Capturing Our Lady's Heart [Commando Cowboys and Renegade Texans Unite 1] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Polyromance) (15 page)

“You were willing to pay double for our ranch. It doesn’t make sense. Unless you are trying to control me and make certain I feel obligated to accept your marriage offer.”

“Damn, woman, are you stupid?” Alan snapped. “He’s filthy rich. Marry him for his money.”

Bliss gave her brother a distasteful glance. She stood suddenly and pushed her chair back. “Men, you all want to control. I should have known better than to start thinking you two were different.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “And you, my best friend, went along with the deal.” She walked to the door. Lann and Bern started to get up.

“Don’t. I want to be alone.” Bliss slammed the door shut behind her. Outside, the day had turned cooler. She hurried to her apartment, unlocked the door, and slumped into the lounge chair.

A mixture of disappointment, sadness, and anger tightened her chest. She rubbed the heel of her palm across the area that hurt. Then she grabbed a handful of tissues from a nearby box and let the tears flow. Her heart felt as though it had broken, and she was so cold, she shivered. How did the happiest day of her life become the worst?

Heavy footsteps sounded outside her door, and the door knob turned. “Go away. I want to be alone.”

“The hell with that. You’re going to hear me out. If you still want me to leave afterward, I will.” Lann closed and locked the door.

He strode to her, picked her up, and sat in the chair, holding her close to his body. “I never expected your reaction to be what it was. I think Bern did. He told me you might not be happy, but I didn’t believe him.”

Bliss started at him. “You know I hate controlling men. That’s what I feared with you, especially. Leave. I don’t feel up to tangling with you, verbally or otherwise.”

* * * *

Lann sensed her withdrawal. He was desperate to make her understand. But first he tried to see it her way. She lay in his arms crying softly, and it hurt his heart that he was responsible.

Was he controlling? He’d had to make decisions for his tribe. People relied on him and wanted his strength and calm, thoughtful judgments. He’d never been accused of being controlling. Yet, in a way, perhaps he had been. He’d had power, but never abused it.

He glanced down at Bliss. She’d fallen asleep crying. Bern had warned him she was tired, and he should wait to confront her. Gently, Lann carried her to the bedroom and placed her in bed, then covered her.

Should he leave? He’d wait and use the time to make a call and do some soul-searching. He closed the bedroom door and stood at the living room window, the furthest spot in the small apartment from where Bliss slept. He punched in Cad’s number.

“About time I heard from you,” Cad said when he answered. “What’s been happening? How do you like Saddlespurs?”

“The ranch is doing good, and I’ve fallen in love. But that’s not going so good.

“You didn’t waste any time. Are you in a hurry to tie yourself down? You just got free of a lot of responsibility.”

“I thought the same, but then Bliss walked into my life the day I arrived. The minute I touched her hand, I knew she was the one for me.”

“That’s the way it happens for us. It’s all or nothing. We can play, but when the right one comes along the playing is over. Don’t tell me she doesn’t like you?”

Lann explained about Bliss’s brother, her upbringing, and the changes he’d noticed in himself the short time he’d been here. Then he told Cad what happened today. “Do you think I’m controlling?”

“Not in a negative way. You had to be in charge of a large group for many years. To a certain extent you controlled our people, but not with a heavy hand. They’d never have tolerated the kind of control she’s talking about.”

“I don’t know how much I can change myself.”

“You shouldn’t. She has a misconception because of the upbringing you described. It’ll take time, but she’ll learn the difference. Explain to her about your job with our people.”

“What if she doesn’t come to understand me?”

“Then in a frenzy of hormones, you’ve picked the wrong lady.”

“No, I’m right. But you’re correct. This is a part of me I can’t and honestly don’t want to change. I’ll tell her why I’m this way, and then back off for a while. I have plenty to do on the ranch that I’ve been neglecting. Bern can continue to see her and work on her.”

“I wish you luck. If it works out, are you going to bring her to Wyoming for a visit?”

“Yes. Hopefully we can be married there. Bern’s agreeable on his end.”

“I’d like to see you all married by our Priestess. Your lady would have to understand and accept who you really are before saying yes to your proposal.”

“I know. Talk to you soon. Tell the others hello for me and tell Garth I’ll call him.”

“Will do.” Cad clicked off.

Clearer in his mind about what to do, Lann sat in the lounge chair and waited for Bliss to awaken. Cad had helped him organize his thoughts and accept backing off. Something Bern suggested, but he’d refused to consider. Still, he hoped it wouldn’t take her long to miss him and start having a different perspective about controlling and caring.

Of course it wasn’t just her who needed to see things from another viewpoint. He had some soul-searching to do, too.

* * * *

Bliss woke, surprised to find herself in bed. The apartment was silent. Had Lann left? She sat on the side of the bed and brushed her hair back. Then she went in the bathroom and rinsed her face with cold water. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, and there was a small ache still in the center of her chest. Her mouth was dry. She’d get a soda from the fridge and think about what she’d do next. Her thoughts were in a jumble, and the loss of happiness from the morning saddened her more than she wanted to admit.

When she opened the door, Lann glanced around.

“You’re still here.”

“We didn’t finish our conversation. I realized you need to rest, so I waited.”

“I’m thirsty.” She walked past him and into the tiny kitchen.

“Mind if I have one of your sodas?”

“Orange or grape?”

“Ugh. I’ll take a glass of water instead.”

She handed him a bottle of water and opened her grape soda. “I need a shot of sugar.”

He’d moved to one of the two chairs by her dining table. She sat across from him. “Say what you must and then go. I insist. I want to be alone.”

Bliss took a long swallow of her drink. Lann sat quietly looking at his bottle of water.

“I’m not sure how to start, but I guess I’d better explain about my previous job. I was the leader of my relatives who lived in New Mexico. Most of them have moved to Wyoming now. They looked for me to make decisions that would be good for the whole, not just one or two. I was the overseer.

“I’m used to managing situations and trying to make outcomes better for my people. I don’t believe I’m controlling in the way you describe the word, but I’m willing to consider how you see me. This may make you more angry, still I have to say it.

“Your understanding of controlling comes from your experience with your father and Alan. I am not like them, nor is Bern.” He took a swallow of water and stood. “I’m going to do as you asked and leave you alone. We both need time to think. You were right. I moved too fast. I hope you’ll see Bern. None of this is his fault.” He bent, kissed her quickly, and strode out the door and down the steps.

When Bliss couldn’t hear his truck any longer, she walked to the chair where he’d sat for hours. His scent lingered. She’d gotten what she wanted, and she’d never felt so lonely.

It had been a long two weeks. Bliss hadn’t heard from Lann or Bern, and although she was tempted numerous times, she didn’t call them. At least she’d been busy this past week. Her first shipment of lingerie arrived, and she’d sorted through it. Once the tables and other equipment came she’d be ready to set up her shop. But tonight was Friday, and she felt at loose ends.

A knock at the door made her hopes rise. She peeked out the side window and saw Sunn. Sunn was starting to knock again when Bliss opened the door.

“Hi, I thought I’d take a chance you wouldn’t throw me down the stairs.” Sunn smiled at Bliss.

“No, I’m over being angry. Come on in.”

“I’m really sorry, Bliss. I never thought it would upset you. With the money from the sale you’d have enough to live on until your shop became successful.”

“You couldn’t see how that was a setup to control me?”

Sunn shook her head no. “May I sit?”

“Sure. I’ll get us a soda.”

“Make mine orange, unless by some miracle you have colas.”

Bliss made a face at her. It was a joke between them. “I haven’t changed that much.”

“It was too much to hope for.” Sunn gave a deep sigh.

Bliss found herself laughing. She realized how much she’d missed her best friend these past two weeks. “My first shipment of lingerie came this week. It’s been fun unpacking the boxes and thinking about where I’ll place them in the store.” She handed Sunn an orange soda and sat in the opposite dining room chair to drink her grape.

“You’re dressed up. Are you going out?” Bliss asked.

“I thought I’d head for the County Swing Bar and Dance Hall.”

“You’ll turn some heads with those tight, sparkly jeans and that snug blue top.”

“I hope so. Lann called about some business the other day and said he and some of his men would be there tonight. I’d mentioned I wanted to meet his cowboys.”

“You never were shy.”

“Being shy, or not, not asking for what you want doesn’t get you anywhere.”

“I suppose that’s pointed at me. I haven’t heard from Lann or Bern in two weeks.” Bliss took another swallow of her sweet drink.

“I’m sure they’ve being giving you space and time to think. I stopped by to try and convince you to come out with me tonight. What else do you have to do but sit in this lonely apartment and feel sorry for yourself?”

Bliss stiffened and crossed her arms over her chest. “I am not feeling sorry for myself. I’ve been happily busy with overseeing the painting and construction work in my shop and planning the grand opening.”

“Well, if happiness looks like you, I don’t want any.” Sunn put her drink down and stood. “I’ll talk to you, tomorrow.”

“Wait.” Bliss had been stunned by what Sunn had said. She knew her better than anyone. “I’ll go with you, but I don’t have to talk to them. I’m going to dance with anyone who asks, and I will enjoy myself.”

“Good. Hurry, we’re already late.”

She darted into her room and switched into a better pair of jeans and a plain white blouse. In the bathroom, she put on light makeup and pulled her hair into a ponytail, fastening it with a multicolored scarf. She was ready. There was no reason to dress fancy. Bliss had no desire for Lann and Bern to know how much she’d missed them. A fact she’d never admit and had been trying to ignore in herself.

“I’m ready.” She joined Sunn in the living room.

“I’ll drive. If you’re lucky, one of your men will bring you home.” Sunn winked.

“They are not my men,” Bliss grumbled on the way down the stairs.

* * * *

Bern took a swallow of his drink while Lann anxiously watched the doorway to the County Swing Bar and Dance Hall. Bern’s face didn’t show his emotions, but he had the same desire to see Bliss. They’d given her time to think as she’d requested. Two weeks ought to be long enough. It was for him.

“I told Sunn we’d be here, and she promised to try to get Bliss to join her. Do you think she’ll come?” Lann asked Bern, not for the first time.

“If staring hard at the door has any influence, she ought to have already walked in.”

Lann grinned at Bern. “You don’t have to be sarcastic. It’s been the longest two weeks of my life. I worked so hard, my men asked if I was trying to show them up. And still I never succeeded in getting her out of my mind.”

“I know. It’s been the same for me. But I’m determined to make contact with her tonight. If she doesn’t come, I’m going to her apartment and pounding on the door.”

“Is this the calm, rational friend I thought I knew?”

“No. I find where Bliss is concerned, I can become quite impatient and irrational. There they are. They must have stepped in while you and I were talking. Look to the right. You’ll see them just inside the door.”

“Damn, she’s a sight for lonely eyes.”

“Don’t go storming across the room. Let her relax and get a drink.”

“Yes, Father.” Lann made a face at Bern. Bern kept his eye on Bliss. Several of his and Lann’s cowboys had walked up to Sunn and Bliss to introduce themselves. Sunn accepted a dance from one of Lann’s men and Bliss was dancing with Bern’s foreman.

“I want to go grab her out of your foreman’s arms and carry her off,” Lann grumbled.

“Cool it. We can’t afford to make her angry. Remember, she’s an independent woman.” Bern put his hand on Lann’s arm to stop any sudden decisions.

“All right. I’ll ask someone else to dance.” Lann straighten from where he’d been leaning against the bar. He walked toward a circle of women standing close to them.