City of Sin (2 page)

Bee

I pressed the buzzer outside of Marie and Carter's apartment
building. "Marie, it's me. Let me in." I pulled my jacket tightly
around myself. No answer came through the speaker system. I pressed the button
again. "Marie, please, it's freezing!"

A second later the door buzzed.
Yes.
I grabbed the
handle and almost ran inside. Marie was the first friend I had made in New
York. She used to work at Kruger Advertising with Kendra and me. She had gotten
a promotion a few months ago and then used her new position as leverage for a
better pay grade at another ad agency, Blue Media. She had her dream job and
Carter worked for the same company as her. They were the nicest power couple I
had ever met. And Marie hadn't started as a secretary. I couldn't help but
think I was on the wrong path. If I wanted to be where she was in a few years,
I really needed to make a change. Maybe Kendra was right. I was just worried
Mr. Ellington would be mad if I spoke up during the meeting. And I was so tired
of feeling afraid.

I knocked on Marie's door and she immediately opened it.

"Hey, Bee!" She gave me a big hug. "Geez, I
feel like it's been forever since we've gotten to hang out."

"I know. I guess Carter's keeping you busy?"

She laughed. "No, my new job has been keeping me
busy." She released me from her embrace. "How is everyone at Kruger
doing?"

"Great."

"Even you?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"So Mr. Ellington isn't driving you crazy anymore?"

I laughed. "No, he still is."

"Hopefully you won't have to deal with him for too much
longer. And as soon as you get a promotion and get some experience, I think I
can land you an even better job with me."

I smiled.
If I ever get a promotion.
I didn't want to
think about that right now.

"Hey, Bee," Carter said as he emerged from their
bedroom.

Oh my God.
That's why they hadn't let me in right
away. They had been having sex. Carter's hair was all mussed up in the back.
Awkward.
"Hey, Carter."

"I'm starving," he said and sat down at the table.
"What's for dinner?"

Marie laughed. "Pizza. I already ordered it."

"Perfect. Were you guys talking about Mason?"

"Carter! I haven't even brought that up yet."

"Oh, sorry, babe."

Marie laughed.

"Who's Mason?" I sat down on the opposite side of
the table as Carter.

"Well, I was waiting for a good segue, but this will
have to do." She sat down next to Carter. "He's this guy that we work
with at Blue Media."

"Okay?"

"Bee, he's a really nice guy. And super charming."

"That's nice." Is that really why they had asked me
to come over for dinner? To set me up on a date? I folded my arms across my
chest.

"And he's really handsome."

"Really handsome?" Carter said. "I mean...I
wouldn't say really handsome."

Marie laughed."Not as handsome as you, babe."

Carter smiled at her.

"Yeah...no," I said.

"No? We didn't even ask you a question yet," Marie
said.

"The answer is no. I'm not going on a date with your
weird coworker."

"He's not weird," Marie said. "He's really
cool."

"He sounds awful."

Marie laughed. "He's actually super awesome. And I told
him all about you. He can't wait to meet you. You have a date tomorrow night at
8."

"Wait, what?"

"It's already set."

"I'm not going on a date tomorrow night. I have
plans."

"Plans to watch T.V. alone in your apartment?"

"Why does everyone think that's all I do?"

"Because you do it a lot."

"Okay, fine. I like binge watching awesome T.V. shows.
Is that so wrong? And I do have plans. I'm going to go to a bar with Kendra
tomorrow night."
Maybe.

"No, you're going on a super awesome date with Mason
tomorrow night. Which you won't regret because he's great."

"Great? I doubt that. What's wrong with him? Why would
he agree to go on a blind date? No one does that. That's like the most awkward
thing ever. He's probably a serial killer."

"People do it all the time. He's not a serial killer.
He's a successful, handsome, businessman."

"Yeah, well I don't like successful, handsome,
businessmen. You know that." I bit my lip. I didn't want to think about
Patrick.
Stop thinking about Patrick!

A buzzing noise sounded in the apartment.

"That would be the pizza," Marie said and stood up.
"Just think about it, okay, Bee?"

No.
"Okay."

Carter got up and answered the door as Marie grabbed some
plates.

"What do you want to drink?" Marie asked.
"White or red?" She held up two bottles of wine.

"White's good."

***

I was on my second glass of wine. The more I drank, the more
I started to think about Patrick. I always tried to be good around Carter. It
was awkward that he was still friends with Patrick. I knew they hung out. I ran
my thumb along the spot where my engagement ring used to be. I just needed to
know something. Anything. "Have you seen Patrick recently?" I looked
up at Carter.

He glanced at Marie and then back at me. "Yeah, we
usually catch the Giants games together. I saw him last weekend."

"Oh. Cool. How is he doing?" I tried to hide the
eagerness in my voice. I hadn't heard from Patrick in months. I just wanted to
know if he was still hurting too. Time was supposed to heal you. But I still
felt broken. I was worried that I always would. Just thinking about him made me
want to cry. I took a huge sip of my wine.

"He's good, Bee."

"Good. That's really great. I'm glad he's good."

We were all quiet for a minute.

"So when you say good..." I let my voice trail off.
"Is he seeing anyone right now?" That's what I really wanted to know.
I wanted to know if he had moved on.

"What does seeing someone even mean these days? Am I
right?" Marie laughed awkwardly.

"Does that mean he is?"

"Bee. It's been six months," Marie said. "You
need to move on too."

He's seeing someone else?
My chest hurt. I took
another sip of wine. I wasn't sure why I was surprised. He had moved on while
he was still engaged to me. But the more time passed, the more I thought about
the good things and not the bad. I missed him. I missed what we used to be. He
had promised me that he'd never leave me.

"So, what is this Mason guy like?" My voice sounded
small. I wanted to move on too. I wanted to be able to heal.

"He's super handsome," Carter said and laughed.

Marie rolled her eyes. "He's fun. I think he's exactly
the kind of guy you should be dating right now."

"So he's gross?"

"No. He just knows how to have a good time. He's always
the life of the party. Like I said before, he's charming."

"Is he friends with Patrick too?"

"Not that I know of." Marie looked at Carter.

"I don't think they've ever met," Carter said.

"Okay. I'll do it."

Bee

I jumped onto my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. My
apartment was cold. Everything was cold. I was homesick. The only reason I had
come here was Patrick. And now that he was gone, I wasn't sure what I was
doing. I couldn't afford to continue living here on a secretary's salary. The
apartment had seemed warm and full of life when Patrick had been here with me.
But now it was easy to see it for what it really was. It was rundown and the
heater was on the fritz.

I didn't want to pitch my ideas during the staff meeting
tomorrow. And I didn't want to go on a blind date with some random guy. I was
so sick of this city. Nothing good had happened to me here. New York had taken
everything from me. All I wanted to do was go home.

Before I could change my mind, I picked up my cell phone,
scrolled through my contact list, and pressed the call button. The phone rang.

"Hi, sweetie! How's the big city treating you?"

"Hi, Mom." My voice caught slightly.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I just want to come home." I pulled my knees to my
chest.

"Oh, Bee." Her voice was soothing.

I couldn't help it. I started to cry. It was so nice to hear
her voice. "Mom. I hate it here. What am I doing?"

"What happened? I thought you liked your new job? And
what about all the new friends you said you made? You seemed so happy last time
we talked."

"No." I always tried to pretend everything was okay
around my mother. I didn't want her to have to worry about me. But I needed her
right now. "I'm stuck. I don't think I'll ever move up in the
company."

"Sweetie, you've never been scared of hard work. What's
really wrong?"

"Everything. I don't belong here. I never wanted to come
to this city in the first place. I followed Patrick here blindly. I lost myself
in him. What the hell was I thinking?"

"You were in love. You weren't thinking."

I laughed and wiped away the tears under my eyes. "God,
I feel like such an idiot."

"You know you can always come home. But don't let
Patrick be the reason that you're running away from the city."

"I just feel so defeated. I don't know why it still
hurts so much."

"I know. You remind me so much of myself, Bee. We both
love so hard that we forget to take care of our own hearts."

My father had cheated on her. When she found out, it had
completely broken her. I grew up faster watching the pain in her eyes. And I
told myself I would never let it happen to me. Patrick had seemed like such a
nice guy, though. The perfect guy. I felt like we were two parts of a whole.
The city had gotten in our way. Or maybe he had expected me to change somehow.
But I thought that he loved me the way I was.
The way I am.

I didn't want to fall apart because of him. He didn't deserve
that. If he didn't need me than I certainly didn't need him. My mom was right.
If I left the city now it would be because of him. I ran my thumb along the
spot where my engagement ring used to be. I wouldn't give Patrick the
satisfaction.

"Does it get easier?" I asked.

"It does. It just takes time."

"More than six months I guess?"

"Maybe a little more than six months. I know I said you
were a lot like me, Bee. But you're different in a lot of ways too. You're
stronger than me."

"Mom..."

"You are. You're going to do everything you set out to
do in New York. And one day you're going to stop thinking about Patrick. And
you'll find the person that you're really meant to be with."

"I doubt I'll find him here. Everyone is so unfriendly
here. And rude. Everyone just seems grumpy and like they're on a deadline all
the time. I think they could all use a few weeks off in the suburbs."

My mom laughed. "You're in the heart of corporate
America. Maybe try to find your dream guy in a different part of town than Wall
Street?"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. I actually have a
date tomorrow."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Marie and Carter set me up on a blind date with a
guy they work with."

"That's wonderful."

I sighed. "Maybe. I don't think a guy who works in
advertising is a great fit for me."

"But you work in advertising."

"No, I work as a secretary at an ad agency. And all the
guys I work with are total pigs."

My mom laughed. "Well, either way, I'm glad to hear
you're getting back out there. Wait, doesn't Carter work for an ad
agency?"

"Yeah, but he's different. He's Carter. Marie and him
are perfect together."

"Maybe this guy tomorrow could be your Carter. They work
together and they're friends."

"And Carter is also friends with Patrick. I think I
still might come home."

"I'm not stopping you, Bee. Just don't make any rash
decisions while you're not thinking straight again."

"I'll try." I pulled my blanket up to my chin
again. "Is it really cold there too?"

My mom laughed. "I'm only two and a half hours away from
where you are. Of course it's cold here."

"It feels like I'm on another continent."

"Maybe I should come up for a visit. I've never gotten
to see your place."

I looked around the empty room. Patrick had taken all the
furniture except for the mattress and the small table set in the kitchen. I
didn't want my mom to see where I lived. She worried about me enough without
seeing my living conditions. "Soon. I've been slammed at work
recently."

"Okay. Well, keep me updated if things change. I'd love
to come up for the weekend. Just us girls. I can crash on your couch. It'll be
fun."

I don't have a couch.
"Mhm. That sounds great.
I'll keep you posted. I should probably get some sleep. I have a long day
tomorrow."

"And a sexy date at night."

I laughed. "Of course."

"Call me to tell me all about it. And text me when you
get in tomorrow night. I just want to make sure you're safe."

"Marie and Carter already promised me that he wasn't a
serial killer."

"Most serial killers don't go around telling people
they're serial killers."

"I know. I'll text you."

"Goodnight, sweetie."

"Night, Mom."

Bee

I pulled on a pencil skirt and my nicest blouse. Kendra was
right. I needed to pitch my ideas at the meeting today if I ever wanted Mr.
Ellington to really listen to me. Looking nice gave me a boost of confidence. I
slid on a pair of stilettos. Normally I'd wear flats to work. Especially when
it was so cold outside. But today I almost wanted the extra height. As if being
taller somehow made what I had to say in the meeting more believable.

I looked down at the dress laid out on my bed that I had
picked out for my date later. It was sophisticated. When I met Patrick in
college, I had been wearing cutoff jean shorts and a tank top. I didn't want to
attract another guy like him. Sophisticated was good. I bit my lip. Or maybe I
just didn't even want Mason to like me. I was sabotaging myself.

I tried to dismiss the thought as I grabbed my winter jacket
and pulled it on. My date wasn't until eight. I'd have time to come back and
pick out another outfit if I wanted. I rushed out of my apartment and down the
stairs. The elevator had been broken for months. I wasn't sure if it was ever
going to be fixed. But I had tackled these stairs in heels before.

The rush of cold air when I opened the door chilled me to the
bone. It didn't matter what my mom said. Delaware never seemed this cold. Maybe
the wind was stronger, pushing through all the sky rise buildings. I stared at
the ground as I made my way to the subway. If I couldn't see any homeless
people, I couldn't give them the rest of my money. My mom wouldn't just
abandoned the idea of visiting me soon. And if she wanted to visit, I needed to
save up to buy a couch. I would have tried to get a roommate, but that didn't
exactly work in a studio apartment. Besides, the idea of getting a roommate I
didn't know freaked me out too much. And the idea of moving into a different
apartment freaked me out even more. My small apartment was the closest thing I
had to a home right now. Even without Patrick in it.

I got onto the A train. I thought it would be fun to people
watch on the subway. But it wasn't. There was no one as depressing as someone
on the subway going to work. Everyone looked so sad and tired. It was like
everyone in the city was depressed and in serious need of uppers. I couldn't
judge them though. I had become one of them. I'm sure anyone who looked at me
could see the sadness in my eyes. I wasn't even sure who I was anymore. But
whoever I had become was the kind of person who would pitch her ideas unasked
at a meeting. And I was going to finally get noticed. I just wanted one stupid
thing in this stupid city to go my way for once.

The subway screeched to a stop and I squeezed past the people
pushing their way on. I walked up the stairs back into the cold wind and looked
back down at the ground. If I got a promotion and a raise, I could start giving
money to homeless people again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man sitting
on the curb outside of my office building. He was wearing tethered clothes,
hugging his knees to his chest, shivering.
I can't.
I grabbed a few
dollars out of my purse and placed it into his hand.

"Thank you." He looked up at me.

"You're welcome." I smiled and walked into the
warmth of my office. Maybe being able to give money to homeless people and not
feeling like I was going to starve if I did, was a good motivator for the
meeting today. I stepped onto the elevator. Right before the doors closed,
Kendra walked in.

"Hey, Bee. Has your maybe turned into a yes yet?"

"Actually, I can't tonight."

"No." She grabbed my elbow. "Come on. Hanging
out with me is so much more fun than watching T.V. and you know it."

I laughed. "Yes, it is. But I actually have a date
tonight." I smiled and looked away from her.

"Shut up."

I looked back at her and shrugged.

"Are you serious?"

"Why do you seem so surprised?"

"I don't know. It just seemed like you had kind of given
up. You were one cat away from becoming a crazy cat lady."

"Psh. Crazy cat ladies have like a whole bunch of cats.
I have none. And I'm not crazy."

Kendra shrugged. "Okay, give me all the details. What's
his name? Where did you meet? Is he sexy? He must be sexy if he's getting your
mind off Patrick."

I stepped off the elevator without answering her.

"Bee! You have to tell me."

"His name is Mason."

"That's a really sexy name."

"It is kind of sexy I guess."

"So...is he sexy?"

"I don't know."

"Why aren't you telling me?"

"Because I really don't know."

"What do you mean? Were you at one of those weird new
places where they turn off all the lights and you just talk to people?"

"What are you talking about? No. I've just never met
him. It's a blind date."

"A blind date? You never told me you were ready to date
again. I have like a million guys to set you up with."

"I don't want to date your rejects, Kendra."

"Well, who's reject is this?"

"No ones. He works with Marie and Carter."

"Did he date Marie?"

"No. I don't think so anyway. I feel like she would have
mentioned that. No actually. Definitely not. He's friends with Carter. I feel
like they wouldn't be friends if Mason had dated his wife."

"Fair enough. What else did they tell you about
him?"

"That he's a successful businessman. And that he's
handsome. That's really all I know."

"A successful businessman, huh? I thought you swore off
all the suits in this city."

"I didn't really mean that." I had meant that. The
men here sucked. Or maybe it was just men in general. Maybe I should have just
sworn off all men.

"So what made you suddenly decide that you're ready to
get back out there again?" Kendra asked.

I pulled off my jacket and draped it over the back of my
chair. "Nothing in particular."

She stared at me skeptically.

"Patrick's dating someone else." I looked down at
my desk.

"I'm sorry, Bee."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. We're broken up. Of
course he's dating someone else."

"Still. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I needed to hear that he had
completely moved on. I just needed a push. I'm done thinking about that
asshole. And I should be dating someone else too."

"Absolutely." Kendra patted my shoulder. "Fuck
him."

I smiled at her. That wasn't the first time she had said
that. Probably closer to the hundredth. "And I'm taking your advice. I'm
going to pitch one of my ideas at the meeting today."

"What happened to you overnight? I like this new kick
ass Bee. I better get to my cubicle before Mr. Ellington gets mad at you before
you've even done anything wrong. I'll see you in the meeting."

I turned my computer on as Kendra walked away. Kick Ass Bee.
I'm not sure anyone had ever described me that way ever. But I liked it. Today
was going to be the day that I turned everything around.

***

"Jenkins, work on getting that into effect. I'll contact
the V.P. of Sword Body Wash. But I'm sure this will be a go," Mr.
Ellington said.

I jotted the decision down in my notebook, even though it
wasn't a good idea. Any company could sponsor a segment on a news station. And
this one wasn't even local. Layla's Predictions was only broadcast in Miami.
Yes, it had tons of viewers because Layla was hot and they made her do all
sorts of random stuff. But Miami wasn't even half the size of New York.

 "Great work this week team. This account is our focus
for the first quarter of the year. And we'll need some more ideas for the
campaign just in case the V.P. wants to go in a different direction. We can't
afford to lose this account. We'll have another meeting next Wednesday. I'll
want to hear more than one pitch."

"Mr. Ellington?" I said. My heart was beating out
of my chest.

"Did you need Jenkins to repeat the pitch, Bridget?"

"No. I um..." I let me voice trail off.
You can
do this.
"I actually have an idea on how to promote Sword Body
Wash."

"We're going with Jenkins' idea." He looked away
from me.

"Which isn't a good idea. No offense, Jenkins."

Jenkins lowered his eyebrows slightly.

"Layla's Predictions is only aired in Miami. And Sword
Body Wash specifically said they wanted to grow their brand in New York. That's
why they came to us. Because they knew we can do local guerilla style
campaigns. The Knicks cheerleaders always perform in Central Park before game
nights to help sell tickets. What if we joined up with them? Have an actor
spray himself with Sword Body Spray and get the cheerleaders to chase him
through Central Park? Everyone would see it. No one would know if it was real
or not. News stations would inadvertently pick it up. It would be huge. And
ridiculously cheap. That's the kind of thing that gets people's attention these
days."

Jenkins laughed. "What would you know about what gets a
man's attention?"

"Excuse me?" He didn't know about Patrick cheating
on me. Had someone told him? Had someone told the whole office? I could feel my
face turning red.

"Because you're not a man. Men want to look at a hot
girl on T.V. doing silly stuff. Layla's Predictions is the perfect platform for
a sponsorship by Sword."

Oh.
I was flustered by his previous comment. I took a
deep breath. "But it's not what they asked for. They want something in New
York."

"And do you have connections to the Knicks?" Mr.
Ellington said. "To get all of this set up?"

"No, but I..."

"Or maybe you know one of the cheerleaders?"
Jenkins said.

"No. But we can easily..."

"This meeting is over. Let's talk in my office,
Bridget." Mr. Ellington walked out of the conference room. He looked
pissed.

Shit.
I had thought it was a really good idea. I
looked over at Kendra.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed silently.

I suddenly felt nauseous. What if I had just lost my job?
What was I going to do?
Damn it.
I quickly walked out of the conference
room and over to Mr. Ellington's office. The door was open. I walked in and
stood in front of his desk. He didn't look up at me.

"Mr. Ellington?"

He finally looked up. "Close the door, Bridget."

God, this is going to be bad.
I closed the door and
walked back up to his desk.

"Sit down," he said. He didn't sound mad. I thought
he'd be yelling at me by now.

I sat down. "Mr. Ellington, I'm sorry, I know that was
out of line. But I think my idea..."

He held up his hand to silence me. "What do you think
Sword Body Wash cares about?"

"Their brand. About being sexy."

"There's only one thing that any company cares about.
Making money."

That wasn't true. Sword Body Wash cared about their brand.
Their brand was everything to them. It's what made them money. I stayed silent.
Anything else I said would just make it worse.

"And you have to spend money in order to make money.
They gave us a budget of five million dollars. They don't want a cheap guerilla
marketing ploy in the park. Especially when the Knicks cheerleaders aren't even
wearing those short skirts because it's freaking ten degrees outside. That's
not sexy. That's not going to make them money."

"Mr. Ellington, if you could just hear me out..."

"I did hear you out. And why the hell are you pitching
ideas in the middle of my meeting? You're my secretary. You don't know the
first thing about advertising."

"I majored in marketing with a minor in advertising. I
do know..."

"You have no experience. A minor in advertising means
nothing. I hired you to answer my phone and fetch me coffee. And whatever else
I want. You need to have thick skin to be in advertising. Just do your job and
don't worry your pretty little head about anything else."

What the hell?
I stood up. "I don't want to just
be your secretary forever."

"And you won't always just be my secretary. You're due
for a promotion very soon. But I need to know that I can trust you. I don't
need anyone working beneath me that I can't trust." His eyes wandered down
my body.

"I should probably get back to my work, Mr.
Ellington."

"Joe. Please call me Joe."

No.
I turned around and retreated out of his office.
Had I imagined that? He hit on me all the time. But had he seriously just
implied that I was being promoted to sucking his cock? I must have imagined it.
Even if I had, I still felt belittled. It didn't seem like Mr. Ellington
thought I had what it took to work in advertising. And I didn't understand why,
because my idea was good. It was so much better than Jenkins' stupid pitch.

I walked into the break room and got a cup of coffee. Ever
since Mr. Ellington had hired me, he had flirted with me. Even when I had my
engagement ring on. Had he really just hired me with the thought that I'd
eventually have sex with him? That was preposterous. And disgusting. I started
to wonder what had happened to his last secretary.

When I walked back to my desk there was a huge stack of
papers and a note.

Bridget,

All these files need to be input into the computer. Type them
up and email me before you leave today.

-Joe

Seriously?
This was like a million pieces of paper. I
sighed and turned on my computer. I guess I'd have to cancel my date tonight.