Catalyst (14 page)

I’m about to go apeshit crazy on his nonchalant attitude about how we’re together now. Really, though, I keep calm and bite my tongue.

“My life I used to have, meaning when I had Liam?” Just saying his name makes my heart hurt. My sweet Liam. We were so happy back then.

“Exactly. This way you purge yourself of all your past. You can let go of any pain and focus on your future. Noah’s a constant reminder of the old Tinsley. It isn’t good for you.”

What comes out of my mouth next makes me cringe, and it feels like I’m stabbing Noah, Liam, and myself in the back. It’s what he needs to hear. Smiling, I tell him, “I never thought of it that way. How did I get so lucky to have someone who cares so much about me?” I turn and place a kiss on his cheek. I want to take it back, but right now, I need Maguire to trust me. Lying against his skin, I feel like I’m slowly losing myself, minute by minute, hour by hour.

His arms tighten around me in a loving manner, and I feel his lips kiss my upper back. “Thank you for that. I needed to hear it.”

I’m at a loss for what to do. My heart hates me for what just came out of my mouth.

My fingers are pruney by the time we get out of the tub. He dries me off before taking me to bed, both of us naked.

I feign sleep, trying to think about getting the hell out of his home. When he starts to snore, I start to slowly slip out of bed, making sure not to wake him.

It feels like it takes forever for me to be off the bed and standing. Padding to the door, I curse myself when I realize he locked it from the inside and I don’t know where the key is. Looking around, I scramble around his room until I find my phone. When I finally find it, I want to scream for joy that it still has a bit of battery. Browsing my notifications, I realize he’s been texting Shannon as me.

She was worried. It’s evident in her texts. She knew something was up, but he doused all hope of her coming for me. His responses sound just like me. He took time and effort to make sure she didn’t get suspicious. Funny, she thinks we’re on a road trip up to Houston for a few days. A week ago, that would have sounded like a legit weekend vacation with the man I’m dating. I was so naïve. Scrolling through other notifications, I noticed I’ve missed two calls from an unknown number but no voicemails.

No messages from Noah. Which not only makes me sad but also worried. I know Maguire’s done something to him; I just don’t know how bad. I hear Maguire stir in the bed and bend down to put the phone back in the exact same place I found it. As soon as I get a chance, I’ll be able to send a message for her to send help.

I head to the bathroom and turn the lights on, hoping that I’ll wake him up. Ideally, he’ll realize I hadn't left when I had the chance. I need him to trust me. My ankles and wrists can’t take much more friction.

After using the restroom, I grab the jar of ointment and prop myself up on the counter. I open the jar, scooping a glob of ointment on my finger and apply it gently to my ankles. Wincing at the painful contact, I continue until I’ve taken care of all my wounds.

Just as I turn to place the jar back, I see him walk in. His hair disheveled from being in bed, but otherwise, he looks like the old Maguire, the one who hadn’t turned psycho on me.

“Hey, there. I had to use the restroom and didn’t want to wake you,” I tell him kindly.

He looks at me for a moment, and I don’t think he realized I wasn’t chained up at all. After a moment, he smiles and makes his way between my legs.

“That’s very sweet of you, babe. How about we go make some breakfast?” He still has that sleepy face that is normally adorable.

We walk hand in hand downstairs, and I take a seat on a barstool. I’m still waiting for him to lock me up somehow, but he’s acting more like we’re a normal couple this morning.

It means I’m doing something right.

It’s no surprise when he makes me pancakes and bacon. I’ve made it for him before when we first started having sleepovers. We eat in mutual silence, both of us lost in thought.

“Can I have my clothes back? Or at least a t-shirt?” I finally ask, not quite knowing what we should talk about.

Thinking about it a moment, he walks into the laundry room, comes back and tosses me a shirt of his. I smile graciously and put it on quickly.

“Thanks.”

I didn’t realize how much I missed the simple idea of privacy. Having a shirt on was almost like a security blanket, giving me the comfort and protection I needed to get through the day.

Another day with Maguire. In this home, where I don’t want to be.

Scooping up the last bit of food on my fork, I rise to put my plate in the sink and have no idea where to go now. I’m scared he’ll lock me back up again.

Instead of having a seat at the bar, I step behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. It’s a simple motion of affection, but hopefully, he’ll see it as more.

“What’s our plan for today?”

“Stay around the home,” he says likes it’s something we haven’t done the past two days.

“Can we play twenty questions?” I take a step back, and he turns quickly and stands. I hold my hands up to show there isn’t a threat and move to the couch.

He follows along with me, having a seat on the other end of the sofa, his long legs spread out. “You don’t want to do that.”

He’s right. I probably don’t want to know the honest answer to many of my questions. “We trust each other. We love each other. Why not know more?” It sickens me as I throw out the ‘L’ word so easily.

Shaking his head, he tells me, “I’ve warned you, though. And if you’re asking me questions, all is fair in love and war.”

I smile at that. He sees it as love. I see it as war. Starting off with an easier question, I ask, “What’s your favorite quality about me? Both physical and emotional.”

If he’s so in love with me, it should be an easy answer.

He takes no time to think. “Your legs. They go on for days, and there’s nothing better than having them wrapped around my waist. As for emotional, I’d have to say how intuitive you are.”

Unsure if I’m supposed to answer the same question about him or really how to respond to that, I nod a simple thank you.

“Same question.”

Asshole. I ponder this question for a moment. What would a narcissistic psycho like him want to hear? “I love your presence. When you walk into a room, you own it. The way you walk, the way you convey yourself to others, it’s sexy.”

“You’ve noticed?” He seems genuinely surprised, which I find funny and odd.

“Yeah. It’s what drew me to you originally.” It’s sad but true. “How long have you cared about me?”

His answer doesn’t come automatically. Eventually, though, he tells me, “A long time.”

Whatever that means. I probably don’t want to know the answer anyway. We go back and forth with random ass questions until I work up the nerve to ask what I really want to know.

“Is Noah—safe?” I hate to ask, but I have to know. It’s my fault he’s in the situation he is.

The smile that comes over Maguire’s face will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ve hit the spot. The spot that makes him unravel. He moves over on top of me until we’re only inches away from each other. His body presses against mine as I sink into the couch. “Do I not do it for you, Tinsley?” He grinds against me, his erection pressing against my core.

“Th—that’s not it. I just wanted to know, as friends.” I stumble over my words, hating the feel of him against me.

“You lie, sweetheart. You care for him on some deeper level. Now, tell me, who does your body crave? Who do you think about when you touch yourself? Hmm?” His voice rattles my brain. All I want to do is sink into the couch and disappear.

Liam is who I want to say at first, but also Noah. Neither are acceptable answers. Not in the position I’m currently in. His eyes show no compassion, only possession.

“You,” I mutter.

“That’s right. I’ve pulled you away from both distractions, yet you still think about them. Don’t think I haven’t seen you drift off into some dreamland where you live happily ever after with them. What else do I have to do to get that through your thick skull?” His voice grows angrier and more desperate.

Hearing him talk about him pulling both Noah and Liam away from me, though … it all starts to make sense.

He sees it.

He’s the reason Noah and Liam are gone. The fact he’d go through this much trouble for me scares me to no end. There isn’t another option for him. There are no other fish in the sea.

I have the terrible feeling that if he can’t have me, no one will.

“Did you?” I can’t say the words out loud. He knows well enough what I’m asking. My body is trembling as I wait for his response.

The response I dread hearing.

The response that will change the game and drastically lower my odds of getting out of here alive.

“Kill him?” he asks simply. Licking my cheek, he laps up the tears I didn’t realize were falling.

I nod slightly.
Please say no. Please say no
.

“I think we both know the answer. Don’t we?” His smile is back, and I know he’s a murderer. He killed—not for me, but to have me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Noah were dead too, but I can’t stand to ask any more questions. I fight to keep my body from shaking and bursting into tears at the thought of Noah being dead because of me. My face crumples slightly at the thought, but I keep the tears at bay.

He laughs at me. “You know, you ought to be careful. Sneaking around here, you should know by now that there are consequences for your actions.” Getting up, he dials a number on his phone and for a moment, I’m left on the couch, speechless and motionless.

As soon as he starts walking away from the front door, I get up and make a mad dash for it, knowing this is my moment of opportunity. My hand is on the door and I have it open when I feel his hand on my shoulder and the needle in my neck. Hope drains from me as I feel the medicine pump into my system. Screaming, I collapse and the last thing I see before everything fades is Liam’s figure, holding me up and protecting me.

Maguire

ONE MOMENT, SHE’S
with me, and the next, she’s against me.

It’s a constant battle between us, even though half the time nothing is spoken. She doesn’t trust me but is comfortable enough with me from our past to relax and not fight.

It’s only a matter of time before I find out if she’ll stay or go.

Not that she can go, but she’ll make an attempt.

I know she still has feelings for me, and I’ve tried my damnedest to be my old self, to remind her of how it used to be.

Hearing her ask about Liam and Noah, though; I hadn’t realized she was still caught up in Liam. I also didn’t realize how much she cared for Noah.

This is why she needs me to help guide her. I can guide her away from the confusion, and with time, I know we’ll be happy together.

Seeing her run just now pissed me off. She knew those were loaded questions and should have been ready for my answers.

I wasn’t expecting to run into these complications. It wasn’t part of my plan.

Tinsley

THE FIRST THING
I notice when I wake up is the horribly uncomfortable bed I’m on and the sound of the beeping monitors. My head pounds, my throat is dry, and the lights are dim, but I’m okay. Physically at least.

I was so close to freedom. It was within my reach.

I failed. I don’t even try to open my eyes. I don’t want to see Maguire’s face ever again. His solution for my disobeying is to drug me, and I’m so sick of being high. He thinks I’m his possession, his soul mate. I don’t think he realizes the hatred he’s caused me to have for him. He turned me against him. It was his own doing.

I won’t be a victim. I’m done playing nice. Once I’m back to my old self, without sedatives in my system, he’ll see a whole new side of me.

Except right now, I’m a prisoner of my own body. I pray for strength but making the simplest of movements is difficult and sleep calls my name.

WHEN I WAKE UP
some time later, a female voice I don’t recognize is talking to a man. Their voices are hushed as if they’re trying to stay quiet and not wake me. The lights are off this time, but the beeping continues. Feeling around, I’m under a blanket and have a gown on.