She leaned against his shoulder and sighed. “I thought we’d have more time together this weekend.”
He held her face in his hands. “I love you, Lucy. So much.”
He seemed unusually emotional. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips, then touched her forehead to his. “Following Ann and Micah was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make. You were only feet from my hiding place, I wanted to go to you—”
“We’re partners, Lucy, in every way. You have to save the innocent first. I can take care of myself, and if they didn’t shoot me on the cliff, they weren’t going to shoot me in their camp.”
“That’s what I was thinking, but that didn’t make the decision any easier.” She didn’t know if she could handle these life-threatening decisions. How could she choose? In the line of duty, would she have to make such a choice again? Between her partner and a victim? Between two innocent people? She didn’t want to think about it, but it would haunt her.
Sean took her hand and together they went downstairs.
Micah and Tommy were playing on Sean’s air-hockey table in the large family room that opened up into the kitchen and dining room. When Micah saw Lucy, he missed blocking his goal and little Tommy scored.
“Point!” Tommy said.
His eyes followed Micah’s and he burst out in a grin. “Lucy!” He ran over to her and gave her a tight squeeze. “Sean has an air-hockey table! He said we could play! Do you want to play with us?”
“Of course,” she said. She glanced at Agent Johnson and Noah who were sitting at the table. Both looked at her with serious expressions. “If we have time.” She walked over to Micah and gave him a hug. “How are you guys doing?”
He nodded. “Alex said we have grandparents. My mom never talked about them. I thought they were dead.”
He was putting on a brave front, but his voice cracked at the end and she saw how scared he was of what was happening. Though the situation he endured over the last three days was far more dangerous, it was this limbo that terrified him. Tommy, on the other hand, was bouncing around and didn’t seem to be affected by any of it. At least not yet.
“Families are complicated,” she said.
“They live in Florida.”
Lucy smiled. “Florida is very nice. Sunny and tropical.”
“Alex is taking us. I’ve never been on a plane before.” He frowned and glared over Lucy’s shoulder, then whispered, “I wanted you to take us, but he said no.”
“I have to go back to my training. But you’ll have my address and you can write me and send me pictures of your new house.”
“I have to come back in a couple weeks to talk to a judge about everything.”
She nodded. “That’s good. I’ll find out when and we can have lunch or something.”
“What if Alex says no again?”
“If you want it to happen, I’ll make it happen. You’re my friend, Micah, and I always make time for my friends.” She glanced over at Tommy who was now running around the small backyard, chasing squirrels up the trees. “You’re a good brother, you know that? Tommy is very lucky to have you.”
He hugged her, then went outside to join his brother. Lucy watched them through the windows.
Alex cleared his throat. She sighed and sat down at the table where she could also watch the boys play. She hadn’t thought much about the fact that she couldn’t have children of her own—she’d had emergency surgery when she was eighteen and her uterus had been removed. It was a loss she’d dealt with, but now, watching the two dark-haired boys, she imagined what it would be like to have her own boys, to watch them grow and run and laugh. To love and protect them.
“Social services thought it best to unite the boys with their maternal grandparents as soon as possible,” Alex said. “I’m flying with them to Miami tomorrow after Micah gives a preliminary statement to the judge. I’ll stay overnight to make sure everything is kosher. I have an agent there who’ll check on them periodically, as well as the court-appointed counselor until the guardianship is finalized. The grandparents are young—in their early fifties—and both working. Mr. Sanders is a high school science teacher and Mrs. Sanders teaches second grade. Victoria was their only daughter. She left home at eighteen and hadn’t contacted her parents in nine years. They think she was pregnant with Micah by then, and they think they know who his father is. The guy never knew he had a kid, according to them.”
“You learned a lot in just one morning,” Lucy said.
“When young kids are involved, I think it’s best to move quickly.”
“Thank you.”
“I wouldn’t be here except Micah insisted.” Alex glanced out the window and smiled. “He’s a hard kid to say ‘no’ to. I’ll make a visit happen.”
“I appreciate it.” She then asked, “Did you find his mother’s body?”
Noah answered that. “The FBI evidence response team has been out there all night, using Sean’s map, and yes, we found her body. They’re exhuming it now for autopsy, then proper burial. But you were right—two bullets to her head.”
“And what about the others?”
Alex spoke. “DEA is handling the investigation into the drugs and distribution. Ann Nelson has been leading this dog-and-pony show for several years. She moves each season to a new location—either in a warehouse or the open space—bribes someone, or in this case involves a family member, and produces hundreds of pounds of meth. Based on the waste found in the forest, they probably manufactured thirty pounds of meth this summer in that one trailer. It was far more advanced a setup than your average garage meth-house.”
“Is that a lot?”
“A superlab, which is usually a permanent lab run by the cartels, produces about one hundred pounds annually, about twenty-five dollars a hit, a hundred thousand hits”—he did the math in his head—“so Ann’s operation, which is a third of the size of a superlab, was probably putting close to a million dollars of meth on the street. Not bad for a few months of work.” Alex leaned forward, almost giddy. “We think, after examining the burned-out trucks and what remained in the lab, that they had it all with them so it hadn’t hit the streets yet, which is good. Jeff Nelson is going to talk. His lawyer is working out a deal with the U.S. Attorney and I think we’re going get their entire network. This is hugely important because meth is relatively new on the East Coast—we haven’t been dealing with the problem as long as the West Coast, but we have seen an increase in mom-and-pop labs over the last couple years. This is a major blow to their network.”
“Good,” Sean said.
Lucy was happy with the results but Noah looked unsettled. “Noah, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know where to begin.”
Noah was very angry and Lucy became confused. She didn’t know what to say, why he was so deeply irritated. “I didn’t plan this,” she said. “It’s not like Sean and I knew they were there.”
Noah rubbed his face. “I don’t see where you could have done anything differently than you did, but you’d better be clear and straightforward when you give your official statement.”
Lucy’s confusion turned to worry, like she was missing something important. She said, “Last night you said the shooting was justified.”
“It was. But you’re still a trainee. You’re not supposed to be carrying a gun. I know it wasn’t yours, but it seems every time you slip under the radar, when things are working out for you, something like this happens and you’re in the spotlight again.”
Sean leaned forward. “What are you getting at, Noah? Spit it out, because you sound like a jerk.”
Lucy winced. Sean and Noah had never liked each other, even though for her sake they had been trying to get along.
“Dammit,” Noah muttered. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Paula called in the Office of Professional Responsibility to conduct the hearing tomorrow. It’s not going to be a breeze—not like the hearing after what happened in New York last month. You were following orders then. This was something that happened on your own clock.”
“I would do it again,” Lucy said. Her stomach turned queasy and had she eaten anything today she would have been ill. “Ann Nelson would have killed those boys. She killed their mother.”
“All I’m saying is, trouble finds you, Lucy. Stay on guard.”
Sean was going to say something, but Lucy took his hand and squeezed it. She didn’t need him to defend her. “Noah,” she said softly. She looked at the boys again. They were sitting on the swing out back, rocking, and Tommy was talking a mile a minute, pointing at everything. Micah was the strong, silent type, listening to and protecting his brother. Lucy suddenly wished she could keep them both, raise them—but that was a ridiculous thought. She and Sean weren’t married, she was embarking on a new career, and she was only twenty-five. She couldn’t give them what they needed. Not now.
“I can’t live my life constantly worried that what I do is going to jeopardize my career,” Lucy said. “I have to do what’s right and be confident in my decisions—otherwise I’ll never be a good agent. I’m not apologizing for the choices I made yesterday, no matter what the risk was, because they were the right choices at that time. If I hadn’t shot Ann, she would have killed Micah or me. And they teach us to shoot to kill, remember? I used my training appropriately. I don’t feel good about it but I don’t feel bad about it, either. Not when those boys now have a chance at a normal life.”
Normal. Maybe Tommy. He was still very young, and while he’d remember what happened, he had his older brother to look out for him.
But Micah would never forget the three days he was alone in the woods. He’d never forget finding his mother’s grave or watching Lucy shoot his mother’s killer.
But it didn’t matter in the end because all the things that happened to land them here were not their fault. Ann and her crew had made the choice to manufacture and sell drugs. Vicky Sanders had made the decision to bring her kids into that life. How they got out wasn’t as important as the fact that they were out, and had grandparents who loved and wanted to raise them.
Noah was torn because he wanted to protect her from facing the hard questions that OPR would give her. But life was hard. Lucy wasn’t going to run away or bury her head or beg for forgiveness. There was nothing to forgive.
“I understand,” Noah said. He stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Chief O’Neal wants you in her office at seven to talk before the panel convenes at seven-thirty. She’s given you a pass tonight. She likes you, a lot more than Paula Dean.”
“I planned to be back by six tonight, I don’t want any special treatment—”
Sean put his hand over her mouth. “I’ll have her back at Quantico tomorrow morning.”
Alex stood as well. “For what it’s worth, I’ve already given my statement and your actions were appropriate, Agent Kincaid. You and Mr. Rogan not only saved the boys, but kept nearly a million dollars of drugs off the streets. And my SWAT team captain Lee North had similar things to say in his report. I’ve known Lee for six years. Praise from him is rare. You earned it.” He walked out to the backyard to get the boys.
“Thanks for the heads-up, Noah,” Lucy said.
“Just watch yourself tomorrow. Going up in front of OPR is never fun, even if you have the truth on your side.”
After everyone left, Sean made Lucy lunch. She picked at it, and he told her, “You must be starving.”
“My stomach is in knots.”
“About the panel tomorrow?”
“That. And Micah. He’s a brave kid. I wish—” She stopped herself. This wasn’t a conversation she was ready to have.
Sean took both her hands and kissed them. “You wish you could take him home with you.”
She squeezed back tears and shook her head. “I’m not ready to adopt a child. I’m just worried about him. What he’s going to be living with, inside, for the rest of his life. He’s brave, but he’s still a nine-year-old boy.”
“Micah and Tommy are going to be okay. They’re going to have a real home. That’s what they need. And that DEA agent, Johnson, seemed to be on top of things. I’m sure the grandparents will get Micah help if he needs it.”
“You’re right.” She looked at their joined hands. Her future had once been so bleak she didn’t know if she would ever really have one. “I guess I was just thinking that when the time is right, I want to take in kids who need a home.”
“Kids like Micah and Tommy.”
She nodded.
“And when the time is right, I’ll be there with you. I’ve told you before, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.” He pushed her plate in front of her. “Now eat. Then we’re going to take a shower.”
She raised an eyebrow. “We?”
Sean grinned. “Yes,
we.
Together. We have a free night, and we’re not leaving this house. In fact, after we finish eating, we’re not leaving my bedroom.”
“Afraid that if we leave the house trouble will find us?”
“Afraid? No. Confident that trouble is outside that door? Hell, yes.”
And keep reading for an excerpt from
Allison Brennan’s exciting new series debut
NOTORIOUS
A Max Revere Novel
Available in April 2014 in hardcover
from Minotaur Books
CHAPTER 1
Going home was a bitch.
Maxine Revere had flirted with the idea of flying in solely for Kevin’s funeral so her perfect and dysfunctional family wouldn’t hear about her visit until she was already on a plane back to New York City. Three things stopped her.
Foremost, Max did not run away from uncomfortable situations. She recognized that she wasn’t the same nineteen-year-old who’d defied her family.
She’d also get a kick from walking into the family mansion unannounced and watching a reboot of
Dallas
, set in California. The Sterling-Revere family could take on the Ewings and win without breaking a nail or going to jail. Being the blackest sheep in the herd was more fun than taking two cross-country flights in one day.
But the primary reason she was staying for the weekend was for Kevin’s sister, Jodi O’Neal. Kevin had been Max’s former best friend and confidant. He’d killed himself, and Jodi had questions. Max had no answers for the college coed, but she understood why Jodi sought truth where there had only been lies. Max had survived grief, she’d been a close acquaintance with death, and maybe she could give Jodi a modicum of peace.