Christmas with the Duchess (13 page)

This revelation only made her cousin look angrier. “Where is your governess?” he demanded. “I’m beginning to think you don’t have one! Never mind! Go back to the house at once! I am shocked, Julia! Shocked and grieved.”

Julia stamped her foot. “At least
he
does not treat me like a child,” she declared, her chin quivering as she fought back tears. “He treats me like a woman!”

Nicholas raised his hand threateningly. “By God, if you do not go back to the house this instant, I will put you over my knee and spank you!”

Her face dissolving in tears, she ran away.

“As for you, sir—” Nicholas began, turning to Captain Palafox. “This is the second time I have found you importuning my little cousin.”

Palafox looked bored. “Importuning! I protest, my lord. I found the child locked in the kitchen garden. I rescued her from captivity. She told me she had an appointment at the stables. I was simply escorting her to her friends.”

“You were almost kissing her!”

“It may have appeared that way, my lord,” Palafox admitted. “She had something in her eye, and I was getting it out. Your lordship will excuse me.”

Bowing, he left Nicholas. His excuses seemed so plausible that Nicholas almost wondered if they might be true. His first inclination was to trust the word of an officer, albeit an army officer. But he still did not trust the man.

“You’re up very early,” Emma remarked as Colin slipped into her room. Seated at her escritoire, she was writing letters. She looked at him over the tops of her spectacles. “Monty’s been looking for you. What have you been up to?”

“You mustn’t question me,” he replied, sprawling on the sofa. “Ring for more chocolate, will you?” he said, after looking into the pot on the tray. “This stuff is curdled.”

Impatiently, Emma set down her pen and rang the bell.

“Have you ever thought of marrying again?” Colin asked her.

“Lord, no,” Emma replied with an astonished laugh. “Why should I?”

“No, reason,” he said, moving his feet so the servant could take away the old tray. Since parting company with Nicholas at the stables, Colin’s conscience had been troubling him. The poor man actually seemed to be in love with Emma, and he seemed to believe that his feelings were returned. This made Colin feel slightly guilty for having told Emma that Nicholas had the pox. “I was only wondering,” he went on presently. “You wouldn’t, say, want to marry young Camford, would you?”

Emma looked at him incredulously. “He has the pox.”

“Yes, I know he has the pox,” Colin said. “I’m the one who told you he has the pox. What I’m asking is: if he didn’t have the pox, would you marry him?”

“No, of course not. Colin, what is this about?” she demanded, her hands on her hips.

“Oh, nothing. Just a little wager I have going with Aunt Harriet.”

Emma laughed. “She thinks I’m going to marry Nicholas? You should feel guilty, Colin, for taking an old lady’s money.”

“It’s only ten shillings. And you’re definitely not interested in Camford?”

“Not even if he weren’t infected with the pox,” said Emma, going back to her correspondence. “Aunt Harriet might as well pay you her ten shillings now. I think I can safely promise you that I shall never marry Lord Camford!”

Colin heaved a sigh of relief, and his conscience was clear.

“Whatever happened to fair play?” Lady Harriet lamented at tea that afternoon as Colin brought her cup.

“This from a woman who locked her own niece in the kitchen garden,” Colin retorted.

“What about you?” she snapped back. “You did everything you could to spoil Octavia’s chances. How dare you expose her lies? You are shameless, sir.”

“I just happened to be going for a ride myself,” Colin said loftily. “I just happened to meet Nicholas and Octavia at the stables.”

“At eight o’clock?” she scoffed. “You never got up so early before, and you know it.”

“All right,” he said. “But you
locked
poor Julia in the garden! There is no comparison. You’ll be drowning her in the lake next, I shouldn’t wonder. That’s one way to make sure he don’t marry her!”

“I wouldn’t actually
harm
the child,” Lady Harriet said indignantly. “I wouldn’t have interfered at all, if you hadn’t interfered first.”

“Well, then, let us have a pact,” Colin said reasonably. “No more interference. Shall we let nature take its course? There’s an idea.”

“Oh, yes?” she said angrily. “Now that you have completely spoiled Octavia’s chances? Say what you will of
my
methods, but Julia may still get him if she applies herself. Thanks to you, Camford is now convinced that Octavia is a liar.”

“She
is
a liar,” Colin pointed out. “Oh, I don’t want to quarrel with you, old woman,” he added quickly. “We’ve always been friends, sort of.” Reaching into his pocket, he brought out a gold coin. “Here’s a guinea. Shall we call it even?”

Lady Harriet snatched it from him. “Considering I might have had seven hundred pounds…” she grumbled, tucking the coin into the decollete of her purple lace gown.

“What would
you
do with seven hundred pounds anyway?” he jabbed back, but his heart wasn’t really in it. His steel-blue eyes were searching the room. “Now, where the devil is Monty?” he murmured. “I’ve not seen him all day. Do you see him?”

“These officers all look alike to me,” sniffed Lady Harriet. “Their red coats and their fat necks. Perhaps your Scotsman has made a new friend,” she suggested. “Perhaps you should have paid more attention to him instead of chasing after poor Octavia.”

“It’s not like him to miss his tea,” Colin fretted. “He gets a sick headache if he misses his tea. I’d better go and see if he’s all right.”

Absently, he handed Lady Harriet his cup, and made his way out of the room.

He found Monty in his room, writing letters.

“Monty? Aren’t you coming down for tea?” he called curiously from the door. “We have those little cakes you like. Shall we risk going down together?” he added waggishly.

Monty would not look at him. “Something has happened. I have to go.”

The door to his dressing room stood open and Colin could see Monty’s man within, packing his master’s trunks.

“You’re leaving?” Colin said incredulously. “Why? What has happened?”

Monty set down his pen and sprinkled sand over the letter he was writing to absorb any excess ink. “My father’s ill. I am called home.”

Colin sat down on the chest at the foot of the bed. “I can always tell when you’re lying, Monty,” he said. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Monty sprang up from the desk. “Very well,” he said. “When I woke up this morning,
this
had been pushed under the door.” He threw a screwed-up piece of paper at Colin.

Colin calmly smoothed it out and read it. “An anonymous warning,” he observed contemptuously, “sent by some well-meaning soul, no doubt.”

“No doubt!”

“‘Lord Colin is a backgammon player. You have been warned,’” Colin read out loud before tossing the scrap of paper aside in disgust. “Oh, how tiresome! It’s Eton all over again. I do hope you’re not too shocked, dear boy,” he added dryly.

“I certainly intend to make it look that way!” Monty replied grimly. “If this gets back to my regiment, I’m done for.”

“They couldn’t bring it to a trial,” Colin scoffed. “There’s no proof of anything.”

“The chaps in my regiment won’t bother themselves about proof,” said Monty. “They’ll just kill me in my sleep to preserve the honor of the regiment.”

“Sell out, then, you goose! The war’s over, anyway.”

“You’d like me to sell out, wouldn’t you?” Monty said bitterly.

“Look, don’t panic. This is about
me,
” said Colin. “I stand accused, not
you.
This charming letter says absolutely nothing about
you.
If you were suspected, would your well-wisher have sent you this friendly warning? No!”

“Lots of people got them, not just me. Oh, God! If my father hears of this, he’ll cut me off without a penny.”

Colin shrugged impatiently. “So what if he does? We’ll go abroad. We’ll go to Paris. The French are not such prudes. We wouldn’t be treated like criminals there.”

Monty set his jaw. “Go to Paris? With no money?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Monty,” said Colin. “I’ve got plenty of money.”

Monty shook his head angrily. “Oh, no. You’re not going to pay my way.”

“Why on earth not?”

“Because I am not one your boys,” Monty said coldly.

He was gone within the hour.

“Who could have done such a cruel, cowardly thing?” Emma murmured, passing the note back to Otto that evening in her sitting room. “They are all over the house. Captain Palafox brought this one to me, but he said most of the officers got something similar. Will Colin be arrested, do you think?”

“On the basis of an anonymous note? I shouldn’t think so,” said Otto. “There’s no proof of anything criminal. Is there?” he asked sharply, looking at his younger brother.

Colin walked about Emma’s sitting room restlessly. “No, of course not. I’m always very careful. There’s no proof of anything. We don’t write letters, and I trust my servants completely.”

“The servants are of no consequence,” said Otto. “Their testimony would be meaningless in court.”

“Maybe I should just leave,” Colin pouted, looking at his siblings. “You don’t really want me around. You don’t accept me. Not really. You just pretend to. I know you’re all really ashamed of me. You’ll be glad when I’m gone.”

Emma found his self-pity infuriating. “That’s right, Colin,” she snapped. “
We
wrote the letters! Otto and I were up all night, scribbling them out, left-handed to disguise our handwriting. Then we scurried all over the house, shoving them under doors like demented postmen! We have
always
stood by you. When one of us is attacked, we are all attacked. It’s just a pity that your
friend
doesn’t have more courage,” she added scathingly.

“You don’t know anything about Monty!” Colin shouted at her. “You don’t know anything about anything! I’m leaving. I will go to Paris and spend Christmas gambling and drinking in the Palais Royal. In Paris, I can be
myself.
”

“Oh, spare me your self-pity,” Emma called after him angrily as he made for the door. “Do you think you’re the only person who’s ever been forced to live a lie?”

Otto’s calm voice stopped their brother at the door. “Colin, you cannot run away. If you leave now, it’s as good as an admission of guilt, and it may be assumed you are going to meet Monteith. There will be consequences for
him,
if not for you.”

“Oh, who cares about
him?
” cried Emma. “
He
ran away at the first sign of trouble. From this moment, I have no opinion of Lord Ian Monteith!”

“I believe our brother cares about him,” Otto told her gently.

Colin flung himself down in a chair. “Perfect!” he said bitterly. “Just perfect. Happy Christmas to me. Stuck here with you lot!”

“Yes, we’re fairly excited about it, too,” Emma said dryly.

“I am going to find out who did this,” Colin fumed, “and I am going to get him.”

“Count me in,” Emma said immediately. “Otto?”

“Revenge is a dish best served cold,” said Otto.

“In that case, can we count on
you
to supply the ice?” said Emma.

“You don’t think I’d let you two fools go about it on your own, do you?” he answered dryly. Parting his coat tails, he sat down and crossed his legs. “Get out your notebook, Emma, and let us convene this council of war.”

Emma obediently opened her journal to a clean page.

“First, we identify the enemy,” Otto began. “Then we formulate a plan to destroy him. Then we execute said plan.”

“It was obviously General Bellamy,” Colin said presently. “He became positively incensed on the subject of buggery last night.”

Emma made a face. “But I know his ugly black scrawl,” she said. “He wrote me a cheeky letter. I don’t think he’s clever enough to disguise his handwriting.”

“And he was far too drunk to have accomplished anything last night,” Otto pointed out. “It’s obviously a woman.”

Emma frowned at him. “Why do you say that?”

“Men are forthright. They favor the direct attack, preferably physical. A man would simply find Colin on his own and beat him to a pulp.”

“That’s how they did it at school, anyway,” said Colin. “I don’t remember anybody passing notes under doors at Eton.”

“Quite,” said Otto. “But women are deplorably sneaky. And it looks like a woman’s handwriting to me.”

Emma frowned, but she was unable to argue the point. “It would have to be someone who knows the house,” she said. “None of these officers’ wives have ever been here before.”

“That leaves Aunt Susan, Aunt Harriet, and Aunt Anne,” said Otto.

“It could have been Octavia,” said Colin. “We quarreled this morning at the stables.”

“Did you?” said Emma. “But the letters would have been delivered sometime last night. She could not have predicted that you would quarrel with her the following morning.”

“True,” he said. “Well, it must be Aunt Susan, then. Aunt Harriet is a friend of mine, and poor Anne wouldn’t say boo to a goose.” Colin’s steel-blue eyes glinted. “Now, then,” he said. “What are we going to do about it?”

The duchess was very late in arriving for dinner that evening, and the company went in to the banquet hall like a pack of hungry wolves. Colin sat between Lady Harriet and his sister-in-law, Lady Scarlingford. Cecily’s nervous laughter drifted down the room. To Emma’s left, Captain Palafox kept up a stream of easy banter, while farther down the table, Otto conversed in his careful, perfect French with Lady Michael. Nicholas divided his attention between Lady Susan and Mrs. Camperdine, the wife of General Bellamy’s quartermaster. Nothing unpleasant took place until the ladies withdrew.

“Shouldn’t you retire with the other ladies, Lord Colin?” General Bellamy began at once. “Lord Colin Buggerbum, that’s what you are, from what I hear!”

He sniggered, vastly pleased with his witticism. Hardly anyone laughed, and more gentlemen than usual left the room for the privy.

“Just ignore him,” Otto quietly advised his brother. “Whatever the provocation.”

“I am looking forward to my first riding lesson, Lord Colin,” Nicholas said. “Her grace assures me that I cannot get along in the country unless I learn all about horses. Would tomorrow morning be convenient for you?”

Colin shrugged. “I seem to have plenty of free time,” he said dryly. “If you’re sure you still want me for a teacher,” he added. “Or didn’t you get a letter?”

“I did,” said Nicholas, “and a number of these officers were good enough to share theirs with me as well.”

Lord Hugh cleared his throat delicately. “Perhaps, Nephew, it would be better if one of your cousins were to give you lessons. All my girls are excellent riders.”

“But what does your nephew want with a girl, Hugh?” snorted the general. “He’s a bloody navy man.”

Lord Hugh glared at his brother-in-law. “You go too far, Bellamy,” he complained.

“You don’t care if the boy’s a shirt-lifter, as long as he marries one of your ugly daughters,” the general retorted.

“Let’s just finish our port and rejoin the ladies, shall we?” Lord Michael interrupted.

“But there
is
a lady among us!” cried General Bellamy. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! She wants a good bumming, too, unless I miss my guess.”

“Uncle Bellamy, you’re drunk,” Lord Michael snapped. “As loathe as I would be to aggrieve my Aunt Susan, if you cannot keep a civil tongue in your head, I shall have to ask you to leave Warwick.”

“But don’t you care that there is a pederast among us?” the general bawled. “You arouse my suspicions, Lord Michael. Indeed, you do! What possible reason could you have for wanting someone like that around? Hmmm? You do not answer me, sir!”

“You remind me of a mate we had on board when I was a midshipman on the
Redoubtable,
” Nicholas said suddenly. “He had buggery on the brain, I think. He went about accusing everyone of having indecent relations with everybody else.”

“He was probably right,” snarled the general. “That’s the Royal Navy for you.”

“As it happens, he was only trying to deflect suspicion from himself,” Nicholas answered calmly. “One night, we caught him trying to rape the cabin boy. Turns out,
he
was the only danger we had on board. We hanged him off the yardarm and buried him at sea. Now, whenever I hear someone going on and on about buggery, I can’t help but think of him, and wonder.”

The general glared at him helplessly. “What are you implying, sir?”

“Shall we rejoin the ladies?” Lord Michael said quickly.

“What happened?” Emma demanded of Colin, when the gentlemen joined the ladies in the drawing room a little later. She was sitting a little apart from the others with Cecily. The general went immediately to the card tables set up at the back of the room, and surrounded himself with his officers. “The general looks as though he’s about to have an apoplexy!”

“He is rather puce,” Colin said smugly. “But your young man put him in his place.”

“Captain Palafox?” Emma said incredulously. “I would have thought Charles much too politic to antagonize a superior officer!”

“O faithless one,” Colin chided her. “I refer to lovesick young Camford, of course.
He
defended my honor most admirably. Though I can’t help but think that, if you were not my sister, he’d like to see me and all my kind hanged off the yard-axe or whatever it is.”

Quickly, he told her about the unpleasant exchange that had taken place over port.

“That was very good of Nicholas,” Emma admitted. “It’s a pity he has the pox.”

“I suppose I ought to tell you,” Colin said slowly. “He doesn’t actually have the pox.”

Emma opened her fan and spoke behind the Italian scene painted on its silk-covered silver blades. “You mean he’s cured?”

“No. He never had it.”

“But you
told
me he had the pox,” Emma reminded him.

“Ixnay on the oxpay,” said Colin. “Croft was mistaken.”

Emma frowned. “How do we know he isn’t mistaken now when he says Nicholas doesn’t have the pox.”

“When I say that Croft was mistaken, what I mean is that I lied.”

“You
lied?
” Emma echoed in disbelief.

“I made the whole thing up,” he clarified.

“Colin, how could you lie about something like that?”

“I had a bet going with Aunt Harriet,” he explained. “But that’s all over now. He’s clean as the proverbial whistle. In fact, he’s a virgin.”

Emma stared at him. “A what?”

“Are you so far gone that you don’t even
remember
what a virgin is?” Colin teased her.

“This is ridiculous,” said Emma, fanning herself rapidly. “He’s been all over the world.”

“But not to Singapore.”

“What does
that
mean?” Emma demanded.

“It
means
that
you
could be the lucky lady who
takes
him to Singapore,” Colin said. “Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

Emma sighed. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve moved on, Colin. There’s Charles to think of now. From the moment he arrived, he has devoted himself to me. It wouldn’t be fair to throw him over. It’d break his heart.”

Colin gave a loud snort. “Let me tell you about your friend Palafox! He’s been caught twice in as many days making love to little Julia Fitzroy. If Nicholas hadn’t caught them this morning, Palafox would probably have ravished her in the shrubbery!”

Emma laughed incredulously. “Oh, yes! And, I suppose, he has the pox as well?”

“Ask Nicholas if you don’t believe me.”

Emma snapped her fan closed. “Perhaps I will ask him now,” she threatened.

“I dare you,” Colin responded with a shrug.

Nicholas was sitting in a quiet corner of the room playing chess with Otto. “Cecily wants you,” Emma told her elder brother, walking up to them. When Otto had gone, she sat down in his place. “Is it my turn?” she asked Nicholas.

“Are you sure it’s safe for us to be together like this?” he whispered. “People are looking.”

“I’m sure it’s very dangerous,” she answered. “But I feel reckless this evening.”

Taking up the white knight, she moved it diagonally across the board until it collided with the white bishop on the other side of the board.

Nicholas smiled. “That is not how a knight moves, ma’am,” he told her. “And you cannot take your own man. Not if you want to win.”

“Is that so? Otto has taught you well.”

“But I already knew how to play,” he told her. “I often played with my captain.”

She smiled faintly. “At sea? But don’t the pieces slide all over the place?”

“Not at all. I carved the pieces with little pegs on the bottom, and drilled little holes in the chessboard.”

“And the little pegs fit in the little holes, do they? How ingenious. But I didn’t come here to talk to you about chess,” she went on. “I have been hearing the cruelest gossip about poor Captain Palafox.”

Nicholas’s eyes lit up with anger. “Poor Captain Palafox, indeed!” he said angrily.

“Lower your voice. Go on!” she urged him, as he obeyed her with complete silence.

“Emma, that man is not to be trusted,” he whispered. “Yesterday, I caught him in my room with Julia. I told him she was not yet sixteen, but his interest in her was undiminished. This afternoon, I found them together again in the shrubbery. They appeared to be very…intimate. He gave me some story about her having something in her eye, but I—I do not like to accuse an officer of lying, of course…”

“I see,” Emma said, tight-lipped with anger. “Something in her eye.”

“If he were not a friend of Lord Michael’s, I think I would be obliged to challenge him.”

“I will speak to my brother-in-law about his friend’s behavior,” said Emma.

“I did want to warn you about him,” said Nicholas. “He seemed to be flattering you at dinner. I should have known you would see right through him.”

“Of course,” said Emma. With a wave of her hand, she dismissed the subject of Palafox completely. “Where’s your queen?” she asked Nicholas curiously, looking at the board. “Or don’t you have one?”

“Your brother has taken it,” he answered. “But I am not at all worried. I will get her back when my pawn crosses the board. Then I shall checkmate him in two moves. There’s really nothing he can do about it. But he thinks he can still win.”