His eyes stay glued to the ground. “When you went and got coffee, Jason wanted to know if you were interested. I told him you and I don’t talk about other dudes. He told me that he really likes you, Stella. He sings your praises and said, wouldn’t it be some shit if you photographed our wedding? I just said, yeah. He thinks if he can get you on one date, you’d see you two are meant to be together.”
“Well, first of all, I am not into Jason Day at the moment and we aren’t going to have a wedding for you to photograph. But, you are more than welcome to photograph the sex you and I are going to have tonight.” This mouth of mine surprises me sometimes, but I don’t want to hold back, and I don’t want to talk about Jason. I just want Ty to make Zoey drop the fucking subject. My hands slide up his shirt and I skirt them across the sexy, smooth skin of his taut stomach. “I’m into you. And today you did me, but you didn’t let me do you.” I grab his belt and pull him to me. The belt pulls open with ease and I breathe in his intoxicating scent on his neck. Today was not enough. Ty told me he wants to be inside of me tonight and I want that so bad myself, but I really want to get on my knees and do to him what he did to me. My open lips brush over his jaw. My tongue flicks out and I skim it down his thick neck. Oh, God, he tastes as divine as he smells.
“Stella…” Comes out of his mouth, as he tilts his head so I can have better access. My smile is wide, and I drag my lips and tongue back to his jaw, and back down. I pull his jeans button open and lift his shirt because that is exactly what I want to lick next. I lay my lips in between his nipples and my name is said a bit sterner and not as breathy. “Stop, Stella, Stop.”
“No, you said you were mine tonight. It’s my turn to do you. Now, let me,” I say against his skin. His body leans back against the SUV and I flick my tongue over his nipple and then pull it into my mouth. He moans as his chest heaves as he sucks air deep into his lungs from my touch. I pull at his flesh and tingle between my legs.
“I said stop!” He grabs my wrist and separates us. His eyes look angry and he pulls his shirt back down and tucks it in. I’m not sure what he is going to do with the hard on he’s rocking. “Just…stop…I’m not doing this here. Okay? Let’s go back inside.” He turns and heads for the house.
I’m shocked, no one is out here. No one can see us. I walk faster than him and make sure he hears, “God forbid anyone sees us together, right, asshole?”
I get no reply and get to a bathroom before the tears spill over. Not gonna happen. Not at a party, that’s for damn sure. I empty my bladder and continue to remind myself the eye leakage barely happens alone. It is most definitely not happening at someone else’s house. I try to think about what the hell just happened outside, but every time I do, my eyes want to drop water, so I just don’t. I walk out and find my peeps minus Ty.
Pierce and I are on a team for beer pong and the cold liquid goes down smooth. I don’t have to consume as much as I did with Zoey, so I head into the fridge for a bottle of beer for me, Zoey, Pierce and Jaxon. My stomach drops as I find the dirty blonde woman against Ty. She has a big smile on as she whispers something in his ear. They are close with her breasts pushed up against his chest. I back out and rake in a breath without them seeing me. My stomach turns and I feel instantly sick.
I flee. The cab takes about eight minutes to get to Carson’s. I text Zoey that I’m exhausted from the long week, and I need sleep. She asks me to text when I’m home. I do. I lay there almost numb, staring at my ceiling, going back over the night. Us laughing, us drinking, talking, and me being pulled into Ty’s lap. The fight and how we high fived and he let his mask down and gave me the eyes that tell me he cares for me. Then it all changed when he talked to Zoey. Then my chest constricts. He wasn’t interested in me. He told me to stop. Yet, God knows what blondie-locks was saying in his ear. He certainly wasn’t demanding her to stop as she was plastered to his front. It takes forever to fall asleep. I dream of the girl and Ty outside near the Escalade like we were… only he doesn’t stop her.
I’
M
TIRED
,
MAD
,
SAD
,
ANGRY
, hurt and my uterus cramping occasionally is making this shit ass day even better. Ty’s Escalade is not in the parking lot when I pull up. I get out of my car and see his bike is parked inside of the first floor. Well, maybe he stayed out last night. That would just top this fucking day off.
Holy hormones in full effect!
I really need to tuck my devil horns in so I can get through this work day. It went downhill when I opened my eyes, remembered Ty is flipping the switch again, and that I am due to meet Emily this afternoon for a boudoir shoot. Just what my bloated ass needs.
I pull out my phone to text Ty before heading up. Maybe I missed the fucking memo that we weren’t working today. There is a text from Emily that she is sooooooo excited for today. Well, that ends my idea of cancelling on her. The other is from Ty.
Ty: I got up early. Meeting my appointment early at the park. Text me when you get this.
I’m heading back to my car when a little red sports car pulls up. The woman from Carson’s party, the one that begged for Ty’s attention, and finally got it, gets out and seems surprised to see me standing near the elevator. “Uh, is Ty home?”
“No. He’s at a shoot,” She looks uncomfortable and fidgets with her hair. “Did you want me to tell him you came by?”
She doesn’t meet my eyes. “Uh, are you his girlfriend?”
I repeat what I hate. “Uh, no, I’m his assistant.”
“Oh, good! Well, I left my little wallet here last night and was hoping to get it. I wouldn’t be pushy, but it has my debit card in it.”
My stomach wants to lurch into my throat, but I keep it at bay. Tears prickle my face, but I will not allow them to well up, not in front of her. Hell, not in front of anyone. I swallow the lump and try to speak. I show her my phone and finally my voice works. “I have a key. I could call him to see if I can go in and get it.”
“If you can, just let me in and I’ll get it. I know exactly where I left it.”
Oh hell no! Let me repeat myself. Obviously she is slow. “Well, I wouldn’t be comfortable letting you in without Ty home, unless you want to call him and ask him yourself.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.” She heads back to her car and looks like she’s got one up on me.
This is the Stella I like. “So let me ask you. Last night you thought we were together, yet you didn’t hold anything back?”
“Listen, honey, obviously you aren’t with him. I mean, you’re pretty enough. If you can’t see in that sexy man what I can, that’s your problem. So no, I held nothing back.” She fiddles in her purse and looks at a card or a piece of paper. I really don’t know. She finally gets the phone to her ear and I stand there and wait. I’m assuming he doesn’t answer so she tries him again, and again, and again. This is humorous, and that is welcomed. “He must be with a customer. If you’re not comfortable with me going in, can you run in and get it. It’s in the bathroom by the studio. It’s a little Vera Bradley wallet.”
I instantly turn and throw over my shoulder, “I’ll get it and be right back down. I have to meet him soon, so I have to get out of here.”
She says okay and I jump in the elevator. It immediately starts moving and I feel like I can’t breathe. I try to take a deep breath, but that never is accomplished and it makes me panic more. Small amounts of air are squeezing into my lungs. The doors open to the second floor and I almost fall out to get fresh air. It doesn’t work, so I am just grateful for the short shallow breaths.
Did he fuck her the same way that he fucked me the first time?
Oh. My. God. I can’t believe I thought I was special! It’s, like, my fucking brain got sucked out of my fucking head for the past month or so! I’m losing my damn mind! Thank heavens that I am hearing my thoughts again. It allows my mind to start working and the panic to leave my body. I stand up after involuntarily leaning against the wall, holding my stomach. I pick up my phone and dial Ty. He answers on the second ring yet doesn’t get a word out because I speak first. I thought I was ready to make this call. I thought I had it together but it comes out breathy and shaky. “I left my phone in my purse and just got your text about five minutes ago outside your flat. I was coming to meet you when the dirty blonde from Carson’s party rolled up in her little sports car. You should have seen her. She was scared to death that I was your girlfriend, but don’t worry, Ty. I reassured her that was absolutely not the case. Unfortunately, she left her wallet here from last night. She tells me it’s in the studio bathroom, so I’m calling because she just wants to run in your place and get it. That’s fine, right? She called you, but she said you were with a customer and didn’t answer. It’s funny how quickly she knows so much about you. So I should go ahead and let her run in? I told her I have the key. I’ll just open the door and leave her here. Not really sure if y’all have some unfinished business from last night.”
“No, Stella.” His voice is low and soft. He takes a deep breath. “Please…can you just get it for her?”
My heart aches hearing his voice, but I reply as strong as I can. “Sure, boss, no worries. I’ll meet you in a couple, okay?” I hang up. There is not a doubt in my mind that this is not how he thought this morning would go, but…hey buddy…this is exactly how this morning is going. I unlock the studio and do not look around. I walk straight into the bathroom and grab her wallet, walk straight back out. I lock up, ride the elevator down, make sure my mask is on, walk out, and hand her the wallet. She thanks me and scurries back to her car. I get in mine and head to the park he scheduled for today. We went on my first location shoot to the same one
. I don’t get it
, is all I can keep saying in my head. Why? We had such a good …what… four days? I can’t believe that’s the standard that I consider to be good.
I get out of my head, and my car as well as Ty is speaking with this beautiful… and I mean beautiful woman with waves of dark hair cascading down her back. She is tall as hell. I wouldn’t want to be that tall and be a woman, but hell, I can tell she’s a model so this is definitely a good line of work for her. I walk up and smile.
What am I going to do…cry in front of them?
I just went into the man I love’s home and had to get another woman’s belongings for her. Just another normal day in my fucked up life. I apologize for my tardiness and offer no explanation. Picking up the bag is my signal to Ty that I’m ready.
Meet my eyes motherfucker
! He keeps flicking them to the ground, back to me for .05 seconds, and back to the ground again.
He starts talking to his client and I just operate on autopilot. My heart hurts. My pride hurts. I think I may actually be losing my damn mind because I cannot focus on the job, my thoughts, or especially Ty. I am not anticipating his needs and he has to tell me everything today like it’s our first day together. I’m sure he thinks I’m mad and just being a bitch, and ultimately, I guess I am.
Several hot hours later, we are done. I waste no time packing up the stuff as Ty speaks to his client, giving the normal speech. I wait patiently by the Escalade for him. I will not assume the special one role any longer. I am not the special one that goes in his house and not the special one who goes in his car. He’s walking up to the SUV.
Holy fucking epiphany! He wasn’t up early! He let that bitch stay the night. He knew I would come…so he left before I got there. Oh shit, I’m going to be sick. I hand over the bags and run to the side of my car where I lose my stomach. Well, there’s nothing in my stomach, so it’s just bile and it hurts coming up. The dry heaves are the worst and when they subside, I feel my hair being held back. The back of my hand is my makeshift napkin and I pull away from the asshole who’s helping me. I think back that I did say I wouldn’t fuck anyone, but he never promised that. A flash of Ty behind her in the mirror in the bathroom telling her the bullshit he tells me starts another dry heave round. I’m a sweaty mess when it’s over. “Are you okay? Are you hung over? If you’re so sick, why did you come?”
My voice is small. “I’m fine. I wasn’t sick until I got around you.”
Ty squeezes his eyes shut. I hope that shit hurts. I’m a fucking mess. “Stella, I don’t want to leave you here, but I have another one that’s going to be at the studio in about ten minutes. I can handle it if you need to go home and rest.”
“Look! If you don’t need me, just fucking say it and I’ll fucking go home, but I am Emily’s client at three o’clock, so I have to come back anyway.” All I can think of is that I just can’t do this anymore. I need to tie up some loose ends, take several days off and decide if I can do this job with him anymore. That’s not really what I am thinking, but I keep that subject in my head so I don’t see the writing on the wall. You... Are... Not... Special... Stella…
“That’s not it. It’s just, you were throwing up. I thought you were sick.”
“I’m not sick! I just fucking said that!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
“Okay,” he drawls out. He just stands there and stares at me. “I’ll see you back at the studio?” I nod yes. “Do you need a ride back?” I shake my head no, he slowly walks back to his SUV, gets in, and I see him put his head on the steering wheel. Finally, he leaves. I get in my beater and take the long way to clear my head.