CHASING LIFE (16 page)

‘
No talking is necessary,’ she replied, starting to undress him. Dave struggled to maintain a precarious balance in his drunken state.

‘Aren’t you getting undressed?’ he asked. The same feeling of hesitation threatened him as that night in Hong Kong with
Riza. But he was determined to go through with it this time. Damn the thoughts in his head, it was only sex.

‘And those
.’ Anastasia motioned toward his underwear. He pulled them down and stood stark naked while being observed by the warden. He placed his hands in front of his crotch. Anastasia looked at his exposed body and then started undressing herself.

‘
Lie down,’ she commanded.

‘
All right,’ he forced a nervous smile. Anastasia was naked and laid down beside him. He went for a kiss. She reciprocated and embraced him in her arms. The kiss was intriguing; she was exploring every corner of his mouth in rapid movements. Her body was shivering with every touch and her breathing grew deeper. Dave could feel her nipples harden when pressed against his chest. At first, her hands moved over his body in slow movements, then they gradually picked up tempo, running through his hair and down his back.

Anastasia jumped on top of him
, nearly crushing his balls. She reached for the condoms on the bedside table and tore into one like a wild beast on a feeding frenzy. To his surprise, he wasn’t hard enough. He was more nervous than excited, and now embarrassment was added in the mix. Anastasia gave him a helping hand for a few moments and, when that didn’t work, went down on him. Her actions should have sent him insane. But it only went halfway, and that didn’t last long. He just couldn’t get a full erection.

‘I told you not to drink too much,’ she said
sternly, not realising that more than his alcohol consumption was involved.

‘I’m sorry,’ Dave replied, ‘I don’t know what’s happened.’

Anastasia
tried again to get him going, like cranking up an engine that just wouldn’t start. ‘One moment,’ she said and grabbed her purse. She pulled out a strip of pills and took one out.

‘
Wait. I don’t think …’

‘It’s Viagra.’

‘I’m not sure about that,’ Dave objected. ‘I don’t think it’s necessary.’

‘Do you want to fuck or not?’ Anastasia looked at him as if he
wasn’t making any sense. In front of him stood a naked model of a body and Dave realised his questioning was just ridiculous.

‘
Okay. It’s just Viagra, right?’

‘Of course.’ She was about to break the pill in half and then
just gave him the whole one.

‘A whole dose?’
he asked, looking up at her.

‘Yes, it will be quicker.’

‘What are you doing with Viagra anyway?’ Dave looked at the pill before swallowing it.

‘You are not the first man with whom I’ve had this problem
. Just not at your age,’ Anastasia added.

‘Now what?’

              ‘We keep going.’ As she lay next to him, Anastasia took his hand and rubbed it on her breasts, down her body and over the soft mound of her pubis. Dave had mixed emotions. The softness of this beautiful woman should have excited him, but he felt emotionally detached from the act. He felt her warm skin on the tips of his fingers, her deep breaths increasing with each rub and her body breaking out in sweat. With her eyes closed and head tilted back, Anastasia was in her own world of ecstasy. Dave took her higher and closer to a climax. He felt movement in his groin and looked down. The pill was finally working; he was getting an erection.

             
‘I think it’s working,’ he whispered and slowed his rubbing. Anastasia squeezed his hand and kept it in place.

             
‘Keep going!’ she demanded, tightening the grip on his hand until her thighs trembled. Dave increased the friction until his fingers cramped. Her body arched as she let out a long moan and held the position for a few seconds. Her mouth opened but made no sound, then she abruptly pushed his hand away and relaxed.

Anastasia turned her head and looked him over
with a wry smile. It was the first human reaction he’d seen from her. She moved off the bed and started dressing.

‘
Where are you going?’ Dave asked.

‘I am finished.’

‘Okay, but …’ he looked down at his erection.

‘Perhaps later we try again
,’ she shrugged noncommittally.

‘I just took a whole Viagra pill,’ Dave said. ‘How long does this last?’

‘It’s no problem. Just ask someone else to help you,’ she said brusquely.

‘But I
…’

‘You can do it on your own. Right now I need a drink.’

Anastasia left him in the room, stupefied and unsatisfied. She had summarily dispensed with him, and he now was left with a painful erection. The very idea of relieving himself with one of the strangers all around him disgusted him. He started to suspect that a whole pill for someone of his age and vigour was too much. He couldn’t ask someone else to have sex with him. It took a lot of will just to go along with Anastasia. He put his clothes on, albeit with some discomfort. The bulge protruded under his pants.

The other rooms were still
full of people going about fulfilling their sexual fantasies. There was no way he could join in; he didn’t have the guts. Think of something else, think of something else, he chanted to himself, his brain fighting the chemically induced effect on his body. But it was a losing battle. Every little rub and touch he encountered as he bumped past people was felt. He placed his hands in front of his crotch to cover his shame. He was ready to find Vincant and go home; he’d excuse himself and catch a cab.

His fa
ce was red from embarrassment. There was no hiding it. He walked downstairs to get a bite and fix himself a drink—it’s the only solution, he thought. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember this embarrassment in the morning. As much as other people there minded their own business, he could tell they still picked up on his dilemma. Some had a little chuckle and others felt it for themselves as he accidentally rubbed against them while making his way through the crowd. Saying ‘pardon’ to every person he bumped into was humiliating, but the humiliation was exaggerated by his own paranoia. In reality, the party guests were probably either too into themselves or too coked-up to care.

             
Mixing drinks was not a good idea at that point, but that was the least of his worries. He had a glass of water to pace himself. He suddenly felt light-headed and his vision blurred; he was hardly able to keep his eyes open. From the corner of his eye, he detected a familiar face and heard his voice. Vincant was back. He was saying something to Dave, but Dave staggered from side to side, unable to stand still.

The room
was spinning and seemed to slide on an angle. His feet managed to find a grip on the floor and push it upright. Vincant’s lips moved but the music was too loud for Dave to understand what he was saying. He squinted and looked straight at Vincant’s mouth as if trying to lip-read. Dave opened his mouth to say something and at the same time something stirred in his gut, resulting in a surge up his throat. Instead of words, a mixture of food and alcohol spewed out and sprayed all over Vincant’s elegant suit.

Dave
wiped his mouth and collapsed on the floor in a heap.

Chapter
19

Dave’s mobile phone rang all morning. The caller was adamant about getting him out of bed.

‘Go away,’ h
e moaned into his pillow. His physical condition was well below acceptable, and he was in no state for human interaction. Why the hell didn’t I turn off the damn phone? he cursed himself. But then again he couldn’t even remember how he had gotten home, so he couldn’t exactly have had the foresight to turn his phone off. His dehydrated body ached for recovery, punishing him with a splitting headache. There was nothing he could do but ride it out and drink plenty of water. But drinking water meant having to get out of bed. To top it off, the phone was on the kitchen bench and well away from an arm’s reach.

Dave raised his head with one eye closed and the other straining to focus on his phone lying on the kitchen counter. The ringing reverberated in his brain, which felt like a cabbage in a pickle jar. If
I wrap the pillow around my head tightly enough, he thought, maybe I can ignore it. But what if someone back home was desperately trying to reach him? ‘Damn it,’ he cursed, lumbering out of bed like a zombie.

It was impressive that he was in his pyjamas, since he had no recollection of putting them on.
By the time he reached the phone, the ringing had stopped. That pissed him off. Scrolling through the missed calls, he found a few from Amy, one from Mike and about eight from his parents.

The
voicemail light was on, indicating it was full. No wonder the phone kept ringing. I’ll bet it’s mum, he thought. She would call and talk until the limit was used up, instead of just leaving a quick message. He hit the playback button and sure enough, his mother’s voice came on, maundering on about everything that went on back home. She worried about his trip, his dad was annoying her. Now and then she’d stop to say, ‘I just wanted to hear your voice, bye, and I’ll call you again.’ Then she would remember something else and off she went again until the beep cut her off.

Why so many missed calls from Amy
, though? Dave wondered. Since his mother told him everything already, he would call her back later. He decided to dial Mike’s number first. That should be a quick call. A change of ring tones indicated a long distance connection in process. He bent his head over to see why his pyjamas were poking out so much. He had an erection and it wasn’t going down. What’s going on here? he asked himself.

‘Hello
,’ his friend answered.

‘
Hey, Mike. It’s me, Dave.’ His throat was so dry that he struggled to speak. He coughed to clear it up and at the same time adjusted his pyjamas.

‘Hi, man.
where are you?’ Mike’s voice screamed excitedly through the speaker. Dave felt like a needle was being poked in his eardrum. He moved the phone away so he could just hear Mike’s voice, and gave his ear a massage.

‘
I’m in Paris now.’

‘What? No shit!
’

‘
Yep, no shit.’

Mike laughed
at his casual attitude. ‘How is it there?’

‘
It’s Paris and it’s beautiful. How is Amy?’ he inquired.

‘Amy’s been having some problems
. It’s her boyfriend.’

‘I’ll give her a call,’ Dave
promised.

‘You should. See if you can cheer her up.’

‘Okay, Mike. Talk to you again.’ His head was throbbing, and he just wanted to lie in bed and pass out.

‘Take care, mate,’ Mike
replied, ‘and send some photos, you lazy shit.’

‘N
o worries. Bye.’ Photos, I keep forgetting, he said to himself as he hung up. He scrolled through his contacts and dialled Amy’s number. The room was spinning and he decided that after this call he’d go straight back to bed.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi, it’s Dave. What are you up to, girl?’

‘Hey. Where have you been? I’ve tried to get in touch with you all day.
’ Amy wasn’t using the chirpy voice he was used to.

‘Yeah, I saw all the missed calls. What you up to?’
he repeated.

‘I’m good, still at work.
Just wanted to see how you were since the last time we spoke.’

‘At work? Must be s
even in the evening over there. What are you still doing at work?’ he asked, surprised.

‘I’
ve got some stuff to finish off. How are you feeling?’

‘
I’m good and guess what: I’m in Paris now. Forgot to tell you the last time I called.’

‘Paris
?’ she squealed. ‘Wow! When did you end up there? You just got to Hong Kong.’

‘T
hree nights ago.’

‘
I’m jealous. What made you take off from Hong Kong?’

‘T
his might sound crazy and not like me at all, but I met this girl and was smitten by her.’ Dave told his story excitedly. ‘Anyway, she asked me to go with her before she took off. So I’m in Paris to meet up with her again.’ He’d left out the part where he had no idea if, or where, he’d find her—details that would surely work themselves out. In reality, he was a little terrified and exhilarated.

‘
You just met this girl?’ Amy asked, incredulous.

‘I met her the night I arrived in Hong Kong.’

‘And now you’re chasing her halfway around the world? Dave, don’t you think that’s a little irrational?’

‘
Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Is everything all right with you?’ he asked. He heard shuffling on the other end. Amy wouldn’t understand his motives. A confrontation with her would just piss him off. She had a way of sticking it into his conscience and making him rethink his actions. Changing the subject back to her and her personal life was a good distraction.

‘
Has Mike been saying anything?’ Amy finally asked. ‘It’s fine, Dave. We’ve just got some issues to sort out.’

‘
All right. Everyone’s fine then.’ He guessed she wasn’t up for a discussion and felt a bit annoyed.

‘Thanks. It’s good to hear your voice.’

‘Good to talk to you, too. Now go home and get some rest.’

‘I will. You take care
.’ Amy hung up.

Dave
switched his phone off and sprawled back on the bed. He was used to Amy’s attitude about her boyfriend. She hardly spoke of him and never brought him along to their coffee get-togethers at Trieste. He always suspected she wasn’t entirely happy with the way their relationship was going, but Amy never confided in him, and he felt it wasn’t his place to prod.

The erection had subsided
, and in a minute, he would take a pee, hopefully, without straining. The headache was slowly vanishing as well. What a crazy night it had been. But how did I get home? Dave wondered. Oh, no. No way, he said to himself. He suddenly remembered the previous evening’s escapade, including his throwing up all over Vincant’s suit. He clasped his face and shook his head.

‘You idiot,’ h
e mumbled. He would have to go down to the Jazz Inn and apologise to Vincant immediately. If he had his number, at least a phone call would be a nice gesture. It might also help him find out what happened after the event. Everything from that moment was fuzzy; all he had was an image of being shoved in a car and Vincant repeating the word ‘address’
in his face
.
He’d heard that word over and over and he must have managed to blurt out an answer. But how the hell did he get into his pyjamas in that state? It seemed like his body had required little brain consultation to get him dressed for bed, after it had gone to sleep.

C
ondensation formed on the glass door from the stuffy warm air inside the apartment. But he couldn’t open the door; it was too cold and rainy outside. Drops of water rolled down and formed puddles on the tiles. He left it for later; he couldn’t be bothered cleaning now. On the TV a BBC reporter updated viewers on an oil spillage that had been contained, and now a massive cleanup was underway. A massive cleanup was needed for his liver right now. Dave’s stomach was bloated, he was burping, he had gas and the thought of alcohol made him cringe. He shuffled to the shower and turned the water on, a little cooler than usual. It got his heart pumping and muscles stiffened, but it certainly woke him up.

Dave’s
entire body and mental state were in disarray. He couldn’t get any motivation up, but he at least forced himself to eat.

‘Oh man. I won’t be doing that any time soon. Never again,’ he groaned.

S
crambled eggs and greasy sausages hit the spot and his energy levels gradually increased. He even managed to throw his filthy clothes from last night in the washing machine. His mind turned to Amy and he wondered what was going on in her world. What was this issue with her boyfriend about? Had he missed the signs of his friend’s problems while he was in Melbourne? Sadly, he would hardly have noticed anyway, preoccupied as he was with his own problems. Hopefully she’ll sort it all out, he thought. She was a strong one. Dave and Amy kept in contact all the time: a simple email, call or text message would do. In any case, he knew she’d be fine.

By 3:30 in the
afternoon, he still hadn’t done anything but vegetate on the couch. While flicking through the channels, he had found an episode of
The Simpsons
. The French voice-over put him off because Homer sounded like a drunk. He switched the tube off and stared at the blank screen. What should he do? The Jazz Inn wouldn’t open until the evening and watching the same news all day wasn’t much of a time-passer. You’re in Paris, man, he shook his head lazily.

The rain
had subsided but threatened to let loose again before Dave scraped some willpower together and dressed. He was ready for a walk. Once out the door, cool air entered his lungs and refreshed him immediately. He was already glad he’d found the energy to get out. The streets were flocked with pedestrians, especially on rue Mouffetard. Dave looked around and saw that it was in large part due to the open-air food market. Vendors were packing up by this time, but he was able to see how rich it was in fresh bread, fresh fruit, vegetables, seafood, cheeses of all types, sweets, chocolates, a huge choice of local wines, dried meat and much more. He indulged his taste buds in a fresh chocolate éclair and continued walking toward the centre of the Latin Quarter.

The Eif
fel Tower could be seen from this point, and a wide stretch of Paris. Down in front of the Pantheon, the road led to the lush Luxembourg Gardens. He rambled on until he reached the entrance of this green space and walked inside. It was teeming with young people from the university; the rainy day hadn’t discouraged them. Under a gazebo, a jazz band played tunes to a modest crowd braving it under wet trees. Farther in, he saw a great monument. He consulted with his map and found it was the famous Medici Fountain. The peaceful feeling of the garden was contagious. He could just imagine it in the old days and wondered how many aristocrats, socialites, intellectuals and philosophers had come there—strolling around, frolicking, playing, debating and discussing the world’s problems and instigating revolutions.

Dave
thought about sitting down, but the park benches were saturated from the rain. Besides, there wasn’t much to do there, so he walked out of the garden and down the Boulevard Saint-Michel.

T
hat’s when he saw her. At a bus stop, a few hundred metres down the road on the opposite side, stood Erin. He was sure it was her. Her face had been burnt into his psyche. Without hesitation, Dave’s legs launched into a sprint, and he ran madly after her.