Christie Kelley (20 page)

“I’m sorry.”

“Enough, Avis.” He twisted out of her arms and faced her.

Seeing his bare chest set her heart pounding. She wanted him. But not just for the pleasure she knew too well would happen. She wanted to comfort him. She had to let him know just how much she loved him.

“I think you should leave.”

“I really don’t think I should,” she replied, stepping toward him.

He backed up until he reached the wall of the clean stall. His eyes darkened like the sky before an approaching storm. “Avis,” he warned.

She drew her gloved fingers up his chest until she reached his neck. Twining her hands behind him, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. His lips, normally soft and pliant when he kissed her, remained hard, immobile. She deserved his anger.

Pulling back from him, she looked into his eyes. “Take away my fears, Banning. Please,” she whispered.

Something flickered in his eyes and then his muscles slowly relaxed. “Very well. Shall we work on your fear of horses first…or me?”

Avis bit her lip. The more time she spent around him, the more her fear lessened.

“I’ve never been afraid of you,” she whispered. “Only
my
anger. How much did Jennette tell you about my family?”

“Enough.” His gaze fell to her scarred arm.

“Then can you understand my fear that I might be like my father? How can I marry someone when my anger might get the better of me? What if I hit a child? Our child?”

He blew out a sigh. “I understand your fear, Avis. But you have more control than you give yourself credit for.”

“What if I don’t have the control you think I have?”

“I would be there to help you,” he whispered.

Avis let her head rest on his shoulder. “Every time I think I can do this, I remember my parents’ marriage.”

“And the fear returns?”

“Yes.”

He kissed the top of her head gently. “Shall we try a horse, then?”

“I believe it might be easier to get me on a horse than to bring me to the altar just yet.”

“I thought as much.” Banning turned away and grabbed his shirt and jacket. “Come along, Avis. Your lesson is starting.”

She followed him out to the yard and watched as a boy saddled a mare for her. The horse seemed larger the closer she got to it. “Banning,” she whispered.

He turned and flashed her a smile. “You can do this, Avis.”

She swallowed and took a step toward the mare. “What is her name?”

“Buttercup, and she is a very gentle horse.” Banning grasped her hand and brought it to Buttercup’s head. “She can sense your nervousness. Try to calm yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I will be here with you the entire time.” He held out his hand to her. “Are you ready?”

Avis blew out a breath to relax, as if that could possibly happen when standing between her two biggest fears—a horse and Banning. “Yes,” she finally said.

He helped her up and then winked at her. “Did you fall when you were young?”

She nodded.

“How old were you?”

“S—Six,” she muttered. Her hands grew damp as she clutched the bridle.

“You can do this, Avis.” Banning moved toward the front of the horse.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to lead the horse so she doesn’t startle.” He grabbed the lead and slowly walked around in a circle.

The entire time Avis forced herself to keep her eyes open and breathe. The slow canter wasn’t dreadful. In fact, the more Banning led her around, the more she started to enjoy the sensation of the horse under her and the view from the saddle.

“How are you doing?” Banning said, looking back at her.

“I am doing fine…better than that, I’m actually enjoying it.”

He smiled at her. “I thought you might. Should I let go so you can lead her?”

“No!”

A chuckle was his only reply. After a few more rounds in a circle, he stopped Buttercup and turned back toward her. “Had enough for one day?”

“Yes.” She smiled down at him. “But I wouldn’t be averse to trying this again some time.”

Avis glanced down the field and noticed the group of men with their rifles riding across the grass. She had forgotten about the hunt. After Banning helped her down, she said, “Why didn’t you join the hunt today?”

He stiffened slightly and looked away from her. “I must have forgotten.”

“But weren’t you out here when the men left?”

“I wanted to teach you how to ride,” he said quickly.

“But you love to hunt. I remember years ago at a country party at Talbot Abbey how you talked about the entire hunt from start to finish. My goodness you must have gone on about it—”

“Avis, I didn’t want to hunt today. I have to go now.” He stormed off, leaving her standing near Buttercup unsure what to do next.

A stableboy took the reins and led the horse away while Avis remain motionless, watching Banning stride toward the house. What was it about the hunt that angered him so? Even Jennette had remarked on how much pride Banning took in his hunting abilities, so why the change? Avis halted her steps.

We both know you’d never use a pistol.

Somerton had said those words outside the carriage at the inn. Could Banning have an aversion to pistols now? If so, what could have caused that to happen?

Slowly she walked to the house and then toward her room to spend the rest of the day mulling over her situation. Banning had helped her overcome one of her fears. But could he assist her with her biggest fear of all? She wanted that above all else. She missed him when he wasn’t near. She missed his smile, his humor, and his conversations. More than anything, she missed the look of love in his eyes for her.

As she neared her room, the sound of children crying made her stop in front of the open door. Mary Martin stood in the middle of the room, a screaming infant in one arm, and a raging two-year-old pulling at her other hand. Tears fell down her cheeks.

“Do you need some assistance?” Avis asked.

“Oh please,” Mary answered. “Our nursemaid fell ill. Sarah has soiled herself. Ethan is screaming for no apparent reason.”

“It’s all right. I will help Sarah change—”

“No!” Sarah shouted. “Don’t want you. I want my mama.”

“Would you mind terribly if I help Sarah?” She held out the red-faced infant to Avis.

Avis’s eyes widened. “I honestly do not know much about little babies.”

“Just walk him around and maybe he will calm down for you.”

Avis stared at the boy and then reached for him. She could do this. How long could it take to change a small girl? Five minutes, maybe ten.

“Hold him up to your shoulder, maybe he needs to pass some gas,” Mary said, showing her how to lift the baby up. “Pat him on the back.”

Avis slowly patted Ethan’s back and walked the room. Mary and Sarah left for the nursery. As Avis paced and patted the infant, she noticed the lovely smell of powder and soap. She couldn’t help but rub her cheek against his bald head.

“Shh, Ethan,” she murmured. “Mama will be back in just a moment.”

He replied with a loud belch that made Avis giggle. After a few more gaseous sounds, he calmed himself. His blue eyes grew heavy with sleep.

She eased herself down into a blue chair by the window. The moment she sat, Ethan stirred. “Shh, please stay asleep,” she whispered.

He stretched his chubby arms over his head and opened his eyes. He stared at her for a second before deciding she definitely wasn’t his mother. As his mouth opened, Avis realized, she had no idea what to do. She stood and lifted him up to her shoulder, patting his back again as she walked the room. The motion did nothing to calm him.

“Please go back to sleep, Ethan,” she mumbled in his ear. She placed her hand on his bottom to shift him and finally understood his problem. “Dear Lord, I have no idea how to change a nappie.”

She glanced around and noticed a pile of clean, folded nappies on the bureau. How hard could this be? Nursemaids did this many times a day.

Too bad the nurse was sick. It should be she, not I, changing this nappie.

Gathering hold of herself, Avis grabbed a clean cloth and set Ethan on the floor. As she removed the wet nappie, she paid strict attention to how it was folded and pinned.

She lifted his legs to place the clean cloth under him and attempted to pin the nappie correctly. It took her three tries, but she finally did it.

“I did it, Ethan. I know that means nothing to you, but it does to me.”

After picking him up, she held him close and inhaled that sweet, clean baby scent. He let out a few more cries before dropping his head to her shoulder and drifting off again. Avis refused to sit down, afraid he might awaken. Instead, she slowly walked and swayed across the room.

“I want this,” she whispered to herself with a bit of surprise.

“Miss Copley, what a beautiful gown,” Olivia Roebuck gushed. “I cannot wait to be married so I may wear something other than these dreadful pastels. At least as a spinster no one notices what you wear.”

Avis counted to ten in her head. “Thank you, Miss Roebuck,” she bit out.

“I do so wish I could start the dancing with Lord Selby as you will.” Miss Roebuck sighed.

After spending most of the afternoon with Mary and her children, Avis wanted that dance with Banning. And she wasn’t about to give it up. Smiling, she said, “Well, hopefully he will ask you for a dance later.”

Miss Roebuck’s eyes glittered. “I am most certain he will at that.”

Something about the cold tone of her voice made Avis suspicious. As the girl walked away, Avis decided to keep her eye on Miss Roebuck. Before she could follow her, Banning stepped in front of her with a glass of lemonade.

His eyes twinkled as he scanned her from head to toe. “My goodness, Miss Copley. I might even like this gown better than the emerald one.”

Her lips twitched as she took the lemonade from his outstretched hand. “I rather thought you might like this one.”

He leaned in closer to her. “I would like it off of you too. More so, I believe.”

“I think I have heard that before.” This time her lips stretched into a full smile. She sipped her drink to cool her ardor. After speaking with Mary today about marriage and children, Avis finally had made a decision regarding marriage. And just coming to a decision made her feel so much more relaxed tonight. When the ball ended tonight, she would sneak into his room and tell him.

“I believe our dance is about ready to start.” He held out his arm. “Shall we?”

They walked to the edge of the dance floor. Lord Kesgrave stood near the orchestra with his wife and announced them.

“May I present to everyone the winners of the archery competition, Lord Selby and Miss Copley.”

Applause filtered throughout the room as Avis and Banning walked to the middle of the dance floor.

“Since my wife is in a delicate condition, Lord Selby and Miss Copley will start the dancing.”

Banning held his hand to hers as the orchestra started a waltz.

“I am very much out of practice,” she whispered to him.

“I believe you shall manage quite perfectly.” They glided across the floor and people slowly joined them.

“You are truly a wonderful dancer.”

“Thank you.” He smiled down at her, revealing his lovely dimples. “I daresay you are doing quite well considering you haven’t danced in ages.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d danced. The candles flickered, reflecting the shimmering fabrics of the dancers. Avis noted everything—the swish of the silk from the gowns as the dancers turned in rhythm, the warmth emanating from Banning, and the strong hold on her back. Somehow, she knew she would remember this dance for the rest of her life. The dance ended far too soon for Avis. He left her with Jennette, who had a very amused look upon her face.

“How was the dance,” she asked with a chuckle, “with my brother?”

“Quite nice,” Avis replied, not willing to give out any further information. She glanced around the room and noticed Lord Durham walking straight toward them.

“I believe this is our dance, Lady Jennette,” he said with a smile.

“Yes,” Jennette answered tightly. She took his arm and walked to the dance floor. Unfortunately, that left Avis alone and Miss Roebuck seemed determined to speak with her again.

“Miss Copley?”

That tinny voice sent a shudder down her back. “Yes, Miss Roebuck.”

Miss Roebuck linked her arm with Avis and propelled them toward the terrace door. “Might I have a word with you?”

“Outside?”

“Yes.” As they reached the doors, she continued, “I have a small problem with which I need a woman of your stature to assist me.”

“My stature?”

“Yes. Everyone knows that you are most mindful of your reputation.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.” Miss Roebuck patted Avis’s hand. “You’re a woman above reproach.”

“Am I?”

“Of course. You are the perfect spinster.”

“But I live alone,” Avis added.

Miss Roebuck stopped and looked at her. “Exactly. Yet you still manage to keep your reputation and mores higher than most of the married women here.”

“What is this about, Miss Roebuck?”

“I need to confront someone in regards to a rather delicate situation. I’d hoped you would stand up with me so I do not lose my courage.”

“Of course.” Oh dear, someone must have insulted the poor girl’s intelligence. Though Avis wondered how the woman even noticed.

“There he is,” she said, pointing toward Banning where he stood leaning against the balustrade.

“Lord Selby?”

“Yes.”

This could not be good. Miss Roebuck pulled her toward him.

“Good evening, ladies,” he said as they approached him. He frowned at Miss Roebuck and then gave Avis a questioning look.

“Lord Selby,” Miss Roebuck answered stiffly with a nod.

Avis remained silent as apprehension filled her. Could Miss Roebuck have seen them? Or heard them talking?

“Lord Selby, I asked Miss Copley to accompany me because I believe it is time you were brought to task for what you have done.”

Avis felt the blood drain from her face. How could Miss Roebuck have seen them?

Banning stiffened. “What exactly have I done, Miss Roebuck?”

“Oh! As if you didn’t know.” She turned toward Avis. “Can you believe he is acting this way after he used me so?”

“Used you?”
Avis asked. She doubted Banning had done anything untoward to this young lady.

“He took me to his estate in Southwold, telling me all manner of sweet tales, including how he would marry me.” Miss Roebuck wiped a very forced looking tear from her eye.

“I what?” Banning roared.

Avis stepped between them. “Now, now, Lord Selby. I am quite certain we can determine exactly what happened.” Because she would never let this little witch compromise herself with him. “Now, Miss Roebuck. Are you trying to tell me that you were the woman Lord Selby was seen with at the inn in Stowmarket?”

“Yes, I was there. Even the innkeeper saw me there.”

“You were there with your parents,” Banning rasped.

“No, my lord. I was there with you.” Miss Roebuck took Avis’s hand. “Do you see why I needed your help? He ruined me and now wants nothing to do with me. He even signed us in as Mr. and Mrs. Talbot. I just assumed he meant to marry me. I never thought he would ruin me so.”

Dear Lord, she had to do something. If Miss Roebuck spread her venom to anyone else, Mr. Roebuck would demand Banning marry the chit.

“Miss Roebuck, did you really go to Southwold with him?” A small smile tugged at Avis’s lips.

“Of course.”

“Oh, do tell me about the place. I have heard it is very lovely.”

Banning cleared his throat. “Miss Copley, I really do not think—”

“It was a beautiful estate,” Miss Roebuck interrupted.

“Large?”

“Huge! Twenty bedrooms, a lovely conservatory, gardens, and pathways. And servants, too many to even count!”

Avis smile coyly. “Twenty bedrooms? My, that is rather large.”

Banning glanced over her head. “Avis, be careful,” he whispered.

“And yet,” Avis continued, tapping a finger on her lip, “I seem to recall there only being two bedrooms in Southwold.”

“Avis, don’t say—”

“And only Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway, the caretakers.”

“Avis!”

“Oh my God! You went away with
my brother
!” Jennette’s voice sounded from behind her.

Avis slowly turned around to see at least fifteen people standing agape behind her. Including Jennette and her mother. Heat scorched Avis’s cheeks as she stared at the crowd.

“Well, that is what I was trying to explain to Miss Copley,” Miss Roebuck said to Jennette. “I went away with your brother, and he needs to marry me now.”

Lady Selby approached them with a satisfied look upon her face. Jennette trailed behind her. Looking at Miss Roebuck, Lady Selby said, “My dear girl, you most certainly
did not
go to Southwold with my son. Banning, Miss Copley, I believe we need to have a discussion in Lord Kesgrave’s study.”

“But what about me?” Miss Roebuck whined. “He ruined me!”

“He did no such thing,” Lady Selby said with a wave of her hand. “If you had been to Southwold, you would know, as Miss Copley did, that it is a mere cottage. There are not twenty bedrooms and a legion of servants there.”

Lady Selby cast a sideways glance at Avis. “So the real question is, exactly how did Miss Copley know?”

Miss Roebuck’s eyes grew large.

Avis attempted to gain control over her erratic breathing, but nothing could stop the short shallow breaths. “Jennette told me all about it?”

Jennette glared at her. “My brother,” she sputtered again. “You went away with my brother. I can’t believe you would do such a thing. You two hate each other.”

“To the study, all of you,” Lady Selby commanded.

Banning gripped her arm and led her past the whispering crowd. “I tried to warn you,” he murmured in her ear.

He had tried to warn her? Of course he did. But she hadn’t taken heed and now had completely ruined herself. What should she do? She smiled knowing exactly what she needed to do in this situation.

They continued down the hallway. The crowd had thinned to only Lady Selby, Jennette, Lord Kesgrave, Banning, and Avis.

“Before we talk all together, I would like a word in private with Miss Copley,” Banning announced.

Lady Selby turned and flashed a glare at him. “Five minutes.”

“Very well.”

His hand burned through the back of her dress as he propelled her into the room alone. Shutting the door behind them, he turned and said, “What do you want to do?”

Banning paced the room, waiting for an answer, hoping it would be what he desired. Avis sank into a chair and covered her pale face with her hands. Her shoulders shook. Damn. He never wanted to force her into marriage. Some persuasive coercion perhaps, but never force.

“Avis,” he murmured, dropping to his knees before her. “Whatever you want to do is all right with me. If you want to ride out the scandal, we shall. If you want to marry, we shall do that. Just please stop crying,” he said, tugging her hands away from her face.

Only she wasn’t crying, not even a tear. Her shoulders shook as she attempted to keep her laughter inside. The woman must be having a hysterical fit. He had driven her over the edge of sanity.

“Avis?”

“I am such a wicked woman, Banning.” She gave him the barest hint of a smile. “I just compromised myself in front of close to twenty people. And I enjoyed it.”

“I do so love a wicked woman,” he said, squeezing her hands with his.

“The look on Miss Roebuck’s face was worth any scandal I shall have to endure.”

He almost smiled at her…almost. Until the true meaning of her words hit him. After all that they had been through, could she possibly mean to choose a scandal over marrying him? His heart stopped for what seemed like minutes. He’d been certain she would accept marriage now.

“Oh Banning, this is not how I wanted to tell you.”

“I understand,” he said with sigh. This insane courtship was utterly over.

“I wanted to tell you tonight, after the ball,” Avis continued.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now. You’ve made your decision.”

The door swung open and his mother and sister entered. “Your five minutes are now finished,” his mother announced. “Get up off the floor, Banning. Your proposal is not needed.”

He dusted his knees off before rising to his full height. He turned toward the unyielding face of his mother. Her blue eyes glinted with some undistinguishable emotion.

“What do you mean my proposal is not needed?”

“You and Miss Copley will be married as soon as we return to London. Unless you both prefer to go directly to Surrey and be married at the estate.”

“Mother, Avis has decided—”

“Avis has no family except for young Watton,” she said with disdain. His mother looked down at Avis and frowned. “Your mother was a dear friend of mine. Very dear. If she were alive today she would be mortified by your actions.”

“With my brother,” Jennette mumbled from her spot near the window.

“Shh,” Mother reprimanded Jennette. Turning back to Avis she continued, “Since your mother is not with us, it is my duty to make certain you behave according to the mores of Society. You ran off with my son. Now you shall pay the price for your impulsiveness.”

“Mother, that is enough,” Banning stated. “You have no right to interfere in her life, or mine.”

“I am only doing what is best for you both.” She dropped to the settee with a sigh. “You are officially ruined, Avis.” She looked up at Banning. “And I expected better of you.”

Avis cleared her throat. “Your son has been a perfect gentleman. For the past few weeks, he has done nothing but ask me to marry him.
I
have dismissed his proposals.”

His mother arched a surprised brow at him and nodded. She pinched the bridge of her nose as if attempting to prevent a headache. She speared Avis with a sharp look and sized her up thoroughly, “I understand completely. Banning, please accept my apologies.” She waved her hand around the room. “Everyone leave the room but Avis.”

“Mother—”

“Out, Banning,” she said, pointing toward the door. “You may go tell everyone that your future wife will join you after a conversation with her soon to be mother-in-law.”

He glanced over at Avis. She nodded in agreement but said nothing to him. He hated the idea of leaving her alone with his mother. She had a way of getting exactly what she wanted, and she wanted him married and a grandchild on the way.

Avis watched as everyone left the room, including a very piqued looking Jennette. A talk with Jennette would have to wait until after this conversation. The room filled with silence as Banning closed the door behind him. A clock ticked away the minutes.

She glanced over at Lady Selby who stared at her silver gown as if she could find the answer to some problem in the folds of her dress. Her manner reminded Avis of both Jennette and Banning. While her hair had turned mostly to silver, a few black strands threaded through the silver. Finally, Lady Selby looked up at her with her striking blue eyes.