Circles of Fate (20 page)

“Courage?” said Anita, puzzled enough to make a comment.

“Happiness isn't always easy. Sometimes it takes great courage to be happy.”

Mentally, Anita smoothed the crease frown from her forehead. Her eyes looked less worried.

Cathy, who had been so quiet that they'd both forgotten she was there, went over to Edward. Two slender arms enclosed his neck. “Thank you for letting me stay. Thank you.”

It came to Anita that Cathy adored Edward and would take him on any terms, but Edward's affection for herself must have cast a shadow of unease on her happiness. To an onlooker it must have seemed an odd sort of relationship. At times it had seemed odd to her, too.

Relationship! Of course, she was Edward's niece and she could love him without feeling guilty or in fear of hurting Cathy.

So many things were now clear. Inez had not gone back to Leyenda because although she had refused to admit that she, Anita, was not her own child, she had not wanted to show her off as Enrique Cortez's true grandchild. That would have been a lie. Her own feminine logic would make it right to live a lie, but would forbid her to introduce her lie into her father's house.

Cathy was saying : “I'm so happy for you, Anita.” Exactly as if she had been given news that should make her rejoice. “Whatever you do, at least the decision will be yours. Don't blame Edward too much for not telling you straight away. He had his reasons.”

Anita's brain cleared.

“You mean ... Felipe? Of course, now there is no barrier, I must go to him straight away. Help me, Cathy. There's so much to do. I must phone for a plane reservation and decide what to pack.”

Edward said: “Are you certain this is what you want?”

“You mean,” she said, borrowing his own words, “have I the courage to be happy? As Enrique Cortez's son, Felipe doesn't have to prove himself, but even if he finds he cannot forsake the bull-ring, it doesn't make any difference. You understand, don't you, Cathy?”

Cathy blinked and nodded.

Unexpectedly it was Edward who kissed her cheek and said: “I also understand. But you're not rushing off anywhere in a hurry. First you'll listen to Uncle Edward.” He grinned at the look she gave him and then said: “That privilege must go to Felipe. I'll cable him a full account. Then it's up to him.”

Anita was just about to voice an objection when she realized that Edward had said Felipe and not that Spaniard fellow. She was so pleased that at last his critical resistance had broken down that she agreed to sit back and wait. Frustrating as this policy was, at least she was saved the necessity of a long, involved explanation. A cable, void of dramatic inflections, would do the job much better.

Many times Anita lived an imaginary reunion scene. For some obscure reason she was always dressed in blue, the lovely deep blue of lapis lazuli. An impossible fantasy because her wardrobe didn't contain one item of this colour. Her turned chin would quiver at sight of him and she would shed one single tear which would poise on her cheek before falling. One tear symbolizing the million her frozen heart had been unable to shed. And, amid the hope and anticipation, the hint of worry insistently occupying a place in her mind. The gentle, vague anxiety that Felipe might not still want her.

Cathy and Edward had gone to the cinema. They had asked Anita to go with them, but she had declined, saying truthfully that she was too restless to sit through a film, however absorbing.

She pottered. Ironing two aprons and a blouse. She washed out two slips and a sweater. She read until nine o'clock, wished she'd gone to the cinema with Cathy and Edward, toyed with the idea of going to bed.

The doorbell rang.

Her heart seemed to trip over her feet as she raced to answer it, unmindful of her creased skirt, unmade-up face and hair unromantically looped back in a rubber band.

She opened the door, drew on a deep breath and said rather shakily:

“Felipe.”

The message in his eyes was clear and simple and it didn't take any nerve at all to step into his arms. They kissed in full view of anyone who happened to be in the hall, and as the tension eased from her body, his fingers removed the confining rubber band and her hair fell like a silky caress against her cheek. Her scalp tingled with prickles of excitement as his fingers combed her hair.

“It's been my ambition to do that for a long time,” he said.

He eased her away for a moment, his tone had held her in slight awe, but his eyes were lustrous and teasing and reminded her of her own dearest ambition. To have a child inherit her mother's splendid eyes which, and she couldn't think why she hadn't noticed it before, were so like Felipe's.

But she kept forgetting about Inez. It was not possible. Her glance locked with Felipe's and her throat caught on a deep and satisfying thought. It was possible.