Charged - Book One (22 page)

“You’re not the first human to touch a dying elder.
I’ve never observed it in my lifetime, but it has been documented
diligently.”

“So why am I
alive?”             

“We have no idea… but if I had to guess, there’s a
mutation in your DNA that allows it. Somehow it’s adaptable, most
likely in the chromosomes we consider junk. The ones we haven’t
studied. What’s really amazing is that we’ve been combining our
elements with humans for thousands of years, but you are, or were,
completely human, so the fact that you could survive is
astonishing.”

I didn’t share his excitement. I would rather have
Ben still be alive.

“How long have I been out?”

“Three weeks. We have already drawn blood and begun
testing on your DNA.”

Three weeks seemed like an eternity to me and I felt
it in every muscle.

“Where is Kye?”

“Sleeping. It’s one-eighteen in the morning; she left
here an hour ago. Are you in any pain?”

“Just really sore.” I was actually more than sore,
the muscles in my legs felt torn, but I didn’t want to be in the
medical lab for another night.

His eyes widened, amazed at me. I was a fluke. I
stumbled twice trying to get back to the bed and Collin grabbed my
arm to help me. And I felt Ben inside of me again, wanting to hug
his son. It was a very intense urge and I wasn’t able to shove it
down.

I stopped Collin by grabbing his shoulders and he
turned toward me as if I was in pain.

“I’m so proud of you and I love you, all of you,”
just fell out my mouth as I wrapped my arms around him. And Collin,
to my shock, embraced me as if I was his father for a moment.

“Thank you,” he said, as he pulled away from me. “You
will feel my father for a long time, possibly forever. If you can
control his thoughts and feelings and decipher between which are
yours and which are his, you will be fine. I was really hoping that
all he was hadn’t been lost.”

I let go of him completely and let my arms fall to my
side as I sat back on the bed, confused by my own actions.

“Is he alive inside of me?”

“It’s hard to explain. We feel differently than you,
very intensely. Our emotions literally drive our actions, which is
why it’s so important for us to base our thinking on logic, not
delusions or denial. It’s collective; you may soon feel what we all
are feeling. So be careful to keep your emotions rational. Humans
have a tendency to live outside of reality. Ben’s emotions are
inside of you, his memories. Could you feel me a second ago? What I
was feeling?”

“A little, but I’m no father, Collin. I can’t be your
father; I’m lacking in that department.”

“You spent your whole life protecting people; you’re
a better choice as a recipient than you think.”

He was being so logical about all this and then he
paused and looked down.

“Lewis, Ben’s clone cannot be completed without the
essence you absorbed.”

This hadn’t occurred to me.

“Is there a way you can take him out of me?” I said,
my face full of remorse, like I’d stolen something.

“At this time, I would say no. It’s mutated your own
DNA; even if you died, I wouldn’t know how to retrieve it. But it
doesn’t matter now. All the clones were destroyed when we were
attacked.”

This was horrible news. Ben and Alma and so many more
couldn’t be cloned. Yet I couldn’t help but notice that he was
treating me like I was Ben. I didn’t think I’d be living up to his
expectations any time soon. It was clear he wanted me to take Ben’s
place, I could feel that much. I wondered how Danel would feel
about it and I smiled at the irony of it. Now, I could free Kye
from Danel, or maybe this would make things more complicated.

Quickly, I realized I didn’t exactly know what
happened after I touched Ben in the main hall.

“Everyone who survived is fine?” My voice was dry and
my throat was dry and I sounded like an old man. As I grabbed my
throat, Collin filled a glass of liquid and handed it to me. It was
not water; it was pink and glowing and I was reluctant to drink it.
It smelled almost like orange juice or mango juice and before
Collin could persuade me to drink it I’d gulped it all down.

“The ones we lost have been mourned for already and
we were unable to merge with any of them. They all slipped away and
no clones were prepared for them. They were all children like
me.”

This basically meant he’d lost almost his entire
family. I felt sick and didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.”

This information struck me hard and I could feel his
pain. Surely they had a heaven.

“You don’t have a heaven?” This was one of the many
things I almost never discussed with anyone.

“Our heaven is combining ourselves with our loved
ones forever. Cloning the elders is a new concept for us. We’ve
never extracted an essence, but I believe it’s possible.”

“Merging.”

“As you like to call it, yes.”

“So there’s no euphoric heaven for you?”

“It’s a human concept. I do respect your beliefs, but
it’s different when you have met the people that have written
them.”

This was a conversation I never thought I would be
having with Collin. It wasn’t that I was grounded in faith, but for
some reason, I thought they were. I tried not to dwell on his
response. Grief started to pull at me and I could tell that Collin
noticed it, so I tried to think of something else. I tried to
remember what happened in the main hall.

A powerful emotion swam over me and I could feel
Collin more clearly. I could feel his sorrow for just a moment
before he separated himself from it. It was his mate; she had died.
She was only here for a short while from another ship; they had a
distant relationship. I drew all of this from Ben’s memories and
Collin’s emotions. I wanted to leave the room quickly. I didn’t
need Collin feeling my pain or all the rage I had hidden in the
recesses of my mind for every killer I hunted down when I was a
detective. He seemed to acknowledge this as he looked down and
walked across the room away from me.

“Your suite has been slightly altered for your size.
The ceiling height was adequate, but we had to change the furniture
and get you some clothes. Aaron has chosen his own private
quarters, but I am happy that he is still with us.”

Aaron had stayed. Aaron was unharmed. This was a
relief and I couldn’t blame Aaron for wanting his own room, at
least not until he knew I was still me… if I was still me.

“Please tell me Jessica is okay?”

“She hid, like Aaron told her to and she’s
alive.”

“Unharmed?”

“Yes.”

“Collin, I’m so sorry for your loss. I didn’t mean to
touch Ben,” I said.

“It was obvious he meant to touch you, to bond with
you. He couldn’t hold on much longer and I’m pretty sure he was
hoping it wouldn’t kill you.”

There was a long moment of silence and I didn’t know
what else to say. Collin was grief-stricken. He had lost a father
and many siblings and I’d lost a good friend, possibly the only
Tanjennian that accepted me.

“I think I’ll just go to my suite, if that’s okay,” I
said.

“I can take you there to freshen up. Be careful what
you eat; we don’t eat meat. Our bodies can’t process that type of
protein.”

He then reached over to me and flashed a bright light
in each of my eyes. Maybe I did still have pupils and just couldn’t
see them. The bright light didn’t bother me and he immediately
noticed this.

“If you feel up to it, I’d like to do some stress
tests in the morning. And there are a number of people who wanted
to be alerted when you woke. Kye and Aaron and a few others—”

“No,” I interrupted him, “I need some time to
think.”

“I understand.”

“I know where it is; that’s where I’ll be.”

I didn’t want to feel his emotions anymore and I was
eager to leave. I headed down the long corridor with bare feet and
just scrub pants on, trying to get control over my awkward
body.

After I entered the room, I searched for Aaron’s
feelings. He was in the room next to me, dreaming of something that
pleased him and I could sense Jessica was in his arms. I realized I
could differentiate between his and the others emotions. Actually,
I was surprised I could feel him at all, because the others
couldn’t feel humans. I closed my eyes briefly and felt two aliens
across the hall, one of which seemed suddenly alert. Maybe this
searching was inappropriate.

I could feel confusion in the one I alerted and he
suddenly brushed against me, as if he reached out and touched me.
It was like thick air swept across my chest, air that was full of
energy and emotions. He was definitely male and not upset by my
probing. All of it felt very eerie. I tried to push up an emotional
wall and was able to cut my tie with the room next to me. I could
only guess that he didn’t get up and knock on my door because he
didn’t know me or because of the hour. 

Then I searched for Kye’s feelings and found her,
also sleeping about five rooms down in her same quarters. She was
very troubled by something she was dreaming of. I wondered if I
could wake her up just by calling to her and if everyone would hear
me. I thought about trying to push my emotions towards her and
brushing against her as the alien across the hall had just done to
me. I tried to push out my feelings to her but only for a moment.
Reluctantly, I shoved this thought aside and showered and tried to
find something besides a suit to wear. I finally found a pair of
jeans and a black t-shirt to put on and I became extremely aware of
how hungry I was.

In the fridge, I found all kinds of vegetables that
were not of human origin. Their smells enticed me and I tried a
little of each of them. Some were sweet and some very pungent in
odor. I consumed almost half the fridge before I felt full. I had
no desire for meat, even though I thought about it and the alien
food stayed down just fine. They must have been shipping them in,
because I remember that we had destroyed the gardens when we were
attacked.

Then I remembered Danel hesitating in the control
room and pointing my gun in my face. For a moment, I wanted to
track him down in the middle of the night and put a gun in his
face. But I had to let it go; I was too exhausted and too sore to
do anything like that right now. I could feel Ben’s compassion for
Danel inside of me and I tried to let that go, too. Yes, Danel and
I would discuss this soon, very soon. They would all know his
betrayal of the human that tried to help.

But Collin warned me I would need to control my
emotions, this anger I had for Danel. I tried to access Ben’s
thoughts on Kye, but found nothing. I couldn’t access the
information for some reason. I seemed to be almost locked out of
some parts of Ben’s memories, or maybe it was just too scrambled
still. This bothered me, but I let it lie for the night, I needed
to rest my very sore muscles now that I had some food in me.

Then, the door to the suite opened. I wasn’t alarmed;
I knew it was Kye. I’d woken her up just by reaching out for one
second and I knew she was alone. I could sense this without
looking. I raised my head on the pillow and she looked wonderful
and I felt like I hadn’t seen her in decades. I felt like I spent
the last three years of my life just dreaming of her. She was in
some shorts and a tank top. She gave me a glowing smile and closed
the door behind her and turned the lights off.

Slowly, she walked towards me and I could feel that
she missed me, too.

“You’re awake.” She looked elated and relieved. And
she didn’t mean “awake” like I was sleeping, but rather “awake”
like I was alive. She tried to calm her excitement. I could feel
every emotion she was experiencing. This was a relief. I wasn’t
sure if she was only drawn to the human part of me.

“Are you in pain?”

“Just sore.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d wake up. Some days it sounded
like your bones were breaking,” she said, her eyes lining with
tears.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. Z has been with me this whole time,
but you have to be careful. You can’t reach out to us like that
when we’re sleeping. We are very sensitive. It felt like you were
grabbing me and shaking me out of my sleep.”

Her voice was breathy and seductive. I almost didn’t
hear her words because I was listening so intently to the tone of
every syllable she spoke.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to stay awake. Sleep was
creeping in on me, which didn’t make any sense. I already slept
three weeks, or maybe I didn’t sleep at all. She crawled into the
bed with me and curled up next to me putting her head on my
shoulder and her arm around my chest. She smelled like jasmine. My
beautiful Kye was with me. I hadn’t lost her. A peace filled me
inside and even though I could still sense sadness around her, her
emotions also revealed how relieved she was to see me.

“I’ve been watching you change. It seemed very
painful,” she said.

“I don’t remember much.”

“Keep in mind Danel can sense you, too, but I can
teach you how to block him. It’s like putting up a wall.”

“Screw Danel,” I said, letting out a sigh of
exhaustion. “Reach out to me, like I just did to you when I woke
you.” I didn’t want to wait to feel her in that way. I wasn’t
certain she could do what I was doing, but since she felt me, it
seemed logical that she could do the same.

“No, not like that. Let’s try something else; it’s
like a whisper,” she said.

Suddenly, a warm sensation ran over my entire body,
as if it was humming and I could feel her presence inside of me. I
reached back in way that was possibly inappropriate and she let out
a light gasp which I knew had nothing to do with pain. So I stroked
her hair and let her caress everything inside of me. I shoved aside
any thoughts that were Ben’s, not caring who else could feel it and
we fell asleep, entwined in each other emotionally.