Chasing the Dream: Dream Series, Book 3 (29 page)

W
ow that felt good. WOW! Hearing it. Saying it.
“I love you.”
WOW!! To have it be real, and not a line out of a script. The words kept echoing in my head and heart.

And after the emotional day I just had with my mom, this time on the lake with Phoebe couldn’t have been any more perfect. The doctor’s visit was enlightening. He reviewed my mom’s case with me, her treatment, and odds. My mother had assured me all along that things were “fine,” and “no big deal,” but they had been “fine” and “no big deal” when my dad died, and when my step-father left, so I wasn’t inclined to let her ‘sugar coat’ things for me. Hearing it direct from the doctor gave me greater peace of mind. Were there risks? Yes. Was cancer-free one hundred percent guaranteed? No, but the doctor put her odds at eighty-five percent. I could deal with that.

When we were leaving the doctor’s office, my mom was retying the scarf she was wearing on her head. As she pulled the scarf off, I noticed several patches of missing hair, and a tuft or two came loose with the scarf and floated to the floor. Right then, mom looked at me and said,
“Take me to the hair dresser’s, Charlie. I’m shaving it off.”
So, I took her to Carol’s, the woman who has been cutting her hair since I could remember. But once Mom sat in that chair, her body started to shake and she started to cry. That’s when I pulled her from the seat, and sat in the chair myself. I asked Carol to shave
my
head. Bald. It was the least I could do join her in this fight of her life. When Carol wouldn’t do it, and my mom protested as well, I grabbed the clippers from the workspace and started to shave the hair myself. Once I’d started the job, Carol stopped me, and finished it properly. When it was done, it looked like a small animal had lost a fight on the floor. It was a lot of hair. I mean
a lot.
My mom, took the chair next, and stoically went bald herself. I held her hand the whole time and she did weep a few tears, but she said the tears were because I had cut my hair off. But, it’s only hair. It’ll grow back. I’m sure there was more than just my hair to those tears. I knew my mom pretty well, and I think the tears were more a sign of her giving in; as if the surgery to remove the tumor and sickness from the chemo, weren’t enough. The hair was the one to send her over the edge. The outward symbol to the world that she was not the perfect one she wanted everybody to believe.

On the drive home from the doctor, I did one last impulsive thing. I made a call to my manager, Michael. He wasn’t happy with my demand, but I wasn’t backing down. Now I was just waiting to hear back from him.

I felt like I was playing a game of Blackjack, and I was hoping that I wasn’t going to bust by calling one more card. But seems that with this past day with Phoebe, and more specifically the past hour or so, I’ve just pulled an Ace of Hearts to go with my pair of tens.

W
hen we walked into the house, we were greeted with the amazing aroma of dinner. Shannon came out of the kitchen with her new bald head, scarf-free, and wiping her hands down. “I was craving lasagne, hope that sits well with you?” she asked me.
Craving?
Was there a reason she chose that word? Did she know something? Was she also referring to my reaction to Brock’s eggs at breakfast, too? Had she done the math? Had I left the test stick, or package, out somewhere? I started to panic.

“Sounds great,” I squeaked.

Shannon smiled big, her eyes sparkled, and she returned to the kitchen. “It’ll be ready in about a half an hour. Oh, and Phoebe?” I looked at her mind still focused on her reference to pregnancy. I was certain I’d stashed everything very well. “Your cobbler looks and smells
amazing
! Can’t wait to taste it.”

“Um, yeah, thanks,” I smiled, still feeling uneasy. Shannon grinned and she headed back into the kitchen.

“Mom always makes lasagne when she’s ‘coping’,” Chase smiled sadly. He looked over my face and maybe sensed that I was kinda freaked out. “She makes the
best
lasagne you’ve ever had. I guarantee. Is that why you bake? To cope with things?”

I was desperate to change the topic. Being put on the spot with my baking, Shannon’s use of the word ‘craving,’ and why she needed to ‘cope,’ was going to make me have a melt down. I shrugged, and took the conversation in a different route. “So, when are we going back to New York?”

Chase’s face fell. “Thursday. Michael tells me that they’ve shifted the shooting schedule and I’ll be shooting Friday and Saturday. Voice work all day Sunday. I’m supposed to be back in LA on Monday.” Chase pulled us to sit on the sofa.

My heart broke. He was going back to LA? I should have known.

“But, this afternoon I told Michael I needed to take a break. I’m pulling out of some of the projects I’ve got lined up.”

“You’re pulling out of projects?” I asked, confused.

“I’ve realized over the past few days that I need to step back from the hours on set and traveling, and spend some hours in real life. I have asked Michael to hire a realtor for me. I’m going to look at some condos in New York.”

“You’re buying a condo in New York?” I asked, my eyes bugging out.

“Well, yeah. And I’m looking into taking some classes at NYU. Maybe get a degree. I’ve put it off too long as it is. I’m already twenty-four and still haven’t been to college.”

“You’re going to go to NYU?” I knew I sounded like a complete idiot, repeating everything Chase was saying, but I couldn’t help myself.

Chase pushed his hand into my hair and pulled a chunk forward and fluffed it up, fingering the locks as he did. “What can I say? I want to try normal. I want simple. I want you.”

My heart dropped. My current ‘situation’ was anything but normal. I started to have a hard time breathing and my eyes welled with tears. Once Chase learned of my situation, that I was pregnant with another guy’s baby, he was going to run back to LA. He was pulling out of jobs, moving to New York, going to go to school… all to be with me. He was going to ruin his whole career, for me. I was so unworthy right now.

“Chase, I should probably tell you something,” I started. I might as well tell him now so he could call his manager and get those projects back on track and not ruin his career on my account.

He smiled sweetly at me. “What is it, Sweets?”

I took a deep breath, and let it out in a puff.
Just say it, Phoebe. Like a band-aid that needs to come off. One quick motion. Just say it.
“Chase I’m—”

“Is that lasagne I smell?” Brock interrupted loudly, sweeping in through the front door. “Holy geezus, boy! What happened to your hair?” Brock stood wide-eyed staring at Chase. It must have been how I looked when I first saw him this afternoon.

“Tom? Is that you?” Shannon asked coming into the room, joining the party.

“Shannon! Wow! You look… you look amazing! I know you’d talked about… Wow!” Brock looked between Chase and Shannon a few times. Chase’s shirt caught Brock’s attention. His eyes started to well with tears as he did. He walked up to Chase, who stood to face his uncle. Brock rubbed a hand on Chase’s now buzz-cut hair. “You are one mighty fine young man. You did this for your mother? You cut that amazing mop for your mama?”

Chase smiled at Brock. “Yessir, I did.”

“God love ya!” And with that, Brock pulled Chase into a monster hug, slapping his back. Chase hugged Brock back, but more like he was hanging on for dear life. Shannon walked up to the two men and they gently pulled her into the fold. Suddenly, I became completely overcome with all the emotion in the room—my news and Shannon, Chase and Brock in this tender family moment—my strength crashed. I burst into tears and hiccuped drawing attention to me. Chase set his violet-blues, wet with unshed tears, and put out a hand to me. When I didn’t take it right away, he beckoned me with his hand, waving it for me to grab on. I took it, and was instantly pulled into the group hug.

The love in that hug was palpable. In the embrace of Chase’s family, it felt, at that moment, that anything was possible. What an incredible feeling. Chase’s family may not be exactly traditional, but there was more love with these three than you sometimes see in “normal” families. Take my family for instance. My mother and brothers and I were a good group, maybe not as close as Chase, his mom and her brother, but close. My dad always seemed to be on the outside, disconnected, and now that he and my mom were nearly divorced, it all kinda made sense.

The timer for the oven went off in the kitchen, and we started to pull apart, when Shannon spoke up and pulled us back in. “Just another minute…please. I just need this hug for another minute. The lasagne will keep.” So we continued to hug until the timer stopped beeping, then we all made our way to the kitchen and got busy setting up the table, as a team while the lasagne set for a few before serving. Shannon brought the salad she’d made and salad dressings, Chase handed me a stack of plates, and he took care of the napkins and silverware, Brock got us drinks, and then brought the setting lasagne to the table.

Dinner went nicely as Brock talked about the business of farming sunflowers, Shannon and Chase brought Brock up to date with her medical status, and I sat back and took it all in.

“Oh, and I asked Susan over for dessert and coffee later, if that’s okay?” Brock said, checking his watch. “She should be here soon. She’d really love to see you, Charlie.” Chase quickly explained to me that Susan was an ‘old friend of the family,’ then Brock continued, “And we’ve recently started, well, I guess you could call it dating.”

Shannon beamed and reached across the table to pat her brother’s hand. “She does your heart good, Brock my. If I haven’t said it yet, I’m happy you’re seeing her.”

“Well,” Chase said standing. “You guys go ahead and sit in the living room. Take it easy, I’ll clean up here and get the coffee started.” Brock and Shannon stood.

“I’ll help you, Chase,” I said standing and taking my plate. Chase smiled at me and we got to work clearing the plates and washing them up, I washed and Chase dried and put the dishes away. Chase talked about the classes at NYU that he wanted to take. He was going to major in Film Making with an emphasis on production, along with some business classes.

As Chase set up the coffee pot with some decaf coffee, he looked over at me.

“Today has been nearly perfect,” he said, pulling me into him, and pressing his lips gently to mine.

Although I enjoyed his warm hug, and tender kiss, and the way he smelled, I was reminded how my day had been nearly perfect, as well. Just that damn test. I remembered that I tried to tell Chase about my ‘condition’ but was interrupted. I figured now was as good as a time as any. Then maybe he could call his manager and get his projects back.

“Chase, I have to—”

“Hi!” an unfamiliar voice came from the living room. I heard Shannon and Brock greet the new female voice.

Chase dropped his head to my shoulder and sighed.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Susan,” he whispered.

“The old family friend?” I asked. He nodded ‘yes’ into my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

He cleared his throat and pulled back to look at me. “Susan is Abbie’s mom.”

“Who’s Abbie?”

“She was my first girlfriend.”

“Oh,” was all I could come up with. Chase had said he didn’t do relationships—ever. Now he was saying he’d had one before. My heart clenched, physically hurt from this piece of news.

“We grew up together,” he continued, “She lived three doors down from us at the time. Summers were spent swimming in the lake, catching fireflies, and when I was around during the school year, we were in the same classes at school. We were inseparable. You could say we started dating when we were just four years old.” He swallowed hard and his violet-blue eyes shone through a wall of unshed tears. “I loved her. She was there for everything with me. My dad’s death when I was six. My mom’s divorce from my step-dad after he left my mom for my
then
manager, Andrea, which is when Michael became my manager. I was twelve. She was my first kiss…” A tear sprung forward from Chase’s eye and ran down his face. He let the tear do its thing. He didn’t try and wipe it away. “We had been together all day, along with a number of our friends, swimming in the lake, riding our bikes downtown, and hanging around like a bunch of punks.” I watched him smile sadly as if he were reliving the afternoon.