Chaos (Havoc Series Book Two) (6 page)

“Here, here,” Felix cheers on.

The rest of us follow in their footsteps,
repeating, and then drinking. Haven and I are both enjoying water
in glasses, me because I refuse to drink before returning to duty,
her because wine causes her face to scrunch. Hilarious to watch.
Well, until she glares about it.

Food begins making its way around the table,
small talk with it. I lean back for a moment to observe. The
chatter to most would see pointless, just ways to fill the empty
space, but to me, it's vital. It's like the veins in my body. I
need the chatter to stay connected to all of them. To have their
lives in my mine may not what be what I live for, but nonetheless
it's something that matters a helluva lot.

A bass voice cuts through the hamster wheel
of thoughts. “Slugger, can you pass me the mash potatoes,
please?”

“Sure, dad.” the word rolls off my tongue as
I reach across from me and hand them over.

“Thanks, son.”

With a nod, I pick up my fork, slide a hand
into Haven's lap to fold with hers and take my first bite of the
meal. Chewing the bite of red potatoes I do my best not to look at
Mindy who is looking at me with awe. She's waited years to hear
that word come out of my mouth. Instead I look back up at him as he
is doing his best not to stare at me in return. Looks like there's
pride on his face. Excitement. Maybe even relief or maybe that's
gratitude. Honestly, if there's anyone who should be grateful, it's
me.

After a delicious meal and dessert, Leighyani
makes an immediate exit claiming she has friends she's meeting up
with, Striker bails because he's on call, Felix has to pack for
work, and Sir—er—dad's shift starts at 8. Mindy divides the
leftovers up and sends everyone on their way, leaving a few dishes
to be done. She enjoys cleaning as she cooks, so the mess isn't
tremendous but it's still there. Glove and Lordy agree to stick
around to help clean and enjoy an extra beer before splitting.

“What can we do to help?” Lordy leans on the
bar between two empty dishes that held potatoes.

“Clint and I will do the washing if you and
Glove don't mind drying?” Haven sweetly says rolling up her sleeves
in front of the sink.

“Personally, I prefer to make things wet,”
Glove's comment gets him an immediate glare from me. How many times
have I told him about talking like that in front of my girlfriend?
Disrespect is one thing to ignore when it's just between us. If he
keeps this up in front of her, I'll be disrespecting his face.

“And I'm sure you will just as soon as you
leave, after you're done drying the dishes.” she tosses dish rags
at him and Lordy.

“I swear he's had his shots.” My dog
reference gets a giggle out of her as she starts running the hot
water.

“Hey every dog needs to get a bone,
especially when we aren't getting fed on the regular, feel me?”
Glove shrugs smugly.

“It'd be easier to be fed on a regular if
you'd stop wandering around like a stray and find a home,” Haven
hums matter-of-factly, the first clean dish stacked on the counter,
quickly picked up by Lordy.

Girl has a point. A valid point. Another win
for her. Damn.

“Is it just me or did you used to be more
quiet?” He grumbles as he picks up his first dish to dry.

“Watch it,” I growl. He may not like the shit
she says but no one has the right to talk to her that way.
Especially not after the shit she's had to go through in her life.
Especially not after spending years captive. “Speak to her like
that again and being an unwanted flea bitten mutt will be the least
of your problems.”

He nods without retort. His mood is more foul
than normal. A giddy Glove I'm used to. A grumpy Glove I get. But
this. This is beyond any mood I've ever seen. Something is eating
at him, and he doesn't wanna talk about it. I know what the signs
are to recognize them. My guess? Deployment Depression. Leaving
behind the carefree ways to return to orders and risking our
goddamn lives. At least I have something to come home to. What do
Lordy and Glove have besides each other? Neither talks to their
families or about them. Another reason we all related so well in
the beginning.

Haven rinses another dish off as do I. “I
just meant--”

“I know what you meant,” Glove's green eyes
flare but he attempts to calm his temper down.

My angel tries again, “Glove, you know the
right girl--”

“Doesn't exist for everyone, Haven.” His cold
tone gets him another disapproving look from me, this time, I stop
my actions.

“That's where you're wrong.” she stands her
ground, but continues her movements. “Take it from someone who once
didn't believe it either.”

After finishing the dish he was drying, he
gives his dirty blond hair a rub, and turns his back so his frame
is leaning against the counter. Pouting. Like the small child he
is. I prepare to scold him when Haven lays a head on mine as gentle
warning, I'm assuming to leave it alone. Fine. For now.

“The peach cobbler was amazing,” Lordy enters
the conversation neatly stacking the dishes together.

“Thank you.”

“Grim wasn't kidding. You bake like the
Goddess of Dessert, Heaven.”

Haven giggles and kisses me on the cheek. Now
that's better. That's the reaction she should be having.

She looks over at him, blushing. “Thank you,
Lordy.”

“Did you do anything different to it? Tasted
just a little sweeter than I remember. Not at all a bad thing,” he
quickly inserts.

“I used a little extra sugar.” she hands him
another dish. “And a little powder sugar on top.”

“Honestly, it was almost better than my
grandma used to make it.” There's a long short pause before he
finishes with, “Man, it feels like a life time since I've had that
cobbler...”

His voice trails off and both our heads lift
up to see him fidgeting with the buckle on his jeans, a dark
expression painted on his face as well. Unsure of what's wrong with
both of them, I feel my eyebrows fall down as I'm gently nudged in
my ribs. Shifting my attention down to Haven, she tilts her head at
them. No. Oh hell no. I don't want a have a fucking heart to heart.
We don't function that way. Fuck before today we barely functioned
outside booze and the gym. I shake my head.

She puts a stern hand on her hip and gives me
“the look”. Every guy knows the look your girlfriend gives you that
means this is non-negotiable. Haven rarely gives it. So rare in
fact I wonder if I could sneak my way out of it.

“I'm gonna put all these clean dishes away.
Why don't you boys take your beers outside for a bit?” her
suggestion easily translates to it being not up for debate. While I
like the changes in her attitude, sometimes I don't like what the
changes make me do. Like talk to my brothers.

“Good idea.” I clear my throat and point for
them to head that way. Without a word they head for the back door.
Leaning down, I plant a kiss on her forehead whispering, “We won't
be long.”

“Take all the time you need,” her voice
softly coos. “I've got a feeling they need you.”

And I need her.

Relocating outside, I slide the door closed
as I watch Glove sit in the chair and Lordy lean his body against
the grill, both with a beer in their hands, neither of them with a
pleasant expression on their mugs.

I fold my arms across my chest. “Talk.”

“Nothing to say,” Glove shrugs, lips back on
the top of his bottle.

“Me either.”

“You're both full of shit.”

Glove bites, “Fuck you, Grim.”

“We've had this talk. I don't swing that way.
And no matter how many times you offer, no means no.” A stifled
chuckle comes from him. I shoot my question at Lordy. “He been like
this all day?”

“Couple days.”

“Fuck you, Lordy. Like you're any
better?”

“I'm fine...”

“Are you? Is that why I keep catching you
dialing a number and then stopping?”

“I said I'm fine.”

“And so am I.”

Silence. Crickets don't wait long to join us,
but they wait long enough. The tension out here is so overpowering
I can hardly breathe. We can't go out in the field like this
together.

“Look assholes, my life depends on you. We
can't go back on duty like this. It doesn't work. If we return to
the field like this, one of us is gonna end up dead.” The words
catch their attention. They turn in unison to look at me. At least
they've still got that together. “I don't know what the fuck is
bothering either of you, but I can't have you distracted like this.
So start fucking talking. Now.” No response. “Now! Or I'll beat it
out of you!” My patience is paper thin and my fist is feeling a
little deprived lately.

“Fuck!” Glove shoots out and lifts his head
towards the sky.

“Look Grim, we're happy for you. Really.
You've got a great girl. Great family. And what do we have? I
rarely speak to my own kin! I haven't been home in years! What the
fuck's Glove got--”

“A great sex life?” his attempt at a joke to
ease the situation fails.

“Nothing. He doesn't have a family. Never
has. Foster kid.”

Didn't know that. It's not like in the years
we've been working together we really talked about anything. Yeah.
We talked. Guns. Tits. Ass. Music. Movies. Nothing with substance.
I didn't ask. I didn't care. Things were simpler then. I didn't
think it mattered what made the assholes tick as long as they were
doing their job. I was obviously wrong.

“So yeah, thanks for inviting us to be a part
of your cookie cutter lifestyle but--”

“Fuck you for that.” I point at Lordy, my
tone harsh. Sharp. “You have no fucking idea what I've been
through.” He shuts his mouth. Wise choice. “Fuck, you two think
you're the only ones from a fucked family? Or a fucked up
situations? Newsflash assholes. You're not. The difference is I
started to face my bullshit. Mind you, I didn't have to do it
alone. And if you two morons will stop wallowing in self fucking
pity for a few minutes, I won't let you face yours alone either.”
Eyes land back on me and I shrug, “Truth? You're as much my family
off the fucking field as you are on. Clear?”

Glove nods. Lordy does as well. Silence
briefly returns, the sound of beer gulps repeating.

“I guess it's just hitting us what's missing
from our lives. What we don't have to come home to,” the words seem
to linger on his tongue before he follows it with, “and that's some
scary shit, Grim. To realize there's nothing waiting for you back
home?”

Never had that fear. I was okay with not
returning. I wanted death. Enjoyed its smell. Its taste. The
seduction from the thrill. When there's nothing you want to come
home to its freeing. It's also hollow. And now that I know just how
much life can be worth living for, I doubt I'll ever entice death
like that again.

“Look Lordy, I don't know what happened with
you and your family back in Georgia, but you've got family here
now. Me. Glove. Haven. Hell, Mindy wants to adopt you both.” His
face twitches. “This is the first year me and my dad have been more
than civil on a holiday in over a decade. I get it. But the sooner
you realize it isn't the blood pumping through you that makes you
family, the better.”

Ease looks like it washes over his face. He
nods and slips a hand in his pocket. “Adopt us, huh?”

“Well adopt you and wash his mouth out with
goddamn soap.” Our eyes focus on Glove who has rearranged himself,
arms resting on legs, beer bottle lifelessly dangling from his
grip. I sigh, “And you? Same thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Same goes for you, Glove. I may want to
punch you in the face about 80% of the time, but you're still my
brother. You're still fam.”

“Just 80%?”

“I was being modest.”

“Thank God. I was starting to think I wasn't
doing my job.”

“Asshole.”

“Of course.” He rises to his feet chuckling.
“As much as I hate to break up couple's therapy, we should get
going...” His face glances past me. “Need one last round of pussy
before we fly out.”

I glance over my shoulder at Haven who looks
like she's making herself busy work by wiping the counters.

“Besides, I get the feeling the misses might
like to enjoy your company before we leave tomorrow.” Mighty
considerate of Glove. I'm sure that's only part of it. There's a
good chance he's doing what I do. Bailing on subjects when they get
too real. I understand the guy. And I won't make him talk about
shit if he's not ready.

“We straight?” my eyes bounce back and forth
between them.

“Yeah we're good,” Glove assures me. “We'll
have our shit together. Won't let you down.”

“Yeah, Grim. We're good.”

“Good,” I nod and open the back door to let
them back in. “Now get out.”

“Clint!” Haven squeals.

“See how mean he is to us?” Glove pouts at
her, sticking his bottom lip out, clearly back to his old charming
ways.

“I do,” she plays along as I lock the door.
“Do you need a hug?”

“Actually--”

“Glove, if you put your hands on my girl,
I'll dislocate your shoulder.”

“I'm good,” he denies her offer.

We all laugh, and Haven sweetly walks them to
the door giving each a kiss on the cheek before shutting the door
behind them. My blood slightly boils. Her lips belong nowhere on
them. Her lips do not belong on them anywhere. But given that it's
a holiday, I'll try to dial back the jealousy. She was just being
polite.

She saunters over to me, pulling my eyes down
to her hips that are swaying that dress to a dangerous rhythm. My
body starts to stir on the inside, the sight more erotic than any
porn I've ever seen.

I wrap an arm around her waist as she slides
her hands up my chest. Playfully, I ask, “What do you think you're
doing away giving away my kisses to those assholes?”