Calming the Rush of Panic (14 page)

This next mindful meditation will help you pause, observe/ experience, and allow in order to step back and watch your mind and body. With regular practice, you will learn how to live with more balance and ease wherever you go and no matter how severe your panicky thoughts are.

1. Depending on where you are during your panic attack, take this mindful moment to find a place to sit down or stand with comfort. Don’t worry about feeling self-conscious during this exercise if other people are around. They will not notice what you are doing.
   
2. In this moment of pause, take a few belly breaths, summoning air into your body, feeling your rib cage open and your belly expand on the inhale and completely releasing the air from your body on the exhale, feeling your chest and belly gently collapse.
   
3. Set your intentions for this practice. You may say aloud or to yourself:
   May this practice teach me that I am my own resource for healing. May it help me cultivate greater balance and ease in my mind and body.
   
4. Check in with yourself and notice what’s going on for you. What thoughts are popping up?
   
5. Observe and experience as a matter of fact each thought. You may be thinking:
   This keeps happening to me. I can’t go anywhere without my panic attacks flaring up. Soon, there will be no place I can go where I feel safe.
   
6. Remember to breathe and reconnect with the present moment.
   
7. Allow and acknowledge whatever comes to mind and let it be. Take this moment to let your fears and panicky thoughts be, and just step back and watch. Allow your thoughts to focus on what you are doing now or where you are now, as if you were a filmmaker watching and observing his or her final project. You are taking in the script, the details of your life, and the cinematography. There are highs and lows, intense and subdued parts—a constant changing of various worrisome and anxious thoughts, coming and going.
   
8. You may notice a tendency to get stuck sorting through thoughts from the past or the future. If you find yourself anticipating distress, calculating your escape, checking your watch obsessively, or thinking about past mistakes or “failures,” your anxious thoughts will intensify. When this happens, try to stay in the now, and your panicky thoughts will settle down. Do what you can to return your focus to your immediate surroundings and your breath. You may notice people having a conversation nearby, or the texture of the carpet, or the colors in a poster.
   
9. Tell yourself:
   I am staying in the here and now. My feet are on the floor. My thoughts live inside my mind. My mind lives inside my body. I will deal with whatever comes up when it occurs and when that time comes.
   

The power of letting be is in your growing awareness of the impermanence of all that is—every fear, every thought, every sensation. Everything is in motion. Like the programs on TV in which eventually there is a break for commercials, gradually your panic will take a break and disappear. And in this awareness you will find the greatest relief and calm from your panic.

Cope with Your Fear of Illness

We call them the “what ifs.” If you’re experiencing a fear of illness, your panicky thoughts might sound like this:
What if I get sick? What if I forget my medicine? What if the pharmacy is out of my prescription? What if I never feel well again?
“What if” thinking is common, and yet it’s scary and disturbing because these things might just happen. Unfortunately, future thinking is a mind trap, because there’s always something bad that could happen—your mind can always find something to worry about. Combine “what if” thinking with a fear of being seriously sick and you may find your anxious thoughts reeling out of control. You may have already called your doctor and scheduled an appointment.

The following mindful practice—a version of “Pause, Observe/Experience, and Allow”—is easy to do anywhere. It will help you calm the rush of panic and loosen the grip of those nagging and incessant “what if” thoughts. Try it now.

1. Take this moment to pause and put everything on hold for just a brief moment. Take several breaths in and out during this pause. Remember to return to your breathing every time you start to drift away from the present moment.
   
2. Observe and experience any and all thoughts, feelings, and sensations that are taking place right now. If you are being overrun by “what if” thinking, simply notice that your thoughts are just thoughts and that they’re constantly changing like the weather. For example, you may think:
   What if my child gets exposed to the flu bug that
   ’
   s going around? Maybe I should take more vitamin C today. What if I’m all out of vitamin C?
   Thoughts eventually dissolve and are followed by more thoughts, which also eventually dissolve.
   
3. You may notice some doubt arise during this practice. Doubt is a normal challenge that tries to convince you that a practice can’t help you or that it won’t work because the panic is too strong. When you hear this voice of doubt, simply be aware of it and acknowledge it just like the other thoughts and feelings that you have. Consider introducing yourself to your doubt. You might say silently:
   Hello, Mr. Doubt. I see you over there, shaking your head with skepticism and suspicion. You’re just a thought I have occasionally. You’ll move along in time.
   
4. Take this next moment to follow your breathing, in and out. Each breath holds the doorway to being more present and aware of right here and now.
   
5. After you have observed and acknowledged your experience, allow your thoughts to flow in and flow out, without reacting. Notice the scary thoughts and let them be. Resist the urge to label them “good” or “bad.” You might just say silently:
   Come on in if you like—it doesn’t matter to me. You’re just thoughts. I won’t take it personally if you’re here.
   Let all thoughts announce themselves and be here. There’s no need to run away because you see them for what they truly are: thoughts that can’t harm you. In fact, many panicky thoughts won’t be around once you recover from this difficult moment.
   

The best way to alleviate intrusive “what if” thinking around your fears of serious illness is to simply allow them their space by not trying to force them to go away. All thoughts and fears eventually follow their own path, coming and going as they please. May you move gently through your day with a peaceful mind.

Dissipate All-Consuming Thoughts

Have you ever felt stuck in a habitual or repetitive thought or set of thoughts? You might be fixated on something in the past or future. Your mind goes around and around, like a hamster on a treadmill, caged by these all-consuming thoughts. A woman who lives with having panic attacks regularly shared a reoccurring thought that she has: “
If I think about my feelings and how scared I am right now, it will never end. It’s dangerous to dwell on my fears because I will always be scared about everything. I try endlessly to stop myself from thinking about my fears, but all I can think about are my endless fears.”
It’s hard to get off the wheel. You may find yourself spinning through a thought for a few seconds, and then after a few minutes you’re recycling the exact same thought as before. Round and round you go again, with no exit strategy in sight.

Since you cannot determine when a panic attack will erupt, let’s imagine that you’re at home or at work. The following meditation requires being seated. You will want to find a quiet, comfortable place to begin this next meditation. You should be seated upright on a cushion or chair where you can be alert and feel supported. A quiet environment, where you will not be distracted or interrupted, is ideal. Remember to turn off electronic devices that might disturb your meditation.

Take this brief moment to acknowledge and congratulate yourself for taking quality time to meditate and be present.

Begin with paying attention to your breathing. Become aware of the ebb and flow of each breath, in and out. Notice the natural rhythm and pace of your breathing. You may notice the cooler air being retrieved through your mouth and nose, down into the lungs and belly, filling your whole body with life. Next, notice the warmer air being released out through the mouth or nose, leaving the belly, lungs, and throat, loosening your whole body, head to toe.

Gently shift your focus to any physical sensations in your body. Bringing awareness into your body and being mindful of any and all subtle or distinct sensations emanating inside or outside in this unfolding moment. Notice your breathing and how that feels. Notice any itches, aches, stiffness, warmth, dampness, or other sensations. Notice the changing of sensations, coming and going, occurring and disappearing.

Be mindful now of any sounds that arise in your meditation. As you open your awareness to the world of sounds happening around you, listen carefully to the changes in the sounds—a bus roars by and quiets, a refrigerator clinks as it makes more ice and then stops, a phone rings in your neighbor’s apartment and then goes quiet. Notice how sounds rise and then fade. Sounds come and go of their own accord, like the waves of an ocean. Everything is moving with the natural flow of life, just like your breathing.

Leaving the sounds behind, take this mindful moment to observe and experience whatever thoughts and feelings come up for you at this time. You may experience chronic and reoccurring worries, such as:
I’m really terrified that I won’t pass my driver’s test. I’m terrible at taking tests because I always freeze and forget everything under pressure. How will I ever get to work again? I have to pass this test, or I won’t be able to get to work and then I’ll lose my job. I’m scared of taking tests because my mind goes blank. I’ll lose everything if I don’t pass this test.
You may have experienced similar upsetting and all-consuming thoughts when you are feeling panicked.

Take this moment now to bear witness to your chronic and never-ending thoughts. Just watching and experiencing your thoughts and feelings like the movement of fish in a stream, passing by, swimming about, and then moving on down with the current. Your thoughts and feelings are just passing schools of fish, here now and then gone again. Notice that no one is actually controlling these panicky thoughts and feelings—they just occur and then vanish. They’re just states of mind, flowing along like the stream, carrying a variety of sensations and experiences, memories and repetitious thoughts, always changing and moving. Remember to tune in to your breathing as often as you like, joining with this moment of now.

You may experience times when your mind wants to wander and lose track of your practice. Your mind is very busy and has a tendency to trail off. Suddenly you remember a phone call you need to make or an appointment that you need to double check the time for. When this happens, simply return to your breathing and acknowledge that your mind is wandering right now. The moment you realize that you’re not present, you are.

The final step in your meditation is choiceless awareness. Become conscious of whatever thoughts and feelings are predominantly surfacing for you in the present moment. Just watching, witnessing, and experiencing all the passing thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Begin to notice the moment-by-moment changing experience of your mind and body. You are surrounded by the ever-changing nature of life. You are learning to ride the waves of your panic. You will come to learn that your repetitious and panicky thoughts don’t last forever and that they gradually fade away. You are becoming aware that your thoughts are just part of the current of life, a passing state of mind and not the whole picture of who you are and what your life is about.

May each breath help you relax and quiet your mind. May each moment greet you with serenity.

Calm Your Fear of Being Alone

Despite technology that allows instant communication over long distances and a growing list of “cyberfriends” through your online social networks, you may still feel terribly alone. When a fear of aloneness triggers feelings of panic, agonizing thoughts might start spinning in your mind like a scratched CD that keeps repeating the same lyrics. You might replay an argument that you had with your partner or friend. Or you might retrace past mistakes, determined to find the cause for why you feel so desperately alone and why no one can help you. Ruminating conjures negative thinking, in a self-perpetuating cycle. You may overthink and obsess about past situations or bad feelings to the point that you’re unable to push past the cycle of negative thoughts.

When your panic and fears of being alone hold you hostage with repetitive thoughts, leaving you feeling insecure, anxious, and possibly depressed, steal a few minutes from your day for the following version of “Pause, Observe/Experience, and Allow.” No time like the present to get immediate help to slacken the grip of obsessive, negative thoughts.

You can do this practice sitting or standing, as long as you’re comfortable and fully alert.

1. Pause by bringing your attention to your breath. On the inhale, be aware of how your breath feels rushing into your body. On the exhale, notice how your breath feels escaping your body. Air in, air out. Follow your breath for about a minute.
   
2. Observe and experience every little detail of what is coming up in your mind and body. Notice where you might be experiencing tension in your body. Are you holding stress or tightness in your jaw, shoulders, or back? Are you fighting to hold back tears? Notice what emotions are circling in your mind. Are you feeling disconnected, lonely, or unfulfilled? What thoughts are circulating in your brain? Each thought is like a tiny spark zipping about randomly in your brain. Some thoughts keep recirculating, and others vanish.
   
3. During this practice, you may experience an urge to judge and place a value on your thoughts and feelings. The soundtrack of a judgmental mind might say:
   This is bad. That is good. This is fair. That is unfair. This is stupid. That is great.
   These judgments can trigger intense emotions while intensifying your panic, making it harder for you to be present. When this happens, simply direct your attention back to your breath and refocus on your thoughts. Notice how thoughts cross your mind like clouds floating in the sky or brief electrical impulses darting around your brain, always moving and disappearing. Allow the judgment to float by.
   
4. Continue to observe whatever thoughts and feelings arise and allow them to just be what they are, observable parts of your mind and body. Allow all thoughts to drift on by, transient and fleeting, constantly moving, shifting and drifting.