Can't Stop the Shine (20 page)

“Right, right,” said Kalia. “Well, I hope she starts taking care of herself—you know eating right and stuff.”

“I don't even know if she's going to have it.”

“For real?” Kalia sat down on the bed next to Mari. “I hadn't even thought about that. Wow.”

“I guess I just gotta be there for her.”

“Yep. That's what friends do.”

Later on that evening, Mari got another frantic phone call from Colby. She was at the bus station, and it was midnight.

“Girl, your grandparents have probably put an APB out on you. I'm surprised they haven't called me yet,” said Mari.

“I don't think they have your phone number.” Colby sniffed. “They don't have any of my friends' numbers.”

“So what are you doing at the bus station?”

Colby detailed her whole plan—how she was going to catch the bus to her cousin's place in Memphis, so she could decide what to do. She just couldn't bear being in the house with her grandparents in her condition. Every time they came around, she said she felt like a big sinner.

“But your grandparents love you. They'll understand,” said Mari hopefully. “Look, I'll go with you when you tell them if you want me to.”

“You will?”

“Of course. Now, what about Sean?”

“I haven't talked to Sean in a week or so. I can't talk to him right now.”

“He does know, doesn't he?”

“He knows something is wrong with me, but not what. I know I've been acting a little crazy lately,” she said. Her voice was thin, like she was far away. The weakness in her voice made Mari speak more calmly.

“So is that what's really going on here? That you don't want to tell him?” she asked.

“I guess.”

“Don't you think he deserves to know?”

“I guess,” Colby repeated.

“Well, whatever you want to do, I'm cool with, but if you were him, wouldn't you want to know?”

“I guess.”

Mari was silent for a minute. She knew they'd hit a brick wall. When Colby started talking again, it was about her relationship with Sean and how she'd never felt the way about a person as she did about him. She talked about the way he held her hand and opened doors for her, the way he told her she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen all the time, the way he kissed her. She told Mari that one day their kissing just wasn't enough for him. She had been so afraid that he'd leave her that she'd decided the only way to keep him from being with another girl was to have sex with him, but after they'd done it, she'd immediately regretted it.

“Well, did you talk to him about it?” Mari asked.

“No. I was too embarrassed,” said Colby.

“Yeah, I can understand that. I guess I'll be nervous my first time.”

“It wasn't that bad really.”

“What do you mean?” asked Mari, trying not to sound too eager.

“Well, you know, it kinda felt good. Good like weird, but good.”

“Oh,” said Mari, not sure exactly what Colby meant.

“So I guess I'll just have it,” said Colby.

“What? What?” said Mari, tuning back to the conversation after drifting off. “You're going to have it?”

“I think so. I hadn't really thought of myself as a baby's mama before this, but I guess that's what I'm gonna be.”

“Okay cool, if that's what you wanna do. As long as you feel like you've thought it through.”

“I have,” said Colby confidently. “I know that I have two more years of school and then I want to go to college, and I'm gonna do it.”

“Okay good. So you're gonna tell Sean, right?”

“Yeah. I guess I will.”

“Good, good. So you need to go home. Call your grandparents first though, okay?” said Mari.

When she hung up the phone, she lay in her bed wide awake, thinking about what it would be like to be a teenage mom. She had seen girls her age in the grocery store or at the bus stop holding a baby on one hip with another toddler by the hand. They just looked tired and frustrated. She made a vow to be there for Colby, whatever she needed. Praying that Sean would take the news well, Mari drifted off to sleep.

Colby told Sean the next day, and Mari's phone was blowing up again. She tried to talk to Colby early in the day, but she was running between classes. Thank God she went to a private school, where cell phones were allowed to be used during the day and nobody bothered you if you were sitting out on a bench on the grounds in the middle of the day. She took the beginning of her free period to talk to Colby, who did a poor job of communicating Sean's reaction to her news. Mari knew he wasn't jumping up and down like he'd won the lottery, but he wasn't entirely upset, Colby told her.

Mari went over to Colby's house the following Saturday and sat in the Greshams' parlor while Colby enlightened them about their coming great-grandchild. She watched Mrs. Gresham's face purse and Mr. Gresham stand up and walk out of the room. She saw no more of Mr. Gresham during that visit. Mrs. Gresham immediately started praying and told the girls that they needed to do the same. After a lengthy set of prayers, Mrs. Gresham got up, told them she was going to prepare dinner and after that they were going to have a scripture reading focusing on Mary, because she thought it was appropriate for the situation.

Mari saw things get better for Colby after everyone important in her life knew. Shauntae nearly flipped when she found out. Colby had already heard around school that Shauntae had been talking about Sean, saying she was going to get with him anyway, and that she didn't care that the dude from Fire was with that “old skinny bitch.”

Colby and Mari stayed on the phone comparing notes about Shauntae. Mari had heard from Kalia that Shauntae was hanging with a group of senior girls who spent more time getting with college guys and dudes who worked at UPS than they did in school. She was probably trying to impress those girls telling them she had a man who worked for Fire, Mari told Colby, who didn't care. Sean was being extremely supportive of Colby. He'd even gone to the obstetrician with her. Everything was fine until Mari had to tell her that Kalia overheard one of the Shauntae's new friends saying that Shauntae had sex with Sean. They were sitting in her room when Colby lost it.

“I just know he didn't…. I know he wouldn't do that to me,” whimpered Colby, sitting on Mari's bed. Mari watched her shoulders shudder as she cried silently.

“Now you know that girl made that mess up,” said Mari. “She just wanted to come between you and Sean. You can't let her.”

“I know, I know. It's just that…”

“What?”

“Well, you know he kinda liked her at first.” Colby blew her nose.

“So? He wouldn't be a guy if he didn't look at her double Ds,” said Mari, rubbing Colby gently on her back. “That doesn't mean he likes her really, or that he got with her.”

There was silence for a minute.

Mari continued, “Sean has been with you for like four whole months now. That's a long time, so he obviously likes you more than her. If he didn't, he wouldn't be going to the doctor with you and spending time with you.”

“I guess.”

“Don't pay that fool Shauntae any attention. Just focus on having a healthy baby, and being worried isn't going to help you.”

“You're right.”

Colby left feeling a little better, but Mari couldn't help but think about how she'd stretched the truth with her friend to cheer her up. She was stressed about Colby's condition and thought maybe some television would distract her. Mari had just gotten into an episode of
ER
when the doorbell rang. To her annoyance it was Dewayne, who she just knew was looking for Kalia.

“She ain't here, bruh,” said Mari, leaning against the open door.

“How do you know I came here to see her?”

“Ha-ha. The Chosen One has chosen to pay me a visit?” she said sarcastically, jogging back down the hall and into the family room. “Umm, hmm…You can come in and wait for Kalia if you want.”

“Whatcha watching?” Dewayne fell onto the couch.

“Shh…it's getting good,” said Mari, punching him in the shoulder.

They watched the last half of
ER,
which turned out to be an episode where a pregnant woman was going into labor in a taxicab. Watching the pregnant woman get help from the black doctor, Mari couldn't help but think about Colby and Sean.

“Hey,” she said as the credits were rolling, “do you have any friends who have ever gotten pregnant?”

Dewayne leaned away from her and looked at her skeptically. “No. I don't think so, do I?”

Mari rolled her eyes. “Number one, we ain't friends. And number two, I ain't pregnant.”

“I wasn't talking about you, but thank God anyway 'cause I would hate to see what type of little monster you'd hatch.”

“Whatever. And it's not Kalia either. You know what? Just forget it,” she said, taking the TV off mute and flipping channels.

Dewayne grabbed the remote from her and hit the mute button.

“So what? You know someone who's pregnant? And…”

“I think the guy might be cheating on her, and I wish I could find out, you know, 'cause you know how y'all are.” Mari tapped Dewayne on his shoulder, thinking he looked different in the half-darkened room, lights from the TV flickering across his face. He didn't move away.

“How are we?” he asked, sliding closer to her.

Whatever was happening, Mari found it strangely exciting. All of a sudden Dewayne leaned back on the sofa and grabbed her to him. His arm ended up around her shoulders and her head leaned into his chest.

“Tell big daddy what the problem is,” he said in a strained, silly voice, patting her on the shoulder.

Not really knowing what to do, Mari told Dewayne all about Colby and what she was going through. He listened intently, not saying anything, just giving her a squeeze every now and then when she seemed especially emotional. As she was spilling the details, Mari wondered why she was telling Dewayne of all people and why on earth she was cuddled up with him on the sofa.

“Everything will be okay.”

“I hope so,” said Mari, nuzzling his chest. She liked his fresh smell. Looking up, she noticed that his hair was combed. She sat up a little and saw that he had on a nice crisp green Polo shirt and some Rocawear jeans, and his kicks were fresh.

“What? Do I look funny or something?” he asked.

“Naw.” She shook her head, cracking a smile. “Actually you look all right today. Who took you shopping? Better yet, who introduced you to an iron?”

Dewayne chuckled. “Oh, you've got jokes now. Don't let me have to get on that parallel parking I saw you trying to do the other day. How many cars did you bump?”

“Aww, now why you gotta go there?” Mari asked.

“Why you gotta talk about me?”

“'Cause I wouldn't be Mariama Jefferson if I didn't.”

“You're right about that,” he said, turning her toward him. They were staring into each other's eyes. “Are you sure you're going to be all right?”

Mari shuddered.
He really cares,
she thought.

“Sure, I'm fine. I'm good.”

“Cool, because you know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better,” he said, bending down to kiss her on her forehead, “you know I will, okay?”

She nodded and put her head back on Dewayne's chest and let him hug her.

It had been almost ten days since Kalia had spoken to Malcolm. She stopped being angry with him for his New Year's Eve performance a few days after it happened. Now she was in full-on game-playing mode, wanting to call him, but refusing to because she wanted to make him come to her. He'd called her once New Year's Day and only one time since then, and neither time did she feel he'd left an apology that was satisfactory enough for her. She'd been holding out now five days since the last time he'd dialed any of her numbers, and she was getting antsy. He hadn't even sent a text message to say “What's up?” Finally, after school one day, she skipped practice and came straight home to dial him up as soon has she got in her room.
Of course he won't answer,
she thought, listening to his voice mail message over Jay-Z's “Song Cry” in the background.

“Leave me a message or call me back, but either way, we'll get up. Peace.”

She hesitated, but then remembered he had caller ID like everyone else.

“Uh, hey, Malcolm. It's Kalia,” she said, wincing at identifying herself to her boyfriend. “I was just calling to say what's up, see how you were doing.” She paused again, searching frantically for something to say that would convey just the right balance of casual concern. “We haven't talked in a while.” She winced again. That sounded desperate. Then it hit her. “I wanted to get with you about this industry chick I met at the New Year's Eve party. She let me in on a few things that, you know, you might help me understand better.”
That's it,
she thought.
Now wrap it up.
“Okay, give me a shout when you get a chance.”
Bye? Or Peace? Bye or peace?
she wondered. “Bye.” Bye was better, she analyzed. Peace would have been too this-is-one-wannabe-industry-person-calling-another instead of I-really-wanna-talk-so-call-me.

While she waited for Malcolm to call, Kalia decided to change into something to wear for later when she and Mari were going to her mother's new studio to help get the place ready for the following week's grand opening. That took her about ten minutes. She wondered what was taking Malcolm so long. She considered working on her paper for her advanced music theory class, but decided she wouldn't be able to concentrate enough to focus.

For the next hour she meticulously rearranged her closet, trying to distract herself from thinking about when Malcolm was going to call. She didn't turn on the radio or the television or anything electronic, for fear of not hearing the phone ring. After the first fifteen minutes she called her cell phone from her home phone and vice versa to see if the ringers were working. She had to fool herself into not looking at the clock every ten minutes, trying to guess when he was going to call. When the phone finally did ring, she jumped on it, answering before the first ring stopped, then she held the phone away from her for a second, took a deep breath and spoke.

“Hello.”

“What's up?”

“Nothing much. How are you doing?” she asked, fingering the name chain around her neck that she hadn't taken off since he'd given it to her on New Year's Eve.

“I'm cool. So who, uh…who is this chick you met?”

Kalia was kinda surprised that Malcolm jumped straight into wanting to know about her connection at the party.
What about me?
she thought.

“Oh, um, she was this lady who, you know, said she had been in the business for a minute.”

“Who was she? What's her name? Who'd she work for?”

“I don't know all that. I just know she knew a lot about the music business and she gave me lot of good tips and stuff,” said Kalia, annoyed at his barrage of questions, especially since she was wishing she had gotten the lady's name because she may have been somebody she could have continued talking to about music industry inside information. She had been so disgusted by Malcolm that night and so ready to leave she had probably missed out on a good opportunity. Should she blame that on him? she wondered.

“You know when you go to these type of parties you should always get the name of anybody you talk to and who they work for or at least who they know,” advised Malcolm. “So what'd this chick tell you?”

Kalia was really burnt up. He certainly didn't have to point out to her something she already knew, but she played it cool because he might drop some more little nuggets of information, something the lady at the party didn't tell her. She remembered he did get them into that fabulous party.

“She just gave me some advice about how to keep the audience really interested in my performance. They're like techniques that artists use, even those who are really good singers. They're just to make the performance more engaging to people who are watching and listening.”

“Umm, hmm,” said Malcolm. Kalia couldn't tell whether he was even listening or really interested at all, but she kept talking.

“She also told me about studying other artists, especially those who I admire—you know, study their performances, album releases, tour schedule, how their careers developed, all that. She even told me to watch my competitors' performances and learn what works for them. She encouraged me to have my own style, of course, but not to have a problem incorporating some things that work for others if they'll work for me.”

“Sounds like she does know a little something. Are you gonna take her advice?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Kalia, confused because this wasn't how she'd wanted the conversation to go. She really wanted it to be more about him apologizing to her about New Year's Eve then him suggesting he make it up to her by taking her out.

“All right, I gotta go,” he said abruptly. “I'm on my way to a meeting with some people about some big thangs.”

Kalia was outdone. This was the first time they'd spoken in ten days and he had to go? Scrambling to figure out how she could keep him on the phone, she realized she missed him and really wanted to see him.

“Oh, is this what you've been so hush-hush about?”

“Well, you know, I don't want to jinx myself.”

“Come on. Now you know I won't tell anybody,” she coaxed. “Let me in on your secret.”

“Naw, Kalia,” Malcolm refused. “I gotta keep this one to myself, and I gotta go. I'ma hit you up later.”

And with that Kalia heard a dial tone.
He didn't even wait for me to say goodbye or anything,
she thought, looking at the receiver. She spent the next two hours in her room, straightening, cleaning and organizing until she could have won the Martha Stewart Living Award for Cleanest Room of a Frustrated Girlfriend.

She promised herself she was going to stop stressing over Malcolm as she and Mari walked into their mother's new yoga studio that evening. There were Hispanic workmen painting several different rooms in soothing shades of lavender, mint green and a warm burnt orange, which Mari liked the best. Kalia preferred the lavender room. They worked hard the next week or so hanging up decorations and signs and cleaning the place from top to bottom, all the while saying silent prayers for their mother that her studio would be successful. Unfortunately the first couple of weeks proved to be very difficult for the Studio of Peace, Love and Soul.

One day near the end of January, they sat in the middle of the floor with their mother in the lavender room brainstorming about why the studio had only attracted a handful of people to sign up for classes since they'd been open nearly two weeks.

“Well, do people know about it?” asked Mari. “Do they know the studio is here and open?”

“They should. We're in a great location, in the same area as a bookstore and a grocery store and a coffee shop. There's foot traffic from all of those new apartments they're building around here,” said Elaine.

“Maybe we should go and see if we can put some flyers in the lobbies of those buildings, then people would really know we're here,” suggested Kalia. “We could probably post some in the stores, too.”

“Oh, and have some coupons on the flyers,” added Elaine.

“Yeah, that's great,” said Kalia.

“But you don't want to give your service away, Ma,” Mari cautioned. “I mean you gotta make some money.”

“Yeah, but we gotta get a clientele first,” said Elaine.

“Right, right,” Mari admitted.

“And you know the coupons could just be like fifteen percent,” said Kalia. “Fifteen percent of like a hundred dollars is only fifteen dollars, and it could be for only the first three classes.”

“Yeah,” said Elaine. “That's really good. I'm so glad you girls are here to help me out. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“Ma, you know we've got your back,” said Mari. She stood and walked up to the mirror, braiding her ponytail.

“I know. I know,” said Elaine, sitting in the lotus position. “You know I talked to this marketing person that I happened to meet at the Small Business Association the other day, and she told me that one mistake I made was deciding to open a business right after Christmas. She said that people are broke after Christmas and really can't afford to do anything in the first couple of months.”

“That sounds like something out of my economics class. I would have never thought about that,” admitted Kalia, trying to mimic her mother's lotus position, but she couldn't get her knees to touch the floor. Elaine reached over and gently pushed her knees downward.

“The woman also said that it was probably going to be a tough couple of months for me, but that one good thing I had going for me was that I was kind of in a healthy mindset-oriented industry,” Elaine explained, getting excited. “See, the other big thing people overdo during the holidays besides spending money is eating. She said even people with the best eating habits and exercise regimens relax during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

“She also said that a lot of people get on these New Year's resolution kicks, and even though only about ten percent keep them, that ten percent who make the serious commitment to improve their health keep the industry in business during the year. We just need to capture that wellness crowd that slipped up during the holidays.”

“
And
some of people who just moved here into those new apartments may already be into yoga, but have moved like far away from the place where they used to take classes,” Mari offered.

“Good one, sis,” said Kalia through closed eyes, her arms stretched out to her sides. Elaine clapped her hands in delight.

“Thank ya very much.” Mari bowed to herself in the mirror.

“You know,” said Elaine, stretching over her right leg, “I don't think your father thinks I can do this, but you girls give me the confidence that I can, and I appreciate that.”

“Oh, Ma, don't get all sappy. We're supposed to help you out,” said Mari.

“Yeah, Ma. You know Daddy is so serious about the Frys. That's different. You need to enjoy your business. I wish Daddy enjoyed his,” said Mari.

“Well, I think he does enjoy it, but you're right. My enjoyment has to be a different kind,” said Elaine. She rose and stood on her toes, reaching for the ceiling. “One good thing about him doubting me is that at least he's leaving me alone and not down here trying to run things. Oh God, could you see that?”

“Yeah, I think his loud military hover-over-everybody style would kind of cramp the spiritual peace in this place,” said Kalia.

“Like a drunk bull in a china store,” joked Elaine.

They all burst out laughing.

 

Kalia hadn't really thought too deeply about the Fire contest in several weeks when she'd gotten a letter in the mail from the officials saying she needed to come down to the offices with her parents and sign some waivers because she was under twenty-one and the final contest was going to be televised on a local channel. Kalia had also not thought about being on TV because she hadn't really expected to make it to the finals. Now it was all she could think about during the drive down to Fire with her mother.

She was so happy that her mother gave her advice about how to forget the cameras and the hundreds of audience members and just concentrate on performing, but she wondered if she could follow it. Thank God there was nearly two months until the show, she thought, walking into Fire. Just as she and her mother had finished signing several documents, Kalia spotted Asha and her mother being escorted past the doorway to the waiting room.

All of the anxiety she hadn't allowed herself to feel in more than a month rushed back to her. She wished she'd been able to see what Asha was wearing. All she caught was some high-heeled cream boots and some kind of fitted leather cream coat. On the way out of Fire, she started planning her attack. She was going to study Asha at the upcoming rehearsals and find out what her opponent had that her own performance was lacking. Something about Asha made the audience give her a standing ovation. She'd study Asha's outfits, her vocal style, the way she spoke and carried herself—everything.

While Kalia was studying her opponent, Mari was setting her sights on her prey. She walked slowly to the mailbox. She had only seen Dewayne a couple of times since she'd spilled her guts to him a few weeks back, and it was always in passing. They'd caught each other in the driveway a couple of times. They really hadn't had a chance to talk at all. She thought maybe if she lingered enough around the mailbox, he'd come home or come outside for something. It would be nice if that something was her. She'd even considered calling him, but quickly changed her mind when she realized she couldn't remember having ever talked to him on the phone before.