Chasing the Dream: Dream Series, Book 3 (28 page)

“She’s waiting to go to the doctors. I’ll be here when you get back. And the place will smell yummy.”

“You smell yummy. Maybe I’ll stay…”

“Should I call the office and reschedule?” Chase’s mother called, having stepped out of the Suburban.

Chase sighed. “I’m a comin’!” he called over his shoulder. “See you in a few hours,” he said softly to me.

One last tender kiss, one laced with promise and hope, and Chase ran down the steps, hopped in the driver’s seat and drove off with his mom.

Two and half hours later, I pulled a perfectly baked peach cobbler out of the oven. I’d found a great recipe online with my phone that used pecans in the crumble topping. I covered the cobbler with a clean kitchen towel, and headed upstairs for the task I’d been dreading all day.

In the quiet of the guest room I was staying in, I pulled out the pharmacy bag with the purple box that contained two pregnancy tests. Cautiously, I opened the box and looked at the sticks. Setting them aside like they were made of dynamite, I next read the instructions carefully. Then re-read them. I read the parts that professed the accuracy of the test. I read all the FAQs. Then I re-read the instructions again. I glanced at the clock and saw that Chase was probably due back home with his mom in the next fifteen minutes or so. I had to get this done now.

I went to the bathroom, did what I was supposed to do, then returned to my room. I set the stick on a pillow of toilet paper on the side table then, set the timer on my phone to sound in five minutes. I sat in the rocking chair with my iPad mini to find a book to read on my Kindle app, however, the rocking chair was way too symbolic of what I didn’t want the next few minutes to reveal. Curling up on the bed, I tried again to find a book to read. But after flipping through the small collection of stories, I tossed my iPad aside, and simply went to stand by the open window while I waited for—checking my cell phone in my pocket—another three minutes to pass.

Man! Time sure can crawl at the worst times!

Looking out the open window and enjoying the gentle Georgia afternoon breeze, I did everything I could to keep my mind off of the test waiting to be read. I looked at the gazebo where Chase and I sat just this morning. I thought about the wishing that he and his mom did on the morning glories. I wondered what Chase had wished for. I looked at the lake and I imagined Chase and I out rowing and relaxing. I imagined the lake late at night, and the two of us skinny dipping. Flashbacks of Chase’s naked, hard body… the way our bodies moved together with the ferocious passion that was there between us…the near cosmic and blissful combination of chemistry and physics that existed when we were together… Like just a few hours ago, on the front porch. And he didn’t care that his mother was witness. I knew I was flushed from thought, and my heart pounded as I thought of all these things.

My cell phone gave out its hip, jazzy tune signaling that the end of the five minutes had arrived. Taking a deep breath and letting it out forcefully, I stood straight and went over to the side table to see my fate.

I was sitting on the front porch, looking out over the peaceful lake, waiting for… Hell, I didn’t know what I was waiting for. I think it was for Chase to come home, but why would I want that? What good would it do me? I wanted to call my mom, but what would I say? What would she say? I had actually nearly dialed her several times over the past half hour, but chickened out every time. This was the type of news best delivered in person, even though I wasn’t exactly sure what the “news” was that I would be delivering. My roommate Lucy was in Africa, giving people clean water. My friends from high school, well, we’d grown distant over the past year. Jenny, she was too new a friend to spring this on.

And what to do now? Was it too late to terminate a pregnancy? I had no freakin’ clue. And no one to talk to. I felt utterly alone. Physically I wasn’t, but emotionally, I was on an island, pity party of one.

When the white Suburban pulled up the driveway, I grew excited and petrified all at once. Yay, Chase was back. I couldn’t wait to hug him. Smell him and touch him. Somehow, I felt like just that was going to make everything all right. But then again,
shit
. How was I going to face him now?
Ohmigosh! He’s going to think I’m trying to trap him into a relationship of some sort. Or that I was going to try and pin it on him!
Why was this only occurring to me now?

Panic started to set in and I felt my breathing grow erratic. The car came to a stop and a guy with a shaved head jumped out and ran around to the other side of the car and opened the door to help another person get out of the car. This second person also had a shaved head, and as the pair walked up to the porch stairs, my addled brain started to do some quick math.

Holy Shit! Mother of God! What the fuck?
The two shaved heads walking up the stairs were Chase and his mom! Both of them had shaved their heads, Chase’s not as extreme as his mothers, having left barely a quarter inch length. Shannon was clean bald.

“Surprise! Actually, I kind of surprised myself,” Chase laughed, rubbing his hand over his buzzed head jumping up the steps, followed closely by his mother.

“I told him not to do it, but this boy nearly never listens to his mama,” she said coming up alongside Chase.

I was stunned silent. His hair. His thick, blonde hair—gone! And looking at his mother, whose head was
completely
bald, I was simply feeling pathetic. I was so wrapped up in my own world of drama that I had overlooked what was going on around me. I hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to the scarf that she was wearing earlier in the day, just a passing theory. She must have been losing her hair because of the cancer and chemo treatment. I felt so horrible that I hadn’t even given it a second thought. I just thought she was a little eccentric wearing the scarf. Her bangs had been peeking out from the front. She had
some
hair… But here the two of them stood. Hairless.

“Mom was losing her hair from the chemo treatment,” Chase explained, tucking me under his arm. I couldn’t absorb his new look. “She shaved it instead of letting it get too thin and stringy until she was finally bald. An’ the scarf was gettin’ too itchy.” I reached up and touched the short hairs. It was an odd feeling. All in all, he had a beautifully shaped head. Was there anything about this man that was unattractive?

“Oh! Like my new shirt?” Chase stepped back, and indeed he’d left wearing another simple t-shirt, today’s had been green. And true to form, that green shirt had no icons, or identifying emblem. This shirt was black. Splashed with pink and white embroidered text that read, “I Wear Pink for My Mom,” with the “P” in “Pink” a big pink ribbon angled to make the letter.

I was overcome with emotion.

“Ms. Smith, you have gorgeous eyes,” I said, looking for
something
to say.

“Well, thank you, Phoebe. But please, call me Shannon. Ms. Smith makes me feel too old,” she laughed tiredly. “And on that note, I’m going to take a nap.”

“I’ll bring you some tea, Mom.” Chase called behind her.

“Not necessary, darlin’,” she yawned back. “I’ll be asleep before the water can even get warm. Take Phoebe for a row on the lake. Enjoy the afternoon.” Shannon made her way up the stairs.

I turned and looked at Chase and his new look. “So, you shaved your head for support?” I asked. Chase ran his hand over his head and smiled sheepishly. “I think it’s sweet.” Chase looked at me and I swear he blushed.

“You know, the gal was half done when I started to panic wondering what you were gonna think.”

“It’ll take getting used to, but I think you’re an amazing son. Any mother would be proud of you.”

We stood for a moment, not really knowing what to say. “Care for a row?” Chase asked.

“I would. Thank you.” And with that, he took my hand and led me down to the lake.

After figuring out the knots that held the boat, a near capsizing, and several laughs, Chase rowed us to the middle of the lake. I was unable to talk, my thoughts desperately divided on Shannon’s health, and my recent news/non-news, so I asked Chase to fill the silence and tell me about the farm. He talked easily about when he bought this 200 acre estate for his mother six years ago. Shannon had always wanted to run a flower farm, and with Chase having just turned eighteen, she was not needed on set anymore. So, Chase had his manager, Michael, Valerie’s brother, look into it buying a flower farm in the area. He found this sunflower farm that was doing okay, but the couple who had owned the business were well aged, and without successors to pass the business along to. Chase’s uncle lived not too far, and his wife had recently passed from an undetected heart condition. Brock, also feeling lonely, was more than willing to move in with Shannon and run the farm. So, for Mother’s Day, 2008, Chase presented his mother with the biggest flower bouquet in the world: 186 acres of sunflowers. The remaining fourteen acres was accounted for with the house, yard, driveway, barn, and lake. Brock and Shannon did well with the farm, and it gave a nice place for Chase to get away to, which he did often.

“You come here
often
?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he grinned a crooked smirk. “Those times when the tabloids are reporting that I’m in some sort of rehab again, I’m not. I’m usually here. Just taking a break.”

“Really,” I asked sitting back.

“I like late July or early August best. The fields are in full bloom,” Chase said, pointing behind me, and I turned to look, “It’s incredible, especially at sunset. The sky is orange and the fields are yellow.” Chase tugged my arm, and pulled me back onto the seat next to him, considerably rocking the boat. “I’ll have to bring you back then. It’s always been my favorite thing to stare at, my peace… until you.”

I turned to look at Chase, who wasn’t looking at the horizon, but looking at me. He cupped his hand to the back of my head, and brought his face to mine. His lips brushed over mine softly, then again sucking in my lower lip gently. My arms wrapped themselves around Chase’s waist, and carefully, he helped me maneuver to sit on his lap. With both of his hands at the back of my head, his fingers woven into my hair, he kissed me again, more passionately, and more hungrily. When our tongues met, all thoughts and problems left my head completely. My body sang with desire, my nipples hardened as soon as Chase brought one hand down from my head, down my back, and into the waistband of my shorts. If we weren’t on a tiny rowboat, I’d have stood and let him take them down.

I ran my hands up his back and one hand to his head, wanting to grip his hair, but I was met with the silky short bristle. I missed his longer locks and running my fingers through them while we kissed. Suddenly, I got scared. I pulled back, rocking the boat a little too much. I didn’t even let the boat steady before I blurted, “Chase! What are the producers going to say about your hair?”

“Yeah… I dunno. A wig? But this was bigger than my career, you know? This is about my mom.”

“I know, and I love you for it, but it was my job to—”

“Wait a sec. You love me?”

What did I say? It was a slip of the tongue. An expression. It was about how he cut his hair for his mom, right?
Did
I love him? I’d only said it to one guy before… Jared, my first… Then he and his family moved to Germany for his dad’s job. I’d almost said it to Danny, and I count my blessings that I never voiced those thoughts out loud. But with Chase… Things were electric, and exciting, and comfortable, and complicated. Like my mom had said about Jack:

“He makes my knees weak, and my heart beat. He’s the first thought on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I’m falling asleep. He makes me feel safe, and loved, and wanted.”

Weak knees and beating heart…Check. First thought and last thought…Check. Made me feel wanted.…Check. I mean sure, he’s mega heartthrob, Chase Smythe. All women went weak in the knees for him. I certainly thought about him first and last of every day since we met. I felt wronged that he’d used lines to be filmed to seduce me, but maybe his apology was from the heart. Love?

“You don’t have to answer,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “I get it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I mean, it’s silly, right?” he laughed awkwardly. “We’ve only known each other a couple of weeks…”

My hormones were clearly on overdrive because I suddenly sobbed, tears stinging my eyes. He pulled me close and nuzzled my face into his soothing scent. “But, Chase… I think maybe I do,” I said into his neck. Taking in his wonderful scent again, listening to my head and heart, I sat back and looked him square in the eye. I felt something click inside. “I really think I do. I love you,” I said, getting the words out carefully.

Chase hugged me tightly then, pushed me back so we could see eye-to-eye. “Well, I know I do. I love you. I’ve been wanting to say those three words since Friday morning, and then… God! Phoebe,” he laughed. “I LOVE
YOU!
” he shouted, the words echoing off of the trees that surrounded the lake and settled back on us. I tried to shush him but he just laughed. “I’ve been surrounded by fake people my whole life, aside from my mom and Uncle Brock and a couple of others, but you have always been honest, and caring, and fair with me. And those are just the rational reasons. I can’t even begin to tell you what the thought of you does to my body.”

We sat in that rowboat, holding hands and kissing for another half an hour, silently enjoying the peace of the lake. We didn’t talk much. We didn’t have to. I think we were both trying to absorb the enormity of the moment that had passed.

I was grateful for the quiet. I had so much to process from the past two hours I felt like my brain was going to explode. Chase and I have just professed our love for each other, and I was pregnant with someone else’s baby, and on top of all of this, Chase’s mother was fighting breast cancer, and my parents’ looming divorce and their new lives running through my head. My mother and Jack sure seemed happy and I wondered what my dad was up to? Was he lonely? Had he met another woman?