Catalyst (The Best Days #1) (18 page)

Everything was falling into place. 

Now that Carson wasn’t grounded anymore, Rory was eager to spend time with him.  While she felt Rebecca and Sheck’s warnings were a bit over the top, she was mindful of the fact they were right about one thing.  She didn’t know Carson very well.  Sure, she knew him from afar.  But she didn’t know him on a personal level, not really.

It was a minor detail but perhaps an important one.  In any event, Rory was eager to find out everything she could about him.  It would be one less thing for her sister and best friend to worry about and then Rory would be able to triumphantly say “See?  I told you he’s a fantastic guy!”

Sunday afternoon was the ideal time for ice cream.  The weather was warm and the sky was sunny.  Birds chirped in the trees as they built nests and prepared to welcome new additions to their families. 

It felt like a smile was permanently plastered on Rory’s face these days.  That wasn’t to say she was constantly happy – she still had bouts of sadness.  But they were happening less frequently and she’d decided a positive attitude was her best defense against the life-consuming sadness that lurked in the shadows of her mind. 

So she’d begun smiling even when she felt like crying.   Fake it until you make it was her motto.

In some ways, it worked.  Normally Rebecca and Sheck wouldn’t be fooled so easily, but they were both preoccupied lately.  Rebecca was spending all her free time working on an essay for a national contest – for
fun
.  Sheck was trying to catch up on his schoolwork and spending a lot more quality time with his dad.  So when they saw Rory smiling, Rebecca and Sheck took it for face value.

She was glad.  It meant she didn’t have to see the telltale worry in their eyes.  In some small way, that did make Rory feel better.  Even if she still struggled with the occasional flashback or pang of regret, at least she wasn’t dragging the people closest to her down.

But it was different with Carson.

He wasn’t distracted.  His focus was completely, totally on Rory. 

She felt like she couldn’t fool him.  Not when he looked at her so intently that it felt like he was staring into her soul.  She knew he wanted her to feel better but he seemed to see past her cheerful façade, maybe because he’d dealt with loss firsthand himself.

“You’re having a bad day,” he stated matter-of-factly as they sat across from each other at a tiny table in the local café that boasted the best ice cream in town.

“Why do you say that?” she asked carefully, refusing to admit he was right.

“You’ve barely even touched your sundae.”

Rory looked down.  It was true.  Her ice cream was rapidly melting down into a puddle of creamy goo interspersed with hot fudge that was no longer all that hot. 

She smiled valiantly.  “I’m fine,” she assured him. 

“You’re not.”

Her smile faded.  She looked out the window and then noted, “It’s a nice day out.”

“I don’t want to talk about the weather.”

Turning back to Carson, Rory took a deep breath and set her spoon down on the table with a metallic clank.  “Maybe it isn’t me who’s having the bad day,” she pointed out, trying to shake off the exasperated tone he’d used with her.  “What’s up?”

He took a big bite of his strawberry ice cream cone.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She sighed.

“You’re only hurting yourself, you know.”  His tone was harsh and critical.

“Huh?”

“I see you walking around all the time with that big fake smile plastered on your face,” he said.  “I don’t know what you’re trying to do but just…don’t.”

This was a side of Carson Rory didn’t recognize.  She didn’t know where it had come from but she didn’t like it.  He was almost hostile in the way he was treating her, which was a far cry from his normally kind, caring personality. 

“Are you seriously telling me I’m not grieving properly?”

“Well if the shoe fits…”

When she didn’t speak for a moment, Carson added, “I’m only trying to help you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”
  She couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

He shrugged.  “You say you want to
feel better and get on with your life but do you really?  You’re not doing anything to help yourself.  You won’t go to therapy and you won’t tell anyone how you’re really feeling…instead you lie about it, to other people and probably even to yourself.  You’re headed down a dangerous path, Rory.”

She’d done her best to keep her temper in check but this was madness.  “Who
are
you?” Rory demanded, “And where do you get off telling me how to work through this?  First you tell me you want to be supportive and will wait as long as I need but then when I supposedly don’t deal with things in the ‘right’ way, you flip out on me.  That’s a pretty screwed up thing to do, Carson.” 

“You’re right.”  His deep voice sounded weary and had an atypical melancholic quality to it.  “I’m sorry.  Forget I even said anything; I was out of line.”

Rory said nothing, instead picking up her spoon and forcing herself to eat her melted sundae.  She didn’t want to fight with him but she wasn’t sure she could forget what he’d said.  It had stung…and made her question everything she thought she knew about Carson. 

Maybe, the tiny voice in the back of her head suggested, Rebecca and Sheck were right to be leery of him.
  Maybe Carson was bad news after all.

* * * * *

“Rory, what did you
do
?!” 

Rory turned to see Rebecca storming toward her, hands on her hips.  It was fifth period and Rory had slipped out of her algebra class to visit the vending machine.  Rebecca had social studies or biology or something during fifth period…Rory couldn’t remember exactly.  But she knew Rebecca was never normally roaming the hallways during
class.

“What do you mean?” Rory asked as she turned back to the vending machine.  She had a very important decision to make, unless...  “Hey, do you have seventy-five cents on you?”

Rebecca grabbed Rory’s shirt sleeve and yanked her down the hall toward the library.  Rory was stunned.  Her sister was practically breathing steam she was so livid.  It was so unlike Rebecca to lose her temper – that was Rory’s department.  Something was obviously very, very wrong.

“What’s going on?” Rory demanded as she was pulled toward one of the computers near the back of the reading room.

The crotchety librarian, who was about a hundred years old and had a permanent scowl etched on her birdlike face, looked up from her desk.  She scowled in disapproval.  “Shh!” she hissed at Rory, pointing to the sign hanging from her desk that forbade talking in no uncertain terms.

“What’s going on?” Rory repeated herself, this time in a whisper.

Rebecca ignored her.  She was busy pulling something up online.  Rory leaned forward and looked at the screen as Rebecca handed Rory a pair of headphones so she could hear the computer’s audio.  A video began to play on the screen.

It didn’t take Rory long to recognize it.  She was watching the video Rebecca had recorded the day of the confrontation with Jeremy. 
Rory winced as the images of the awful bully harassing Troy played across the screen, uncomfortable even just seeing it on tape.  It had truly been an awful encounter and wasn’t something she cared to relive.

“What is this?” Rory asked, looking at the web site address
in confusion.  “Is the video online?”

“You tell me,” Rebecca retorted, glaring daggers at Rory.

“Um, I’m not following,” Rory said slowly, treading carefully given her sister’s uncharacteristic rage.  “I didn’t put it online, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Rebe
cca’s brow furrowed and the tiny dimple at the left side of her mouth that was only visible when she frowned made an appearance.  She brushed a lock of her wavy blonde hair behind her ear as she tried to make sense of what she was being told.  “If I didn’t put it online and you didn’t either, then who was it?” she demanded, her green eyes flashing as she spoke.

“I don’t know.”

“Well I didn’t show it to anyone,” Rebecca said.  “Not even Troy…he said he didn’t want to see it.  Did
you
show it to someone?”

“No.  Well, Carson…” Rory admitted.  “I didn’t think it was a big deal.  I mean, he was there too and
saw some of what happened firsthand.  I mentioned the video to him and he asked to see it.”

“So he put it online?”

“I don’t know, he never said he was going to.  Why are you so pissed off?”  Even as she asked the question, Rory had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She knew that if her sister was this upset, it had to be for a good reason. 

“It’s not me,” Rebecca corrected her even though she clearly
was
pissed off.  “It’s Troy.  Rory, the video has gone viral.  Everyone in our school has seen it.  Even people outside our school have seen it.  It’s all over the Internet.  Once something is out there, there’s no getting it back.”

Rory swallowed hard. 
“And Troy…?”

“He’s furious.  He confronted me with the video after someone emailed the link to him.  He blamed me for recording the confrontation as though I somehow did it to hurt him instead of help,” Rebecca said, looking like she might cry.  “He told me he never wanted to speak to me again.  Then he locked himself in the men’s room and refused to come out.”

Rory sighed and shut the video off.  She’d seen enough.  She stood up and grabbed her sister’s arm.  “Come on,” she ordered briskly, clearly on a mission. “You’re going to show me which men’s room he’s in.”

Rory marched Rebecca down the hall.  A moment later they were sta
nding in front of the bathrooms.  They were the seldom-used ones down by the gym.  The men’s room was right across from the women’s washroom where Rory used to enjoy her mid-afternoon junk food binges. 

In a way, Rory could kind of relate to Troy’s need to hide. 

She’d never imagined she’d ever have anything in common with nerdy Troy Watson.

She banged on the door and got no answer.  She pushed it open with a little difficulty and the sound of what was probably a garbage can toppling over could be heard on the other side.  “Troy?” Rory called. 

“Go away!”

Rory
was undeterred.  “Come on,” she said, pulling her sister toward the door.

“But Rory,” Rebecca protested, “We can’t go in there.  It’s the men’s room!”

Unconcerned by that minor detail, Rory disregarded her sister’s objections.  Rebecca was always one to play by the book.  Rory, on the other hand, was of the opinion that policies were guidelines only and rules were sometimes meant to be broken.

She charged into the bathroom with Rebecca hesitantly trailing behind her. 

Troy was sitting on the bathroom floor next to the sinks, his back against the wall.  His scrawny knees were drawn to his chest and his face was as white as a sheet.  He scowled at the sisters when he saw them but it wasn’t exactly enough to dissuade Rory.  Troy’s anger was akin to that of a fluffy kitten arching its back and hissing:  it was more pathetic than threatening.

“I don’t want to talk to either of you,” Troy informed them in a shaky voice.  “Just go.”

Rebecca stopped in her tracks, looking like a deer caught in headlights.  “Rory,” she murmured, backing toward the door, “Come on.  He doesn’t want us here.” 

“No.”  Rory had given Grace her privacy when she was upset and look what had happened.  She wasn’t about to
abandon Troy.  Besides, Rory wasn’t the type to respect other people’s wishes if she thought she knew better.  Rebecca always said Rory was stubborn.  Rory preferred to think of herself as determined.

“Get
out
!” Troy shouted, louder than Rory even knew he could yell.  The sound reverberated off the walls, the echoes making it sound as though he was shouting at them over and over. 

Rebecca’s eyes widened and, mumbling an apology, she quickly exited the bathroom.

Rory, meanwhile, plunked down beside Troy.  She leaned back, resting her head and shoulders against the cold, hard cement wall.  She stretched her legs out in front of her, crossed her ankles and then took a deep breath.

She didn’t know exactly what she planned to say.  She rarely did.  She wasn’t one to carefully choose her words, making sure she was tactful and well-spoken at all times.  That was her sister’s thing.  Rory’s approach basically consisted of opening her mouth, letting a barrage of words spill out and hoping she’d express herself the way she intended r
ather than unintentionally causing offense.

“I didn’t post the video online and neither did Rebecca,” Rory said quietly
, with such earnestness that there was no question about her honesty.  “We’d never do that to you.” 

“If it wasn’t you and it wasn’t Rebecca, then who did it?” Troy demanded furiously.

“It must have been Carson,” Rory confessed.  “He’s the only other person who had the video.  When I sent it to him I had no idea he was planning to distribute it.”