Change of Heart (11 page)

The next two days with Jase would be bliss,
and she’d have more sweet memories to tuck inside her heart for the
lonely, hungry times in Chicago.

A knock sounded at her door.

“Aunt Marietta, I’m ready to bake
cookies.”

She smiled, went to the door and opened it.
“Already, Zack? Don’t you want to eat breakfast first?”

“I’ll have cookies for breakfast. The kind
with cinnamon on them.”

She hunched down next to him. “Cookies for
breakfast? I don’t know, Zack. Don’t you want some meat and
potatoes?”

He shook his head until his brains must have
started rattling. “Cookies--cookies with cinnamon on them.”

She stood up and folded her arms. “Why not?
It’s Christmas. Little boys’ wishes should come true at
Christmastime. If you want cookies for breakfast, that’s what we’ll
have.” She unfolded her arms and pinched his cheek. “I need to get
dressed and wash up, and so do you. I’ll meet you in the kitchen,
and we’ll get started on the cookies.”

~ * ~

Jase had tried all day to get his work
finished so he could join Marietta and Zack in the kitchen, but
there was just too much to do. Zack had begged him to help make
Christmas cookies. Jase knew he’d be all thumbs trying to bake
pastries--he could fry side meat, steak and potatoes just fine, but
cookies were a little too delicate for his big fingers--but he’d do
anything to spend time with the two most important people in his
life.

When he’d finally finished the necessary
work, he went to the bunkhouse to wash up and put on clean clothes,
then he went to face what he expected to be one disappointed little
boy in his kitchen. He was sure Zack would be upset that he hadn’t
come earlier to help. Jase went in the front door and wiped snow
from his boots. As he hung his winter wear in the front closet, he
heard laughter sing through his house from the kitchen. The warmth
of it touched his heart and made him instantly regret not coming
inside sooner.

Quietly, he made his way to the kitchen.
Marietta and Zack hadn’t heard him come in. He stood in obscurity
watching a sight more heart-stoppingly beautiful than any he’d ever
imagined. The woman and boy in his kitchen brought the entire house
to life with a warmth that rivaled any known by any hearth.

“You’re putting too much butter in the
icing,” Marietta warned Zack.

“You have to have a lot of butter, Aunt
Marietta. I saw you sneak some carrot juice in there to make it
that yellow color. If there’s not enough butter, it might taste
like carrots.”

Marietta placed a hand on her hip. “It won’t
taste like carrots, but it
will
taste like butter if you put
too much in the icing.”

“I like butter.” He put another dollop of fat
in the frosting bowl.

Marietta drew in an exasperated breath and
smiled at Zack as she walked over to him. She hugged him and kissed
his cheek. “Well, it’s Christmas, Zack. A time when wishes should
come true. You make the icing any way you like it.”

He dropped his spoon into the frosting and
threw his arms around his aunt. “I love you, Aunt Marietta.”

Jase turned away and leaned against the wall.
He thanked God for the love Marietta shared with Zack. This could
have been a miserable Christmas for Zack without a woman in his
life. Little boys needed loving women in their lives.

He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
So did grown men.

The choice he’d been agonizing over was easy
now. If Marietta would have him, he was going to marry her. He
straightened up and walked into the kitchen.

Marietta caught sight of him the minute he
entered the bright-yellow room. Her heart quickened when she saw
his handsome face. “I’m glad to see you finally made it, Jase. Zack
and I are icing the last of the Christmas cookies.”

Zack put down his spoon and licked icing off
his hands before running to Jase. “You got here at last. I shoulda
helped you with the chores then you coulda come inside to help us
sooner.”

Marietta had been watching for Jase
throughout the day. She wanted him with her every moment possible
until she had to leave for Chicago. He was with her now, and that
was all that mattered.

When the cookie baking was finished, she
served the pot of stew she’d been simmering all day for supper.
Jase ate heartily, but Zack only picked at his food.

“Too many cookies?” Marietta asked, teasing
Zack.

The boy stirred his spoon around his plate.
“I think I’m just too tired.” He looked at Jase. “I think cookie
baking is just as tiring as rounding up cattle. What do you think,
Jase?”

Marietta saw Jase hold back a smile. “Judging
by how tired you look, son, I think you may be right.”

“Aunt Marietta, would you mind if I went to
bed?”

She reached toward Zack and caressed his
cheek. “I think that might be a good idea.”

He pushed out of his chair and walked slowly
out of the room.

“When we’ve finished eating, Jase,” Marietta
said, “I sure would appreciate it if you’d take the rest of the
stew and a basket of cookies to the men in the bunkhouse while I
clean up the kitchen.”

“They’ll be grateful for your thoughtfulness,
Marietta. After eating with them these past weeks, I can tell you
the cuisine they cook themselves leaves a lot to be desired.
Although I will admit that Miguel makes some excellent chili, and
Stub is great with bacon and eggs.”

She pushed herself away from the table and
shook her head. “It’s a good thing I’m leaving soon so you can have
your house back. I don’t know why you didn’t eat with us. I told
you it would have been fine.”

“I didn’t mind bunking and eating with the
hands. They’re more than employees to me; they’re friends.” Jase
stood and wiped his mouth with his linen napkin. “Besides, we eat
at such odd hours that I didn’t want to upset yours and Zack’s
timetables.” He straightened to his full height before continuing.
“Now, I’ve got something I’d like to ask you to do for me.”

She tilted her head and sent him a grin.
“What’s that?”

He stepped closer to her. “Before I go out to
the bunkhouse, I’ll lay a fire in the library hearth. When I come
back inside, I want you to join me for some reading. You suggested
we read together the day you arrived here, but we’ve yet to open a
book besides the children’s stories we’ve read to Zack.”

Marietta was thrilled at the idea of an
intimate evening alone with the man she loved. “That sounds
wonderful, Jase.”

“Good,” he said warmly, staring at her a
moment longer. “I’ll go tend to that fire.”

She quickly filled a basket with cookies and
put the remaining stew in a bowl. While Jase was gone to take the
cookies and stew to the bunkhouse, she raced up to her room. She
loosened the hair she’d fastened into a bun and let it cascade over
her shoulders. After washing herself and putting on a clean
shirtwaist, she hastened to the kitchen to finish her chores.

By the time Jase had returned after making
his deliveries and freshening up, the kitchen stood in enough order
for Marietta to leave the unfinished work for later. He offered her
his arm and escorted her to the library. They took their seats next
to each other on one of the small sofas next to the wall.

“You look beautiful tonight, Marietta.”

She felt her cheeks blooming with color. “And
you look very handsome, Jase.” His fresh, dark clothes emphasized
his masculine features.

“What would you like to read?” he asked
softly.

The nearness of him tightened her throat. She
wasn’t sure if she would be able to speak clearly. “Something warm
and lovely,” she said softly. “Perhaps the book there on the bottom
shelf.” She pointed at one whose title she couldn’t remember at the
moment. “I tried to read it the night I waited up for you, but I
couldn’t concentrate.”

“I love that you waited for me, Marietta, but
I am sorry I worried you.”

She smiled at him. “That’s over now,
Jase.”

He moved closer to her on the little sofa and
took her hand. “Marietta, I’ve loved having you here in my house.
You’re a wonderful woman and an exceptional mother to Zack.”

“Thank you, Jase. You’re very kind.”

He shook his head and took her other hand.
“I’m not trying to be kind.”

“You’re not?”

He raised her hands to his lips one at a time
and kissed her fingers. “No, I’m not. I’m trying to tell you that
I’ve fallen in love with you. I’m trying to ask you to be my
wife.”

Nothing had ever shocked her so absolutely.
“What did you say?”

He kissed her hands again. “I want you to be
my wife, Marietta.”

Even after he’d repeated his proposal, she
could scarcely believe she’d heard him right. “You want me to marry
you?” She closed her eyes to think. What should she say? How should
she reply? Before her thoughts could clear, he pressed his lips to
hers and stole what remained of her senses.

She basked in the bliss of his loving kiss.
She’d never known anything so wonderful in her whole life. She
placed her palms over his smooth-shaven cheeks and pulled back from
him to stare into the depths of his dark brown eyes. “Dear, Jase, I
won’t deny that I have strong feelings for you. You know that I do.
I couldn’t hide my feelings if I tried.”

“Then you accept?”

The eager anticipation in his words and his
eyes was more than she could bear. She had to leave the sofa in
order to give him her reply. “No, I can’t marry you. It’s
impossible.”

He stood behind her and turned her round to
face him. “But why, if you care for me?”

“Because I don’t belong here. My life is in
Chicago. You know that, Jase.”

He stroked his fingers over her jaw. “Your
life was in Chicago, Marietta. You and Zack belong here with me
now. We--you and I--belong together. I feel it with every fiber of
my body. I love you with all my heart.”

Marietta closed her eyes and moved away from
him, turning her head from side to side. She went to the hearth and
leaned into the mantel with her hands. “Jase, don’t say that. You
know I belong in Chicago.”

He stepped behind her and took hold of her
shoulders, pressing his lips close to her ear. “You need time to
think.”

The warmth of him penetrated through her. She
knew that if she didn’t draw on every ounce of strength she had,
she’d whirl around and press her heart next to Jase’s and never
leave him.

But, she didn’t belong in the wilderness. She
had to return to Chicago. She couldn’t let her feelings for this
man cloud her good judgment. Hadn’t her mother drummed that into
her head until the gospel idea was firmly planted there?

She turned around slowly and looked up at
him. She opened her mouth to speak, but words wouldn’t come. She
shouldn’t have looked into his eyes. Too much hope lay in the brown
circles staring down at her. Too much anticipation, and far too
much love.

“I’m very tired, Jase.” She looked down
briefly before lifting her gaze to meet his. She stiffened her
spine and firmed her jaw. “I’m sorry, Jase. My answer is no. I
can’t be your wife.”

“I’m sorry too, Marietta, because I won’t
take no for an answer.”

His response to her refusal was nearly as
shocking as his proposal had been.

“What?”

“We belong together,” he said, pulling her
into his arms and placing a sweet kiss on her lips. “You have no
reason to return to Chicago, Marietta. You said yourself that
you’ve lost your job, that you have to move into your aunt’s house
and depend on her for your care as well as Zack’s.”

She pushed out of his embrace. “My life, such
as it is, is in Chicago. I’ll find another job, and I’ll support
Zack and myself quite adequately, I assure you.”

He smiled and touched her cheek. “I have no
doubt of that. I didn’t mean to imply that you needed me for
financial reasons. I meant to say that you had a better reason to
accept my proposal than to return to your life in Chicago. With me,
you’ll have something you’ve yet to find in the city, something far
more important than anything else in all of the world. Love,
Marietta. Deep, abiding, everlasting love.”

She moved away from him and wrung her hands.
“You don’t know what you’re asking me. What would I do without my
social life? Mother always said a woman is defined by her place in
society and her social activities.” She turned back to face him.
“You don’t know the sacrifice you’re asking me to make.”

He moved toward her quickly and took her into
his arms. “And you don’t know what you’re throwing away.”

“Please,” she said, fighting the desire to
stay firmly planted inside his arms, “don’t hold me so tightly,
Jase. I can’t think when you’re arms are around me.”

He let her go and took a step back. “Think,
Marietta. Think about what you’re throwing away.”

She grasped her head with her palms and
closed her eyes. “It isn’t fair. You want me to leave my life. You
want me to do all the sacrificing for us to be together. Jase, you
don’t know what you’re asking.” She looked at him and slowly turned
her head from side to side. “I don’t think I can do it, no matter
how much I care for you.”

His jaw seemed to turn to iron. “You think
I’m not making changes in my life by asking you to be my wife?” He
bit his lip, and his jaw hardened. “Consider this, Marietta. I’m in
league with a consortium of nearly a dozen men to buy land near the
Oregon Trail where we’ll build a new town. We investors stand to
gain a fortune in funds and everlasting fame should the railroad
eventually decide to come through on land near our town. It’s a
dream for me, Marietta, something I’ve longed for.”

“Then why would you ask me to marry you?” she
interjected. “You’d have no time for Zack and me if you were taking
on such a project. Between your ranch and your land project, you’d
barely have time to eat and sleep.”