Catch My Breath (14 page)

R
ECORDING
was nice. It took his mind off things when he could focus on blending his voice with the other guys. The video diary wasn’t quite so nice. Danny squished right next to him as usual, touched and poked and did all the stuff that was so painfully
Danny
. Elliot didn’t know how to handle it. The other guys must’ve noticed how weird he was acting. They looked over at Elliot quite a lot, and there were more than a few relieved sighs when the cameras stopped rolling. It wasn’t his best effort, and for how much Elliot usually hated video diaries, that was really saying something.

“Hey, let’s go hang by the pool,” Webb said. He was usually quieter than the rest, but even he must’ve felt the awkward from a hundred miles away and wanted to fill the quiet void.

“Sounds good,” Danny said. “I’ll be right out.”

“Me too,” Tate agreed.

Elliot couldn’t do it. Couldn’t do even another minute of the guys and the joking and not knowing where he stood with the one person who had the ability to crush him. “I think I’m going to go across the street to the beach. I’ll be back in a little while.”

Reece’s gaze was on him. As far as Elliot was concerned, just like Chris, Reece saw way too much. “I’ll go with you. Wouldn’t want some random beach rapist to get our Elli-bean.”

Elliot groaned. “A forever thank you for getting thousands of people to call me that, by the way. It’s fantastic.”

Reece chuckled and threw an arm over Elliot’s shoulders. “You love me.”

That seemed to be Reece’s answer for everything. “You’re lucky I do,” Elliot mumbled.

Reece laughed out loud. “And what are
you
going to do to
me
?” He wasn’t big, but Reece was scrappy. Elliot was pretty sure he hadn’t grown up in the sedate middle-class neighborhood Elliot had come from.

“Nothing. C’mon if you’re coming with me.” He had to get out of the stifling atmosphere of the house. He wanted to be alone, but Reece was okay. He didn’t stare knowingly like Webb or ask a million mothering questions like Tate. And he wasn’t Danny. Elliot didn’t know how he was going to handle Danny—’cause eventually he’d have to.

“Y
OU
cool?” Reece asked as they made their way down the rickety wood staircase toward the beach. It was breezy that night, and even if his mind was racing a mile a minute, the sound of the waves did help. He knew they would. Elliot had always loved the beach. Even with the pain-in-the-ass commute from Palmdale, he’d always tried to make the drive at least every few weeks.

“Sure. Why?”

“Don’t know. You just seemed squirrely to me today. You and Danny are okay, right?”

Maybe.
“Of course. Why would you ask that?”

“’Cause on most days you guys are barely far enough apart to stick a piece of paper between you. Today you sat by Webb in the studio.”

Elliot tried for a casual laugh. “Glad you’re keeping tabs on me, dude. It’s really fine. I promise.”

Maybe if they just slipped into the next day and the day after that. Avoided the talk Danny had said they’d have, then it really would be fine. Elliot could try to get over his dumb crush, Danny would hopefully not make it any worse, and life could move on.

Elliot thought that was a great plan. Hopefully it would work.

“It’s colder down here than I thought it would be. You wanna go back up to the house?”

Reece nodded. “Yeah. I’m beat, honestly. I wouldn’t mind getting some shut-eye.”

E
VEN
if he was tired from the long day, there wasn’t a chance Elliot was going to fall asleep. He was antsy and anxious, shaky. Weird. It had happened before. Elliot didn’t know how to explain his weird moods, especially not to someone who didn’t live in his head, but he had to talk to a friend. Someone from his old life who wasn’t his mother. They’d gotten back from the beach a little while ago, but he wasn’t relaxed. Reece’s knowing looks, the questions, the fact that no matter how much he tried to talk himself out of thinking about it, he still couldn’t get Danny’s kiss out of his mind—none of it helped. So he texted Sara. A much-needed distraction and a friendly voice on the outside.

Hey….

At least she replied quickly.

Elliott?!?!? What’s up chicken butt?

Elliott snorted.

Just the typical. On a TV show. Recording my first album. You know.

Remind me to feel sorry for your super boring life. Seriously… how are you doing?

Elliot didn’t know how to explain it. He’d never told Sara about the few guys he’d kissed, never told her that he even thought about kissing guys. How could he start with his crush on Danny?

El? You still there?

Yeah. I’m just… well, you know how I get anxious, right?

Course. Usually there’s a reason when you do. What’s wrong?

It’s hard to explain….

Can I call?

Elliot nodded. Then he realized that she obviously couldn’t see him. He decided to call Sara instead. They really weren’t supposed to use their cells to call out in case they gave away stuff from the show, but he wasn’t going to talk about the show. He was… well, he wasn’t sure what he was going to talk about. It was still better if nobody heard his phone ring.

“Hi,” he said quietly when Sara answered. “I can’t talk long. We’re not really supposed to. It’s nice to hear a familiar voice though.”

“You do sound kinda wound up. What’s the matter?”

“It’s just… weird, you know? Everything. Like the cameras are on us constantly, trying to find stuff that’s not there, like me and Savannah. I know I brought that on myself, but we’re seriously just friends.”

“I don’t think anyone watching really thinks you’re into her.” Sara sounded like she wanted to ask something else. Elliot had learned lately that most questions were ones he didn’t want to answer. He decided to just keep talking instead.

“So anyway, yeah. It’s just weird and stressful and it’s hard not seeing you and my parents, you know? I’m not used to being away from home. Guess I have to get used to it, right?”

“And that’s the only thing that’s bothering you?”

Elliot’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve gotta ask. I mean, yeah… I have to. What’s going on with you and Danny, El?”

“Nothing. We’re really good friends.”
As far as efforts at convincing people go, that sucked the big one.

“And you’re a really bad liar. Even over the phone. Try again.”

“Seriously, nothing.” And then he just went for it. “I wish….” He sighed.

Sara squealed so loud that Elliot had to hold the phone away from his ear. “I freaking effing knew it! Jenna said there was no way you were into guys, but I have
never
seen you look at anyone like that. It’s soooo cute.”

“Yeah. Adorable.” Elliot rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. Talking about Danny wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he called his oldest friend, but oddly it felt good.

“Nothing at all has happened? Nothing? ’Cause the sexual tension between you two? Holy hell.”

“We’ve kissed. Once,” Elliot whispered.

“Ohmygod when?”

“Last night. And now things are weird.”

“And
that’s
really why you wanted to talk to me. It’s a hell of a reason to be anxious, El. I’ll give you that.”

“Yeah. He said earlier that we’d talk, but I don’t want to get the ‘let’s be friends’ speech. I’d rather just pretend it didn’t happen and go back to the way things were, you know?”

Sara snorted. “You and Danny are
not
just friends. Even if you’d never touched once, you’re not friends. I promise.”

“I just don’t want to hear it if he’s not into me too.”

“I think you should talk to him.” She had that voice on her. The “Sara knows best” voice. Elliot knew it well.

“I think I shouldn’t.”
I think I’m terrified to talk about it.

“
Elliot
.” Sarah sighed.

Elliot heard water running in the bathroom on the other side of his door. “I’d better go.”

It wasn’t like any of the guys would narc on him for using the phone, but he didn’t need any of them to hear the conversation they’d been having. He was already worried they might notice too much about the way he looked at Danny. Obviously Sara had.

“Okay. And, hon, I know it never works when I tell you this, but don’t stress. It’ll be fine.”

It didn’t work. Even if he knew Sara was right and he shouldn’t pace around the room getting himself more and more freaked out over what was probably nothing, it never, ever worked. In the end, he just sat on the edge of his bed and started shredding at the strings on one of his bracelets. He hated when he got all spazzy and couldn’t focus on anything but how anxious he was. He hated being awkward and uncool and unsure of how he should handle things. He should be downstairs laughing with everyone, chill like Danny since that kiss was clearly not a big deal. Instead, he was freaking out over not being at home and worried that he’d ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Later….

Every time he thought about Danny whispering that in his ear, Elliot’s stomach turned again.

“I
T
’
S
getting late. We’ve gotta be up so early tomorrow.” Tate pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it for the fifth time in less than a half an hour.

“It’s nine. Exactly how old are you?” Danny asked with an eye roll.

They were going to have to work on loosening Tate up. He’d have pushed the issue more if he wasn’t so worried about Elliot at the moment, at the beach with Reece, probably all mad at him because of the kiss that shouldn’t have been, but was, and had been so amazing…. Danny had to hold back a groan. What was his problem? He needed to do something. Yes. That always helped whenever he started to think too much.

“We should play a prank,” Danny whispered. “The fans would love it, and it would be fun.”

Webb chuckled. He was a surprising partner in crime for Danny’s many schemes. He even went for the ones Elliot turned down. “What are we doing?”

“Guys…,” Tate sighed. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.” Danny grinned. “Don’t be lame, Tater-tot.”

Tate punched Webb. “I’m never telling you anything again.”

“What?” Webb laughed. “It’s cute that your mom calls you that. I had to tell someone!”

“And you picked
Danny
to tell?” Webb snorted into his hand.

“I won’t call you that ever again if you help us prank The Pixies.”

“Since when is the prank on the girls?” Tate asked.

“Uh, since always? Reece and El aren’t here, the OCD guys would beat us down. I’m seriously not going to mess with Isaiah, and Chris is too chill. It wouldn’t even be fun. It’s gotta be the girls.”

“Fine. What are we going to do?”

Danny thought for a minute. “Okay, here’s the plan. The girls are out tonight at that meet and greet with fans, right? So we sneak into their room and tie all their clothes together. Maybe string them along the ceilings in their rooms like streamers.” Danny chuckled. It was tame, but it would annoy the hell out of them.

Even Tate had to laugh. “And I assume we’re doing this on camera?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Of course. Let’s go find one of the night cameramen.” There weren’t nearly as many there after dinner, but the house always had one or two around in case anything good happened.

Danny led Tate and Webb and the cameraman up to the suite shared by The Pixies. They were giggling under their breaths and whispering plans as they went. It was fun, relaxing, even if he did wish Reece and Elliot were there to join in the stupidity. It took way longer to tie all the girls’ clothes together than they thought, especially with them laughing and throwing things at each other the whole time. But eventually they did manage to get them in long streamers that they used duct tape to string along the ceiling. By the end, the girls’ room looked like some weird cloth party, and Danny, Tate, and Webb could barely breathe from laughing.

“We’ve gotta get outta here before they catch us,” Tate said, hauling in a long breath.

“Like they’re not going to know who it was,” Webb retorted.

“They won’t know
which
ones of us it was. Other than Danny.”

Danny smiled. He was usually in the middle of most house pranks. He didn’t mind taking credit. Or blame? Credit. He grinned. Definitely credit. He was proud of his work. The Pixies were going to have like twenty cows.

“Out to the pool?”

The three boys scampered down the stairs and didn’t relax until they were poolside, trying to hold in their laughter.

“Chelsea is gonna kill us.”

“I’m more scared of Andrea. Did you see her put Chris in a headlock the other day?”

Tate snorted. “We can take ’em.” He glanced over his shoulder, though, and ruined the effect of his bravado. “It probably is best if we disappear to our rooms before they get home though.”

Webb nodded. “Agreed. I don’t want to be anywhere near ground zero when they find it.”

Their rooms. Elliot. Danny was nervous all of a sudden. “Yeah. Let’s go to bed.” He tried to sound casual. Totally not a big deal. Elliot might still be at the beach with Reece. Right? Not likely. The chances of him being up in their room were good. It was late. They’d have to talk. Danny stood, though. Tate and Webb were right. It was best if they disappeared before The Pixies came home.

H
E
TIPTOED
up the stairs to the room he shared with Elliot. He didn’t know what he was going to say. The kiss had changed something between them, and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. He’d wanted to kiss Elliot so bad, so, so bad, and it seemed like Elliot was kissing back. But then…. He winced. What happened after wasn’t so good. He’d looked away because he was scared, and Elliot took it the wrong way and took off and things had been so awkward. He’d gotten up to go downstairs and talk to Elliot about a million times but then always sat back on his bed because he didn’t know what to do when he found him.