Cocky F@#ker (Tangled Desires #3) (14 page)

“Sure you were.” His gaze narrows on me. “That’s why you were fucking the mattress.” His jaw clenched, his gaze drifts to a spot on the bed beside me. “Can’t say it wouldn’t have been a beautiful sight, either, if it were anywhere other than my little brother’s bed.”

I climb out of it so fast, it’s like my butt’s on fire.
Ew!
So wrong. So wrong. So very, very wrong.
Ripping the sheets off, I bundle them up and toss them in the corner. How am I ever going to look my best friend in the eye now? “It won’t happen again.”

“No, no it won’t.” He brings his gaze back to mine. “From now on you’ll be in my bed.”

“I don’t think so.” I push around him, but he captures my wrist and pulls me to him.

“You need to tell me whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours.”

Of course I do, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to tell him the truth when keeping secrets is easier.

He slides the fingers locked around my wrist up my arm. “You can’t keep avoiding me. I’m right here, not going anywhere.”

He’s right about how hard it is to avoid him. Those first five weeks were hell, and this week’s been pure torture. The way he looks at me makes my heart race and fills me with warmth. I know what it means when he affects me like this, when every murmur of his voice, every subtle glance makes me want him.

But when I tell him—and I have to, I know that—he’ll be gone for good, and my heart will break all over again. He doesn’t want this, and I’m not ready. I’m not prepared. Not yet.

“You say that, but we both know better,” I whisper. “We’ve got a track record, remember?”

“If I recall…” he has me in his arms before I can blink, his erection still hard, pressed to my thigh, “… we both were pretty good at leaving the other to pick up the pieces.”

“Maybe.” I wince. “But you never did let me explain where I went that night.”

“So tell me.” He twirls a lock of my hair around his fingers.

But what good does rehashing the past do us now? It’s the future I have to worry about. “I went to Rush to tell him about us. Face to face.”

“Us. You went to my brother to tell him what about
us
exactly?” His voice drops so low it sends a shiver through me.

“That I was in love with you. Had been before he left. So long.”

“And you thought he needed to know, but you couldn’t tell me?”

“It was the right thing to do,” I whisper. “I didn’t want to be between you. But when I came back it was clear where you stood on the matter.”

“You
always
were between us.” He grasps my jaw, his breath in my face, his mouth dropping so close to mine. “You were mine from the moment I laid eyes on you. You got that? You and my brother were a speed bump, but he’s never been more than that.” He nibbles at my bottom lip, and my feet arch, wanting to get closer, to get more of his mouth, his kiss,
him
. “You’ve never looked at him the way you look at me. Don’t think I wasn’t paying attention to every one of my moments you gave to him.”

Then he’s possessing my mouth, claiming me, like this is all there is for us.

I wish it were true. I want him so much it hurts. A never-ending ache inside my soul. But I’m not alone now. My decisions aren’t for me, and he’s made it abundantly clear where he stands.

I should tell him. Keeping it secret is gnawing at me, but I’m terrified of how he will take it. He was so serious, so damn certain he couldn’t deal with an accident like this, and I’m struggling myself. I need to stop what’s happening between us before I get any deeper. I have to let go. And then I have to tell him, once I can handle it. But not like this, not with him kissing me the way he is.

“We’re done, Mace. Do you hear me? Done.” I tear away from him and race out of the room.

I don’t get far. Not far enough. Seconds later, he’s spinning me around, gathering me up and pushing me against the wall. My leg hitches to his hip reflexively as he presses into me. His hand capturing both of mine, he pins them to the wall above my head and dives for my mouth, thrusting inside me while his other hand slips under my singlet to cup my breast, his thumb grazing across my nipple, leaving a trail of sparks.

I’m breathless when he finally relents. “What the hell are you doing?”

He lets go of me, and I sink down off my tiptoes, as he shrugs. “You were bolting. There was no way I was letting you go without kissing you thoroughly. You need something to bring you back to me.”

Then he stalks down the hallway, his last words thrown over his shoulder. “My bed is yours whenever you’re in this house. I’ll take the floor, the couch, until you ask me to join you.”

Mace

We’re at the restaurant Claire and Raze have decided to use for their upcoming engagement party. It’s a nice place with a long glass wall that overlooks the lake. Pretty fancy. Mom and dad flew in today for last minute preparations for the following week. Of course they’re grilling me on my plans now that I’m landlocked.

They’re asking questions I don’t know the answers to, other than I’ve taken up working with Tommy and I’m running some security gigs for a couple of the local watering holes. At least that much has fallen into place. The rest I’m not so sure about.

Chelsea swirls the wine around her glass as they leave the table to talk with Claire and Razer. It’s untouched. I’ve noticed the small details, the patterns that have emerged over the last month or so, but then she’s all I can think about. Well, almost all.

As if looking for some pee-stick Cindy wasn’t enough for my youngest brother, he’s gone and found himself some trouble in the form of a girl named Gem. I’m not sure I like her, or at least the trouble she represents. But she’s got back bone, which is something I can appreciate, even if she’s got some dangerous men after her, and my gut says she’s keeping secrets that are far more dangerous to my family than she’s willing to let on.

But Tom’s gone and fallen for her at the snap of her fingers. Maybe that’s my issue with her. The fastness of it, when I’m still struggling to get Chelsea to let me in. Hell, I’m still on edge from this morning. From watching her hump the bed. From kissing her, before she told me we were done.

But she looked so sad. Still does. I can’t believe that’s what she wants. She’s sitting beside me, trying to ignore me, but I can feel the heat of her leg so close to my thigh that I can’t help but slide my hand onto her knee.

She jumps, glancing up from the glass. “Get your hand off my knee.”

“All right.” I grin, sliding it up to the edge of her skirt, because any reaction is better than her silence.

“T-that wasn’t what I meant.” Her hand finds mine, grasps my fingers, but she doesn’t immediately remove it like I thought she would. Instead, she grips it for a moment, looks at the damn glass again and sighs. “What would it take to have you packing up your bags and moving onto the next town, the next job, the next girl?”

I don’t think there’s anything that could. No matter how far I’ve been from home, this girl has been the only one to get so thoroughly inside me I carry her wherever I go. “Do you want me gone that badly?”

“I don’t know.” She lets go of my hand. “I want you to stop trying to get in my pants.”

“I don’t try, darlin’,” I grumble, frustrated that she’s still refusing to admit to anything. “Do I need to remind you, you were moaning my name while you humped the fucking mattress this morning?”

“God, it was a dream.” Her cheeks heat, and she glares at me. “It had absolutely nothing to do with you.”

“So you have sex dreams about random men all the time? And you cry out my name in your sleep?” I stroke my thumb along the outside of her thigh. I’m rock fucking hard, remembering the way she whimpered my name while her hips pressed to the mattress over and over. “I bet you don’t. I bet they’re always me, because that’s what you want. We both know it.”

“How many times do I have to tell you it isn’t?” She grits her teeth, but her pupils dilate as I move my hand higher on her leg.

Slipping a digit between her thighs, I run the tip over her silky panties. “Tell me to stop.”

“Oh God, Mace.” She moans, almost inaudible as she blinks sluggishly. She’s wet and I want to slip inside her panties, touch her pussy until she cums around my fingers. “You can’t do this to me here. Your family. Your parents.”

She’s right. I forgot for a moment where we are, I was so focused on her. “I’m going to let you go, okay?”

She nods, a sharp jerk of her head, and I slide my hand from her leg, reaching for my beer to keep my hand busy. “I won’t touch you again until we’re alone.”

“You won’t touch me again. Period.” She quickly rearranges her skirt. “I told you we’re done.”

Maybe we should be. The way things are adding up in my head when it comes to why she’s giving me attitude grinds at me. I’m sick of the secrets we’ve been keeping all these years. But this new one could be worse, and I don’t quite know how I’ll deal with the truth. I’ve been seeing a shrink these past weeks, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for what I think she’s hiding from me. Still, if it’s with her…

“And why is that? Because you haven’t quite made it clear, Hells. Still keeping all your fucking secrets.”

She gawps at me, then her eyes flash with pure heat. “I don’t think you want to know. I don’t think you could handle it.”

“You’d be surprised how much of you I can handle.” The only reason I haven’t broached her about my suspicions is because that’s all they are. There’s nothing to confirm that I’m right, and I don’t want her thinking the reason I’m not letting her push me away is all about what she’s keeping from me. I know her well enough to know doubt will eat her up, that she’ll push harder to keep me away. Trust has never come easy, not when it comes to the men in her life, which is why I wait. A rock solid lump constricting my lungs, a heart attack waiting to happen. It’s making me surly, the frustration obvious to everyone around us. I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I ask point blank.

“You’re such a… a… tool.” She jumps up and the whole table rocks.

It’s then that I realize every head is turned our way, and as much as I want to finish this conversation and get to the bottom of what’s eating her, I have to fucking play along. So I raise my best smirk. “Can’t help it, Hells. I’m nothing if not a tool.”

***

Shoulders slumped, I tread down the hallway. It’s been a long fucking night. After we left the restaurant we were accosted by paparazzi. It’s a leftover effect from Claire’s past life, but with her ex-fiancé in the papers for banging some porn star, they’re coming out of the woodwork.

Tonight was worse because Gem’s trying to hide, and she freaked the fuck out. She still looked haunted before I called Tommy into the kitchen to warn him about how much she’s really hiding. I snooped through her bag, did a little recon. I’m not proud of myself, but there’s more to her trouble than she’s letting on, and she’s dragging my family into it, so when I saw the flash drive I didn’t hesitate to take it.

I curl my fingers around the device in my pocket. I’m only going to look and then I’ll put it back. She’ll be better protected, and Tommy doesn’t need to be involved. The guilt, responsibility, secrets will be on me.

As soon as I shut the bedroom door, I go to the nightstand to get my laptop and boot it up. Standing in the dark I plug in the flash drive and bring up the information on it. I blow out a breath. “Fuck.”

“What is it?” Chelsea is in my bed, sitting there, half under the covers.

Chelsea is in my fucking bed.

I slam the laptop closed, and put it down before flicking on the lamp. She’s wearing some loose fitting T-shirt that falls off her shoulder, her hair tied back in a ponytail that I want to curl around my hand while I bring my mouth to hers. “I thought you went home.”

“The whole paparazzi thing, Gem freaking out.” She shifts over a little. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

“You might not want to for a while,” I say, sitting beside her. Seeing her freaked out is strange. She’s so tough, always has been, but right now she seems the most fragile I’ve ever seen her. “These guys after her. They’re not good people. Better stick close to me.”

Her eyes get big, her mouth open. I want to run my thumb along her bottom lip, feel her breath. “You’re just saying that to keep me here.”

“Maybe. I’m not sure how much good I’ll be against the kind of guys after Gem. After all, I came home because I was useless at my job after what happened. That hasn’t changed, but I’m sure as hell not going to let anything happen to my family. And you, as much as you like it or not, are part of that family.” I drift my gaze down her torso, watch the hand on her lap flutter to her belly. “But we’re not going to tell Tommy. Or Raze and Claire. Not until they need to know. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. You don’t want to worry them anymore than they are.”

“Right.” I touch the pad of my thumb to her lower lip, a wave of pleasure washing over me when she darts the tip of her tongue to it. My dick throbs from the contact. A lancing heat that drills through me, into my balls. I know she doesn’t mean to, that she’s still trying so hard to fight me.

I drag in a deep breath, struggling to keep my composure when every fiber of my being has me aching to take her mouth, to push her back on the mattress and tear her clothes from her so that I can plunge my cock inside her. With a groan, I cup the back of her head and draw her mouth to mine, nibbling along her lips. “You in my bed, it does things to me, darlin’, that I’m not sure I’ll ever get over.” I take her hand, place it over the bulge in my pants. “You get me so fucking hard all I can think about is ripping your clothes off and having you cum while I’m deep inside you.”

Her intake of breath is sharp, her palm curls around my hardness. I guess six weeks of keeping our hands to ourselves is even too much for her. Especially when we have years to catch up on.

So I don’t wait for her to say anything, or to change her mind. I collapse back on the bed, pulling her on top of me. Her hair falls like a silken wave around us as I kiss her, my hands skimming under the T-shirt, one of mine, I realize, and up her back to grasp the nape of her neck while I thrust my tongue into her mouth and get lost in the way she fills my senses.

When I break the kiss, it’s only so I can drag the T-shirt over her head and get my mouth on her tits. I take my time, kneading them with my hands while I suck and nibble each perfect fucking breast and listen to her breathing jack up, her breast pushing more firmly into my mouth with each lungful of air. “You belong here,” I tell her. “In my bed, in my arms, on my cock.”

“I want to.” She undoes the buttons on my shirt, slides her hands under the fabric to drag it off. Her fingers trace my tattoo, her lips leave a trail of fire along my skin that burns almost as deep as it does inside my chest. In the dark, in the moments we steal, where she’s mine and mine alone, I finally belong. Not as the asshole, not as the arrogant brother in a family full of insanity, but in the peace she alone draws out in me.

I flip her over, tear away the tiny shorts she’s wearing. “No panties.”

She shakes her head as I grasp her hands in one of mine and hold them above her head while I make quick work of my pants, struggling out of them because I will not for one second let go of her tonight. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you? Now I’m going to be imagining you without panties every damn time I look at you. Fuck, that’s going to be awkward.”

I press my lips to her belly, my digits to her cunt. She lets out a low moan as I touch her clit, her wetness coating my fingers.

“Fuck, Mace. Don’t tease.” She wraps her hand around my dick, practically pulls me by the damn thing. “I want you inside me. Need to feel you.”

I reach for the bedside table, open the draw to fish out one of the condoms I bought and rip it open with my teeth, my hand shaking with how hard it is not to hammer into her and forget the fucking protection like we’ve done almost every other time.

It’s all there on her face. The fucking truth, plain as day. I’ve never seen her eyes so big as she stares at the condom in my hand, or the jumble of emotions that flash across her face while I roll it down my length. But she doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. We’re going to talk about this at some point. It’s only a matter of time, but it won’t be tonight. I’m not ready to call her out on it. I’m not ready to change what is happening between us right at this moment.

Maybe it’s because this is how we’ve always rolled that makes me want to give her the chance to come clean first. To prove this time we can make it through whatever complications and doubts arise, if we can just be honest with each other. Or maybe, I don’t know how to deal just yet, with what her secrets mean for me or how I’m going to find a way to handle yet another detail of my life I’m unsure about.

Or perhaps I’m just so selfish I don’t want to ruin the moment.

So I don’t. Instead, I spread her legs and settle over her. My teeth gritted, I don’t tell her that I forgot how to breathe without her, that I’m scared I will again if she’s not with me. I don’t tell her I know her deepest secrets, or that I love her in a way that goes beyond how her body fits to mine. But I cup her face with my hands and I bring my mouth back to hers, while I rock into her, hoping she knows it all anyway.

Chelsea

Holy fucking hell. I bolt through my front door, leaving the keys in the lock and taking the stairs two at a time. My heart is racing as I careen into the bathroom and rip open the top drawer of the cabinet.

For weeks now I’ve been trying to find the right moment, the right way to tell Mace about the baby while hiding it from everyone else. I’ve been keeping my secret for the sake of everyone around me, only it hasn’t panned out that way, because Tom’s been hurting over trying to find a baby that isn’t his, and Mace refuses to let me go anyway.

He’s doing exactly what he said he would. Fighting to break through all the heartbreak we’ve already caused each other. And I gave in to it, because I want him so badly, that the past few days I’ve pretended like I don’t have this giant fucking secret hanging over my head. He’s stolen kisses in the bathroom, murmured the sweetest words in the kitchen, his family none the wiser yet.