Had he already known I was second-guessing myself?
“Just stick it in, sweetheart,” someone said.
I wanted to.
I itched to.
But I was scared.
Me...scared.
Not something most would believe.
Though, they didn't know my past. They didn't know that every time I saw the colour red, I had to fight a panic attack.
And that was something I wasn't willing to do in front of Talon and his hot biker brothers.
I didn't know how long I stood there, staring at the knife and then at David. It wasn't until I felt warm arms circle my waist and heard in my ear a soft whisper of, “Darlin',” that it had been long enough for Griz to move around the circle to me.
To give me strength? I wasn't sure.
He took the knife from my hand, passed it back to Talon and then took my hand and dragged me from the group of leather-covered giants to my car.
That was when I heard Talon say Pick’s name, followed by blood-curdling screams coming from David.
“Princess, look at me,” Griz ordered, and when I didn't comply, he took my chin in his hand and forced my head up. “Get outta here and go home.”
I shook my head, disappointed in myself. “I-I should have done it.”
“No, you shouldn't have,” he barked.
My eyes snapped to him and I sent a glare his way. “Yes, I should have. I'm a strong bitch, and I should have been able to gut the fucker, but...” I tried to pull away—to think—only Griz wouldn't have it.
He met my glare with an amused look on his heart-stopping, sexy face, which had been tanned by the sun and wind from riding that yummy Harley of his. “It just means, darlin', that you have a heart.”
I gasped. “I do fuckin' not, you— you arse!” I took a step back from him and watched his large, calloused hand fall from my face.
Regret filled me. I liked his hand on me. I sure as hell wanted more of Griz on me.
“I'm going. I have to go.” I opened my car door and said over my shoulder, “You're a dick. You know that, right?”
“Sure, princess.” He smiled a smile that made me want to drop to my knees and beg him to shove his dick in my mouth.
I shook my head and added, “No one fuckin' says a word, or...I don't fuckin' know. Maybe I'll send Julian upon you all for a year.”
“Shit, no. No biker would ever want that to happen.”
A surprised laugh escaped me as I watched him shudder. “Damn right,” I said.
Gunshots echoed in the background, making me jump. I looked over toward the area where David was about to take his last breath, and I felt nothing but annoyance at myself for not doing what I so wanted to do.
“Get home, Hell Mouth,” Griz uttered, which brought my attention back to his concerned eyes.
I grinned wide to show I wasn't bothered by what was happening just beyond the wooden shed.
“Don't tell me what to do, ya prick.”
He burst out laughing, shook his head and walked off.
––––––––
Present Time
––––––––
B
ang.
I jumped from my bed to the other side of the room while holding a hand to my heart.
What the fuckin' hell? My door was kicked off its hinges, and the culprit stepped into my room.
“Griz, what the fuck?!” I yelled.
“Well, maybe next time you'll open your damned door,” he growled.
What is he doing here anyway?
Talon, with a scary-ass-biker scowl across his face, walked around him, as did Julian and Zara.
“You made me do this. I had no other choice,” Zara sighed dramatically.
“That's fuckin' it! I'm taking back the Harleys I bought for your little aliens,” I said.
“Hang on a minute,” Julian started, hands on his hip. “You bought her and Mr McSlap-my-arse’s spawn Harleys and they aren't even born yet, and all I get are some DVDs? Let's talk about that.” He stomped his foot.
“No,” Talon barked, “let's talk about why in the fuck you're spendin' all your money.”
Zara gasped and caught everyone’s attention. She then proceeded to slap her forehead and say, “I'm such a flipping idiot.”
“I won't fuckin' argue,” I offered. Talon sent dagger-eyes my way.
She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. “I get it now. I'm such a bad friend. Shoot, Deanna, I'm so sorry. Of course this is why.”
“Zara,” I warned.
No. No. No.
I never thought she'd remember. She was as drunk as a skunk when I had told her. How in the hell could she remember?
“Kitten, you want to tell the rest of us?” Talon asked.
“Don't!” I hissed just as Griz's phone chimed.
“Fuck me, what now?” Julian sighed.
Griz
––––––––
I
looked at the screen and my stomach turned. I wanted to put my fist through a wall. It was her again. This was becoming more frequent, but who was I to deny it?
“Gotta go?” Talon asked. He must have read my face.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Fuck!” I growled and looked up from my phone to meet Deanna's curious gaze. My brows furrowed and I turned to Talon. “You'll catch me up later?”
“Course, brother,” he said with a chin lift.
“There will be nothing to catch up on,” Deanna growled.
I scoffed. “Sure, princess.” I walked to the doorway— where the door was now hanging from its hinges—and said over my shoulder, “See ya later.”
And I meant it in every way, because I knew whatever was goin' down with Hell Mouth would be yet another situation where shit would happen.
She would need someone at her side.
Whether she liked it or not, that someone was me.
Shit.
And that was going to be more trouble I didn't need.
Guarding Hell Mouth's person was goin' to be a test all on its own.
––––––––
––––––––
I
knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. That had never happened before, so one could say I was already on high alert. Kathy always had the door opened within seconds when I pulled up. She'd listen for my bike and be ready and waiting, eager to get the fuck outta here.
So where in the hell was she when it was only ten minutes ago that she'd rung?
I pounded on the door this time and yelled, “Kathy?”
Nothing.
Not one fuckin' sound.
That was when I heard it.
A faint cry.
I kicked my boot through the second door of the day and ran into the house.
The crying got louder as I got closer to the back of the messy house and into the bedroom.
“Fuck,” I growled.
Stepping over Kathy's prone body on the floor, I picked up Swan, my two-year-old daughter, from her crib.
“It's okay, baby. Shh, everything gonna be fine,” I cooed and murmured softly to her as I walked her out of the room, down the hall and into the dirty kitchen.
Fuck!
Was she dead?
She had to have been.
Jesus. Was the mother of my child laying on that floor dead?
In front of our baby?
Stupid fuckin' bitch. What in Christ’s name had she done now?
Why the fuck did the house look like a bomb had hit it, and smelled like it as well?
I glanced around the kitchen, from the dirty floor to the bench tops, and some crap sticking outta the oven. The fridge door was open and empty.
Flipping open my phone, I looked down at Swan. She'd calmed down enough to stare back up at me.
“It's gonna be okay, baby,” I whispered.
Her little hands reached up and wrapped around the back of my neck. She buried her tiny head into my shoulder and sighed.
She knew.
She knew her daddy was here and was gonna make it all good for her.
Putting my phone to my ear, I rang Blue, because Talon had enough on his plate right then.
“Brother?” he answered.
“I found Kathy lying flat on her face in our kid’s room.”
“Be there with Stoke and Killer. We keepin' it low?”
“Nah, I gotta call the cops, man. People saw me walkin' in. But try and get here first.”
“On it. I'm five or ten minutes out.”
“See you soon.”
I’d give him five minutes before I called the cops, and in that time, I left Swan in the lounge playing happily while I went to check what I already knew.
Kathy was dead. She must have passed after her call to me. I found her phone under Swan's stuffed animal-filled crib.
Quickly grabbing Swan some clean clothes and a new nappy, because her other one was soaked through, I went back out to take care of my girl and called the police.
How long had Kathy been on the floor like that?
Shit, fuck! I could only hope that Swan never remembered what she saw when she was older. What type of blow-back could she have for seeing her mother lying dead on the floor? She was already not talkin', unlike most kids at that age who would have already tried to bleed your ears out with their constant babbling.
But my Swan stayed quiet.
I had asked Kathy to take her to the doctor’s. She was forever telling me it was all okay, and that for some kids it took longer.
I'd bought that story for so long.
Now? Not so much. Something else was going down, and I was gonna get to the end of it.
After Swan was clean, I wrapped her in my arms and held her tightly. She liked that, always had, ever since she was born.
Christ.
My heart was bleeding for her.
I should never have left her with that bitch, but all women seemed good at the start, until they'd try and control you. I wasn't having that, so I left, and then she'd told me she was pregnant. I was actually happy. Even though we weren't together, I thought it could still work. I thought even though Kathy was not meant for me, maybe she was meant to have a baby, to be a good mother in her own controlling ways.
I was wrong.
She never wanted Swan.
She still liked to party, and the few times I caught her trying to have a party in the same place my daughter was—let’s just say things got ugly, and Talon ended up having to drag me away before I killed the bitch.
At least she wasn't dumb enough to cross Talon. Once he made an order, she followed through. The people were kicked out, and Swan was brought to my house for the night.
What I didn't understand was why she kept coming back for her. I'd told Kathy a million times over I'd keep Swan full-time. Only she wouldn't have it. Told me a man should never raise a girl on his own and that she needed her baby girl. She’d be lost without her.
Then, over the last ten months, things had gotten strange. Kathy would call and tell me to get my arse over to the house or she'd leave Swan on her own.
‘Course I'd bolt over, and as soon as she'd heard the pipes of my Harley, the front door was opened and Kathy was disappearing into a cab. I'd take Swan to my house and tear Kathy a new asshole when she'd come to pick her up the next day, looking like shit.
But it was the same story every time—just that she needed a night out, needed to feel free, and we'd argue about letting me take Swan permanently. But of course, like the sucker I was, I gave in every time, because I'd never want my baby girl to grow up without a mother.
All that was about to change though.
And honestly, I couldn't be happier.