Chaste (McCullough Mountain) (14 page)

Ashlynn
drew in a slow breath, her breasts pressing against the thin cotton of her
shirt and distracting him. “Then why did you kiss me?”

“Because
you deserved it.”
And…
now his cock was hard.

Her
brows lowered behind the frames of her glasses. “See? What does that mean?”

His
voice was gruff as he whispered, “It means sometimes a girl needs to be kissed,
kissed properly, so she knows where to set the bar.”

After
a moment of quiet, she laughed. “So, basically, you ruined me for all other
kisses.”

Yes.
God, he was a self-serving prick.
“How so?”

“I
don’t think every man kisses like you. You are, after all, Kelly McCullough.”

It
took everything he had to fight the cocky grin that usually followed such a
statement. His lips twitched, but then the real him showed up and he frowned.
He didn’t want her to see what everyone else saw, some sort of legend that was
all bullshit and late night romps. She was right. Being the legend was
exhausting and it was getting old.

Honesty
fell out of him without thought. “I’m just a guy.”

“How
about if I promise to see beyond your reputation, you promise to see beyond
mine?”

He
chuckled. “What reputation? You’re a good girl.”

She
leveled him with a glare. “Is that all I am, a good little churchgoer holding
out for Mr. Right? Okay. Then I guess you’re just a naughty cliché looking for
the next warm bed—”

His
hand flew up, cutting her off. “I get your point. Touché. I promise to leave
all presumed labels at the door.”

Her
grin was slow and it warmed him in places most women didn’t touch. His gaze
traveled over her shadowed face and focused on soft brown eyes behind her
cat-eye glasses. “You have pretty eyes.”

Her
blonde lashes lowered. Shallow breaths continued to lift her chest and his
imagination was suddenly hypothesizing, producing rapid images of how she’d
look just before she came.

Shit!
Where had that come from?

She
licked her lips again. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

Oh,
Christ. She was so quiet and reserved, but a lot less shy than he’d first assumed.
Did she masturbate? Touch herself in that lonely house where no one could see?
Fuck
.
Get back on point and out of the gutter.

What
were they talking about?
Oh, right,
pretty eyes
. “It’s true.”

“I
don’t know how to be immune to you, Kelly. I never was.”

He
stilled. It was his turn to be confused. “What does that mean?” His dick
pulsed. The fantasy of her tucked away in some prim bed, hand under the covers,
lashes lowered, head tipped back, spiky hair dragging over the soft linen
pillow, just turned a million times hotter. Because now, in the fantasy, she
was whispering his name.

She
sighed, her expression tightening. “It means you can’t kiss me and say things
like that unless you’re actually interested in more. Please don’t play games
with me.”

Oh
hell. Perhaps they’d always been aware of each other, but were both smart
enough to know they made no sense as anything more than acquaintances in a
small town. God, how he’d like to play with her…

Wait.
What had she said?
Unless you’re interested in more…

“But
more isn’t on the table.”

She
faced him. “More is
always
on the table, it just comes with a lot
additional commitment you’re not interested in.” The reality he’d been hiding
from all night slammed into him.

“You’re
making assumptions.”

“Am
I wrong? Just because I believe there’s more to you than a night in bed,
doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to think you’re ready to settle down. Nor does me
admitting that I’m human enough to struggle with sexual urges mean I’m willing
to sacrifice my chastity for one night of unforgettable fun.”

Mmmm. Let’s talk more about those
urges…
“How do
you do it?”

Her
head tilted. “Do what?”

“Deny
yourself for so long?”

Her
cheeks flushed and she shrugged. “I just push it back. It’s not like I’m a
deviant who only thinks about sex. Usually my mind’s preoccupied with work and
stuff.”

He
shook his head, “But…when it’s right in front of you…how do you turn it down?”

“I
just…do.”

He
couldn’t comprehend that sort of patience. “And if Josh waited, if he held out,
would you give him everything? Would you give him
more
?”

“I
don’t know him well enough to decide that yet.”

“But
you said it’s on the table.”

It
was only more arousing when she snapped back, not taking any of his crap. “I
can’t predict the future. I just know I’m holding out.”

Hot
little, feisty bunny chaser…“
What
if I wanted to kiss you again, right now?” God he wanted.

Her
lip quivered and a bit of her bravado fell away. “Why?”

“Because
a woman needs to be kissed properly every now and again and Josh didn’t
deliver.” Or maybe because he was developing a masochistic need to torture
himself with the one thing he couldn’t have.

Her
eyes narrowed behind the frames of her glasses. “See, you’re playing games.”

“No,
I’m being honest. I
want
to kiss
you.”

“Games.
If I kiss you, you’ll want more, and that isn’t an option. I only plan on doing
that
with my husband.”

“There’s
so much out there besides sex, Ashlynn. There’s kissing and petting and necking
and beyond. I could make you feel things you’ve never imagined and your
virginity could remain intact.” What the hell was he saying?

Kelly
had never been a guy good at games of risk. When he was eight and his dad
handed him a loaded gun and it took two seconds for him to get cocky and accidentally
shoot the pistol off. He’d been punished something fierce for that cockup. Then
when they were in eighth grade he was the idiot that slammed his egg in the car
door when they had to do that stupid baby project and carry the damn thing around
for a week. He wasn’t good with fragile and he wasn’t good with being careful.
Ashlynn was delicate and needed—

“I
know there’s more. That’s why you need to stop saying things like that to me.”

He
shifted. There were certain things in life a man just didn’t do. Wanting money
didn’t justify robbing a bank. Nor did infatuation justify deflowering the town
virgin. He’d never robbed a bank, yet he didn’t seem to have the self-control
when it came to tampering with the virgin.

He
closed his fingers over her petite little chin and turned her face. “I don’t
want to stop. I want to do
those things to you.” His body tightened
another degree as he put everything he was feeling out there. “I don’t know
what this is, Ashlynn, but I like you. I know we can’t have sex, but telling
myself that doesn’t deter my attraction.”

“Then
what happens?” She sounded defeated, definitely affected by his suggestion. She
may be a virgin, but she was still human. He bet she had a ton of untapped
fantasies dying to come alive.

Playing
off how badly he wanted her and trying for indifference, he shrugged. “I can’t
give you marriage. I’m not the type.”

She
jerked her face away. “Sorry to disappoint you, Kelly, but even if you offered
I don’t know you well enough to agree to be your wife.” Her words stabbed him
right in the gut, cutting down his bravado in one fast slice. “How can you sit
here, being honest with me one minute, and revert to Mr. Phony Magnetism in the
next breath? I know the other girls like it, but I don’t. You’re not Danny
Zuko
any more than I’m Sandra Dee! Stop playing the cool
guy and just be you!”

Her
words fired off like rounds from a machine gun. “Whoa! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
to be a dick.”

“Then
don’t be!”

Her
fingers swiped behind her glasses. Shit. She was upset. And who the fuck was
Danny
Zuko
? She sniffled and he wasn’t sure if he
should comfort her or just leave. This was exactly what he meant when he’d said
she was different. She didn’t fall for his bullshit and as complicated as that
was it was also refreshing.

Spotting
a box of tissues on the floor, he snagged two and scooted across the seat. Her
face twisted away the second he touched her jaw. “Stop,” he said, harsh enough
to get her attention. In a softer voice, he whispered, “Let me.”

Carefully,
he removed her glasses and wiped under her lashes. Her shimmering brown eyes
watched him as their breath mingled. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know
how to act with you. You call me out on my bullshit and I’m not used to that.”

She
sniffled. “I never asked you to marry me.”

“I
know.”

“I
have standards,” she said, her face stern.

Swallowing
back the pain caused by her admission, he slid her glasses back on. “I know
that too. Most women do and I’m way below them.”

He
stuffed the crinkled tissues in the cup holder and her cool fingers caught his
jaw. Glancing back at her he stilled. Now, she was frowning. God, could he get
it right just once?

“That’s
not what I meant, Kelly.”

“It’s
okay.” He didn’t want to discuss this anymore.

“No,
it’s not. I didn’t mean you were
below
my standards. I meant I deserve love as much as anyone else. Lust can’t replace
love. Not for me, anyway.”

“Look…I
know what girls want and I know I’m not it.”

“Who
says?”

“Plenty
of people.”

“Kelly,
the only person keeping your reputation alive is you. The day you put marriage
on the map, I guarantee women will be lined up at your door.”

She
couldn’t be more wrong. “Well, as of right now, it’s off the map.”

“I
know. And that’s why I can’t let myself read into the feelings I’m having.”

 
“But you’re attracted to me?”

Her
lips tightened. “Yes.” That one word poured over him like warm honey.

Time
to get serious. “I find you incredibly appealing, Ashlynn. Why can’t we see
what happens?”

She
shook her head. “No.”

His
spine stiffened. She was so willful. “Why? I promise I won’t sleep with you or
push for more than you’re willing to give.” Was he begging? Fucking begging?
God, he was being such a twat.
He
could go find any girl he wanted, but he wanted
her.

“Because
I’m not going to be some notch on your bedpost. I couldn’t deal with sharing
you with half the population. I deserve more than that.”

“What if I promised not to
be with anyone else?”

Wait!
What the fuck did you just say?
It sounded like his conscience talking, but it was definitely his cock.

She
blinked at him. “Really?”

Ah,
fuck…
“Really.”
You fucking douche bag! Stop talking! Stop talking now!

Her
lips trembled. “What about Josh?”

“You
aren’t sleeping with him. I’m not the jealous type.” Such words had always rung
true, but at the moment they tasted like a bitter lie on his tongue. Josh
wasn’t a threat. The guy hadn’t even really kissed her yet. “Say we can try.”

Her
thumb twirled the band on her right ring finger as she considered his offer.
Promise ring.
He took it as a sign of
nervousness in the face of temptation. His breath held.
Say yes…

* * * *

Ashlynn
didn’t know what to say. It was Kelly McCullough, confessing that he liked her,
maybe not as much as
she
liked
him
… She was a borderline lurker barely
holding back from stalker status, but he
liked
her.

He.
Liked.
Her.

And
he wanted to kiss her and make her feel things. Oh, how badly she wanted to
know what he was talking about, experience all the things he promised to make
her feel. Her promise to God and her father had never been so clouded. That’s
what Kelly McCullough did, he made her bargain her faith, and made her want to
do things she knew she shouldn’t. He
was
pure, unfiltered temptation.

You
could learn a thing or two.

That
was true. He was the best teacher a girl could have in all things carnal. And
he promised to be monogamous while they perused this thing, even if she
continued to see Josh.

The
idea of dating two men didn’t sit right. There had been no declarations of
monogamy and for once she was trying to think like a modern woman. The
imbalance seemed wrong, but Kelly said he was fine with it. She wasn’t sure how
people could be friends if they openly admitted to being attracted to one
another.