Chaste (McCullough Mountain) (11 page)

His
hand gently touched her shoulder and she flinched, squeezing her eyes shut.
God, how many times had she wanted to feel his touch? But never like this,
never out of sympathy, or worse, pity. Her obsession with this man dated back
to childhood and now he finally noticed her only to list her flaws.

His
gravelly voice was soft. “Ashlynn, love, I didn’t mean any harm. Please don’t
cry. I’m an arse. Half the time I don’t even know what I’m saying. Please don’t
be upset.”

She
wasn’t upset as much as she was reacting to the bitter sting of her utter
humiliation. The back of his knuckles grazed her jaw and she flinched, jerking
away. No one ever touched her like that and the one man she fantasized about
doing so was finally there, doing just that, yet it was out of pity.

“Look
at me, love.”

Why
did he keep calling her that? Slowly, she turned, which took more physical
effort than she expected. Those piercing blue eyes were creased with worry. He
sunk into the stool beside her and gripped her hand. Those strong fingers
fascinated her.

He
squeezed. “I know you’re my age, but there’s something about you that’s
younger. You don’t have a lot of experience.”

Oh,
Lord, please make him stop.
How
did he know so much about her when a week ago he didn’t know her name?

She
said nothing, her gaze fastened to the hand holding hers. “I want you to know,
if you ever need to talk to anyone, I’m here.”

What
did that mean? They weren’t even friends. She couldn’t talk to him. She could
barely think around him.

She
tried to evaluate the situation as an outsider. Here she was, polishing apples
in her farmer’s market in nothing but dusty denim overalls and a sweat stained
tank top and there was Kelly in his fitted black T-shirt, designer jeans, and
sexy boots. She wore men’s work boots too, but his were nicer than her raggedy,
scuffed leather ones.

“Why
did you come here?” she whispered.

He
swallowed and she watched his prominent Adam’s apple make a slow glide under
the dark shadow of his tanned throat. Kelly had tattoos, lots of tattoos, many
written in Gaelic, so she had no idea what they said. One showed on the side of
his neck just below the barbell punched through the lobe of his ear.

He
looked away. “I needed some apples.”

“Don’t
lie to me. Did Josh send you here to break up with me?”

His
gaze shot back to hers, eyes wide and surrounded by the softest black lashes
she’d ever seen on a man. “No. He has no idea I’m here. We play cards together,
but we aren’t close friends. He’s more of a family acquaintance.”

“Yet
he told you how we met.”

“Well,
he asked if I knew you from high school and we got to talking.”

She
frowned. Kelly didn’t know her. She was well aware of who
he
was, but
he’d never noticed her. “What did you tell him?” She needed to know what was
said. The idea that people actually talked about her when she wasn’t around was
mind-boggling.

The
color of his cheeks darkened and her stomach tightened. So whatever was said
likely wasn’t flattering. “Um…well, I told him I remembered you from high
school.”

“You
do?”

“Yeah.
You were in half my classes,” he said as if it was silly to assume he wouldn’t
remember.

“But
you never talked to me.”
Oh my God, does
he remember the day he walked me to the nurse?

“That’s
not true. Once you gave me a pencil…” he shook his head. “I knew who you were.
Plus, you went to CCD with my sister.”

She
remembered Sheilagh, the stunning redhead all the boys followed around as if
her pheromones released video game cheat codes. “I didn’t think you knew who I
was,” she said in a small voice.

He
smiled. “I knew who you were.”

It
was her turn to flush. If he was aware of her existence he probably was aware
she’d been crushing on him since puberty. Her self-esteem lurched at the memory
of the unkempt little girl she once was. Not so unlike the unkempt woman she
was now.

“Ashlynn…
Just because we didn’t hang around the same crowd doesn’t mean I wasn’t aware
of you. Our school wasn’t that big.”

His
words were too close to her thoughts. She pulled her hand away and tucked it in
the bulky denim covering her lap. “What did you tell Josh about me?”

“That
you’re a nice girl, quiet, and he better be respectful to you.”

Her
gaze darted to his too fast to mask her shock. He’d given Josh a warning? Why?

Seeming
to read her curiosity, he said, “I know you haven’t…dated much—”

She
snorted. “Try—at
all.
”

His
lips pressed thin as he nodded. “Right. I told Josh he better take it slow with
you.”

“Why
would you do that?” It was common knowledge Kelly didn’t take it slow with
anyone so why would he care what other guys did?

He
shrugged. “I’m sure you’re aware of my reputation. I know what guys want. They
go in looking at your…peaches, but really they’re hopin’ to make some cobbler.
You deserve a patient man who’s willing to…wait.”

Her
mind screamed. How the hell did he know so much about her? They lived in a
small town, but she’d always been more of an outsider than anything else.
Embarrassment choked her as she realized she was like a science project to the
locals her age.

Yes,
she was probably the last virgin standing. So what? As much as it probably
looked like a result of her absent social life
it wasn’t.
Even if she
had a boyfriend—a
great
boyfriend—she’d
still make him wait for marriage. It was what she believed, a promise she’d
given her father, and a vow to God that meant something.

Indignation
bit at her pride. “Just because a man buys me dinner or brings me flowers,
doesn’t mean he’s getting any…cobbler.” Were the peaches her breasts?

“I
know. That’s why I told him to keep it respectful.”

Was
she such a charity case even Kelly took pity on her? Josh wasn’t rude. He was
soft spoken and easy going. Not once during their date had she felt threatened.
Was that Josh or a result of Kelly’s warning?

She
turned away in confusion. “How did you know that about me?”

“That
you’re a virgin?”

The
word shot through her and she winced.

“Hey,
Ashlynn, there’s nothing wrong with that. My brother was a virgin until he was
nearly thirty.”

“Colin?”

“Yes.”

“Kelly,
he was going to be a
priest.
It’s a little different.”

“Why?
You each made choices based on your faith. Don’t be ashamed of believing in
something.”

She
lifted her gaze and met his stare. “I’m not.”

“Then
what’s the problem?”

“I’m
just a little shocked my…virginity is common knowledge. Oh, God. I guess Josh
knows.”

“So
what? If you two were dating it would only be a matter of time before he found
out. Look at it this way, he knows and it didn’t change his mind about your
date.”

“That’s
true.”

“It
isn’t a bad thing, Ashlynn.”

Every
muscle in her face seemed to unclench. She stared up at him, her eyes pleading
and the words slipped out before she could draw them back. “Would you date a
virgin?”

His
lips buttoned up and he looked away. “Uh, I’m a little too…I got a sweet tooth.”

She
frowned. “What?”

He
blew out a breath. “I like sex, love. Lots of sex. Crazy, swinging from the
chandeliers, make you scream, feel it days later sex.” He scratched his head
and grimaced. “I’m really not that complicated. I basically only come with two
settings, hungry and horny.” He laughed and gazed away, mumbling, “If you don’t
see me with a hard on, make me food. Ah, but then I start thinking about
cobbler and soft peaches and…” He cleared his throat and shifted.

She
didn’t know where to look, but she couldn’t look at him. Her head turned with jagged
increments as she focused her stare anywhere but at him.

He
chuckled. “Sorry. Maybe that was a bit too graphic on my part.”

“Sometimes
waiting means more than the act,” she offered lamely. Her decision really
couldn’t compete with chandelier monkey screaming antics—not with Kelly. That
was for sure. And was he actually talking about cobbler or was it a metaphor?
Did he do stuff with food? Jeeze, she was ignorant, but now she was really
curious.

“I
have no doubt your choices hold meaning, but I’ve been at it too long to give
it up.”

Her
father never brought another woman home after her mother passed away. It was
interesting that some men claimed to
need
the act, but others could
abstain. Then there were the women who complained about it and the women who
practically hunted for it. She didn’t know whom to believe.

“What’s
going through that pretty head of yours?” he asked, again catching her off
guard with a compliment that ricocheted like a chauvinistic insult.

“I
don’t know…how to judge something I’ve never tried. I have no experience.”

“You’ll
get there. You know how kissing can be great with some people and terrible with
others? Sex is like that. With the right person it’s right. With the wrong
person it’s ‘
Where’s the closest exit?
’.”

Her
neck heated. “I wouldn’t know about that either.”

He
laughed, then the sound immediately cut off. “Ashlynn, you’ve
been
kissed.”

Hanging
her head, she gave the slightest shake.

When
he didn’t say anything for over a minute, she chanced a glance in his
direction. His eyes had changed and there was a smoky heat coming from his gaze
that trapped her attention.

“Tell
me that isn’t true,” he whispered, voice gone husky.

She
shrugged. “Pathetic, right?” Laughing it off to hide her humility, she grabbed
an apple.

His
hand caught hers, fingers curling around her wrist, heat burning through her
skin. “Why didn’t Josh kiss you last night?”

She
shrugged, but she couldn’t let Kelly fault Josh for that. “I was afraid I’d
mess it up and he wouldn’t ask me out again.” Why was she confessing so much to
the one man she wanted to impress?

His
fingers tightened. “You’re afraid of kissing?”

“I’m
afraid of all of it.”

They
were silent for a long moment and then, “Let me kiss you.”

Her
head twisted so fast a sharp pain shot up the tendons in her neck. “
What
?”
Her heart hammered in her chest.

“Let
me be your first kiss. I’ve kissed hundreds of women. Let me teach you how to
properly kiss a man.”

Yes,
yes, yes, yes,
yes
!

A
flutter of muscles twitched at her pelvis, muscles she never paid attention to
before. Her heart raced as Kelly stared at her, awaiting her reply. His deep
blue eyes darkened like wet denim as he stared into her in the way no man ever
had.

“Is
this a joke?” she rasped.

“No
joke, love. I don’t know what it is, but I
really
want to be the guy who
gives you your first kiss.”

“
Wha
—why?” she sputtered.

She
couldn’t do it. She’d dreamt about those lips for years, but she was supposed
to kiss Kelly McCullough once she learned how to kiss properly. There would be
no experimenting on him. She barely had the nerve to experiment on Josh.

“I
don’t know,” she whispered.

Did
he shift closer? Her breathing turned rapid and shallow. She was going to pass
out. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

His
nostrils flared as if he didn’t like being told no. Something flashed in his
eyes, too fast for her to label. His dark brows lowered. “Why not?”

She
searched for an excuse. “Because kisses aren’t negotiated. They’re a
spontaneous burst of emotion focused into a physical act of mutual affection
and desire.”

“I
see,” he said, blue eyes narrowing as if her refusal actually irritated him. He
slapped the table quickly, blanking his expression, and she jumped. His voice
returned to the easygoing norm. “Well, it was good chatting with you. Next time
you’re in the bar come over and say hi.”

What?

He
stood and chucked his half-eaten apple in the rubbish bin. This had to be the
strangest morning of her life.

“See
you around, love.”

She
blinked. “Um….bye?”

And
like that, he walked out the door.

Her
head was reeling. Kelly McCullough just spent the morning polishing apples and
discussing cobbler and sex with her. Stuff like that didn’t happen.

Swiping
her hand over the table she pushed all the unpolished apples back in the
bushel. She carried the cardboard trays to the back counter, still processing
the dizzying conversation.