Christie Kelley (17 page)

“Lord Selby, did you hear me?” she asked in her high-pitched voice.

No, and he didn’t want to either. “I apologize, my mind wandered.” His mind hadn’t wandered; it had been on Avis as she sat at the opposite end of the table entertaining the people around her. Her brown eyes positively sparkled as she discussed politics with Lord Fallston.

“I asked if you would join me in a game of piquet later.”

“I must decline, Miss Roebuck. I am already promised in a game of whist.” Or least he would be once he found his partners. Olivia Roebuck might be perfect for making Avis jealous, but she was driving him insane with her mindless chatter.

Her full lower lip stuck out farther than normal. “Oh. Perhaps another time then.”

“My apologies to all for being so late!”

All heads turned to see Emory Billingsworth sketch an exaggerated bow to all the diners. Banning whipped his head toward Trey. His friend only shrugged as if he didn’t know why Billingsworth was in his dining room.

“Mr. Billingsworth,” Trey’s mother rose and greeted him. “How lovely that you decided to join us in the country.”

“I could not disregard your invitation, Lady Kesgrave.” Billingsworth kissed the dowager Lady Kesgrave’s hand. “I heard this was
the
country party to attend this summer.”

“I certainly hope so,” she replied.

A footman readied a place setting for him at the table. Banning’s temper flared as Avis immediately turned her attention to Billingsworth. Damn her. She appeared genuinely pleased at his arrival.

He was unable to do anything but watch their every moment. Billingsworth had never done anything to make Avis suspicious of him but now with creditors skulking ever closer, he might try to do something unforeseen. A marriage to Avis would solve all of Billingsworth’s money issues. Banning had no choice but to watch her and make certain Billingsworth did not force his advances on her. But would he be able to remain detached around her?

Could he pretend to pay her no heed while bestowing attentions on another?

Avis knew she shouldn’t care. Banning could do whatever he wanted. He could marry Miss Roebuck for all she cared. Avis pressed her lips together and clenched the napkin on her lap.

Her separation from him at the dinner table hadn’t bothered her until he smiled at Miss Roebuck as if she were a princess. Perhaps he would even stop pursuing her in favor of Miss Roebuck. Not that Avis didn’t deserve his desertion, she did. But the idea of him with that little tart made her heart ache.

“Miss Copley,” Emory said. “You look truly lovely tonight.”

At least he had noticed her icy blue gown with the beautiful décolleté neckline. Banning had barely spared her a glance. Then again, with Miss Roebuck’s generous bosom all but overflowing her ivory gown, it was no wonder he hadn’t noticed her.

“Thank you, Mr. Billingsworth. Tell us more about your trip to Brighton.”

“Unfortunately, the duke’s death cut my time with the prince short as Prinny felt the need to pay his respects.” He sounded more irritated than distressed by the passing of a well-respected duke. “But Prinny was a gracious host. I believe I may have a few new patrons for my books.”

“Lovely,” she said, glancing up the table at Banning. He met her gaze with a questioning look.

Emory leaned closer to her and whispered, “Shall we take a turn on the terrace after dinner?”

He had never asked such an improper question. And yet, if Banning had asked her to walk on the terrace she would never have been able to refuse.

“There is gaming set up after you men have your brandies.”

His thin lips turned up into a smirk. “I shall take your answer to mean, not tonight, but perhaps during the ball.”

She momentarily thought about enticing Emory to make Banning jealous, but she truly didn’t have the heart for it. Besides, something about Emory’s request didn’t feel quite right. Ever since she’d returned from Southwold, she sensed something different about Emory. A difference she wasn’t fond of in the least.

“If you must,” she replied.

“Oh, I really must,” he said with a quick glance at her breasts.

Emory must have had too much to drink tonight based on the looks he was sending her. She swore she’d felt his leg brush up against her several times during the meal. Thankfully, dinner was over and she left with the other ladies, retiring to the drawing room for tea and conversation. As she approached the room, Miss Roebuck stopped her.

“Miss Copley, I am so happy to see you here.”

“Oh?”

“Well, yes. You lend an air of respectability and moral conscience to the party.”

She did? What was the little tart after? “Why thank you, Miss Roebuck.”

Miss Roebuck continued into the drawing room as Jennette sauntered up to Avis. “What did she want?”

“I have no idea. She seems to think I lend a moral conscience to the party.”

Jennette hid her laugh behind her fan. “Of course. The spinster who wanted to give herself to a man without marriage is the moral conscience of the party.”

Avis tapped Jennette with her own fan. “Do be quiet.”

“Bask in your glory, Avis,” Jennette said with a snicker.

They sat together on the settee as the others drank tea and talked about their husbands, or hoped-for husbands. Jennette and Avis remained quiet during that particular discussion. All the women glanced toward the door as the gentlemen filed in.

Games of whist and chess were set up around the room. Avis took a turn around the room but no game could keep her interest tonight. Instead, she walked toward the terrace door and looked out into the black night.

“Did you enjoy your dinner?”

She saw Banning’s reflection in the window as he stood next to her. “Very much. I assume Miss Roebuck must be a wonderful conversationalist based on the looks you were giving her.”

“Jealous, Avis?”

“Hardly,” she said as her temper flared. “Just mortified that you would look at a woman in such a lecherous manner in front of a roomful of people.”

“And yet, I’ve looked at you in much the same manner any number of times.”

“Never in front of so many people.”

“That you noticed anyway.”

“You are truly a beast to talk to me in such a manner, Selby.”

“Perhaps, but at least I have the sense to stay away from someone I’ve been warned about,” he whispered harshly.

“Emory is my friend,” she countered.

“He is a bastard who hits innocent women.”

Before she could whisper a retort, Jennette approached them with a frown. “What is wrong with you two?”

“Nothing,” Banning said. “Goodnight.”

Avis watched as he strode from the room, praying no one else took note of the anger in his eyes.

“Is everything all right?” Jennette whispered.

“Of course,” she replied in a light tone that betrayed her true feelings. “Just another quarrel with your brother.”

“Of course,” Jennette replied.

“I believe I shall retire, too.” She walked out of the room and down the hall. As she passed the study, she heard a man’s voice call out her name. She shouldn’t stop. He was part of the reason she was in the mess she was.

“Please talk with me for a few moments.”

She hesitated, remembering his conduct of late. If she walked into the room and someone came upon them, she would be ruined.

“Please,” he said softly. “It shall only be a moment. No one will see us.”

“Very well.” Avis walked into the study and found Emory sitting in a chair by the fireplace. His elbows were on his knees and his hands propping up his head. “Are you well, Emory?”

“I don’t know.” Slowly he looked up at her. “I fear I am losing my friendship with you.”

She sat down across from him. “Why?”

“Ever since I told you what really happened at Eton, I’ve had an odd feeling that you didn’t believe me.”

“Absolutely not.” She reached over and grasped his hands. “Emory, I did—do believe you.”

“But someone put doubts about me in your head.”

“No,” she replied. “Selby doesn’t know what he is talking about. I’ve known you for years and I do believe you.”

“Selby,” he muttered contemptuously.

Her anger at Banning continued to grow. The nerve of that man trying to make her doubt a good friend. If he hadn’t already retired, she would give him a piece of her mind.

“Emory, please believe me.”

He appeared to weigh the sincerity of her words, and then he smiled up at her and squeezed her hand. He brought her hand up to his lips quickly. “I do, Avis. I do.”

“I must leave before someone finds me in here with you.”

“Of course.” He stood as she rose. “Goonight, Avis.”

“Goodnight, Emory.”

Banning stared at the closed door of his bedroom as he paced the carpet. Every time he saw her with that bastard, his blood started to boil. Not even five minutes after he left her in the gameroom, he heard them talking alone in the study. Five bloody minutes!

He stopped and listened as footsteps sounded outside his room. As he opened his door, he watched her door close behind her. Before she had a chance to lock the door or ring for her maid, he stormed into her room.

She gasped and turned around to face him. “What are you doing in here?”

“You just can’t take a warning, can you?” He stalked her.

“If you mean about Emory, then you are right.” She stood her ground, glaring at him with her brown eyes.

“You would rather take a chance on him abusing you in the heat of anger than—”

“That is the difference between you and him,” she interrupted, pointing a finger at him. “You are the one in a temper when we talk, not him.”

“And yet you trust me not to hit you in anger, don’t you?”

She looked away from him. “I do,” she whispered.

Banning walked over to her. “Then why don’t you believe me about Billingsworth?”

“Because he has never done a thing to make me believe he would hurt me,” she said tightly.

“Not yet,” he added. Banning turned away from her in frustration. She would never believe him. “All I ever wanted to do was protect you.”

Avis laughed coarsely. “No, Banning. All you ever wanted was for me to obey your every command like a little lap dog.”

He turned back and stared at her until she glanced away. Silence filled the room as a minute passed. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

His heart sank. “Bloody hell, Avis. Nothing I say or do will ever change your mind about me or marriage or even that damned bastard, Billingsworth.” He walked to the door. “I’m done. I rescind my offer of marriage.”

“What?” she asked as he reached for the doorknob.

He looked back at her pale face. “You have your wish. I will stay out of your life.”

“You don’t want to marry me?” She blinked several times as if trying to keep the tears at bay.

“No,” he lied. Silently he prayed she would stop him. But she didn’t. With no other choice, he opened the door and departed the room. He strode across the hallway still hoping she would come to her senses.

Banning had never felt so out of control in his life. Once he’d taken her to his bed, she was supposed to realize her folly and understand that wedding him was the answer. Only Avis never did the expected.

He sat in the chair by the window looking up at the inky night. Stars twinkled like diamonds on black velvet. Could she have feelings for Billingsworth? She defended him tirelessly. The only conceivable answer was she did have feelings for the bastard. Feelings stronger for Billingsworth than they ever would be for him.

His entire life he’d always known the right thing to do and went after whatever he wanted with a passion. He knew the right thing to do was to marry Avis. Not just the right thing, but marrying her was what he wanted above all. He just hadn’t a thought of how to accomplish it.

He had rescinded his offer of marriage. Avis sank into a chair by the window and stared outside. In the distance, a wood owl hooted its sad song. The sound only made her feel even more desolate. She wrapped her arms around herself.

He did not want to marry her.

Her heart cried out that this was her fault. She had pushed him away. Her fears had forced her to make a decision. Now she wondered if she’d made the correct choice. All her life she’d been so afraid of being like her father that she’d hidden away her passions under a cloak of conservative behavior. But Banning unlocked the door to her desires.

She didn’t want to be the prim old spinster any more.

She wanted to be the passionate woman who had loved Banning until he couldn’t move in the morning. And the only man she wanted in her life was him, which meant she had to confront her fears…
all
of them. She could do this. After spending almost a fortnight with him she’d only hit him once.

Recognizing how weak that argument was, Avis sank her head into her hands. She
had
hit him and whether it was once or a hundred times made no difference. He would want children, and as an earl, would need an heir.

As the pink rays of dawn lifted from the horizon, she still sat in her chair wondering what to do. Her heart refused to let her give up on him. She needed Banning. And something told her he needed her too. So she would do her best to confront her fears and even tell him what scared her about marriage. Perhaps if he knew he could help her conquer them.

She looked over at the small clock on her nightstand. She only had an hour until she was supposed to meet him in the stables for her first chance at overcoming her fears. Somehow riding a horse seemed far less frightening than confronting the demons inside her.

Avis went to her dressing room, looked at her clothes and laughed. She didn’t even own a riding habit. Now what? Jennette was several inches taller and much thinner so her habit would never fit her. But she might just have an idea. Avis raced back to her room and pounded on the wall that adjoined the two rooms.

“What?”

“Come over here,” Avis said to the wall.

She heard grumbling from the room next door but Jennette opened the door and entered. She wore her wrapper and her wild, raven hair had come out of its queue during the night.

“Why am I in here when the sun has barely risen?”

“The sun rose hours ago, Jennette. I need your help.” Avis quickly explained her problem.

“You mean you intend to let Banning help you ride?”

“Yes.”

Jennette frowned in thought. “Charlotte is nearer to your size, though a bit thinner. Anything she has might be a tad tight, but I know she would let you wear it. She certainly can’t at this point in her pregnancy. I shall return in a moment.”

As Avis waited, she heard the door to Banning’s room open and shut, and then his heavy footsteps stopped in front of her door. She held her breath to hear if he would knock or just come in. He did neither. His footsteps receded down the hallway.

A few moments later Jennette flung the door open. She had taken the time to change into her jonquil gown and had tidied her hair. “I have a lovely riding habit for you.”

She held a forest green habit over her arm. “You look so good in dark green. Charlotte said this one was always a little big on her so it should fit you better.”

Avis took the habit to her dressing room and with trembling hands changed into it. The bodice clung tightly across her breasts while the rest fit her just fine.

“Well?” Jennette inquired from the bedroom.

“It will have to do,” she answered, walking toward her friend.

Jennette twisted her lips. “If you were trying to entice my brother that habit might just do it. I’m surprised you managed to get the buttons to hold across your—”

“Oh do be quiet, Jennette. I want to learn how to ride again. Now help me with my hair.”

“Why didn’t you call Bridget?”

“I have no idea. Just help me.”

Jennette pulled Avis’s hair up into an artful chignon then placed a hat with a feather on top of her head. “Perfect. Now get down to those stables.”

She could do this. Her stomach rumbled but she ignored the sound. It was nearly eight. She had to be on time. As she reached the stables, she slowed her pace to catch her breath. Glancing toward the open pasture, she noticed a figure galloping off. Her heart sank into her stomach.