Catalyst (9 page)

Trying not to sound like I’m freaking out, I ask, “Umm, so how does that work?” I look down at his fist, and when I look up, I know he’s caught me looking.

“The actual fisting or the foreplay for the woman to be able to handle it?” Looking at the street signs, we’re nearing my place.

Fuck.

“All of the above. If you don’t mind.”

“How about I just show you?” he asks but after catching one look at me, he laughs and tells me he’s just kidding.

I need to make a new rule. No joking about sticking fists up my hoo-ha. It’s not funny, nor will it ever be.

I need a damn drink.

“It takes patience and a lot of chemistry. She has to be really turned on and the guy slowly keeps adding fingers as she adjusts to the larger size. After working up to a good four fingers, he can start working the hole a little bigger until she opens up for him. It’s beautiful and sexy as hell seeing the entire thing. Once he’s in, it’s just like fingering her, but on a larger scale.”

After he finishes, all I manage to vocalize is, “Huh.”

“You’re freaking out.”

“Nope,” I say, still facing forward, knowing that I’ll be able to see my apartment in seconds and how no matter how good my excuse is, he’ll know the real reason I back out of tonight.

“You are. It’s okay. I said I liked watching it. I’ve never done it before.” He soothes me with his voice and by his words. He pulls up and parks where I motion for him to.

“Never ever?” I can hear the hope laced in my tone.

“Never ever, babe. That’s not my expectation with you. I’m good with regular fucking. I promise.”

“Well, when you put it that way, my way sounds boring. I wasn’t expecting it, but I guess we all like different things when they’re escaping into fantasy. I always go to creampies.”

“No way! I did not peg you for a creampie girl.” He laughs. I can see his body relax, and I feel like I can finally breathe again.

Laughing myself, I nod and nudge my head up. Eyeing toward my apartment, I hint at the invitation for us to go upstairs. His small nod is enough of an answer for me. Getting out of the car, I can’t stop smiling at how I’m finally moving on and living.

“Do you like,
that
, yourself? Or just watching it?” he asks as we head upstairs.

“Are you sure you want me to answer?” I ask, and he nods immediately.

Why did I open my mouth? I should have said something vanilla that everyone likes. Now, I have to explain myself.

“That’s a loaded question. It took Liam and me months to get to the point where the trust was there. Once we ditched the condoms, sure, I liked feeling him come inside me and he always watched our cum drip out of me. He was the only one.”

“I see.”

He takes my hand in his, and I’m reminded to stay in the present.

Maguire knows about my past and respects that part of me.

My heart races as I slip my key in the lock and turn the knob. The chemistry is palpable, but I’ve never been so nervous in my life. Maguire keeps his hand flush against my lower back as I set my purse down and flip a few of the lights on.

He turns me to face him and wraps his arms loosely around my hips. “Relax. You look like you’re about to pass out.” Kissing my forehead, he brings me into an embrace. We stay like this for a moment while I try to calm my breathing. “That’s it, Tinsley.”

Nodding my head slightly, I squeeze my arms around him and a tear falls onto his shirt. I sniffle and he leans back, looking into my eyes. “Sweetheart. It’s okay, I promise. We can relax on the couch and watch mindless TV for all I care. No expectations.”

I let myself cave into my desires, and with a shy smile, I lean up and kiss him. Softly at first, he lets me control the kiss, taking my cues as I slide my tongue between his lips and deepen the kiss. His hands roam unhurriedly over my backside as our tongues dance to the perfect rhythm.

I take one small step back and he nods his head, understanding. We walk in synchrony through my apartment and into my bedroom, only stopping when the back of my knees hit my bed.

“You’re breathtaking, Tinsley.”

“You’ve already got me in my room. You don’t have to sweet talk me to get my panties off,” I mutter as I slide off my top.

“Not sweet talking, just telling the truth.” Looking down at my chest, he traces the top of my bra before reaching around and unhooking it. It falls to the floor and I stand vulnerable and wanton.

“No fisting?” I can’t help but ask.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Not on tonight’s menu,” he tells me as he guides me to lie down. Hovering over me, he takes his time making sure every inch of my body is worshiped before he ever takes his clothes off.

Hours later, I’m deliriously sated and fall asleep in the warm embrace of the man who reminds me how to feel.

THE NEXT MORNING,
I get up before he does and decide to make eggs, bacon, and toast. We were both up late and I’m starving. The effects of last night are still evident as I walk quietly through my apartment and to the kitchen.

I can’t help but smile thinking about how he paid attention to my wants and needs. My cues might have been a bit obvious (
harder, right there, don’t stop
), but he made sure I was more than satisfied before he ever let himself go. The bed is in full disarray and having a gloriously naked man lying in it isn’t so bad either.

I wasn’t ashamed. I wasn’t thinking of Liam too much. I was living in the moment, and I wasn’t going to feel bad for enjoying last night.

Grabbing the eggs and bacon out of the fridge, I whisk enough eggs for two omelets before placing the bacon in the skillet. I chop some ham and toss it in with a little cheese before adding it to the omelets.

Lost in thought, I don’t hear him come up behind me. At the slightest touch on my hip, I jump, tossing a searing piece of bacon across the stove in the process. “Jeez! Warn a girl, huh?” I holler as he walks over to the fridge.

“I wasn’t trying to be quiet. I thought you heard me walk in. It smells delicious.” He pulls out the orange juice and pours us each a glass. As he hands me my glass, our fingertips touch. That simple touch stirs something inside of me. He lets go of the glass and takes a sip of his own, licking his upper lip after.

“Jerk.” I throw out the word as I turn to finish breakfast. He’s laughing behind me as I fill each of our plates. Arms wrap around my waist, and I’m too weak to fight it.

“That’s not what you were saying last night if I recall correctly. Thank you for breakfast, Tinsley.” He kisses my neck, eliciting a small moan from me. “I should add some cheesy comment about having you for dessert now, right?” I can feel him smiling.

He makes me happy. I turn around and lean in for a kiss. His lips still taste of the citrus from his juice. I bite his lip. “You could, but I think we both know how this date’s going to end.” I lean my hips into his for just a moment, taking note of how aroused he is for me. Grabbing the plates, I head into the family room and hear him right behind me with our drinks.

After settling down and scarfing down half his food, he asks, “What made you give me a chance?”

His mouth still has food in it; there’s a crumble of bacon on his chest, and he’s looking at me like I am some beauty who is unobtainable. His guard is down, and I can really see the real Maguire, who begs for acceptance.

Reaching over, I pick the crumb of his chest and pop it in my mouth. I’m grateful for the lack of hair on his chest right now. “There’s something about you that draws me to you. You’re a mystery, yet I feel like I’ve known you forever. You’re sweet and handsome but also intriguing and complex,” I tell him and hope it’s good enough of an answer. Because honestly, he is a true mystery to me.

It takes him a moment to respond. “Do you like that I’m a mystery?” He slips a leg under the other to get more comfortable. His plate sits between his legs, even though he’s finished eating.

I ponder the question for a second. “I guess it’s good in the beginning. After a while of seeing each other, I think the mystery would turn into distrust. But for now, it’s exciting.”

He smiles at that. Setting both our plates down on the table in front of us, he pulls me to him and we snuggle up on the coach.

If this is how our days begin, I could look past the mystery. Feeling loved again makes my heart full, and I am greedy for all the attention he is giving me.

Lying in his arms, I drifted back to sleep, feeling hopelessly vulnerable but not afraid.

Maguire

SHE HASN’T SEEN
me yet.

Watching her interact with Noah makes me sick. Rage fills me when I see him subtly brushing her shoulder, his eyes watching her ass as she walks away, the desire in his eyes.

Tinsley and I have been hanging out more frequently over the past two weeks. She still avoids my home at night when she’s worried about our activities, but I’m okay with that.

The important thing is that she has let her guard down, and she’s finally seeing me for the man who wants to be in her life long term. We’re meant to be together, and slowly, she’s realizing it.

I came here tonight to surprise her. Hidden Addiction, one of her favorite bands, is playing an acoustic set tonight and I snagged two tickets for us. It’s not our first public outing, but it feels like a big step.

In the beginning, I’d catch her drifting off, probably thinking of Liam. It was random, and it took me a while to catch on, but she used to do it frequently. These past few days, though, I haven’t lost her but maybe twice. I can feel her shifting from living in the past to living in the now.

I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Hell, it’s been a long and intricately planned out two years to get her in my arms. Nothing will get in my way now.

She has a healthy glow about her. Her laugh carries through the bar as she engages two of her customers, seamlessly pouring their drinks with perfected skill. Noah is behind the bar with her, albeit on the other side. He still seems to find his way near her every so often.

After about an hour, I send my haggard waitress over with a folded napkin to Tinsley. I can’t take my eyes off her as she opens the napkin, reads it, and immediately blushes. Looking around, she stuffs it into the pocket of her tight jeans and walks around the bar so she’s with the main crowd. She’s wearing a fitted white shirt that shows the top of her cleavage, no doubt for the male patrons. I watch as men turn their heads as she passes. She’s looking for me.

It takes her a moment to find me but the smile that comes alive when she sees me is breathtaking and sexy. I have to adjust my pants as she walks up and takes a seat across from me.

“You think you’re clever?” she asks with her smile still in full force.

“I have no idea what you mean.” I take a sip of my beer.

Looking down at the piece of napkin in her hand, she reads it to me. “I can see your nipples.” Looking at me incredulously, she chuckles a little and tosses the note back to me. But then she can’t help herself and looks down, running her hands over both breasts, checking to see if I’m right. “You can’t, can you?” she asks, unsure if the note I gave her was just a distraction or if it was, in fact, true.

“Almost. Just the faintest of outlines. How was your night?” I nod toward the bar, where she’s probably been for the past four or five hours.

“It’s been busy! I think it’s winding down enough that I can head out soon. Josephine should be here soon to cover for Noah, and she’s good with closing the place down.” She lets her hair out of the clip and it falls around her shoulders, her fingers tousling it to perfection. “You wanna head out?”

“I do. We have somewhere to be in forty minutes,” I say as I look at my phone. “I got us tickets to see Hidden Addiction tonight. Luckily, your work attire fits perfectly for tonight.” If I had my choice, I’d put a huge sweatshirt on her so that guys wouldn’t be staring at her tits the whole night, but she wouldn’t appreciate it and I know I’m going to appreciate having my arms wrapped around her tonight.

“No way! That’s where Noah’s going too! We should just go together since he’s about to be off.” She turns toward the bar and yells Noah’s name, signaling for him to come over to us.

Fucking asshole.

I’m getting tired of his interruptions.

“Noah! It looks like all three of us are going to the same concert tonight. Is Carson coming to pick you up or were you meeting him there?” She doesn’t ask me if it’s okay, she just assumes. Probably because most boyfriends wouldn’t care if her friend who is a guy tags along. Most guys wouldn’t see how much Noah cares for Tinsley and how treacherous it might get if he doesn’t back the fuck off.

I smile as Noah turns my way, silently checking to see if I’m okay with this. I’m not, but I can’t let it show.

“I can ride with you. Carson said he’d be late anyway, so it’d be nice to have someone to chill with in the meantime. Let me go close out and I’ll meet you outside?” He smiles down at her for a second too long.

I’ll go with her idea, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t realize by the end of the night that she’s mine.