Clash (16 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Dylan

I sat at Payton’s bedside over forty eight hours. I watched her body jerk and cry out in pain. I watched her wake from the nightmares caused by what she went through.

I watched the woman I love fall apart each time she tried to talk about the hours with John, the evidence of the torturous event still covering her body.

Most of her injuries were heavy bruising and a few stitches along a gash in her hairline. But the wrist she broke a couple months ago now held another cast, this one larger. It went from her hand up past her elbow and circled up to her bicep. It had required surgery and two pins were placed in her arm. She would have to wear this cast for four weeks before possibly going down to a smaller one for an additional four weeks.

The bruising and swelling to her face made her almost unrecognizable. I heard the nurses and doctors say how lucky she was there would be no permanent damage, but I knew they were wrong. Payton’s scars would run much deeper than anything they could see. I was sure she would live with the aftereffects of this nightmare for years to come.

But she would not be alone.

“How’s she doing?” Casey asked as she and Seth stepped into the room.

“Same,” I replied as I looked back at Payton. “She wakes up either terrified or in pain, and they give her something which only makes her fade away again.

“A few of the guys at the house wanted to know if there was anything they could do for you,” Seth said as he took a seat in an empty chair on the opposite side of the bed. He pulled Casey into his lap. She looked like her belly had even gotten bigger over the last few days.

“I’m good,” I assured him, “but tell them thanks.”

“Listen man, I know it’s probably not the time or the place,” Seth began, gaining my attention. “I thought you should know Bryson kicked Todd out of the fraternity.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, it has something to do with you and Payton.” I looked from Seth to Casey, and by her expression I could tell she already knew.

“Go on,” I urged him.

“He was the one who convinced Shannon to mess with you that night you got drunk. Apparently he’s been using her to attempt to break you and Payton up. After all this happened, Shannon told Bryson.” It pissed me off; I’m not gonna lie. But the only thing I could focus on now was Payton.

After everything she had gone through, Todd and the trouble with Shannon seemed so petty and pointless.

“Appreciate you letting me know, but the douche isn’t worth my time, and neither is she. Right now nothing matters but Payton.” He nodded his head and we all looked back toward the bed where Payton lay.

Maggie called my mother a few times for updates. She insisted on coming, but I told her to wait until Payton healed a little more. I didn’t think it was a good idea for Cooper to see her in this condition.

***

Between the nurses and my sister and mother, I had been offered more food than any one man needs, but eating wasn’t something I felt much like doing.

I slept in a reclining chair at Payton’s side for almost four days, refusing to leave. I showered in her bathroom and pretty much gave up on shaving. It took too much time and I didn’t want to be away from her side that long.

It was just after lunch on the fifth day when I curled up to take my afternoon nap that I heard the sweetest voice whisper my name.

“Dylan.”

I turned in the chair to find Payton with her eyes open, reaching her hand out for me.

I had seen her wake up often over the last few days, but each time she was so frantic and terrified they had to quickly sedate her so she would not hurt herself any further. This was an unexpected turn.

I leaned forward and took her hand in mine, placing a kiss against her palm. “Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

“Better, still tired,” she replied in a soft, hushed tone.

“That could be the medicine, but you needed the rest.” I threaded my fingers with hers and placed my other hand over her leg. “It sure is good to hear your voice. I’ve missed it.”

“I’ve missed yours too. It feels like it’s been forever,” she said as her eyes grew glossy.

“I’ve been here the whole time, sweetheart,” I confessed with a smile. “No one could make me leave your side.”

She smiled, but her lip was split and she quickly relaxed her face. Reaching out toward me she ran her hand over my jaw. “When was the last time you shaved?

“Don’t remember,” I replied with a grin.

“You should go home and get some rest in an actual bed,” she told me. “I’m fine, really. You don’t have to sit here all day and night.”

“It’s not happening, Payton,” I said before she could say anything further. “I’m right where I need to be, where I want to be.”

Turning my head just enough, I kissed her palm and leaned into her touch.

“I was so scared I would never see you again,” she whispered. “I prayed for just one more chance to see you, to be able to tell you how much you mean to me.”

I closed my eyes when they began to burn when she continued. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you or the way I love your family.”

“They’re your family too,” I replied as I looked up at her. “Never seeing you again was not an option.”

I stood from the chair and leaned over her bed, placing my lips gently against hers. I tried to refrain from applying too much pressure for fear of hurting her, but I needed to kiss her. “I love you, Payton, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t get to you fast enough.”

Tears fell from my eyes as I whispered the words.

“You can’t blame yourself. It would have happened regardless, Dylan. One way or another, he would have gotten to me. This is in no way your fault,” she replied, pulling back to look up at me.

“But if I had…” She pressed her finger against my lips and I stopped talking.

“No,” she said. “There are no ‘what ifs’ or ‘buts.’”

I would give her that, but inside I still blamed myself. I should have done more, drove faster. Hell, I should have run faster, but I was too late.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Payton

A month passed since I was rescued from the hell John put me through.

The road to recovery had not been an easy one, physically or mentally. The mental ramifications of that time still played a huge toll on me daily.

Dylan was more than patient with me, and even went to a few of my sessions with Dr. Perkins. During those sessions he surprised me by expressing some of his own fears and concerns. It broke my heart he still held so much guilt over not stopping John from taking me. No matter how many times I told him it was not his fault, he still blamed himself.

Maggie and Cooper had been pushing to come see me, but with everything I went through, I thought it best to wait. I convinced her to wait and maybe allow me to visit her instead. A trip to Denver was a great escape for both Dylan and me.

What surprised me was Dylan agreed almost immediately. I guess he also felt we needed a little time away. Things between us had been unsettled, to put it mildly. It was as if he was afraid to touch me or something.

I spent two days packing, unsure of what to bring. It’s weird, I know, but I had never gone on vacation before. When I was younger I never had that luxury.

I was just throwing a few pairs of socks in the suitcase, just in case, when I looked up to find Dylan smiling at me from the doorway.

“What?” I asked.

He chuckled as he shook his head while he worked his way into the room, stepping up behind me and wrapping his arms around me from behind. My heart raced just a little bit, considering the intimacy between us had been next to nothing recently. When his lips pressed against my shoulder I shivered, and I could feel him grin as he kissed me once more.

“How many pairs of socks do you think I need, babe?”

I stared ahead at the open suitcase that held at least a dozen pair, maybe more. For a three-day trip, I knew I was going overboard. But I was nervous.

“You never know, right?” I replied.

I looked back over my shoulder and his gaze met mine. For a moment, we just stared at one another until he leaned in and placed his lips to mine. A gentle kiss, much like the ones he had been giving me since I left the hospital, sweet kisses that left me wanting more.

Had things changed between us?

Did he feel different about me?

Those were the questions I continued to ask myself and was too afraid to ask him. What if the answers I was given were answers I didn’t want to hear?

“We leave in about fifteen minutes,” he said as he pulled back too quickly. “I’m warming up the truck now.”

The insurance company totaled Dylan’s truck, and he used that settlement as a down payment on a newer, updated Toyota Tundra. The truck he totaled had belonged to his father. I knew it had sentimental value, but somehow I think his father watched over him that night, keeping him safe from what could have happened and brought him back to me. At least that was the way I saw it when I thought of the accident.

I just wished things could go back to the way they were before. I wasn’t willing to allow John to take away any more of my life than he already had.

***

Being trapped in a truck for over thirteen hours, in the beginning, seemed tolerable. I mean—I was with Dylan, so things should go by quickly, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

He was so quiet, besides the time Karen called to check on us and we had a conversation with her over the Bluetooth. Then Casey and Seth called and there was a secondary conversation; for the first time since I left the apartment I laughed.

Once the conversation ended it was back to the same old silence…until I finally had enough.

“Do you think maybe we could stop for something to eat?” I asked, and I looked out the passenger window. We were only halfway through the trip and we had planned to stop for the night anyway, so now was the perfect time.

“I booked a hotel already in Milford, since Nebraska was our halfway mark,” Dylan replied. “It’s about another fifteen minutes ahead.”

“Oh, okay,” I said as I continued to stare out the window at my side.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, and before I could stop it, I snorted in laughter.

When I looked over at him, he was staring back at me with a confused look on his face.

“I don’t know, Dylan. Why don’t you tell me?” I said in response. By the look on his face he appeared even more confused, and for a moment I thought just maybe I was overreacting, but that was short lived. “You’ve barely talked to me since we left the house. And over the last few weeks it has felt like you’re scared to touch me. I just don’t know if it’s because you’re scared that in some way you may hurt me more, or if it’s more than that. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about us.”

He kept his eyes on the road ahead of us but looked over at me a couple times before he spoke.

“With everything you went through, yeah—I wanted to give you time to heal. Not just physically but emotionally too. I didn’t want to push things, because I knew if I had, it could have damaged us too. That’s the last thing I want.” He gripped the steering wheel tighter as he took in a deep breath. “I guess I never once thought about how that distance would make you feel.”

I dug my nails into the palm of my hand as I looked down at my lap. Silence settled over us once more and we rode that way for the next few miles.

When Dylan turned the truck toward the off ramp, I looked out the window once more to see the lights of the city where we would be staying for the night.

The earlier hunger I felt had now turned into an unsettled feeling. I honestly just wanted to crawl in bed and forget the day.

As we pulled in front of the Holiday Inn and parked, I told myself I would do just that…until I looked up just in time to see Dylan leaning over the center console. He gripped the back of my neck and pulled me toward him as he pressed his lips to mine.

I was expecting the sweet kiss I had been given over and over, but the moment his tongue traced my lip I knew this time it was more.

“If anything has changed, it would only be that I have fallen deeper in love with you. My feelings for you have only grown stronger. I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise.” He rested his forehead to mine, and we remained in that position until he spoke again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I whispered as his lips pressed to mine once more.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Dylan

I had to let go of this guilt I was feeling because it was only coming between us. It was time to man up and accept that no amount of sulking or guilt would change what happened to Payton. I had to be thankful things weren’t worse. I had her back and never again would John be able to hurt her.

Our night in Nebraska turned out to be pretty amazing. After I confessed to her why I distanced myself, she understood. And then proceeded to tell me if I ever pulled back from her again, she would be forced to sic Casey on me.

Casey was bad enough any day, but add a pregnancy with all those crazy hormones and she was a wild cat.

We spent the evening in our hotel with takeout. We talked, laughed, and made love throughout the night. Things felt normal again, and I had to admit, Payton was right.

I made a promise to her and to myself never again to hide what I was feeling. We were in this together, always.

The second half of our trip to Denver was much more pleasant. We bickered over the radio station and Payton laughed. Her smile woke something up inside me. After everything this beautiful girl had gone through in her life, she was still so vibrant.

Passing the welcome sign to Denver, I could tell she was a bit nervous. “You ready to see Cooper?” I asked, and she grinned widely, nodding her head. It was amazing how close they had become by sharing daily phone calls.

I reached up and hit the call button on the phone. The Bluetooth connected and a few minutes later my mother answered her phone. I just wanted to assure her we had made it to Denver safely.

Our first stop was our hotel where we checked in and unloaded our things in our room. Afterward, Payton called Maggie and she insisted we come over for dinner.

When we pulled into Maggie’s driveway, I found myself staring at her house. It was a small, white house with green shutters and a little wooden porch off the side entrance. It seemed peaceful.

I put my truck in “park” and looked over at Payton as she stared ahead, her eyes roaming over the house and its surroundings.

“You ready to go in?” I asked.

She nodded her head, still looking forward. “Yes, I’m ready.”

We climbed from the truck, and just as we began approaching the house, the front door flew open and Cooper ran toward us.

He was followed closely by Maggie. The last time I had seen her was when she came to Toni’s Pizza to talk to Payton. Since then she appeared to have lost weight. She looked very tired and maybe a little worn out. I glanced over at Payton with my eyebrow lifted in question. I could tell in her expression she noticed it too.

But before we could think about it too much, Cooper wrapped his arms around Payton and gave her a big hug.

“Hey, buddy, how have you been?” Payton asked.

He immediately started telling her stories about the video game we had gotten him and the levels he was on. He was so animated with the sounds of explosions and gun fire; the kid was a riot.

“Why don’t we go inside?” Maggie suggested.

Once we followed Cooper and Maggie inside, my eyes began to wander over the living space. I was surprised to see pictures of Payton intertwined with those of Cooper as they covered the walls and shelves. The pictures were mostly of her younger years, yet in the mix were a few of her class photos from high school.

I looked over at Payton to find she too had noticed the pictures. Her eyes were filled with tears. Placing my arm over her shoulder, I pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head. “You okay, baby?”

All she could manage was a nod. It was something of a shock that Maggie had gone to the trouble to order photos, yet she never tried to see Payton.

Dinner was a little awkward at first, but the conversation soon began to flow with Cooper’s help. He wasn’t a bit shy when it came to talking.

After saying goodnight with the promise of a visit tomorrow, we left to drive back to our hotel.

When I got out of the shower, the hotel room was dark, with only the television lighting the room. With a towel wrapped around my waist, I walked toward the bed and found Payton sitting up wearing only a white nightie, one I had never seen her wear before.

“Wow,” I said as my eyes roamed over her body. “You look amazing.” I stepped up closer to the side of the bed and reached out my hand, trailing my fingertip across the swell of her breasts that were pushed up high from the built-in support.

Her breath hitched, and my own heart rate sped up in anticipation.

Dropping my towel, it pooled at my feet as I climbed onto the bed. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart. I really like this,” I said as I ran my hand over her waist, feeling the silk material beneath.

I pushed her thighs apart and positioned my body in the open space. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before,” I said as I ran my tongue over my lower lip. My heart was racing inside. I wanted to devour her and my control was slipping fast.

“I bought it last week,” she confessed with a shy smile.

I couldn’t help but smile myself, knowing she bought it for me. “Well, in case you haven’t figured out by now, I fucking love it.”

“I’ve picked up on that,” she replied. A confident look graced her, and I found it unbelievably sexy. I loved when she let go of her fears and gave in to our moments together. She was beautiful, an amazing woman who had overcome so much. Her confidence made her that much more attractive.

When I grabbed her hips and pulled her down so she was lying completely on her back, I covered her body with mine. “If I get to spend the rest of my life doing this very thing, I’d consider myself one of the luckiest men in the world. Because you, sweetheart, are the best gift a man could ever receive.”

“If you are trying to sweet talk me to get laid, you can stop now, Dylan. It was going to happen regardless,” she said with a smile.

Leaning in, I kissed her and she wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me tightly against her. “Yeah it was, and for the rest of our lives too.”

I began lifting her nightie up, exposing her white panties beneath. My heart beat so rapidly I felt like it could beat right out of my chest.

Within seconds we were so lost in each other that everything around us faded. The only thing that mattered was each other.