Cecilia's Mate (3 page)

Draven
rested a hand on her back as he waited.

She
bowed her head to her brother before she allowed Draven to lead her away from
the home. Before they were fully out of her brother’s earshot, she added, “And
please, ask them to create me clothing more like Sadie’s? I hate what Mother
has made me wear. And give Sadie a hug for me?”

Draven
hustled her out to the street and into one of the conveyances sitting idle.
Once in he punched in their destination, the port, before leaning back next to
her. Letting out a breath, he patted his pockets, then cursed. He slapped a
hand on the control pad, leaped out of the conveyance, and ran back toward the
house. Moments later he was back and they were underway. “Sorry, I forgot I
dropped it when we ran into each other. Give me a moment if you would,” he
said, putting the communications device in place at his ear. “Lyncon, Draven
here. I’m running behind schedule and will be late getting into port. Do not
let the shippers leave. I know they’ll whine, and snivel about their schedules,
but abuse Bracken’s good name a little and threaten them if you have to. If
they aren’t there when I get there, you won’t need to worry about the colonel.
I’ll bloody well kill you. You understand me? Good.” He pulled the
communication piece from his ear and dropped it into his pocket.

“I’m
sorry. I didn’t realize I made you drop that.” Or be late. She was just one hot
mess right after another when it came to him it seemed. Now that she thought
about it, she recalled hearing something dropping to the ground. She cared for
this man, deeply, but she appeared to cause him more trouble than not and that
bothered her a great deal. “Are you sure you won’t get into trouble?”

“Don’t
worry about it. Lyncon will keep them there.” Reaching out, he put his hand
lightly over hers. “I’ll be fine, Cecilia. You really don’t have to worry about
me. Now what else is going on with you right now? You seem very out of sorts,
and not at all like the composed young lady I’ve come to know.”

“I
honestly don’t know how to answer that,” Cece admitted bluntly. “There are so
many things going through my mind at the moment, and I’m afraid that it would
upset you if I were to tell you the truth.”

“Oh,”
he said with a growing frown. After a moment he wiped it away and put on that
damned blank mask all of the military seemed so good at. “We wouldn’t want
that, would we?” he said. He withdrew his hand and turned his attention out the
window, effectively leaving her to her own thoughts.

She
felt cold and ill when he did that, but it was how their relationship seemed
doomed to play out. He would never see her as anything other than his friend’s
baby sister, and she would never have the backbone to tell him she was in love
with him. Yep, fate screwed up on giving her to him. He deserved so much better
than her. He deserved someone that would always be there for him, someone that
didn’t hide in the shadows. He deserved a strong woman to be at his side, and
not the shadow mouse she tended to be more often than not. She wasn’t good
enough for him.

She
looked out the window on the other side of the conveyance, her bag between the
two of them. She itched to draw him again, but she couldn’t allow him to see.
He could never know that she spent her time dreaming of him, wanting him and
desperate for him. That familiar pain was back, which had her rubbing a hand
against her chest and the ache that had settled there.

They
were about halfway through their journey when he suddenly turned to look at
her. “You know what, no, not this time. I want you to damn well tell me what
the fuck is going on, Cecilia.” His attention fell from her for a second, and
in a blur of movement he suddenly had her sketch pad in hand. How in the world
he so smoothly pulled it out of her case, she didn’t know, but his next words
shocked her to the core. “Care to tell me what this is about?”

Chapter
Three

Cecilia
was stunned when he swore. It was the first time he had ever been so vehement
in his words with her. Weirdly enough, it made her want to tell him everything.
Everything. Then he’d pulled out the sketch pad, which was open to the latest
drawing she was doing of him, and gasped.

“Draven,
I.” She paused and had to think of what to say. She couldn’t find the words.
Habit had her looking down at her hands. Then suddenly she didn’t want to be
the shy mouse anymore. With him, only him, she wanted to be that woman she
really was. The woman whose paintings sold for millions of credits. That
unknown woman that their world was dying to learn more about. Once more she
looked at him, took in the visage of the man that was fourteen years her
senior. She knew there would be issues they would have to overcome. He was
older than her and had slightly different views on life. Especially with his
military career. However, one of the best parts of his being older than her was
the fact that he had already done everything that a younger mate would have
thought to do. He was more settled. He would be hers and hers alone and that
experience he’d garnered over the years would be all for her as well.

He
was handsome, almost a full foot taller than she was, and had the best eyes she
had ever seen. They were very dark obsidian black with a yellow ring around the
centers. It was amazing, the way that his eyes would shift. Taking another deep
breath, she said, “I’ve known since I was nine that you were it for me. I’ve
dreamed of you. You were twenty-three and my brother’s best friend.” She
swallowed, hard. “That day when I first met you, you had reached down and
pulled me from the mud puddle Catherine pushed me into. From the moment you
touched me I knew you were far more than just my brother’s friend and second. I
knew you were mine.” She took a deep breath, then another. “I’ve always hidden
my skills with art and drawing because it would have been one more thing that
my mother and sisters could take from me. I made sure the good stuff was always
hidden from them. I had one of the maid’s children doing the artwork that
Mother trundled out as mine.” She shrugged. “But these
…
these
are for me only. In these books I’ve drawn what my heart’s always wanted,
always needed.” Him. She waited now, needed to know just how stunned he was and
when he was going to push her off to the side. Again.

“By
the stars, woman,
it’s
bloody well taken you long
enough,” he muttered. Shaking his head, he flipped through the book, his
eyebrows going up a couple of times. She was pretty sure she knew which ones
got that reaction from him. Definitely not ones she’d ever wanted her family to
see, that was for sure. “I was wondering when you’d actually admit to it
instead of hiding behind that facade you put on.”

“It’s
been the only thing saving me from heartache,” she admitted with a shrug. “So
what now?” She was certain he was going to push her off on someone else the
first moment he had a chance. It was typically how it happened. “As much as I
want you, as much as I need you in my life, I won’t force it. I know I’m not
what you were hoping for as your other half. I wish I were. I truly do, but I
won’t
cause
you trouble. I promise.” She itched to
reach out and put her hand in his, to see if his hands were as strong as they
looked. She wanted to see if he would wrap her in his arms again, wanted to
feel his strong muscles pulling her tightly.

He
gave a snort at that and shot her a look. “You’ve been giving me trouble since
you were nine, Cecilia Kauller. Not like I actually expect you to stop now.”
Flipping the book closed, he dropped it back into her bag, then moved the bag
onto the floor. In another quick move he tugged her in close, throwing her
off-balance so she was leaning heavily on him. “Who are you to decide what I do
and don’t want or hope for in my life?”

“What
do you mean?” she asked, not daring to hope. “And what is it that you hope for
in your life, Draven?” She lifted a hand and let her fingers lightly trail over
his short dark brown hair.

“For
my bond mate to finally admit to wanting me as much as I’ve wanted her for way
too long. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been resisting claiming you,
Cecilia? Especially given how often I’ve been around you.” His gaze drifted
over her face, then lower until it seemed to get snagged on something. Lifting
his free hand, he traced a finger over the top of her breast. Right where,
oh
crap
!

“I
didn’t realize it was as hard for you as it has been for me. I’ve not said
anything because you always seemed to want to push me away instead of have me
anywhere close to you.”

His
admission shocked her. She never thought that he might feel the same for her as
she felt for him. She had always hoped he would feel the way she did but was
also more realistic than that. She glanced down at where he was looking and
felt her face heat. “I
…
” God she couldn’t seem to
think at that moment. “You have always been the one and only man I’ve wanted. I
made sure the mark was there so that I could at least feel you close to me. If
only in my mind.” Her top was pulled down just enough so that the script with
his name over her breast was clear for him to see.

He
gave a low grunt, his finger still tracing the lettering on her skin. “You
might be surprised to know I’ve had your name on me since the day after we
first met. I’ll show it to you soon. If I survive your brother and his reaction
to finding out we’re bond mates.”

“You
will,” she assured him. “He’ll see just how good you are for me and how much I
already care about you.” She had so much more to tell Draven, secrets that her
brother didn’t even know, but that would wait. This moment was only for them.
“What happens now? With us? I want everything, Draven. I greedily want every
single moment in time with you and to heck with what everyone thinks. This is
about us, right?”

“Of
course this is about us,” he said softly. Moving his hand up to her cheek, he
stroked his thumb slowly over her skin. Tipping up her chin, he lowered his
head until he was brushing his lips gently over hers. “What comes next is
whatever we want, together. First, though, we need to make you safe. No one can
find you. You will be staying on the destroyer when we leave port, little one.
I’m not letting you out of my sight again if I can damn well help it.”

“I’m
going to hold you to that,” she said with a soft smile. “And yes, getting to
the destroyer and getting safe are both magnificent things. I can’t go back
there. It would destroy me if I had to go back to that house and be forced into
what they want to force me into.”

“You’re
not getting forced into anything, Cecilia. Bracken said it, your father has no
more guardianship over you. Anything he may have signed, or promised, is null
and void with the marshal. And if it doesn’t fall within the marshal’s office’s
guidelines, then it doesn’t exist legally. But it wouldn’t have mattered. You
wouldn’t be going back there, anyway. Because they could very well hide you
somewhere that no one could ever find you, and I won’t take that chance. You
are mine, no one else’s, just mine.” He pressed another kiss to her lips and
tucked her in close to him for the rest of their ride to the port.

The
kiss he gave her was her third, and she wanted more. But when he tucked her in
close to him she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I think I could
get used to having you holding me like this.”

“I’ll
hold you any time you wish,” he told her. “We’re almost to the port. Because of
the entrance we’re going through you won’t need to be logged in. But keep your
head down. Dig through your bag or something until we’re past the cameras. No
need to make it easy on anyone to figure out you’re here. I’ll call Bracken
once we’re on board and have him get Sadie to wipe our entrance off the feeds.”

“I
hadn’t thought anything about being surreptitious at all.” She was stunned that
he could think of things like that. It was good that he could, but it also
spoke volumes about the things he had gone through in his life that things like
that came naturally to him and seemed to be almost second nature.

“You
are mine to protect,” he said. Rubbing his hand over her arm, he gave her a
squeeze. “We’re here. When you get out of the conveyance keep your head down
and start digging through your bag until I tell you otherwise. I’ll guide you
through so you don’t run into anyone or anything, so don’t worry about that part.”
Their vehicle was slowing down, turning slightly, then settled into a marked
spot where it stopped.

“I
understand,” she said and did as he had instructed when they got out of the
conveyance. She moved when he put his hand to her back and allowed him to steer
her through the area and onto the ship. She kept her gaze on the ground and
counted the cracks in the sidewalk, smiling as she spotted a flower growing up
out of the concrete. She realized then that where life was concerned there
would always be a way, an odd thought, but hers all the same. When he told her
she could look up, she did just that.

He
led her into a tramp and got her settled into the copilot seat before he
settled in the pilot’s seat. “Control, this is Ackermann, heading up to receive
shipment of supplies.”

“You
are cleared to go, Ackermann. Stay out of lane six. We have a biggie coming
through there. Safe journeys.”

“Copy
that, control.” He turned off the vid, then got them off the ground and moving.
“Have you been out in space before?” he asked, throwing her a curious look.

“Never.
I’ve never even been out of our province. This is the first time I’ve done so
many things, and it’s very exciting.” His kiss was the first, and if she were
lucky, she would be able to experience many firsts with him. “I can’t wait.
I’ve always wanted to go into space. I’ve painted so many out of the world
images but I’ve never seen it,” she blurted without even realizing that she was
giving him her deepest secret.

He
shot her another look. “Well it’s an interesting sensation, especially that
first time. A lot of people don’t realize how it affects them until they get
sick. If you feel any nausea once we’re underway see medical quickly. They can
give you something to counteract the effects until your body becomes
acclimated.” She nodded, all smiles, moving so that she could see everything
and take it all in. “This is amazing. Do you think we’ll be able to experience
zero gravity? It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Please?”

“There’s
a large room on the destroyer that has no gravity in it. We use it for training
of various simulations. I’ll get you clearance to go in there if you want, or
take you myself if you’d prefer.” He made some adjustments on the panel in
front of him, then pointed. “There’s your brother’s ship. We’ll be coming in
from underneath her, so this is pretty much the only time you’ll get to see the
outside, at least in profile.”

“Will
you go with me?” she asked, reaching out to put her hand on his arm. “This is
the start of firsts for me. Will you be with me for all of them?”

“As
many as you want me to be there for.” He gave her a crooked smile before
returning his attention to what he was doing. They slipped into the shadow of
the large destroyer, then underneath its bulk. The hull of the ship went
whizzing past the screen at a pace that told her they were going faster than it
would first appear. The tramp banked slightly, and a section of the hull slid
open. Draven pressed a few more controls and they eased up through the hole of
the hull and settled onto the interior deck. “We need to wait a few minutes for
it to seal and for the atmosphere to be returned before we step off. Let’s head
to the ramp so we can get moving. I really need to go sign for this damned
delivery.”

She
was so excited. She’d practically been dancing in her seat when he had taken
her into the tramp to head up to the destroyer but what she saw had her in
total awe. “This is amazing,” she said with a grin and moved along with him.
“You did that so effortlessly, like you’ve done this a hundred times before.”
She lowered her voice to a whisper. “While we’re waiting
…
will
you hold me?” She wanted to be back in his arms. “The views, they’re exquisite,
but the sensations of moving up and through space are a little unsettling, even
if they’re exciting.”

“I’ve
done it at least triple that many times,” he said. Opening his arms, he wrapped
them around her when she stepped in close. “All you have to do is ask, little
one. I will always hold you whenever you need it.”

She
took in a deep breath and sighed, feeling the coarse fabric of his uniform
jacket against her cheek. “I’m glad I have you to lean on now.” She looked up
at him and heard the seals starting to open. Before she could stop herself, she
said, “You were my first kiss. You will be my first everything. Thank you.”

His
lips curled into a full smile, the first she’d ever seen from him. “I shouldn’t
be so pleased by that, but I am.” His fingers were warm against her face as he
held her for a light kiss. Then he drew back, tucking her hand in his arm, and
led her off the tramp. They went out into the corridor of the destroyer, where
he veered to the right, and from there she was lost as he wound them through
the ship, up a couple levels, and to another set of double doors that she was
guessing led to a similar landing bay as the one they’d arrived in. “Stay out
here so the shippers don’t see you. If they don’t see you they can’t recall you
to anyone. I won’t be more than a few minutes, and then I’ll take you up top
and show you around a little more.”