Cart Before The Horse (18 page)

“Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not.” He gathered her hands in his. “I made a mistake. I should have discussed the house with you. I should have told

you I was going to look, and I sure as hell should have let you be part of the decision.”

“That’s right.”
She tried to keep the tone of anger in her voice, but it had slipped.

“I can still back out.
Nothing is signed in blood yet. I made an offer, and they accepted. That’s it.”

Holly pushed back her shoulders and pulled her hands from Gabe’s.
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him standing before her all smug and apologetic. “I’ll look at it.”

The corners of his mouth curled up, and she shot a finger in the air in warning.
“I said I’d look. Don’t you go thinking I’ll pack my stuff up and move right in. What if I hate it? What if I don’t like the neighborhood? What if, by then, I decide I
hate you?”

Now the smile had erupted, and he moved to her.
“You’ll never hate me.”

That burning in her lungs was now fueled by a different source.
It heated her entire core as she watched him get closer to her. “Oh, I think I could.”

He shook his head and slipped his arms around her waist.
“Jetted tub.”

“What?”

“There’s a jetted tub, for two, in the master suite. You won’t hate me forever.”

“What if the baby hates you?
What if he—”

“She.”

Holly shook her head. “Whatever. What if
it
doesn’t like the backyard or the school or the kids next door? Then you’ll be sorry you did this all on your own.”

His smile disappeared forcefully, but it still danced in his eyes. “You’re right.
I’ll be very sorry.”

His grip tightened, and he skimmed his lips down her neck.

The breath she took was supposed to give her strength to back away from him, but her eyelids grew heavy instead. “I’m mad.”

“Yep.” He placed small kisses on her collarbone, and a shi
ver passed through her as she closed her eyes and her shoulders dropped.

“I keep my furniture.
Yours is ugly.”

“No argument,” he said as his kisses moved down her neck and across her chest.
Her thoughts were scrambled and she fought to clear them.

“I have a long day tomorrow.
I should get some sleep.”

“Again, no argument.”
Gabe scooped her up into his arms and carried her to bed.

Wrapped in his arms after making love to him over and over, she’d resigned herself to not being mad anymore.
At least not for a little while.

Saturday morning Holly would have liked to stay in bed all day. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d wanted to do that. Gabe had only crawled into bed an hour before she’d heard her cell phone ringing, and she’d raced through the condo trying to silence it so he wouldn’t wake.

She let out a growl as she saw her mother’s name appear on the caller ID.

“Good morning, Mother.” Holly plopped herself down in one of the dining room chairs and rested her head in her hands.

“Holly, the dressmaker called and said your dress is ready for the final fitting, darling.
Thanksgiving is only a week away. It’s time to pull together all the details for this wedding.”

This wedding.
It sounded so perky—not.

“I’ll call the store and make an appointment.”

“No need. I told them we’d be there by ten thirty. I also took the liberty of calling the bakery and making an appointment at two to finalize the cake. The florist I met with yesterday, and everything is in line there.”

“Mother, why didn’t you call me?”

“Oh, you’re too busy.”

Holly balled her hands into fists and shook them. “This is

my wedding.”

“Yes, and we haven’t had any time to plan, have we? We want you to be home from your honeymoon for a bit before we plan the baby shower.”

There was the snide fusion in her mother’s voice, and it raked through her like nails on a chalkboard.
She wanted to lash out. She wanted to scream at her. Why had she agreed to an actual wedding?

Guilt.
It was all guilt. She felt bad that everything was backward, and that damn horse was out of place from his
cart again.

“I’ll be ready,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Wonderful. I figure we’ll just grab lunch at Gabe’s. He won’t mind, will he?”

Her stomach felt queasy, and she rested her hand on it.
“No. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Wonderful.
I’ll see you soon.”

The line went dead, and she dropped her phone to the t
able. Holly sat back in the chair and kept her hands on her small, rounded stomach. Her morning sickness had gone away, but the uneasiness of talking to her mother had left her nauseated. She rubbed her hand over her tummy to settle it. The queasiness subsided, but there was still an odd sensation running through her. She focused on this feeling inside of her.

She held her hands very still.
It wasn’t something she could feel through her fingertips.

Holly ran into the bedroom and bounced on the bed as she collapse on the edge and reached for her pregnancy book on the nightstand.

The sudden movement stirred Gabe awake. “Is every-
thing okay?”

“No.”

He sat up quickly behind her. “What’s wrong?”

She blew a stray strand of hair from her face and shook her head. “My mother is on her way.
I have to go get the fitting for

my dress. She finalized the flowers. She wants to finalize the cake today and oh, she’s having lunch at your restaurant.”

“Okay. So what’s the problem?”

Holly frantically thumbed through the book, and when she found the page she’d been looking, for she ignored Gabe’s grumbles behind her as she read. “Ha!”

She turned to him, groggy from lack of sleep and rumpled from what little bit he’d accomplished before she’d awoken him.
Holly took his hand and placed it on her stomach. She watched him.

He sat still for a moment and then shifted his eyes to hers. “What’s going on?”

His eyes weren’t sparkling, and his lips hadn’t parted into that wonderful smile.

She felt her own lips turn downward.
“It’s the baby.” She set the book down next to him. “Can’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“Quickening. I can feel the baby moving.”

The smile formed, and she felt the shimmer of hope.

“I can’t feel it, Hol.”

She dropped her shoulders.
“I can.”

“That’s wonderful.
What’s it like?”

“Like I’m going to throw up, but I’m not sick.”

He didn’t move his hand away. Instead, he repositioned it from place to place as if he’d feel it somewhere else. When he looked up at her again, she saw the sparkle she’d hoped for. “I think it’s wonderful you can feel her. It won’t be long be-
fore I do.”

“You can’t feel that?”

“No, sweetheart.”

She let out a sigh. “Sorry I woke you.”

“I’m not.” He moved in closer and kissed her softly. “It was nice to be part of it.”

Gabe lay back down, pulled up the blankets, and was quickly asleep again.
Holly sat and watched him. The feeling in

her stomach soon subsided, but she was still filled with that hope. They were sharing a life. Even an afternoon with her mother couldn’t ruin the few special moments she’d had with Gabe.

The seamstress pulled the material of Holly’s dress and pinned it where the hem should fall. They’d picked the perfect dress to hide most signs of her pregnancy. Holly tried to remember if that was her doing or her mother’s.

“How many responses have you had for the ceremony and reception?” Her mother’s voice carried through the dressing area as she tried on another mother’s dress, this time in mauve.

“I don’t know. I haven’t counted yet.”

“Holly, now really.
How is Gabe supposed to plan a meal around that?”

“I don’t know mother.
I suppose if he were worried, he’d ask me. We know who we invited, and we assume they are
all coming.”

Her mother turned around and glared at her in the mirror.
“How many people did you invite?”

“Just immediate family and a few coworkers.
That’s why I’m not worried about numbers. I know who will come.”

“What about Aunt Sami and Great-Aunt Georgia?”

“Mom, Georgia isn’t even related to me, and I haven’t seen her since I was fifteen.”

Her mother twisted
back to her own set of mirrors and straightened the dress, which had no form. “Well, I assume they will be very disappointed.”

“They will, or you will?”
Holly spun around without even thinking about the woman at her feet pinning the delicate fabric, whom she nearly knocked over.

Her mother turned to her with her eyes narrowed.
Holly knew she’d struck a chord and was willing to fight the battle before her.

“Holly, you don’t need to disrespect me just because you

disrespected yourself.”

“And that’s what gets you, isn’t it? Perfectly smart Holly got knocked up by a man she didn’t know.” That had been meant to sting her mother, but in fact it bit her. She’d never told her mother she didn’t know Gabe before.

Her mother’s eyebrows shot upward and her eyes grew wide. “Is that so?” Her voice had risen to that annoying pitch that told Holly she was disappointed.

“I’ve lived my life with you telling me I’ve done everything backward, Mother, and perhaps I have, but when, please tell me, did it work out poorly? I zipped through the public school system. I was a prodigy in college, graduating at an age most people are only worried about popping their zits. I’ve made a name for myself in an industry I love. So once, in my whole life, I threw caution to the wind.”

“We always have to pay for our mistakes, Holly.
You’ll be paying for a long time.”

Holly raised her hand to her chest.
She could feel her heartbeat ramping up under her palm. “Is that what you’re doing? You’re paying for the mistakes you made in your life? You’re blaming your miserable past on me? I wasn’t the one who married you off so young. I wasn’t the one who looked down on a daughter who only wanted to have her mother’s attention because she was so young among her peers that she had no friends.”

Holly lifted the dress and bolted across the room.
She could see the tears in her mother’s eyes, and as mad as she was, it was tearing her apart, but she wasn’t done.

“
Mom, I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t get pregnant to land a man like you did.”

Her mother’s head snapped up.
Her jaw set and her cheeks grew red. “How dare you talk to me like that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know about the baby you lost.
I know you got pregnant so you’d have a reason to move away.”

Holly was sure that if they were alone, her mother would have slapped her across the face. She’d embarrassed her, and she could see her fight every emotion that had been bottled inside of her for over thirty-four years.

Her mother let out a deep breath and pushed back her shoulders.
She looked past Holly, and the woman who had been pinning the dress quickly left the room.

“How did you know about the baby?” There was humili
ation and fear in her voice, and even though Holly was angry, she didn’t like the hurt her mother’s words carried.

“I’ve always known.” She softened her tone.“It doesn’t make you less of a person.”

Her mother lifted her head and batted away tears that formed behind her lashes. “My mother thought it did. My father swore to never speak to me again.”

She reached for her mother’s arm. “And it was worth it?”

Her mother shook her head and looked away. “No.” She turned back to the mirror and wiped her eyes. “Holly, you’d never understand.”

“I understand more than you think I do.
Do you think it’s easy not having any friends because you’re some kind of freak who’s in college at fifteen? You were all I had, and you were distant from me.”

“Because I let the world down.”

“You let no one down.” Holly reached for her mother’s shoulder and turned her toward her. “Dad loves you so much. He’s an amazing man who is completely in love with you. I can see it in his eyes. Even when you’re talking crazy.”