Caressed by Night (32 page)

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“My lord in heaven,” Gudmund whispered as he came to the
edge of the balcony. Unable to tear his eyes away from the gruesome
scene below, he asked, “Do you think he was murdered?”

“Anything is possible. There have been rumors of a plot to
overthrow Hadrian,” Dorian said.

“Who would desire such a thing? Hadrian is a just and noble
ruler. Much unlike the kings before him.”

Dorian reached out as Gudmund swayed forward, his legs
buckling beneath him.

“I am fine,” the old monarch of the Voidukas Clan insisted,
shrugging off Dorian’s hand.

“Gudmund, perhaps you should go inside. You need to save
your strength.”

“The Death Curse has marked me and there is no sense in
fighting the inevitable. Soon, it will take my life, just as it has taken
those before me. How is Hadrian?”

“He refuses to speak and his eyes…they are hollow,” Dorian
said with a shiver before his gaze fell to the body of Titus Lucretius,
Hadrian’s identical twin brother.

“What do you think, Dorian? Murder or tragic accident?”
Gudmund asked.

“I fear we may never know,” Dorian said, his words a
sorrowful sigh. He glanced back to Hadrian, who still sat motionless in
a heap on the floor.

Stepping out onto the balcony, Falcon’s gaze locked on his
king, his heart breaking in his chest.

“Falcon,” Dorian called to him, “perhaps you can get
Hadrian to come around.”

“I will try,” he said, his words faint, a trembling whisper.

And wasn’t that what he was doing now? Trying to get Hadrian to come around. Was that not what he had been trying to do for the past three hundred and fifty years?

“What brings you here?”

Falcon started at the sound of the strong, familiar voice.

“Your Majesty,” Falcon said to the shadows, “will you not show yourself?”

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“I asked you a question, Knight,” Hadrian replied.

Clearing his throat, Falcon answered, “I have come to deliver a letter. I was instructed to place it in your hands. Will you come forward, so I may―”

“Place the missive on the throne and go.”

Falcon blinked. He had not noticed the ancient throne of his Clan when he had entered the ballroom. It stood proud in the brilliant light of the moon, an inch from the shadows. Had Hadrian pushed it into the open?

“My king, I was told to―”

“Place it on the throne,” Hadrian commanded.

Falcon did not move. He was not going to allow Hadrian to command him tonight. No, tonight the knight was going to command the king.

“My deepest apologies, my king, but I must refuse your demand. You see, this letter was given to me by King Arsov.”

“You jest. Mayhap a cruel game you are playing or a trick.”

“No, Your Majesty. The true king of the Volkov Clan has returned. Dimitri Arsov lives.” Pulling the envelope from the inside of his pea coat, he held it up over his head allowing the light to shine on Dimitri’s seal. “He came to me last night and requested I deliver this to you,” Falcon swallowed hard, “He wants you to come back to your Clan. It is time for you to return to us.”

“Oh, my dear Falcon, you of all people know that I can never go back,” Hadrian said, his voice low and filled with regret and…shame.

“My king―”

“I am not your king!” he snapped.

“Then who is?” Falcon countered.

Silence.

With a heavy sigh, Falcon’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, you are not my king, but you are my friend. Hadrian, you have been gone for so long. Are you even aware of how long you have been here, imprisoned by your memories and pain? Your Clan needs you.”

“I am no good, Falcon. No good. I am ruined, stained.”
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“The Clan is falling apart. With no one to lead them they are deserting, joining the ranks of other vampire clans. Soon the Validus Clan will be no more.”

“You lead them, I cannot.”

“I am not their lord, Hadrian, you are. I have no right to your throne.”

“You would have every right if I were dead.”

Ice crept up Falcon’s spine. “Don’t talk like that.” The shadows shifted and Falcon’s eyes jumped to the dark figure. Hadrian was still masking himself with his power, but his energy was waning. He would not be able to hold his guard for much longer.

“It is the only way to stop all the pain,” Hadrian explained,

“stop the voices from attacking me.” His dark laughter bounced and filled the ballroom. “Fitting, is it not? For years I longed for death to claim me, to take away my suffering, to wipe away the images of my brother’s…my brother’s…body…my brothers―”

The figure began to pace.

Falcon decided to switch his approach. The news of Dimitri being alive had not given Hadrian the shock he had hoped for and his words of the Clan had not worked in his favor. He needed to reach the man within Hadrian, not the noble king, but the man and this meant Falcon had to stop repressing his emotions.

For too long he had bottled his feelings, burying the hurt and sense of abandonment. Hadrian, his closest friend, his mentor, and his sire needed him. It was Hadrian who had rescued him from the sea of dead strewn across the battlefield. Hadrian had been the one to bring new life to his veins against the wishes of his superiors. The nobles of the Clan had felt he was a lost cause, a waste of strong vampire blood, but Hadrian had faith in him and now it was Falcon’s turn to repay the favor.

“Do you remember the night you changed me? I was laying face down in the bloody mud struggling to hold onto life. You picked me up and brushed the soil from my eyes.”

The pacing slowed, but continued.

Falcon cleared his throat as he felt his caged emotions begin to slip free. “I owe my life to you. You came to me when I was at my
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lowest. You had faith in me, even when the others were telling you I was a waste of blood, that I would be worthless. You saw me, Hadrian, you really saw me. You knew I could be a great warrior and all I needed was the chance to prove myself.” His hands began to shake as he ran them through his hair. Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. “Through all our years together, you never once gave up on me and I will never give up on you, Hadrian. Never.” The pacing stopped and the figure moved closer to the light.

Hadrian still held his guard, concealing his features.

“I don’t think you know what you mean to me. I never had a father or a brother. I never had anyone to guide me or anyone upon whom I could depend.” Falcon forced back the tears, he would not cry.

He would not. “Please, Hadrian, I have been so lost without you. I need my friend, my brother, my mentor, my king.”

“Falcon, I…I am deeply sorry for abandoning you, but I am not fit to rule. I am no king. I do not deserve the power, the reverence…I am so unworthy.”

“Why? What makes you think you are undeserving? For years you reigned over our Clan―”

“If only you knew, but…shh,” he whispered, “I will never tell.

They say I must never tell.”

Falcon dropped his head. Dimitri had said he did not believe Hadrian was truly mad, but he was not so sure.

“You need help, Hadrian.”

Hadrian shook his head. “The letter, Falcon. Please, set the letter on the throne.”

Falcon gave a weak nod and did as his friend and king asked.

He placed the envelope on the ancient, royal throne and turned his back. He knew Hadrian would never emerge from the shadows if he were watching.

The sound of rustling paper pricked his ears and he prayed that whatever Dimitri had written would convince Hadrian to return.

Hadrian’s hands shook as he read the perfectly scrawled script.

My dear friend,

I have asked Falcon to come speak with you. He knows the
facts of my return for I gave him a letter containing the details. The
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truth is, I was never dead, and Fate has aligned in such a way that it is
now time for me to reclaim my throne.

We all possess dark, painful secrets and, if we are not careful,
they will devour us whole. Please, Hadrian, I beg of you, do not allow
your demons to take you from us. You must remember who you are,
remember the man you are. Come back to us and shake free of your
shame, your guilt, and your self-loathing. The voices you hear are only
your thoughts. Free yourself from the past. What is done cannot be
undone.

I too struggle and suffer like you and, unlike anyone else, I
know the truth. I know what happened that night all those years ago. I
know how your brother died. Fate can be cruel, but they have plans for
you. I have only been shown a glimpse of your future and believe me,
your life is not over yet. The second act is just beginning.

Return to your Clan. It is time for you to lead your people, just
as it is time for me to lead mine.

Hadrian read the words over and over again as his thoughts spun out of control. Dimitri was alive. He knew his secret. And he had seen his future.
His
future. He
had
a future.

Looking about the ballroom, he cursed. This castle, this cursed room was his future. This is where he belonged. Locked away from the world, from those over whom he had no right to rule. He was nothing.

No one.

“Hadrian,” Falcon called to him, “it is time for you to return.”

“I…I cannot,” he protested, his voice shaking as his entire body quivered.

Falcon’s heavy exhale of exasperation rushed past his ears and his soul cried out. Hadrian wanted help, needed help, but he did not deserve it. Not after what he had done.

He carefully refolded the letter and placed it in the waistband of his tattered pants. The paper was warm against his cold flesh.

“I need you to come back,” Falcon cursed. “I can’t handle this, Hadrian. I can’t go about pretending to be the Clan’s leader anymore.

You are our king. Please…” Falcon’s voice lodged in his throat and Hadrian could see the emotions flash across his friend’s face.

“I am no longer the man I was. I am a beast.”

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“For fuck's sake,” Falcon snapped, “I am not leaving here without you.”

Hadrian ran his hands over his skull, his short, rough hair pricking his fingers. Taking in a deep breath he stepped into the light.

Curse after earsplitting curse fell from Falcon’s lips in a faint whisper. Hadrian straightened his shoulders and took another step.

He was thin, too thin. Every muscle stood out, etched perfectly by shadows. His stomach was hollow, the lines of his ribs were clearly visible, the jutting line of his hipbone was all that kept his pants from falling.

Hadrian knew he looked like a deranged beast. His eyes had always been dark, but now they were soulless, obsidian pits. His face was sunken, revealing the harsh line of his jaw and cheekbones.

The animal within him snarled as Falcon came closer.

“Why…how―” Falcon clamped his mouth shut as he tried to put his thoughts in order. “I’ve brought blood for you…I don’t understand why you would not drink it.”

“I take in enough blood to sustain myself,” he answered, his dried lips cracking.

“You’ve been living off the blood of animals,” Falcon said as the cold realization swept over him and Hadrian’s vampire smiled at the look of shock that came over the Knight’s face.

“Yes, I take just enough to keep the vampire within placated.

Be careful, Falcon,” Hadrian warned as Falcon took another step forward, “it is very close to the surface. I would not wish for him to claim another brother of mine.”

Falcon’s steps stuttered as Hadrian’s voice changed to the deep rumble of the demon.

“I have blood in a cooler in my car. Please, Hadrian, come with me.”

Hadrian dropped his head, his chin nearly hitting his chest. His body hummed as he thought of the promise of blood. Sweet, nourishing blood. The vampire roared for him to take the offer, but he could not.

Rats and other small rodents were what he deserved. Humans were too good for him.

Blood. Thick and rich
, the vampire whispered.
The strength,
the power that it brings, you need it. You crave it!

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Hadrian covered his ears, trying to block the soulless voice.

“It kills me to see you like this. Suffering.”

Suffering.
The word echoed in Hadrian’s mind as the monster within him laughed. Yes, he was suffering, as he should.

I too struggle and suffer, like you, and unlike anyone else, I
know the truth,
Dimitri had written.

“He knows,” Hadrian whispered, his voice almost too low for Falcon to hear. “He knows the truth.”

“Who? What truth?” Falcon’s eyes dropped to Dimitri’s letter tucked in the top of Hadrian’s pants. “Dimitri has visions of the future and he sent me to bring you home.”

Dimitri had visions of the future. The idea was a blast of lightning to Hadrian’s system. Dimitri would not lie, his honor and respect for others was too great. If Dimitri had said he had seen his future, then it must be true. There must be more for him than this rotting fortress and his haunted memories. A future that lay beyond these walls in a world he no longer knew.