Chief Cook and Bottle Washer (21 page)

"How do you know how strong I am?" She flung
the words at him. Emma pushed away from him, panic taking
precedence. "You had no right to do this. You don't know how strong
I am. You don't know what's best for me. Why couldn't you just mind
your own business?"

"Maybe I am out of line, Emma. But you should
know by now, I'm not the kind of man that looks for the rights and
wrongs, but I act. This is a problem for you. I had to do
something. You are tearing yourself up over nothing."

"Nothing!" Emma shouted now, hysteria yawning
at her. "You don't understand," she said flinging away his support
and running towards the house in panic.

"Emma . . ." he yelled, his voice vibrating
the walls of the house as he stormed in behind her.

Tears blinded her, fear betrayed her. All was
lost. Everything. She'd lose Sammie Jo. She had lost Deke, if she
ever had him. She'd have to leave, her mind fastened onto the only
thing it could–escape!

"Emma, listen. Nothing is going to happen.
I'll stand by you. I'll be here, don't you see." He came inside her
room and tried to take her into his arms, but she moved to put
distance between them. She couldn't think with him holding her, and
she needed to think.

"No," she cried. "I'm sure . . ." she
struggled with her words, unable to keep focused when he offered
her comfort and the need to be near him nearly outgrew the fear
that was destroying her. "I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. But
you don't know, and it's all my fault. Please–just leave me alone.
Just get out–please." Her voice reached hysteria.

"Emma don't do this. Don't lock me out, let
me help you," he pleaded coming closer.

"Please–Just get out."

"Okay," his voice held muted frustration.
"But we're going to talk this through, Emma." He promised turning
to leave.

Emma watched him leave. Her heart thudded
like a heavy drum in her chest, a burden. Her eyes filled with all
the unshed tears. Her fears shot out at her from every corner, as
Sammie Jo sat in the corner, looking at a Pooh book, and
crying.

"Mama. Mama . . ."

"Oh darling, he doesn't realize what he's
done. He couldn't have known. It's my fault. But we can't stay
here. We've got to leave, and without anyone knowing. We'll slip
out after supper. I heard Cal say they were going to check on a
bull over at the Andersons'. We'll leave after they've gone."

"Dada," Sammie Jo wailed looking past her to
the door.

"No darling. How can I explain this to you,
so you'll understand. He isn't your father."

Emma hurriedly packed the old suitcase full
of her stuff. She left the dress Deke had bought her hanging in the
closet.

She'd laid round steak out for supper and
began preparing it. Sammie Jo was being especially good, playing
with her Pooh book while Emma worked.

At the supper table, conversation flowed
easily. Emma did her best to act as normal as possible, but
occasionally when Deke shot her a curious glance, she'd look
away.

"So, you want to go with us over to the
Anderson's Emma. I know Helen would enjoy yours and Sammie Jo's
company," Cal was saying as he helped himself to the mashed
potatoes.

"No-I don't think so this time, Cal. But I
appreciate being asked. I've got some things to do this
evening."

"Just thought I'd ask. We won't be gone over
a couple of hours," Cal added. "Want me to take Sammie Jo with
us?"

"You've done quite enough babysitting for a
while. You go on and enjoy yourselves, we'll be fine."

"I never considered babysitting Sammie Jo. I
enjoy her company. I'd be glad to take her."

"Not this time, but thanks."

"You think you can get the bull at a good
price, dad?" Jake was asking as though trying to distract his
father.

"I'm sure of it. John's got a boy going to
college this fall and he'll be needing all the cash he can
get."

"That's right, James is, isn't he?" Clint
added, scooping the gravy on top his potatoes.

"Yeah, seems like yesterday they settled
here. But we're all gettin' older. I wouldn't mind being a grandpa
myself." Cal glanced at Deke.

"Excuse me," Deke got up from the table,
throwing his napkin in his plate, and leaving before anyone was
through. "I've got business in town, tonight."

"Oh, a date?" Cal lifted a brow.

"Maybe," Deke glanced at Emma, then cleared
his throat and walked out of the kitchen.

"He's kiddin'," Cal aimed his words at
Emma.

Emma managed to act as though she didn't
care. It wasn't her business if the bossman had a date. But her
heart seemed to shrivel up and die at that moment. And from the
short silence that ensued, she was sure everyone in the kitchen was
aware of her feelings.

"Dada," Sammie Jo wailed as Deke strode out
the front door.

"No darling, Mr. Travers, Uncle Deke, but not
dada." Emma reassured her.

"Sounds to me like Sammie Jo's done picked
herself a daddy." Cal smiled.

"Excuse me, I think she's ready for a bath."
Emma grabbed the baby from the highchair and made a quick dash for
the privacy of her room. Things were getting too complicated. All
the Travers men seemed bent on getting her and Deke together. Only
problem was, Deke didn't want to get together anymore. And because
what he'd done, she couldn't stay here any longer.

She heard their voices as she escaped down
the hall.

Emma couldn't stop the tears, and she had to
distract herself from her own self pity. She ran bath water in the
tub for Sammie Jo. Trying to drown out the voices in the kitchen
and her head.

They must have wasted a half hour in the
bathroom, because when they came out, no one was in the house.

Emma hurriedly dressed Sammie Jo, made sure
everything was packed up, and taking the baby's hand walked
silently out of the bedroom for the last time.

She wouldn't look back.

With sad resignation she headed away from the
house towards the old truck, parked beside the barn. No one was
about. Except Denver came running up to her for his usual pat on
the head. Sammie Jo gurgled at the happy dog. Denver didn't seem to
want to let them go. He barked loudly and danced all about them as
they kept walking towards the truck.

"Oh stop it, you silly dog. I hate leaving
you too, but we've got to go. Please let us leave in peace and
quiet."

But it wasn't to be, Emma sighed as Deke's
truck pulled up just in front of hers, making a hasty retreat
impossible. He made the gravel fly as he braked. Leaving the
headlights on as he got out of the truck, he slammed the door. It
was almost dark and hard to see who was with him.

Emma put Sammie Jo in the carseat, threw her
luggage in the back and started for the driver's side of the
truck.

Deke marched up to her, and just as she would
have gotten in, he slammed the door and held it there with his arm,
above her head.

"Going somewhere?"

His voice sounded almost musical in the
stillness of the night and Emma ached to turn into his arms and
cry.

"We're leaving."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I left a note."

He nodded, his eyes piercing her through the
darkness. "As I remember that's not the deal. I asked for two weeks
notice."

"I'm sorry, this is an emergency," Emma
gasped as she tried to move around those big arms that trapped
her.

"Emergency or an escape?" He queried, his
head bending in her direction, his words feathering the skin of her
cheek. God he was close, her heart wanted to shout at him. Couldn't
he see how he was affecting her? Didn't he care that her heart was
breaking?

"Don't you think you should return to your
company?" She asked glancing toward the truck.

"Company? Oh, yes, well, I think we both
should. Come on," he began and pulled her by the arm towards the
truck.

The couple in the truck got out and walked up
to them.

"Emma, this is Mr. and Mrs. Collins. They've
been anxious to meet you and Sammie Jo." He said shoving Emma
gently towards them as he turned to walk away, "Excuse me, while I
get the baby."

Deke got Sammie Jo out of her car seat.

"Dada," she cried and giggled, snuggling into
his shirt collar.

"Hi darlin', I'm glad to see you too," Deke
said.

Emma stood not knowing what to say. Fear
gripped her heart. Tears stung her eyes as the couple extended
their hands to her.

"We are so glad to finally meet you, Emma.
We've heard so many good things about you, we couldn't wait to meet
you. Mr. Travers there, sung your praises as a mother. And your
family talked to us about you and Kate."

"Kate?" Deke queried from a distance.

"Your father didn't have much to say, but
your brother Frank told us about Kate. If only we'd had a chance to
meet her. Such a young little thing, and so brave to bring a child
into the world knowing she probably couldn't carry it to term. She
must have been remarkable."

"Kate?" Deke repeated as he reached them in
two strides, hearing the conversation and not understanding their
words.

"Yes, Kate, Sammie Jo's mother," Mrs. Collins
explained.

Emma looked into his alarmed face and begged
silently that he would keep still with his questions till later,
till she could explain.

"Kate must have thought a lot of you to name
you as Sammie Jo's guardian." Mr. Collins was saying as Mrs.
Collins took Sammie Jo into her arms and smiled.

Sammie Jo looked at her for a minute then
smiled.

"Oh my God," the older woman exclaimed.
"Look, look at her, Sam. She's the spitting image of Joel."

"Come here child," the man directed his wife
and the child into the light on at the porch. "Let me look at
you."

When they stood beneath the burning porch
light he shook his head and wept.

Emma nearly lost all composure. The man was
crying.

"She looks just like him. Just like our
Joel."

Fear gutted Emma. If Sammie Jo looked like
Joel they would never let her go. Needing to lean on something, she
grabbed for Deke.

He held her, but at arm's length. Still she
gained his strength, pulled it from him.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice husky.

"Yes–I think so."

"Let's go inside. Emma made a carrot cake for
supper, and I smell coffee brewing. Rusty said he'd put a pot on.
Let's relax and visit a little. I'm sure this a big shock for you."
Deke was explaining.

Emma reached for the baby, but Deke directed
her inside the house instead.

In a whisper he explained. "Let them have a
minute."

Emma nodded woodenly, feeling as though her
world were void of emotions. She had lost Deke, that much she
realized earlier, but now Sammie Jo?

"I'll get the cake and coffee," Emma
resounded numbly, needing to leave their presence and escape for a
moment. She'd been so brave. Hadn't cried once, even though her
heart had broken into pieces when Deke had left this evening. Now
he was back, with them! And he was heedlessly tearing her world up
again.

Her hands shook as she cut the cake. She
spilled coffee on the counter. And burned her hands in the
process.

Deke walked in, looked at her, and took over.
He wiped the mess up, ran cool water over her hand and looked into
her eyes.

"I know this is hard on you. But you're a
strong woman. I've known that from the start. You can face
this."

Even though he wasn't offering her his
undying love, he was offering her a pillar of strength to lean on.
He had faith in her. He must have guessed she lied, and it had to
have affected him. Yet, he was embracing her courage for her.

Emma squared her shoulders, swallowed her
unshed tears and nodded. "Yes, I can take it."

Mrs. Collins was a beautiful blonde-headed
woman with wisps of gray at her temples, and an understanding smile
curled her lips as she held the baby, then offered her to her
husband. She was small and dainty up against her big brawny man at
her side. Emma saw Joel in her, and now, looking at Sammie Jo, she
realized they were right. She did look like her father.

"Look at this . . ." Mrs. Collins pulled out
a picture from her purse and handed it to Emma as she joined
them.

"That was Joel when he was a baby. I wanted
to compare it with the baby. But I didn't have to pull out the
picture to realize she is the image of my son."

Emma took the picture and stared at it for a
long moment. "Yes, you're right, she is."

Mr. Collins stood and paced for a moment then
turned to Deke and Emma. "You'll have to excuse me. You see, Joel
was killed three weeks ago in a bar room fight. He was a pretty
heavy drinker. We tried everything to keep him away from the stuff,
even had him admitted to one of those hospitals that specialize in
alcohol related dependencies. It never worked for him. I pushed the
boy too hard, I guess. Wanted him to take over my business. He just
wasn't interested. He wanted to rodeo."

Deke nodded. "You shouldn't blame yourself or
anyone for that matter. Sometimes, it just happens this way."

"Yeah, but it's damn hard to accept." Mr.
Collins cleared his throat.

Mrs. Collins gathered Emma's hands in hers.
"I'm so glad Kate had you to rely on. You were cousins, right?"

"Y-yes." Emma glanced awkwardly at Deke. A
nerve in his jaw twitched but he said nothing, just listened to
Mrs. Collins explaining the whole thing.

"And look at her. She's beautiful, and
healthy, and happy. We want to be part of her life, forever."

Emma didn't have to have a truck run over
her. She knew what was coming. But she didn't know how to stop it.
She had to face the reality of it.

"We hope you'll let us continue to come and
visit. She needs family. Lots of family, and lots of love," Mrs.
Collins was saying.