Chasing Ava: A Bachelor of Shell Cove Novel (The Bachelors of Shell Cove) (31 page)

He ran after her and gripped her elbow.
 

Ava spun on him, “get your hands off of me,” she said, with fire in her eyes.
 

He let his hand fall in defeat. “I’ll drive you home. Wait here, I will drive the car around.”
 

Every few miles, Logan would glance at the passenger seat Ava occupied hoping she would look at him. She didn’t. He watched at she fingered the heart necklace he had given her as the miles slipped by. When she closed her fingers around the pendant and tugged, he thought he’d careen off the road. They rode the forty-six miles to Shell Cove in silence. When they arrived at Ava’s house, she leapt from the car like piranhas were at her heels. Logan attempted to walk her to the door. She stopped him in his tracks.

“Go home Dr. Masters.”

“Let me come inside. We can stay here tonight.” Keeping her by his side was his priority.
Do not let her run
, he told himself.
 

“No,” she said with finality in her tone. “I haven’t changed my mind.” She unlocked her door, went inside, and shut the door never looking back.
 

Logan was still in Ava’s driveway thirty minutes later. He could not bring himself to leave her with his mother’s poisonous words hanging between them. How could he fix this? Ava wouldn’t look at him, she wouldn’t let him touch her. An emotion Logan had no experience with surfaced, fear. Raw, guttural, and unrelenting.
 

The ringtone from his phone interrupted his thoughts.
 

“Is Ava okay?” Darwin asked with concern in his voice.
 

“She is as far from okay as east is from west. Darwin she won’t even look at me. I will probably be arrested for parking in her driveway overnight.”

“Brother, this is beyond messed up.”

“She won’t let me in the house,” he said in a frustrated tone. “Told me to go home, but I can’t leave her.” He ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly in an attempt to calm down.
 

 
“The stuff mom said was crazy. I almost can’t believe it happened. I knew she had some extreme views on status, but I never imagined she would have said those things to anyone.”

“I am pissed at her. Money does not give you the right to trample on other people.” Logan knew his mother was a snob, but her behavior bordered on hatred.
 

 
“When I left Dad looked like a two by four had split his head open and mom was crying about some stuff that happened after you were born.”
 

“I can’t lose Ava,” Logan broke in on his brother’s update.
 

“You won’t lose her. Ava cares about you, she needs time to deal with her own feelings without having to worry about yours. Maybe you should go home.”
 

“You are insane.” Logan was pissed that Darwin would suggest such an asinine idea. “I am not leaving my woman alone after what just happened to her. You don’t have a woman. What you use your women for doesn’t constitute a relationship. You’ve never had a woman you wanted to keep.” Logan’s voice was low and desolate.
 

“Stop trying to piss me off and listen. Ava might need some space and time to clear her head. Respect her wishes on this. She just found out her boyfriend’s mother is an elitist and a drunk,” Darwin said, bluntly. “That is a significant bit of information to process for most mortal minds.”
 

“Stop being a smart ass, Darwin.”
 

“I’ll ignore that because you’re upset. But think about Ava’s feelings after being in our mother’s company for three minutes. Knowing our mother does not respect her, may never like her. Mom believes your relationship is against the natural order.” Darwin sighed, “I recommend you give her space. Use the time to get your rage under control.”
 

“Ava is mine. I will not let her leave me.”
 

“Listen to yourself. Ava is hurting. This isn’t about what you want. You can’t drive her to your desired conclusion. All she asked was that you go home. She didn’t end the relationship according to what you told me. Give her some breathing room in the relationship.”
 

“Giving a woman breathing room is an opportunity for them to mess everything up,” Logan said through a clinched jaw.
 

“Not giving your woman breathing room, leads to you messing everything up, big brother. Ava is sweet, but she’s not a weak willed woman you can control. And she’s not Brooke.”
 

Logan growled into the phone. He did not need another reminder of the differences between Ava and Brooke. Brooke could not be trusted. Ava had his trust. But, having her close insured an impenetrable bond. That’s what he told himself.
 

“Goodbye Darwin,” he pushed the end button on his cell and threw it in the passenger seat.
 

Taking a deep breath, he opened the car door, and stepped outside. One thought in mind.

Go get your woman.

Hearing the jingle of keys at her front door had Ava bounding off the couch.
 

“Logan Masters, if you open that door you will live to regret this day.” She saw the door handle move from her position by the door. When she didn’t open it, he rang the doorbell.
 

“Please, let me in. I already regret this day, more than words convey.” She couldn’t see him, but from the sound of his voice he was running finger tracks through his hair. God, she wanted him.
 

“Ava,” his tone pleading, “don’t leave me out here.”
 

Either he pushed the door, or laid his head to rest against it. “I want to be with you,” she heard the muted words.

“I know,” the tears fell staining the front of her dress, “but you can’t fix this.” Ava pressed her forehead against the cool wood of the door, a connection to him, as the pain of today’s events eroded the fantasy of a life with Logan. She fought to steady her breathing as tears flooded her eyes. He couldn’t be the one to comfort her through this.
 

“Logan.” Her heart was breaking for both of him.
 

 
“I’m here sweetheart.”
 

“Go home.” Tears flowed with the intensity of a swift moving stream.

“I am not leaving you.” The steel in his voice said he’d bind their wrists together until his demands were met.
 

“You aren’t leaving me. I’m asking you to go. Do this for me, okay.”
 

“I want us.”
 

“I know what you want, but this is what I need.”
 

“For you, I’ll go.” She released a breath of relief at his acquiescence.
 

“Ava.”

“I’m here.”

 
“I will be back for you.” Her breath hitched at the resolve in his voice. She heard his footsteps become more distant, then the slow rumble of the car engine as he pulled out of her driveway.

 
I’ll be back for you.
 

Stupid heart. Trying to hold on to a man that could never be hers. Stumbling to her bedroom, she tripped over a bag. Her toiletries, and flat iron spilled from the bag, caught under her foot and sent her barreling toward the floor. Catching her balance by grabbing the corner of the bed, Ava let her body slide to the floor. Where she stayed, drowning in her tears of sorrow.
 

Her head on the carpeted floor, she spied her tablet amongst the contents scattered around her feet. She needed to talk. Lina had her own relationship troubles. She would call Janna in Okinawa, Japan. With the change in time zones it was Sunday evening in Japan.
 

Ava wiped her face with the bed coverlet, logged in to Skype and dialed Janna’s number. Relief washed over her when Janna’s face appeared on the screen.
 

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” Ava looked into the camera and Janna’s smile fell away. Janna and Ava were roommates after everything went wrong with Marcus. Ava hadn’t felt safe living alone, back then.

“Hello Lieutenant.” Ava felt a pang of loss referring to her rank. As young women, they had plans to join the military on the buddy system. But, all that changed after the assault.
 

“I wanted to talk to a friend.” Ava offered a weak smile.

“You wanting to talk is unlikely,” Janna said, in a low concerned tone. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to talk with you about joining the Navy.”
 

“Are you thinking about joining after all these years?”
 

She had never stopped thinking about the decision to come back home to lick her wounds. Wounds that still drove her decisions. Wounds that served as an endless well for her insecurities and doubts.
 

“I completed my commissioning packet,” she said between sniffles. “I don’t think anything will come of it, because my employer endorsement wasn’t approved.”

“I’m proud of you. Why was your endorsement denied?”

“It’s a tale I don’t have the energy to repeat tonight, but can you do anything to help me?”

“What about Logan?” At his name, the tears started flowing again.

“Let’s not talk about Logan. I want to talk about me, my future. Why are my friends so concerned about Logan’s plans for me! Does anyone consider that I have plans for my life and I don’t need Logan?” She could feel her lips starting to quiver. Her shoulders shaking with anger and grief. And yes, heartbreak. She didn’t need Logan, but she wanted him.
 

“Ava what happened?” Janna paused. Waited for her to regain some composure.

“I can’t get away from us.” Ava said with a torturous cry. “I eat, sleep and breathe Logan. I’m drowning in him. And I don’t fit into his world.” She was struggling to take a breath. The sobs racking her body, she dropped the tablet. Collapsing onto her back Ava sobbed. Gripping the material of her dress, praying for the pain to stop.
 

“Ava!” Janna’s voice was high pitched, startling.
 

“I’m here.”

“Come to the camera. I can’t see you.” Ava did as she was told. Her thin fingers, trembling when she picked up the tablet. Janna’s wide eyes filling the display. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m a wreck and I should not have called. But, I feel so alone.” She had asked him to leave. But she was inexplicably fused to Logan. To a man and a life he couldn’t share with her.
 

“Has Logan hurt you?”
 

No, but she was hurting because of him. Because he couldn’t stay without losing everything. And she couldn’t go without losing everything.
 

“He’s not physically hurting me. He could do whatever he wanted to me and I would probably let him. What if it gets like before?” Ava was almost in a panic. Thinking of her past. She had allowed Marcus to keep her bent on hands and knees to please him. A man she didn’t love. “Logan could hurt me worse than Marcus. I don’t think I would recover, Janna.”

“Logan is crazy for you. Talk to him about your feelings. Don’t do this to yourself. You are afraid because of Marcus. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You are a different woman. You’re stronger and it’s going to be okay.”
 

“Nothing is okay,” she screamed. “I think we make each other crazy. Everything centers on what Logan wants. It’s like a force I can’t resist is slowly absorbing me. The yearning I have for him is beyond understanding. I feel caged, waiting for the gate to rise when I’m away from him. That can’t be healthy to want someone so badly.”
 

And now he’s gone.

“I am not the best person for relationship advice. You know I am a ‘boy toy’ kind of woman. I steer clear of complicated relationship stuff, but I am going to step out on a limb.”

“This better be good.” The first smile Ava felt since she’d crossed paths with Maribelle Commando Barbie Masters.

 
“If being with Logan helps to relieve the pressure perhaps your relationship with him isn’t the cause of the problem. Maybe you are fighting your feelings for him. The past is just that.”