot. It’s beautiful.”

“Please don’t think Bull is cheap. If I wanted the tea, he would make sure I had it, but Bull wants us to be able to retire early with enough to keep us living well, so I save where I can.” Jamie gave Brian a dirty look. “He paid so much for me at the auction, it practically wiped him out.”

“Hey Jamie, lighten up. I know Bull’s not cheap. Look at the collar he bought for you.” Jamie preened.

Johnny carefully prepared the tea the way he saw Jim do it on Tuesday.

“I see you paid attention,” Jim said. “It took these knuckleheads weeks to learn to make tea properly.” Mrs. Mills had put out the cake, plates and cups.

“When you write software, you have to be detail-oriented. No one likes software filled with bugs. It’s better to get it right the first time.” Johnny poured the tea and sat down.

“So what’s the problem, hon?” Jim asked putting his hand on top of Johnny’s.

“I love him,” and with that Johnny started to sniffle.

“Does he love you back?” Danny asked immediately.

“He gave me these.” Johnny took his hand away from Jim’s and put it under his shirt bringing out the dog tags.

“He loves you,” Danny told him with an air of finality.

“But he doesn’t know about the money.” Johnny moaned as he took a sip of tea.

“Then tell him…this banana bread is wonderful. Can you ask Mrs. Mills to give me the recipe? Cisco will love it.” Greg wolfed down his piece.

“What if I tell him and he doesn’t want to see me anymore?” Tears flowed down Johnny’s face.

“Then we’ll all have to work to make him see reason,” Jim said as he sipped his tea. “It isn’t as if you blatantly lied to him. No one knew but Reed, and now us. I think we can make him see you were only trying to protect yourself from fortune hunters, or even worse, a Dom who ran the other way because of the money and didn’t take the time to get to know you.”

“I think Jim is right. You had to protect yourself. Cisco didn’t tell anyone about his money until he collared me. Sometimes it pays to be suspicious. Remind me to tell you what happened to Cisco when he was younger because of his parent’s money.” Greg sliced himself a piece of the date nut bread.

“Danny, what do you think? You know him best.”

Danny was nervously fiddling with his napkin. “He’s going to be mad. You should have seen him when Gary offered to give him the down payment for his car. The only reason he finally took it was because in Afghanistan he promised himself that he would buy himself a membership in the club. He says that’s what got him through that last deployment in one piece.”

Johnny didn’t know about one piece.
I wonder if Danny knows about the rather large wound on Caden’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should give him a little more time before you tell him. Sort of gradually work up to it. He knows Aubrey picks you up, doesn’t he?” Brian took another slice of cake. “This really is good. You’re going to have to get Mrs. Mills to give all of us the recipe. I can’t cook but I can give it to Mrs. Santorre.”

“But isn’t it lying now, not to tell him, I mean? What if he finds out from someone else?” The slice of cake sat on Johnny’s plate. As good as it was, he didn’t feel like eating.

Greg put down his teacup. “You have to weigh the risks against the rewards. You take a chance either way. But if he knows you first, it will be harder for him to let you go.”

“I agree,” Danny said. “Caden is pigheaded. Look how long it took for him to give up the idea of being a cop. I knew that his temperament wasn’t suited to that job. He took orders from some pretty huge assholes in the army. I knew he wouldn’t want to repeat the experience, but he didn’t listen to Gary and me until after he finished his training and Tom Martino told him how long it would take to make a living wage.” He held up his cup and Johnny poured more tea.

“I’d like to be able to give the money away if he asked me to do it, but I have people who depend on me for their living. Aubrey has a wife and a grandchild that lives with him who has cystic fibrosis. I pay for their health insurance. There is also Mrs. Mills. She’s been with me since I was a little kid and my parents hired her to take care of me. My father died when I was ten, of a heart attack, and my mother couldn’t handle it. She let Mrs. Mills control the household and took to her bed.” Johnny sighed.

“She probably would have been diagnosed with major depression had she gone to the doctor,” Greg said.

“Is she still alive?” Danny asked.

“No, she died when I was thirteen, just before I went to college. She gave up before I had the chance to write the software. I think she died of a broken heart. Mrs. Mills stayed with me. We lived on my mother’s trust fund and social security. There was just enough to pay for college and living expenses. Mrs. Mills hired Aubrey to drive me to and from school. Paying for Aubrey was cheaper than living in the dorms. Then I invented the software and money was no longer tight. But at sixteen, I didn’t know how to run a company.

“Mrs. Mills and I hired Harvey Thomas. He runs the company, I just write the software. I own a controlling interest and he keeps trying to get me to go back to work. I do some work out of the house but I’ve been working full out since I was thirteen. I hired good software engineers to replace me. He doesn’t need me there.” Johnny used his napkin to wipe his face.“I want Caden, but I can’t do the charitable work and care for Mrs. Mills and Aubrey’s family if I give it all away. I’d give them a pension but both of them claim they’d be bored if they weren’t working and then they’d have nowhere to live. I think it’s because they worry about me. They’re my family.”

“You’re probably right.” Greg had another piece of banana bread.

Jim smacked his hand. “Leave some for the rest of us.”

Greg shot Jim a look. “Someone is bitchy today. Anyway, Aubrey and Mrs. Mills see themselves
en loco parentis
and won’t leave until they think you’re settled.”

“Mrs. Mills did help me become an emancipated youth after Mom died. I went to Monmouth College at thirteen, and finished my masters by the time I was sixteen. The software was for my Master’s thesis and then it took off when my faculty advisor showed it to a venture capitalist. We stayed in this house. It was part of my grandparents’ estate. Aubrey handles all the maintenance. He hires the contractors. I tend to get ripped off. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not a child. I’m just inept at everyday living. I’ve been a nerd for so long, I’m oblivious to everything else. I need someone to teach me how to live.” Johnny sighed in exasperation.