Claudia's Big Break (31 page)

‘Because that, my snoopy friend, would be really rude.'

‘Rude, schmood! It's never stopped you before.'

‘Has too.'

‘Has not.' I put my hand up to stop the conversation from getting juvenile. ‘So did you speak to him?'

‘I sort of spluttered out a big “Alex, lovely to see you” before Sophie shot me her death stare and I scurried up here to you.'

‘What were they talking about?'

‘I don't know if they were saying much at all. Levi was climbing all over Alex and they were doing that male rumbling, fighting for dominance sort of thing —'

I raised my eyebrows. ‘Playing?'

Tara wrinkled her nose. ‘I guess you could call it that.'

‘Get down there and listen in to what's going on. After all, you're Sophie's best friend.'

Tara glared at me. ‘Me? What about you?'

‘In mourning, Tara. I couldn't possibly concentrate. I'd be a waste of space. No, you just run off and tape their conversation and I'll listen to it when I'm relaxing by the pool.'

‘That's illegal —'

I got up out of bed. ‘Snap to it. You're wasting valuable eavesdropping time. You know you want to.' I opened the door and started pushing her out of the room with my foot. ‘Call it research.'

‘No!' Tara was putting up more resistance than I'd anticipated.

‘Tara! Go and sit on the stairs.' I raised my arm and pointed to the stairs. She didn't move. ‘Go on. You've got everything. A great life, a wonderful girlfriend and you have the ears for the job.' Nothing. ‘Come on, do it for Sophie.'

‘Do what for Sophie?' Sophie yelled out as she climbed the last stair at the top of the hallway.

‘Sophie,' I squealed. ‘Tara was just telling me the great news.'

‘Was she just?'

‘What a nice surprise, Alex turning up.'

‘Yes. Isn't it?' Sophie said through gritted teeth.

‘Where is he now?' I asked.

‘Taken Levi to the pool.'

Drat! There went my peaceful day slothing by the pool. ‘Alex has made a huge effort, hasn't he?' I said as the three of us sat down on my bed.

‘What?' Sophie barked. ‘Flying over for the last day? That's so typical of Alex. Impulsive. Doesn't think things through. Anyway, I don't want you two hiding up here all day. It's safe to come downstairs.'

I stayed in bed while Sophie showered. She was in there for hours. Goodness knows what she was doing to herself. When she emerged, finally, Tara scuttled into the bathroom and another three hours disappeared.

Once dressed, Sophie came up to say she was off to the pool to see Alex. ‘Be brave and strong,' I said, hugging her and sending her on her way.

I wandered down the stairs and peered into the fridge. Slowly, I retrieved the yogurt and honey and poured a bit of both into my bowl. As was my holiday ritual, I wandered out onto the patio and ate my breakfast as I watched a new fleet of cruise ships make their way into the port. Cruise boats sailed in. Cruise boats sailed out. Rhythmic. Calming. Constant.

‘Did you save me any, greedy?' Tara asked when she walked out, one towel wrapped round her torso and another wrapped around her head in a turban.

‘Um, a little,' I replied, suddenly feeling very greedy indeed. I started to stand.

‘Don't bother. I'll get some later.' Tara sat down and gestured towards the pool. ‘Any sign of them?'

‘Nope.'

‘Any noise? Screaming?'

‘No. Very quiet. So when are you seeing Angie?'

‘Soon. We're going off to one of the more remote beaches today.'

‘Ooh,' I said, licking my spoon. ‘To do a spot of nude bathing?'

‘Do you mind? Harry will be with us.'

‘Still, I'm sure there'll be a bit of time for groping and fondling, won't there.' I winked.

‘Seriously, you need to talk to someone.'

‘What? You know you want to.'

‘Claudia, take a cold shower, girl.'

‘Well, I guess I'll have to after the amount of time you and Sophie spent in there this morning.'

Yawning, I stepped inside the shower cubicle. Nothing like a long hot shower to recharge the energy. I turned on the taps, but as I'd suspected, the water was lukewarm.

I was out within two minutes and ready to unleash my fury on Tara. But she'd already taken off. Must have heard my shrieking and fled. I put on swimmers and covered up with a hand-painted sarong I'd bought at a Fira market stall — before budget constrictions came in.

What to do now? I could wander the streets of Fira and pick up a few last-minute pressies, but I'd already bought too many. My baggage limit was blown as it was. Besides, I was determined to stick to the plan and get rid of this bloody debt — legally.

Another option was to head down to the pool as I'd originally intended but that would mean talking to Sophie and Alex and possibly interrupting their heart to heart. I grabbed a handful of dark chocolate from the fridge, made a cup of tea and snatched several magazines from the dining table. Magical option number three. Eat chocolate, drink tea and read magazines on the patio.

‘Excellent,' I said to myself as I settled down for some serious reading. What a good idea! I was more than enough company for myself. Celibacy would be a cinch.

AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS! AMAZING WEIGHT GAIN!
WE TEL YOU WHAT THE STARS DON'T WANT YOU TO
KNOW.
I devoured page after page; photos and quotes from ‘friends' spilling the beans on diet secrets of the stars. Britney slurps on watercress soup; Lindsay only drinks bancha-twig tea (when she's not guzzling Red Bull and vodka). These people were all insane. How did kids today have a hope in hell of eating normally?

Excuse me. Did I just say
kids
? Yes. I think I did.

I'd crossed the line. I was officially middle-aged. Fancy me of all people talking about balanced lifestyles. What had I become? I was a tut-tutter. I was turning into one of those people who rang the police at ten in the evening to complain about the neighbour's music being too loud. I used to be the one with the loud music, the loud parties, the loud life!

I used to be the tut-tuttee!

I'd morphed into my mother, except I was twenty-five years younger and didn't sport a purple perm. Next I'd be watching the weather channel and listening to elevator music.

While Sophie was slugging it out with her man and Tara was getting it on with her woman, I was fretting over the way kids today were doomed because of celebrities and their bizarre obsession with looking like lollipops. What had celibacy done to me? Would I ever be able to read another trashy magazine? Was I too old for tabloid press? I silently begged the gods,
Please
don't take this away from me. It's all I have
.

I was contemplating the hideousness of my shallow life when I turned the page and found what I'd really been searching for.
STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP
. It didn't get much better than this. Madonna, Posh, Elle . . .
Girls, perhaps if you ate a morsel
of food every now and then, you wouldn't look so pained and
haggard when snapped by a pesky photographer at six o'clock in the
morning,
I thought while scoffing a Greek Cherry Ripe. Still, it gave me a perverse pleasure to read that beautiful, famous and wealthy women had the same mundane issues to deal with as we ordinary folk.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm sunshine on my skin. Again, I'd forgotten to slather myself with sunscreen. Not that it mattered. The sunspots and skin cancers had had a good two weeks to form and thirty-odd years before that. No amount of cream was going to help now. They partied happily, confident I'd given up the fight, and they were right — there was no way I was getting up again to lather my limbs with lotion. It felt so good lying in the sun, soaking up the rays. That is, it did after I'd pushed silly notions about sunspots and skin cancers to the back of my mind.

‘Ahem. Excuse me.'

I could vaguely hear someone coughing politely beside me but I refused to open my eyes. I was sailing with Matthew McConaughey and he was about to pull the string on my bikini top and kiss me.

‘Claudia?'

Too late, Matthew was gone. Maybe if I rolled over, he'd float back.

‘Claud, am I interrupting you?'

I opened my eyes, squinting. The sun was absolutely blinding. I couldn't see anything. Blinking, I strained to see who was talking to me. ‘Oh, it's you.' I quickly reached for my sarong.

‘I didn't mean to startle you. I just came around to say sorry and to see that you're okay.'

‘Of course I'm okay. I'm not about to throw myself off a cliff if that's what you're thinking.'

‘I hadn't actually thought of that.' Jack seemed surprised, which in turn surprised me. I assumed it was well known that one always felt like throwing oneself off a rocky cliff when one was arrested — no, detained — made a thorough fool of and dumped by a private detective masquerading as a handsome and sexy tourist. Although technically, I kept reminding myself, we hadn't actually been going out, so I hadn't been dumped — just used and abused.

‘I'm really sorry. I meant what I said yesterday.'

‘Which was?' With everything that had been going on, I could barely remember this morning, let alone yesterday.

Jack looked down at the ants trudging along the concrete. ‘That I really liked you from the moment I met you. I thought you were fun.'

‘From memory, I think you used the word “cool”.' I stood up and fixed the sarong firmly around my body. ‘Thank you for your kind words, Jack. You're free to leave.'

I started pacing the patio so I wouldn't have to look at him. ‘What else do you want me to say? Thank you for apologising? I've said it. Goodbye.'

Jack grabbed me by the arm as I turned to walk inside.

‘Let me go!' I yelled, trying to yank my arm away.

‘No. Not before you look me in the eye and tell me you accept my apology.'

‘I already have,' I said, giving him the briefest of looks. ‘Now let me go.'

‘At least let me take you out to dinner tonight.'

I hesitated but remained strong. ‘Thanks, but I don't want to go out with you tonight. It's my last night here and I really want to be with my friends.'

‘Lucky friends,' Jack said, releasing me from his grip.

‘I'm lucky I've still got them after what I've put them through.'

‘So are we friends?'

‘I don't think we'll be getting together for tea parties back home.'

‘I guess not.' Jack looked disappointed about that.

Serves you right, boyo, given you deceived me, cuffed me, interrogated me and treated me like trash. ‘I have to say, I thought you were a real arse that morning you arrested me.'

‘I didn't actually arrest you,' Jack protested.

‘Your cronies cuffed me! And you treated me appallingly. Not to mention you slept with me under false pretences.'

‘I said I was sorry.'

‘Sorry! You lied to me. You arrested me because you suspected me of being a criminal and, to top it off, you were inexcusably rude during the interview process — sorry's just not going to cut it.'

I was strong. I walked inside and didn't look back. So he was sorry. Big deal. His behaviour had confirmed all of my worst fears about ever getting serious with another man. What was I thinking, letting myself be taken in by him?

I was sad and depressed. I was also well (very well) into my thirties, single and was facing a precarious work situation. I was pretty much where I had been at the start of the holiday but at least back then I was only thirty-eight and had this holiday to look forward to.

‘That went well.' It was Tara.

‘I thought you'd already left.'

‘I did but when I got to the bus stop I realised I'd forgotten my wallet so I came back, right around the time Jack was begging for forgiveness.'

‘You heard?'

‘A little. And I'm not saying you don't have every right to be pissed off —'

‘Super pissed off!'

‘Okay, super pissed off. Look, what Jack did was reprehensible.'

‘You think?'

‘But, Claudia, I can see how much he really likes you. I don't approve of his actions but everyone makes mistakes.'

‘You of all people —'

‘Exactly. Me of all people can be objective. Yes, he had a severe lapse in judgement, but don't condemn him for the rest of his life. He seems decent enough.'

‘Decent enough's not good enough, Tara. I've been through this shit before. I'll need a guarantee next time.'

‘That's not realistic —'

‘I don't care. It's how I feel. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Jack. My career's in the toilet, I have nowhere to live, I'm up to my neck in —'

‘Whoa! Back up a minute. You live with me.'