Catalyst (The Best Days #1) (8 page)

In a way, Rory supposed they were.  Mya was Rebecca’s best friend and Sheck was Rory’s, but Rebecca and Rory had a special bond that
couldn’t be touched.  They were, after all, sisters. 

On August 7, that bond had, for some reason, felt especially tight.  In fact, Rory noted
wistfully, August 7 was probably the last time she and Rebecca had felt close.

Rory flipped to another random page in the journal and continued to read.

October 8

I don’t recognize my sister anymore.
  She’s like a stranger who just happens to live in the same house and have the same relatives as me.  She looks like this person I used to know, but clearly isn’t. 

I don’t know what happened to the
sister I used to have, but I have a sinking feeling that she’s dead.  The stranger in my house killed her. 

Sometimes I can’t stand the stranger in my house. 
She’s self-absorbed and spends all her time worrying about what other people think of her.  She’s obsessed with stupid fad diets and being popular.  She’s so shallow and self-serving and materialistic.  How can she even stand herself? 

What happened to
the Rory I used to spend every Friday night building forts and watching scary movies with?  We’d eat too much popcorn and be too scared to sleep, so would have pillow fights and camp out in our fort telling ghost stories all night instead. 

I miss that so much.

Even though I have nothing against him, sometimes I get jealous of Sheck.  Us kids have all been friends our whole lives but let’s face it:  Sheck’s closer to Rory than he is to me or Justin.  I’m pretty sure he gets to hang out with the real Rory…the old Rory.  (Maybe she’s not dead after all, but she’s definitely being held hostage.) 

Rory
doesn’t put on airs around Sheck the way she does with everyone else at school.  I guess it’s because they’ve known each other for so long that he’d call bullshit if she pulled a stunt like that.  But shouldn’t the same be true for me? 

It’s like he’s replaced me.  Rory and I used to be best friends but now we hardly know each other anymore. 
I guess I’m not “cool” enough for Rory but Sheck is.  It sucks.

At least
he’s a good person – not like those other idiots Rory’s always surrounded by at school.  What does she see in them, anyway?  I guess she hangs around with them because they’re “popular” – is that supposed to be appealing?  Yuck. 

What does it say about me that she
’s ditched me to hang out with the likes of Hilary Trudeau and Jeremy Beal?  That’s probably the most insulting part of it all.  They’re the most offensive, vile people I’ve ever met and yet my sister prefers them to me.

Rory’s embarrassed by me.  I can tell.  She doesn’t sit with me at lunch anymore or even so much as acknowledge me when she passes me in the hallway between classes.  It’s like she’s decided that it’s easiest to pretend I don’t exist. 

When it first started, I wondered what I’d done to deserve it.  Eventually I realized that it’s not me who’s the problem…it’s her.  She pretends to be someone she’s not around all those catty girls she eats “lunch” with every day in the cafeteria.  I don’t know why she bothers – is she really that insecure? 

What’s so
awful about being related to me, anyway?  So I don’t waste money on brand name clothes or suck up to the bitchy girls or swoon all over the idiot football players.  I’d rather go to the library than go shopping and I don’t go to parties.  Yeah, I’m a nerd, but why is that so bad? 

At least I’m real.  At least I’m not inconsiderate and self-serving and superficial.  I never would have ditched Rory the way she ditched me. 
Some days I wish we spent more time together, but then other days I look at what she’s turned into and think to myself that maybe it’s for the best that we don’t. 

I
hate the person she’s become.

Rory set the journal down and furiously blinked back tears.  The words on the page stung.  It hurt to know that Rebecca saw her that way, and it hurt even more to know th
at Rebecca was probably right. 

While Rory didn’t consider herself to be superficial or inconsiderate, she could understand why Rebecca
thought that of her.  She
had
allowed her pursuit of popularity to govern her every move – to the point of ignoring her own, less popular sister at school.  It wasn’t right.  Rory was misguided, yes, but she wasn’t the selfish narcissist Rebecca’s journal made her out to be.  She felt bad about what she’d done and who she’d become.

Rory had known all along that it wasn’t right, but had shoved her feelings of guilt to the side, telling herself there would be plenty of time to make things up to Rebecca later.  Yes, Rory was popular, but at what cost? 

She missed her sister.

Remembering the task at hand, Rory thumbed through the journal until she r
eached the end.   Rebecca’s most recent entry had been written three days ago.  Rory’s brow furrowed as she zeroed in on the words halfway down the page:

There’s a huge party planned for this Friday at the new girl, Grace’s house.  Rory, of course, desperately wants to go.  It probably has something to do with that moron Carson. 

If he’s anything like the rest of the football team (and why wouldn’t he be?) then he’s bad news.  Rory should stay far, far away from him but unfortunately common sense seems to be something my sister lacks.  Her judgment seriously sucks; just look at the snotty girls she calls her friends.  What’s she thinking?

I told Mom that Grace’s parents aren’t going to be home.  I acted like I’d just blurted it out without thinking, but that wasn’t true.  I said it on purpose.  I wanted Mom to tell Rory she couldn’t go.
  I know how desperate Rory is to go to that stupid party and yet I went out of my way to keep it from happening.

I don’t know why I did it.  Maybe part of me is angry that Rory leaves me out of everything.  Even though I don’t want to go to parties, it would be nice if she at least asked me to tag along. 
High school changed my sister.  One day I was good enough to hang out with and the next, even though
I
hadn’t changed, I was suddenly an embarrassment. 

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt.

I think along with revenge, I also subconsciously hoped that it would mean Rory had to stay home and hang out with me.  Maybe we could revive our scary movie Friday night ritual.  Oh, and the fort...are we too old for forts?  Screw it, I want a fort.

Sometimes I
want to strangle my sister, but she’s still my sister.  I keep hoping maybe we can be friends again someday, although that’s probably naive of me.  One thing’s for sure:  Rory won’t want to be friends if she finds out I’m sabotaging her social life.  

I’ve been deleting the messages
Hilary leaves for Rory on our answering machine.  I don’t care that she suddenly became Rory’s new best girlfriend this year.  I think she’s a self-serving bitch and I don’t trust her. 

Back before Mya moved away,
Hilary used to always make fun of her.  She’d call Mya fat and make mooing noises under her breath whenever Mya walked past her in the hallway. It was cringe-worthy.  Mya pretended not to hear, but I know she did.  I could see it in her eyes.

I always wanted to tell
Hilary to knock it off but was worried that making a scene might just embarrass Mya even more, so I pretended not to hear the comments.   I wonder if that was the right thing to do.  I always felt horrible afterward for not standing up to Mya.  Maybe I was a bad friend.

Speaking of horrible, Jeremy is awful to Troy.
I mean yeah, Troy is a little – okay, a
lot
– nerdy and kind of makes himself a target, but it still isn’t right.  Since when does being slightly awkward make it okay for someone to make your life a living hell?  I don’t even take the bus anymore because seeing Jeremy’s antics during the ride home makes me sick.

Jeremy is a
lways pushing Troy into lockers, calling him names and threatening to beat him up.  It makes me so angry because Troy keeps to himself and doesn’t bother anyone.  He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. 

I don’t know why Rory hangs around with Jeremy and all his stupid friends who just egg him on. 
Doesn’t she see what they’re really like?  She must…it’s pretty hard to miss how obnoxious they are.  I guess she just doesn’t care.  It makes me ashamed to be related to her. 

Rory
’s hands were shaking.  She felt hurt, angry and betrayed all at once.  Maybe she hadn’t quite been herself since starting high school but it wasn’t fair for Rebecca to just write her off because she’d been struggling to find her place in the confusing and complex world of high school cliques.  Resentment washed over her.  Where did Rebecca get off acting like she was Miss Perfect?

Suddenly Rory heard a sneeze right outside her bedroom door. 
It was quickly followed by two more.  Rebecca knocked lightly on Rory’s door, causing it to open.  “Hi,” she mumbled, bleary eyed, her voice sounding nasally and terrible. 

Rory quickly shoved her sist
er’s journal under a pillow.  Then she jumped to her feet, strategically placing herself in front of the bed as an extra layer of protection.  “What do you want?” she demanded snarkily.

Rebecca looked momentarily surprised by the icy reception.  “
I’m sick.  I won’t be able to go to the pardy tomorrow, so I brod your clodes back.”  She shuffled into Rory’s room, afghan draped tightly around her slender shoulders.  She was holding the clothes that Rory had lent her for the party the next night.  “Here,” she thrust them toward her sister. 

Rory took the clothes and threw them on her cluttered desk.  The top immediately slid off the pile and onto the floor, where it lay in a crumpled heap.  Rory looked unconcerned and didn’t bother picking it up again.  At the heart of it, that was the difference between the sisters:  Rebecca would have immediately hung the clothes up in her meticulously organized closet rather than carelessly tossing them aside.

“Whad a slob,” Rebecca commented, leaning forward to pick up the top.  She set it gingerly atop the pile on the desk, and then shivered visibly.  “I’m so code,” she complained, pulling the afghan closer.  “Cad I steal anodder blankhut from your bed?” 

“No!” Rory shouted too loudly, but she wasn’t quick enough. Rebecca leaned forward and pulled a blanket off the partially-made bed. 
It caused two pillows to tumble to the floor.  One of them was the pillow that was hiding the stolen journal. 

Both sisters froze and gawked at it in
horrified disbelief. 

“You have my jourdal.”  Rebecca stared at her sister incredulously.  “You took my jourdal out of my room ad read id?  I can’
t believe you.  Who
are
you?!”

A sudden wave of guilt washed over Rory.  “Look, I’m sorry for reading it,” she told her sister earnestly.  “I know I shouldn’t have done
that.  But Rebecca...”

Rebecca’s eyes narrowed.  “
I don’t want to hear it!” she interrupted, suddenly sounding more angry than sick.  She spun on her heel and tried to leave but Rory grabbed onto the corner of the afghan wrapped around her sister’s shoulders to prevent her from leaving.

“I get it. 
I do,” Rory insisted, her tone pleading.  “I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy.  I know.  But where do you get off meddling in my social life?  You delete messages Hilary leaves me from the answering machine, you get me grounded so I can’t go to the party…”  Suddenly Rory’s eyes narrowed.  “Has Carson called here asking for me?” she demanded, anger boiling up inside her.  “You’d just
love
to keep me from dating him, wouldn’t you?”

Coughing violently, Rebecca shook her head and held up a hand.  When she’d regained her composure, she gave her sister a look of such profound disappointment that Rory immediately wanted to crawl under the bed and hide.  “How can you be so selfish?”
Rebecca questioned her sister sadly, her voice clear and strong.  “I thought you were about to apologize for the way you’ve been treating me but instead all you care about is yourself.”

“
Apologize?” Rory repeated, her shame quickly turning to indignation.  “You’re the one who’s been trying to sabotage my social life,” Rory pointed out.  “You act all self-righteous but you’re probably just jealous because you don’t have any friends.”

Looking wounded, Rebecca muttered, “I wouldn’t want
‘friends’ like yours anyway.”

Throwing her hands up, Rory sighed in frustration.  Her sister would never get it.  “Well if you
won’t tell me the truth, I’ll find it myself.”  She tried to snatch the journal out of Rebecca’s hands but even while ill, her sister had catlike reflexes and managed to move it out of the way at the last second. 

Rory dove for the journal again
, ignoring Rebecca’s protests.  This time she got it.  Triumphantly, she jumped onto her bed, holding her sister’s innermost thoughts and confessions above her head like a trophy. 

“Put it down!” Rebecca
wheezed.  Her voice was raspy and her throat sounded painfully raw.  She made a grab for the journal but missed, tripping over the afghan that had fallen to her feet.