Chosen Heart (59 page)

Opening the door, my mouth drops
open, as I’m met with fire red hair and designer sunglasses.  Standing in
front of me is my past colliding with my present.  The wind is literally
knocked out of me, and I can feel myself breaking.  I’m an utter mess,
physically and emotionally, as she carelessly smirks at me.  Pulling down
her glasses, her eyes travel over my disheveled appearance.  After the
past few days, I don’t dare think that I could ever look as put together as she
does.  Wearing a nude peplum long sleeve shirt with matching fitted skirt,
her slim figure is adorned with an off white belt that hugs her waist
naturally.  No one pulls off professional, yet bitchy quite like
Arianna. 

I never really decided how I felt
about her after Alex poured his soul to me about his sordid past.  I was
so busy figuring out my feelings for him that I forgot to consider Arianna into
the equation.  Yet here she is.  And with that look on her face, I
know I’m going to have to figure it out right now. 

My Past.  Yes, she was
supposed to be a mother figure in my life, but I didn’t need her.  I had
Rachel, who filled the void since my parents passing.  Instead, I always
considered her more of a cool aunt.  Always so prim and proper, she seemed
to have her life together.  I always looked up to how in control she was
and how she always got what she wanted. 

My Present.  Now, I know
what she wanted includes my heart,
my
Alex.  How can I forget, or
forgive, that she had him as well.  Suddenly all the love and admiration I
had for her has vanished, replaced by resentment and disdain.  A knot
builds in my throat at the thought of her naked in his house, throwing herself
at him.  I think I may puke. 

“May I come in?” Holding her
glasses in one hand and her cream colored Burberry purse in the other, she
gestures towards the entryway.  Stepping aside and holding my hand out, I
allow her to come into the apartment. 
This has to happen, Ely. 
Be strong and just get his over with. 

Once inside, her head moves
around as she looks over my décor.  “Such a cute and quaint apartment,
Elyssa.”  Refusing to start a conversation about my furniture, I gesture
towards my couch.  Terrified of what might come out, I keep my mouth
shut.  No, she needs to start this. 

Arianna gracefully lowers
herself, crossing her legs, waiting for me to say something.  Under normal
circumstances, I would have offered her something to drink.  In this case,
I’d rather pass the pleasantries and just get down to business.  I know
she’s not here for coffee.  We remain in a staring contest for what feels
like hours, but in reality it’s only a few seconds; thirty two to be
exact.  I was counting as I held my breath.  Remaining tight lipped,
I wait. 

Realizing that I’m not going to
speak, she sighs.  Looking self-possessed, she finally instigates the
conversation, and I brace myself for what’s to come.  “I’m sure you’re
wondering why I’m here.”  I nod, never releasing my direct eye contact
with her.  She needs to know I won’t back down.  Not anymore. 
“I imagine you know about me and Mr. James.”

Her and Mr. James?  Yes,
Arianna I know about you and my Alex!  I know about what you did to
him.  I know you bought him like he was another accessory you brought out
whenever you wanted and used at your own discretion.  I know all about it!

“Why not skip the Mr. and Mrs.
Bullshit and just call him Alex.”  My words lash out like a serpent
attacking its prey.

Remaining calm, Arianna proceeds,
“Fine…so you know about me and Alex.”  I nod, still not breaking eye
contact.  “I never meant for you to get hurt, Elyssa.  We’ve been
involved for years and sometimes things like this just happen.” 
Things
like this?  Purchasing your own boy toy happens frequently?  In what
world?!
  “He’s quite attentive and…”

“Arianna…why did you come
here?  I really don’t feel like hearing a play-by-play of your time
together, so I’d appreciate it if you would just move it along.” 

“Fine…I’ll get to the point,” she
hisses.  “Are you in love with him?”

Without hesitation my answer
comes out like a bullet fired from a gun, “Yes.” 

“Well that puts a wrinkle in
things doesn’t it?” She says nonchalantly as she glances at her manicured talons.

“How so?”  Suggesting she
has anything to do with how I feel is absurd.  She has no bearing
whatsoever on who I choose to love, and if she thinks she does, she can go to
hell.

“Well, I’m only trying to look
out for you.  You’re such a sweet, naïve girl and you shouldn’t be with
this type of man.  You deserve someone who’s just as inexperienced and
kindhearted as you.  Not someone who fucks for money.”  Her words cut
me, causing me to flinch.  I pull myself together, and sit next to her on
the couch.  If I keep standing, I’m afraid she’ll bring me to my
knees.  She doesn’t need to see me break down. 

“Think of him as an introduction
to good sex.  Now you know what you’re aiming for in the future.” 
She laughs faintly, but the conniving look on her face tells me she’s not
done.  “It’s so cute that you thought you were going to be enough for
him.  Do you realize how many women he’s been with?  Do you even know
what he likes or how to get him off?  He’s very kinky.  Has he ever…”

ENOUGH!
  “I don’t need you to look
out for me.  I’ve been doing just fine without
your
help.  You
obviously don’t know him well, because if you did, you would know he is kind
and generous, and would never purposely hurt me the way you are right
now.  He loves me, and you need to leave us alone!”  Looking away, I
blink trying to stop the threatening tears.

“He loves me!  Leave us
alone!” Arianna mocks my words, laughing even louder now.  “Grow up. 
You sound like a teenager.  I never imagined you would be so….so doe-eyed,
falling so quickly.  He can’t love you…don’t you see.  He’s a whore,
and whores don’t fall in love with people…they fall in love with money.” 
Although I’ve called Alex that same hateful word, it sounds appallingly worse
coming from her dreadful mouth. 

“You can’t tell me he’s been the
upstanding boyfriend this entire time.  Can you?  Tell me there’s
never been a time where he’s been absent emotionally or physically, or canceled
plans on you at the last minute?”  Her wicked blows are a punch in the stomach,
causing doubt in my once unified front. 
Shit, she’s right.  But,
how could she know? 
“I can tell by the look on your face, I know I’m
right.”

No matter how right she is, I
know I have to stay strong.  I can’t let her win.  Not now, not
ever!  I need her to get to the point, so she can leave.  I don’t
want to deal with her or any of her bullshit anymore.  The words explode
from my lips in desperation, “What do you want from me?!”

“All I want is for you to be
safe, my dear girl.  I want you to be happy with the type of boy that you
deserve.  Someone who isn’t as tainted and troubled as Alex is.  You
need to stop seeing him.”

“What!  How?  I
don’t…”  I stumble, not knowing how to articulate my thoughts.  It’s
happening.  I am crumbling and now, I can’t help the tears slowly
streaming down my face, nor do I want to.  She is cutting me, deep and on
purpose.  If I ever thought Alex was dangerous, I was wrong.  He is
nothing compared to the underhanded, spiteful bitch sitting next to me.

“You heard me.  You will
stop seeing him.  You say I don’t know him, but trust me, I do. 
You’re the one that knows very little about him.  You don’t know what he’s
capable of and I refuse to stand back and let him ruin you.  No matter
what you believe, I’m only looking out for your best interests.” 
My
best interests?  Doubtful, bitch!

“He loves me,” I whisper, choking
on each word as my chest constricts.  My once strong façade has dwindled
away and I’m left looking as weak and broken as I feel. 
Wake up,
Elyssa.  She doesn’t own you.  She doesn’t own Alex…well, not
anymore.  Don’t let her do this to you…to Alex…

“Ha!  Love!  What do
you know of love?  If you could recognize love, you would see that I’m
only doing this because I vowed to protect you.  Please Elyssa, just
listen to me.  End things with him.  Now.  Don’t force me to
take measures into my own hands.”

Wiping away the tears, I’m taken
aback.  “What’s that supposed to mean?  What measures?” 

“Do you really think this trip to
New York was a business need?  In what world would I need to send my
Senior Vice President to oversee a small venture?  I could send anyone,
but I’m sending him because you two need distance.  With time, you’ll both
see you’re from two different worlds and it would never work.”

Finally, I find my voice as anger
courses through my veins.  “He won’t give up on me…and I sure as hell
won’t give up on him.” 

“Do you really want to play this
game with me?”  Sitting next to her, her words burn me like a branding
iron.  She’s too close.  All I can do is turn and stare.  “I
don’t think you do, Elyssa.  I can think of a hundred things I could do
and if you force my hand, I will ruin him,” her voice hisses with
contempt.  How could she do this to him?  To me? 

“What…why would you…?” I stutter
in utter shock and resentment.

“I would do it for you.  I
need to know you’re safe and if that means making his life a living hell, so be
it.”  And there it is.  The cold, heartless bitch Rachel has always
hinted at.  I don’t think she can be any worse. 

Oh wait…yes she can. 

“But remember, it’s not just him
that you have to think about.  What do you think will happen to his poor
little old grandmother if his life fell apart?” 
Nana!  Are you
kidding me?  No!  “
What do you think would happen if I fired
him?  If I ruined his reputation, he would never work in this industry
ever again.  Do you think he could take care of his grandmother on a
measly mail clerk salary?  He would lose everything!  Then again…he
could always go back to selling himself.  Where would your love be
then?  It’s simple really.  Don’t make me do it.  If you care
for him…”

“Why?  You can’t be so
heartless that…”

“Because he knew his role! 
He knew better that to take advantage of you; to take advantage of someone so
trusting.  He never should have started something with you knowing how it
would end, and for that I’ll make him pay.”  Her screeching voice
elevates, reverberating through my entire apartment.

I can’t allow her to do this, to
ruin him.  It doesn’t make sense.  Because of me, she would destroy
the life that he built.  Regardless of who she feels is owed for his
success, Alex has built his own fortress.  And within that fortress his
grandmother is safe and cared for.  I can’t allow him to throw away his
safety nest to be with me. 

Given the choice, I know what he
would choose.  I know he loves me enough to stand in front of that bullet
and make career suicide.  He wouldn’t be thinking clearly, and that is why
I have to make the decision for both of us.  I love him too much.  I
can’t let him ruin any aspect of his life, not for me.  This will break
me, but I will do it…for him.  I will break my own heart in order to
ensure his safety.  Resolved to my fate, tears continue to fall.

“He won’t give up that
easy.  I know him…he’ll fight for me.”

“Well then, I suggest you put
your little acting hat on and make him believe.  Show him you’re so
disgusted with him that the thought of being with him literally makes you
cringe.  It shouldn’t be too hard; it is pretty disgusting what he’s
done.” 
Are you kidding me?  You are the reason why we’re
here! 

“Besides, I brought someone to
get your mind off of him.” 
Oliver?!  If she thinks Oliver could
ever take his place…she is insane with a capital I.

“I don’t think I can pretend. 
I…I love him too much.”  Slumping even further into the couch, I feel
deflated.  What I don’t understand is why?  Why is she doing
this?  She has never treated me this way.  Why does she have to start
now? 

Seeing my deflated body, she
tries to reach over, but I recoil at her touch.  Backtracking, she places
her hands back in her lap. 
Leave them there, bitch!
  “Lucky
for you, you won’t have to act too much longer.  This month away is your
chance to separate yourself from him, to break things off before you get
hurt.  I will do whatever I have to in order to keep you safe.  Don’t
ever doubt that. ”

“If I do this, if I stay away
from him, you have to promise to do the same.  You have to promise that
you won’t do anything to him.”  This is a huge sacrifice, and if she
doesn’t think she has to do anything in return, she’s sorely mistaken.  I
need her to leave him be.  I need her to cut ties with him.  It’s
only fair. 
Nothing is fair about his, Ely.  Nothing.

I told Alex I would go anywhere,
do anything to be with him.  I love him with such conviction.  But
now…now, in order to free his soul from eternal damnation, I offer myself in
his place.  Giving into the devils wishes, I will bargain for his freedom
and safety; a deal I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. 

Promising me, Arianna holds her
index and middle finger in the air.  “Scouts honor,” she smiles. 
Bitch,
you were never a fucking Girl’s Scout.