Can't Let Go - A Contemporary BWWM Romance (9 page)

He
chuckled. “Well, if you want to put it that way, sure. It’s not fluffy at all.”

We
finished our meals and he paid the tab. We exited Lessandro’s to find the night
air to be unusually warm for February.

“Early
spring this year?” I asked. “It’s so nice out.”

The
sky was crystal clear and lit with a billion twinkling stars. The night
couldn’t have been any more perfect than it already was. I hoped and prayed he
wouldn’t just take me straight home. I didn’t want our time together to end any
earlier than it had to.

“Want
to walk for a bit?” he asked.

I
remembered my painfully beautiful, yet perfect shoes that I just had to wear
that night.

“Sure,”
I said. When it came down to ending the night early or mending swollen,
blistered feet the next day, I chose the latter.

We
strolled leisurely up and down the street that housed Lessandro’s and a myriad
of other mom and
pop shops
. The streets were almost
vacant aside from a few other young couples
who
knew
about that hidden gem of a neighborhood. At times it was just
us
and no one else. It was like we had the whole world to
ourselves.

He
grabbed my hand about halfway into our walk and he pulled me closer. His hands
were soft, not calloused like most guys’ hands. The second I moved closer into
his space, I could smell the cologne radiating off his warm body. It was
different from the time before, and I never wanted to forget that scent.

“We
should probably head out,” he said as he looked at his watch a short time
later. “I’ve had a long week and I am beat.”

“Yeah,”
I said as I tried to hide the insane amount of disappointment coursing through
me. “Me too.”

I
wasn’t tired at all. I was
wide awake
. I wanted to
hang out with him all night. But I had to play it cool.

He
dropped me off at my apartment and walked me to my door like the old-fashioned
gentleman he had shown himself to be.

Standing
at my door, he locked his chocolate brown eyes onto mine and leaned in for a
peck on the lips. It was the sweetest, most innocent kiss I’d ever received.

“I’d
like to see you again,” he said.

“Me
too,” I replied with a smile. I decided to leave it at that.

I
slipped my key into the door and entered my quiet apartment. The second I shut
it behind me, I spun around to watch him through the peephole, but he was
already gone. I lingered for a bit, hoping that maybe he’d come in and ask for
a nightcap or something. But he never did.

I
kicked off my shoes and my feet ached against the naked air of the apartment. I
could feel the blisters on my heels start to burn, but it was all worth it. I’d
do it again and again if I had to.

My
alarm went off around seven o’clock Saturday morning. I’d completely forgotten
to shut it off in preparation for the weekend.

“Ugh,”
I groaned. I reached over and slammed the snooze button just to get it to shut
the hell up. Then I clicked it off and tried to go back to sleep. Saturdays
were for sleeping in. I’d be damned if I let a little annoying buzzer prevent
that from happening.

I
had barely dozed off when I heard another buzz coming from my nightstand.

“I
thought I turned you off,” I whined as I reached over and hit my snooze button
again, but the buzzing didn’t stop. It wasn’t my alarm clock. It was my phone.

I
reached over to grab it, and through blurry morning eyes, I tried to make out
the text message displayed across the screen.

WHAT
ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

It
was from Kevin. I rubbed my eyes to get them to focus a little better and
immediately started typing a response.

Wait,
I thought.
I should wait. Don’t respond right away.

I
took a few deep breaths, now fully awake, and climbed out of bed. I made myself
brush my teeth and wash my face. I took my time. Every second counted. I felt
giddy at the fact that he wanted to hang out again and so soon at that. After a
solid ten minutes or so, I began formulating a response.

NOT
MUCH.

I
sounded so lame, but I really didn’t care. I wasn’t going to pretend like I was
doing something and miss the chance to hang out with him.

WANT
TO COME OVER LATER?

He
replied within seconds. I waited a minute or two before replying with a simple,
“Sure.”

COME
OVER AROUND NOON.

The next five hours were going to be tortuous
,
I just knew it
.
I couldn’t help but scratch my head at why he was texting
me
so early and why he’d want me to come hang out when he was on call
. I
was sure he had his reasons, though, and I decided not to pry. The only thing
that mattered was that he wanted to hang out with me.

I
padded down the hall in search of LaLa, but the apartment was silent.
She was usually an early riser
,
always up
before me
. If she wasn’t up yet, it probably meant she wasn’t home. I
could only assume she stayed the night at Demarius’s place again.

I
couldn’t text Amaya. She was probably out all night DJing. She tended to sleep
in until at least noon or one on the weekends. I’d learned that the hard way
when I went out with her one night and we ended up crashing at her friend’s
place. She was my ride, and I had to wait for her to wake up to take me home
since I didn’t have enough cash for a cab. I never made that mistake again.

I
decided to go for a quick jog around the neighborhood to clear my mind and
prepare myself for the day. I was already on cloud nine, but I knew a few extra
endorphins circulating through me would be the icing in the cake. I slipped on
my black runner’s tights, hot pink tank top, and obnoxiously bright neon shoes
and hit the pavement.

I
wasn’t an avid runner by any means, but sometimes a quick mile or two was all I
needed to get that runner’s high.

I
came back after about fifteen minutes and busted out a few squats and crunches.
New relationships always made me want to suddenly pretend that I gave a damn
about working out. The truth was I hated sweating.

I
wiped the sweat off my brow and munched on a juicy red apple before polishing
off a bottle of water and hitting the shower. LaLa must have gone grocery
shopping that week, and for that I was grateful.

Taking
my time getting ready the rest of the morning, I couldn’t help but check my
phone in regular intervals just in case Kevin had decided to call and cancel on
me. I kept thinking the rug was going to be pulled out at any moment. He seemed
too good to be true. Guys like him didn’t chase girls like me. It was usually
the other way around.

That
day, I decided to go casual. I wrapped my long, dark hair up into a top knot,
wore minimal makeup, and pulled on a tight pair of skinny jeans and a faded
jersey t-shirt. I was going more for girl-next-door. I wanted him to feel like
I was the girl he could just chill with on the weekends.

By
11:30, I’d made my way outside and was walking towards his place. It was only
about a mile away, which was nice. The weather was perfect thanks to the
unusually warm February we were having.

Spring
was just around the corner, and it was my absolute favorite season. It was all
flowers, chirping birds and new beginnings. But it was also going to be Antoine
and Ayla’s wedding.

I’d
managed to go another day without thinking too much about him, but sometimes I
just couldn’t help it. He’d creep into the corners of my mind when I least
expected
it.Antoine

I
thought about how once he was married, that would be the end of us for sure. I
knew I’d been the one to end things, and poorly at that, but I always sort of
thought of Antoine as my fallback guy. If it didn’t work out with anyone else,
I could always go back to him. I never in a million years dreamed that he’d move
on so fast and with someone I couldn’t even compete with.

Before
I knew it, I was standing in front of Kevin’s building. I hadn’t even thought
about the fact that I might run into Antoine or Ayla. My palms began to sweat a
little and my heart raced. The last thing I wanted was for Antoine to think I
was stalking him.

I
took a good look around to make sure neither of them
were
in sight. Then I gripped the banister and climbed the stairs towards the front
door. I yanked it open and was immediately greeted with a burst of warm air
from the empty hallway.

“Phew,”
I said to myself once I realized the coast was clear. There was no sign of
Antoine or Ayla anywhere.

I
knocked on Kevin’s door and waited. And waited. And waited. I knocked again. I
hoped he hadn’t forgotten about me. I was going to be both pissed and
embarrassed if that was the case. Maybe he’d gotten called into work and forgot
to cancel our plans?

I
could feel my heartbeat quicken at the thought of being stood up. If I had to
walk away alone like some loser and happened to run into Antoine, I’d be
mortified.

“Hey!”
Kevin said as the door burst open. He startled me.

“Hi,”
I said with a sweet smile as I walked in.

The
place looked spotless, and I could smell a scented candle burning somewhere. It
smelled like vanilla and musk, perfect for a guy’s place.

Kevin
was wearing a navy blue college hoodie and a pair of straight leg, pale denim
jeans. His dark hair was free of any product. He looked just as casual as I
did, thank goodness.

I
glanced over towards the living room where a college basketball game was
playing quietly.

“Wanna
sit down?” he asked as he motioned towards his couch.

I
kicked off my shoes and followed him to the living room, taking my place next
to him but keeping a safe distance. I didn’t want him to think I was being too
girlfriend-y just yet.

“Sorry
I had to cut our date night short,” he said. “Ended up getting called in last
night, just as I thought I would.”

“I
completely understand,” I said with a shrug. “Work comes first.”

He
smiled, lighting up his entire face, and I about melted. I wanted to kiss him
so badly. I wanted to jump him right then and there, but I stayed frozen and
firmly planted in my space. I knew
were weren’t
there
yet.

“Are
you on call today?” I asked.

“I
got someone to switch with me,” he said. “A guy at work owed me a favor.”

“How
nice,” I said. I wondered if he did it because he wanted to spend more time
with me.

“Do
you like college basketball?” he asked.

“Um,
it’s okay,” I said. So that’s what it was about. He wanted to watch basketball
games all weekend. I dared not tell him that I loathed sports. I’d never really
gotten into them, and watching them on T.V. was pure torture to me.

The
only times I’d ever enjoyed watching sports was when I had to accompany my
parents to one of Preston or Alston’s games. I could get into it when I knew
the players. I probably couldn’t name a single current college athlete to save
my life.

“It’s
okay if you don’t,” he said with a chuckle. He was particularly perceptive that
day.

I
sat, bored out of my mind, and tried my hardest to pay attention to the game.
My mind would wander every so often, and I couldn’t help but think about what
Antoine and Ayla were doing that Saturday.

When
I dated Antoine, Saturdays were spent either hiking or riding our bikes or
laying around in our sweats reading good books. We were inseparable, and he was
always up for whatever. He wasn’t a sports nut, so our activities never had to
revolve around which games were on. I missed that.

“So
do you see Ayla Giovanni much?” I asked without thinking. I couldn’t help
myself. They were at the forefront of my mind in that moment and knowing that
they were neighbors, the question didn’t seem too out of line.