Authors: Cynthia Woolf
“Hush now. That’s not going to happen. We are a family and your Mama is going to get better. You’ll see. It’s going to be fine.” He hoped he was telling them the truth. Only time would tell.
Sarah burned with fever for three days waking for only short periods. John made her drink water and broth during those times she was awake. He gave her laudanum only when she appeared to be in pain. The last thing he needed was to get her hooked on the stuff. He nursed her alone refusing to let Bertha help except during supper which he took with the girls. They seemed to like knowing that Daddy was taking care of Mama and he reassured them every day that Mama was going to be okay.
On the third day the fever broke and Sarah woke up. She was drenched and he got her out of her nightgown and into a fresh one while Bertha put fresh dry linens on the bed. Doc was right. It didn’t take her long to get the chills. John put extra blankets on the bed and when that didn’t help he stripped them both, got in bed with her and held her close.
She shivered violently and he wrapped one of his legs over hers to help stop the tremors.
“I’m so cold.”
“I know love, but it will pass. The worst is past.”
“I hope you’re right about that.”
Suddenly she turned in his arms. “John, the baby…?”
“Is fine,” he soothed her, running his hands up and down her back. “He’s just fine.”
She settled a bit then. “I was so scared for you. I didn’t know that he couldn’t have hit you with the bullet.”
He held her closer. “I know. Did I thank you for saving me?”
“No. You just scolded me for doing it.”
“Well,” he tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thank you. You didn’t know and I could be wrong about the distance his derringer could shoot. They’re making them accurate at greater distances now. Considering that he probably bought the best that money could buy, you probably did save my life. But that doesn’t mean I ever want you to do that again. You’ve scared the hell out of me these last days.”
“Does that mean you want me to stay?”
“Hell, yes. Do you have any idea what my life would be like without you? We’d have to eat Bertha’s cooking.” He teased her, just so happy that she was going to be alright.
“I knew it. You only want me for my cooking.” She lay back in his arms, just the little bit of teasing taking all her energy.
“You know that’s not true.” He kissed her forehead thankful to find it cool. “I want you for lots of things.”
She gave a small shiver and cuddled closer and sleepily said. “I love you, John. Thank you for keeping me.” Then she was sound asleep. The chills had subsided enough for her to rest.
“I love you, too,” he said to her sleeping form. John held her in his arms. Almost afraid to let her go, that he might lose her. Had it really taken this close call for him to realize he loved her? He hadn’t wanted to love her, he knew now that he used being unfaithful to Dorothy as an excuse. A way to keep her at bay, but his heart had seen through to what his brain refused to grasp. He’d never really loved Dorothy, not really. Not like he loved Sarah. She’d come into his heart with that first blush and entrenched herself there after their first kiss. A kiss so sweet he still remembered it like it was yesterday not months ago.
And Katy loved her, too. She and MaryAnn were sisters, not to be parted. Yes, they were afraid they’d lose their mother but they were just as afraid they’d lose each other. He couldn’t let that happen.
Sarah loved him. She’d told him so. She may have been gripped in the aftermath of a fever when she said it but that was all the more reason it was true.
He rested his cheek against the top of her head and fell asleep. After keeping vigil in the rocker while she burned with fever, this was the first time in days he’d really slept. With her safe in his arms.
* * *
Sarah woke to John suckling her nipples.
“There you are. I was wondering how long I’d get to play before you woke up.” He grinned at her, his dimples creasing his cheeks the way she loved.
“You are a bad man, waking me like that,” but she ran her fingers through his thick brown hair and brought his lips up to hers for a kiss.
“I think you like it and I think that’s the way I’ll wake you from now on.” He lifted himself away from her. “Do you feel like going downstairs for breakfast today? If you don’t I’ll have the girls come in here. They’re anxious to see you.”
“I’ll go down if you’ll help me. I feel pretty weak.” She buttoned up her nightgown.
“Of course. Let’s get your robe on you. I’m bringing you right back here after you eat and everyone gets to fawn over you for awhile.”
“You’re just ready for them to know that I’ll be cooking again soon.”
While he looked for her robe he said, “Not true. We’ve actually had some good meals from Bertha. She does breakfast really well now. I think she learned something while helping you. We’ve even had breakfast for supper, which was a blessing since her suppers still leave something to be desired.”
He found her robe and helped her into it over her nightgown, then picked her up in his arms.
“John!” she wrapped her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“I’m carrying you down to breakfast. I don’t want you falling and you admitted you’re still very weak from you’re ordeal.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “Alright. I’ll let you, if you don’t think I’m too heavy.”
He groaned dramatically. “I think I’ll manage.”
Sarah laughed. “What has you in such a good mood this morning?”
“You. You’re better and are going to be right as rain with a little rest now. We’ve got two beautiful daughters and are going to have another one or a son in a few months. What could I not be happy about?”
He carried her into the kitchen and the cowhands burst into applause when they saw her and the girls ran over and hugged her legs as that was all they could reach.
John sat at the head of the table with her in his lap. She hugged each of the girls and assured them she was all right. She could have insisted that he put her in her own chair but she kind of liked it just where she was. The girls sat on either side of her. Bertha was so happy to have her back she piled a plate high with all kinds of food.
“Bertha, thank you, but I really only want some toasted bread and coffee. I don’t think my stomach can handle much else.”
“Of course not,” said Bertha. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Boss, that can be your plate. I’ll fix the missus what she wants.” She bustled away to get the coffee.
Sarah drank about half the coffee and ate one piece of bread. She turned to John and said quietly, “I think I’m ready to go back upstairs.”
He stood and announced, “I’m taking her upstairs now so she can rest. If she’s still feeling better you’ll see her again at supper.” Everyone said goodbye and John carried her back to their room.
“John, I need a bath.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I believe you’re right.”
She punched him in the shoulder.
He put her down on the bed so she could sit up. “I’ll have Bertha start some water boiling. You wait here while I go get the tub. Don’t do anything until I get back.”
She nodded and said, “Go. The sooner you’re gone the sooner I get my bath.”
He walked out of the room and she immediately stood up only to fall back to the bed. It was going to be really hard to use the chamber pot this way. It was behind the screen and the screen was clear on the other side of the room. She eased her way down the length of the bed to the foot post. Using that as a brace she stood and though wobbly, her legs held her. She leaned into the post and waited a bit letting her legs get used to her weight again. That was how he found her.
“What the hell are you doing?”
The long metal tub clattered to the floor.
“I’m going to use the chamber pot.”
“I’ll help you.”
“This is so embarrassing.”
“Who do you think helped you while you were sick? I can help you now.”
Having no choice she let him support her.
He helped her back to the bed and sat her down on it.
“Now, are you going to stay put this time? Or do I have to hog tie you?”
“You can get the water for my bath. I’ll be good.”
He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “You promise?”
“Yes, I promise.” She crossed her heart. “I’m not going to say ‘and hope to die’ because I came too close to that.”
He just nodded but she saw something like anguish cross his face and then it was gone. “But you didn’t and you’re here. To stay.”
When he came back with the water, one bucket of each hot and cold, she was still sitting where he’d left her.
“Ah, good girl, to wait for her husband to help her.”
“I didn’t want to get scolded again. Are you going to help me out of these clothes now? That water looks inviting.”
He poured the buckets of water into the tub and then closed the door before coming to her.
“Okay, let’s get you out of those clothes.”
She undid her robe and shrugged out of it. He undid about all the buttons on her gown and then had her stand, using him for support, while he pulled it down her arms and over her hips. Then he picked her up and set her in the tub.
The water was wonderful, hot and relaxing. “We’re going to need more water if I’m going to wash my hair.”
“You sit in there and soak and I’ll get some more water.”
She raised her knees and scooted down until she could lie back in the bottom of the tub. Sarah just lay there, letting the hot water soak into her sore muscles. Who would have thought that being sick would leave her so tired. She tried to reach up with both of her arms and that’s when her bullet wound decided to make her remember it was there. Putting her arm back down, she used the right arm to cover her hair with water.
When John returned with the water, he nearly dropped the buckets because he couldn’t see anything but her knees sticking up from the tub. He set the buckets down and came to the side of the tub and stared down at her.
“What are you doing?”
“Wetting my hair. I was going to wash it but I can’t lift my left arm high enough.”
“Here let’s get you sitting up and I’ll wash your hair.” He put his hands under her arms and lifted her like she weighed no more than one of the girls. He took the soap and ran it over her head working up a lather which he worked down her back to the ends. Then he helped her lie back in the water and rinse her hair.
He helped her back up and washed her body for her, taking extra time around her breasts and between her legs. She leaned back against his chest and enjoyed the ministrations.
“I can’t make love to you. You’re much too weak and sore, but I want to,” he said as he removed his hands and got a bucket of now warm water.
“You’re right. I think an orgasm now would kill me.”
He chuckled. “Sit up and let me rinse your hair.”
She did and he poured warm water over her.
“That feels so good. Now comes the hard part. You have to detangle and comb my hair.”
“Nothing to it. You’ve seen Katy’s hair after her bath and I did hers for a lot of years. I think I can do yours.”
“Good because I can’t with my arm.”
He had her sit up on the bed and put her nightgown on. Then he sat next to her and combed her hair working from the bottom up. Once he had all the tangles out of it he gave it one last comb through and then braided it in a single plait down her back, just like she’d worn it when he taught her to ride.
“There. Do you feel better?”
“Much.”
He covered her with the blankets and then stretched out next to her and took her in his arms.
“I’m glad your back.”
“So am I. We have to talk about what happened.”
“What happened is William tried to take you and then, when he couldn’t, he tried to kill me and force you to go with him.”
“I guess that about sums it up. Except what do we do now? I don’t think he’s going to give up. Not now. He’s still going to try to kill you and may try to hurt MaryAnn. If he finds out I survived, he’ll be back for me, too.”
“We’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“You almost make me think you care.”
“Of course, I care. I almost lost you. I’ve never been so scared in my life.” He squeezed her closer and her shoulder felt the pain.
“Owww. Not so tight.”
He immediate relaxed his hold. “Sorry, I forgot your shoulder.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know you took care of me while I was sick. You didn’t have to. You could have had Bertha do it. Our relationship has been rocky and I’m feeling vulnerable, that’s all.”
He lifted her chin with his knuckle until she looked at him. “I’m not going to lose you. Not to William and not to my own stupidity. We are a family, you, me, the girls and this baby. Nothing and no one is going to change that. Are we clear?”