Carnal Secrets (19 page)

He was fast becoming important to her. She couldn’t help being comforted by his presence and confidence. He made both her and her wolf feel safe, cosseted, and protected. For too long, she’d felt alone. Even before the whole Nick extravaganza, that loneliness had been there…like a cold draft in her chest. When he was around her, when his scent was filling her senses and he was touching her, that loneliness subsided.

He had made himself a part of her everyday life to the extent that if he left again, it would have a huge impact on her—an impact she wasn’t sure she could bear. If that was going to happen, she would rather he did it sooner instead of later. If one thing could succeed in making him give up, it was her going on a date with another guy. If he still didn’t give up…well, there would be no denying that he deserved a chance. It was a huge gamble, and it could blow up in her face, but she
needed
to know how committed he was to sticking around before she even properly considered giving him a chance.

After her client left, Shaya was cleaning her station when she again heard that frustrating noise. “Will you stop growling at me,” she whispered abrasively to Kent.

“What you’re doing is wrong, Shaya, and you know it.”

“I need to know if he’ll leave again.”

“No, you want to punish him.”

Okay, a part of her did want him to hurt as she had, but she was starting to think that he had been hurting as much as she had all this time. “If I can’t trust him not to leave, we can’t move forward. You know about my history with Mason—trusting is really hard for me. Considering Nick,
my own mate
, abandoned me once, I’d say it’s not all that surprising for me to be so hesitant.”

Kent’s face softened. “I know. But Shaya, there’s a strong possibility that Nick will kill your date. Do you want that on your conscience?”

“Why do you think I haven’t told him anything about it and don’t plan on doing so until after the date? I’ll send him a text to say that I’m going to your place after work.”

Kent gaped. “Why am I being dragged into this?”

She rolled her eyes. “Stop being a Nancy. He won’t know that you knew anything about the date because I won’t tell him.”

He gave her a petulant look. “Is there no other way of testing Nick?”

“Testing Nick for what?” asked a new voice. Paisley.

Groaning inwardly, Shaya shot her a sweet smile. “Nothing.”

“I have to say, I’m surprised he’s interested in you. I mean, I look at him…and then I look at you…and it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Paisley,” cautioned Kent.

“I’m not being insulting.” For once, it seemed that Paisley wasn’t being intentionally offensive. She appeared genuinely confused. “He’s clearly a very dominant guy—I’d be surprised if he doesn’t enjoy the D/s lifestyle. Someone like you, Shaya, well…I just can’t see you being able to cope with Nick as he is. You’re like the watered-down version of what he’d want—too testy and defiant, not to mention inexperienced. You…you’d be better with a guy who’s practical, sensible, sensitive, and gentle and all that stuff. Maybe a librarian or someone like that.”

“A librarian?”

“You know…someone safe and timid.” Paisley shrugged. “Now Nick, well, he’s far from that. I can’t imagine that you have experience with guys like him. And you might be sort of pretty, and you may have gotten his attention, but seriously, you can’t honestly think you’ll be able to keep it.”

Actually, Shaya didn’t think she could. And that was also a huge problem in all this. She had discovered over the past three weeks that it wasn’t just her distrustfulness that held her back. It was her insecurities. She couldn’t help wondering if he would one day regret that she was his mate due to her submissive status. Most alphas preferred females whose strength matched their own. Shaya knew she had the inner strength to match his, but was that enough for him, or would he prefer someone like Amber?

Amber…Now
that
was a female she despised. The healer had been a big, fat pain in the padded ass since she arrived. The amount of times she had “coincidentally” turned up wherever Shaya and Nick were was truly unreal. Of course she always made a point of hugging him or touching him in some way, touching him with a familiarity that was way too intimate.

Then there were the times she turned up at Nick’s motor home—oh yeah, Shaya had noticed and watched carefully from her window. He never let Amber inside, always kept her on the doorstep as they briefly chatted. Whenever Shaya had asked Nick about it later, he’d told her that Amber liked to keep him updated on what was happening with Roni, but she got the feeling there was more to it.

Amber wasn’t mean to Shaya. No, she was something much worse—sickly sweet and friendly, and if Shaya hadn’t seen the occasional flash of jealousy and contempt in Amber’s eyes, she might have bought the act. Shaya would have preferred bitchiness, because then she could have said a few choice words to the female and insisted that she stay away from Nick. But while Amber was being friendly, Shaya would simply look unreasonable, mean, and even irrational if she began mouthing off at the healer…and maybe that was why Amber did it. This way, she got to be around Nick more.

When Paisley returned to the reception desk to answer the phone, Kent said, “Well, if you’re set on going on this date, you can at least tell me about him.”

“His name’s Simon. He’s a web designer.”

“Sounds boring.”

“All you’ve heard is his name and occupation.”

“Exactly. Already he sounds boring. Now, if he was a tall, ash-blond alpha male with an inner wolf—”

“Kent,” she groaned.

“Fine. So where are you going on this date?”

“We’re going to the Moroccan restaurant near your place.”

One of his brows lifted. “Oooh, maybe I’ll pop in then.”

“No. You’ll grill him like he’s being interrogated for a murder charge.”

“Yes, for your own good. For all you know, he
could
be a murderer. An ax murderer, even. There could be bodies hidden under his patio.”

She growled, “You’re a pain in my ass.”

He continued to be a pain in her ass all day—dedicated it to poking fun at a guy he hadn’t even met, calling him dull and wimpy as well as possibly homicidal. But she still made him give her a ride to the restaurant after work. She had changed clothes in the salon, ready for her date. Of course Kent wished her luck, despite his disapproval, but as he drove away from the restaurant, there was a strange glint in his eyes that she hadn’t liked—guilt, maybe?

Shrugging off the matter, she entered the restaurant to find that Simon was already there. He had politeness down to a tee—helping her remove her coat, pulling out her chair, letting her order first. Yes, this could work.

Nick was watching TV with Bruce when his cell phone rang. Derren. “Yup?”

“We have a situation. And you’re not going to like it.”

Instantly Nick was on his feet. There hadn’t been any panic in Derren’s tone, but there was anger there. “What is it?”

“I followed Shaya to make sure she got to Kent’s place safely, like you asked.” There was a short pause. “On the upside, none of the Nazi’s guys or the extremists are on her tail.”

“The downside?”

After another pause, Derren sighed. “She didn’t go to Kent’s place. She’s at a restaurant. According to Kent here—who had apparently noticed me following him and came straight to my SUV in the parking lot to ask me to call you—she’s on a date.”

“A date?” Nick bit out.
Son of a bitch.

Again Shaya had to resist the urge to fiddle with her new violet-black skirt. It had been one of those love-at-first-sight purchases. She loved how the outer edges, running from her hips to just over mid-thigh, looked to be laced up—as if just a tug would have the whole thing on the floor. She also loved the feel of the black silk underskirt against her skin. Shame it hadn’t had some kind of warning label to alert her to the fact that whenever she sat down it was going to creep up her thighs.

She smiled at Simon as he poured more wine into her glass. The guy had been okay so far. The date, as a whole, had been okay so far too. Therein lay the problem: it was “okay.” There was no sexual tension, though he had given her compliments that indicated he would happily take over for her vibrator. There was no teasing between them or banter. He seemed to be too nervous to joke.

She had to give him credit where it was due, however—he was doing a fantastic job at not staring at her breasts, despite that her top showed off her cleavage. Whenever his eyes did drift down to them, a blush would stain his cheeks and he would instantly look away. As she gazed at him now and took everything into account that she had learned about him, she realized something: He was exactly the librarian-type of guy Paisley had described as perfect for her.

But this was what Shaya wanted, wasn’t it? Someone sensitive whom she could rely on not to hurt her the way she had already been hurt enough times before. Yes, he was missing the dominant streak that her submissive nature craved, but sometimes people had to compromise. So he would never take control and make her wet with just a look the way a certain alpha wolf could, but so what? Anyway, for all she knew, Simon could be a real Casanova in the bedroom. He could. Given the chance, there could be real passion between the two of them. They could be explosive.

Or she could be living in a fantasy world.

Maybe she was just one of those women destined to go through life traveling from one bad relationship to another. If that was the case, maybe sticking to flings would be better—no emotions, no strings, no rules, no pressure. It was just something based around the primitive need for sex. But a lifetime of that seemed sort of…cold. Shaya wanted warm. No, she wanted hot.

Looking at Simon again, she acknowledged that there wasn’t going to be anything hot between them. But there could be warmth. If that was all she could have, maybe she should accept that, maybe—

The sounds of chairs being moved and the feeling of being crowded stole her from her thoughts. Then all of a sudden there were three other people seated at their table, and the one practically fused to her side had braced his arm over the back of her chair and fisted a hand in her hair in a shifter gesture of ownership.
Well shit
.

“Hello, Shay,” rumbled Nick, though he didn’t look at her. He only had eyes for the nervous male opposite him. Despite the dark emotions circulating through Nick, his voice was surprisingly even. He couldn’t believe that she’d done this. He’d thought he was making progress, thought she was coming to accept his part in her life. And he’d hoped to God that meant she’d soon let him in—even if it was only slightly. He was fine with letting things move at her pace, despite how much it was killing him not to claim her. But he wasn’t fine with her dating other guys. And if she’d thought differently, she didn’t know him at all.

Shaya chanced a look at Nick’s flawless face, and it verified what his stiff posture hinted at. He was boiling with anger. As he met her gaze, his eyes warned her not to challenge him. Her wolf shrank away—not out of fear, but because she had no intention of taking any blame here; her wolf hadn’t liked being around the other male and had done nothing but growl at him. Both Derren and Kent were lazed in their seats with their arms folded over their chests, glaring at Simon like he had tried to assault her or something.

“Um…is, um, everything o-okay?” asked Simon nervously.

Feeling overwhelmed by Nick and the dark energy spilling from him, Shaya tried to shift away from him, but he growled and clamped his hand around the nape of her neck. When she stilled, he gently massaged her nape, almost as if he was rewarding her. Her wolf relaxed slightly at his touch.

“Why don’t you introduce us, Shay,” said Nick.

She cleared her throat. “Guys, this is Simon. Simon, this is Kent, Derren, and Nick.” Picking up her wine glass, she took a long, comforting gulp.

“Nice to meet you all.” Simon’s eyes danced from her to Nick repeatedly, obviously noticing Nick’s proprietary behavior.

“What do you do for a living, Simon?” asked Nick casually, needing to know every detail about this person, needing to create a profile in his head so he could figure out what the fuck it was that made Shaya want him over her mate.
Her mate
.

“I, well, I’m a web designer,” replied Simon. Shaya thought he was most likely wondering why Nick’s tone was that of a job interviewer.

“A web designer? Really? I bet that’s exciting.” He ran his hand through Shaya’s hair, because although he was infuriated with her, she was literally the only thing that could ever keep him calm in a situation where his control was being so severely tested. If he didn’t calm down, the human was dead. “Have you always been a web designer?”

“Well, I used to be a librarian when I—”

All conversation halted as Shaya almost choked on her drink.
Librarian?
No, the universe couldn’t want to play
that
much of a joke on her, surely. Nick patted and rubbed her upper back.

“You ever been married?” asked Nick.

“Married? Oh no, never.”

“Got any kids?”

“No.”

Seeing that Simon’s expression was begging for an explanation as to why he was being questioned, Shaya went to end this whole thing. “Nick, I—” She gasped as he bit her earlobe punishingly.

Nick continued, still smiling at Simon. “What word would you use to describe yourself?”

“What word would
you
use to describe
your
self?” she snapped at Nick.

He met her gaze. “Pissed.”

The sound of Simon clearing his throat nervously had them returning their focus to him. His smile was anxious. “Um…you two seem…close.” It was obvious to Shaya that he was dying to just ask Nick outright why he was behaving so possessively with her, probably worried he had unknowingly gone out on a date with another guy’s girlfriend. But Nick really had that school principal “don’t speak unless spoken to” vibe going on at the moment.

“Yes, we’re close.” Nick punctuated that with a nip to her neck.