Collateral Damage (From the Damage) (12 page)

“And that kiss? Let’s see, where did I see that…” She continued searching through the pages until she found one she recognized. As she read, her mouth dropped open in an exaggerated gasp and her eyes widened. But she snapped the book shut without reading it out loud. “Let’s just say she saw fireworks. At least, until you shut her out in the ice. Now, I wonder how she’d feel if she found out about you and me. Especially since she’s trying
so hard
to be cool about you rejecting her. Think she’d be able to keep up the mask?” She pulled out her cell phone. “Let’s find out.”

“Why are you trying to hurt her?” Gage asked, tempted to swipe the phone from her hand.

“Why do you care if she gets hurt?”

“This isn’t a game, Kendall. It’s not fun to hurt people for your own selfish reasons,” he stumbled on the words, so angry at himself for the way he’d hurt people, whether it was out of spite or just to push them away. “And you can’t undo it. So, you want to tell Kelly? That’s fine. But do it because it’s the right thing to do, not just so you can watch her cry.”

He walked over to the door and held it open for her. “Now, get out.”

As she walked out the door, she just grinned at him, like he was an idiot and
everything
was a game.

“And one more thing,” he said, holding out his hand. “That journal.”

With a playful smirk, she fished it out of her purse and handed it over. “Happy reading.”

With that, she walked away and he shut the door behind her. 

***

Alex

***

After she cried for about an hour, Alex finally convinced Kay to take a warm bath. He ran the water for her, throwing in some shampoo the hotel provided to make bubbles.

Then, after giving her another comforting hug, he left her to do the rest of the relaxing on her own. Once the bathroom door shut, he sat down on the bed and rested his head in his hands.

In hindsight, dragging her to Charlotte was a dumb, half-baked idea. Some things were better left hidden.

He flopped back across the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Wishing he knew how to help Kay, wishing he could fix this for her. But knowing he couldn’t.

Someone knocked on the door, and thinking it was maid service or something, he called out, “We’re good, thanks!”

But the person only knocked again, louder this time. Aggravated, he stood up and pulled open the door. Surprised to find an older woman who looked a lot like Kay.

She looked just as surprised to see him. “Um…I’m sorry…the clerk said—”

“Let me guess,” he said impatiently, eyeing her up and down. “You’re Kay’s mom.”

She raised an eyebrow. “And you are…?”

“Alex,” he said, reaching out his left hand. “Her boyfriend.”

She shook his hand, looking past him. Seeming a little relieved to see two beds in the room. “How is she?”

He laughed bitterly and walked away from the door, leaving it open for her to come in. “She’s a mess. She cried for a few hours. Now she’s trying to relax with a bath, but I don’t think it’ll help much, do you?”

She walked into the room, a flash of indignation in her eyes. “I don’t know what you think you know—”

“I’ll tell you what I know.” He turned to her. “Kay needs you. And you’re not there.”

She crossed her arms with a look of guilt this time. “Can you tell her I’m here, please?”

He walked over to the bathroom door. “Sure thing Mrs. Landers. Or is it Mrs. Monroe?” without waiting for a reply, he tapped twice on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” Kay called from inside.

“Your mom’s here,” he said. “What do you want me to do?”

It took her a minute, but she finally said, “I’ll be right out.”

Alex turned away from the door. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

Without another word, he walked past Melanie and out the front door, shutting it behind him.

Chapter 9

Kay

When Kay stepped out of the bathroom, she was wrapped in the thick cotton robe the hotel provided. She held it tightly around her as she looked at her mother.

“I met your boyfriend,” Melanie said after a long, awkward silence. “He seems…opinionated.”

But Kay just stared at her mom with an icy gaze.

“But cute,” Melanie added. Looking around the hotel room, she seemed uncomfortable. “I hope you’re being careful.”

Kay sighed
and rolled her eyes at her mom’s pathetic attempt at concern, not knowing where to begin to respond. Wanting to slap her, or hug her and tell her everything. But she just said, “How’d you find me?”

“I drove around until I found your car,” she said.

“You tried that hard?” Kay scoffed, going to the cooler to get a bottle of water. “I’m shocked.”

“Kaytlin…”

“It’s Kay,” she snapped. “I go by
Kay
. But you don’t really know anything about me, do you? Just like I don’t know anything about the real you.”

Melanie sighed and awkwardly sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Why didn’t
you
tell me?”

“Because of that look on your face,” she said. “That disdain. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand. Because instead of divorcing Dad, like a normal person would, you go and marry someone else, trapping us all in some sort of limbo!”

Melanie pinched the crook of her nose like she had a headache coming on. “You have every right to be angry.”

“Yes. I do. You should have let me know that you
left
us.”

“I didn’t leave you…”

“Yes, you did, Mom. You did.” Feeling tears come on, Kay tried to push them back. “You have no idea what he’s like.”

“Who? Your father?”

“Yes,” she exclaimed. “He drinks all the time. He tries to control everything I do.”

“He’s your father, that’s his job.” Melanie stood, shaking her head. “And I know he’s always liked his alcohol, but…just go to your room when he’s drinking or something. It can’t be that bad.”

“You think?” she snapped. “Is that how you sleep at night?”

Kay turned away from her mother, knowing all she needed to do was pull down the robe and show her the bruises. But why should she share something so personal, when her mom had done nothing but lie and manipulate? What proof did she have that her mother would even care?

“What do you want from me?” Melanie asked, sounding weary and ashamed.

“I don’t
want
a damn thing,” Kay said, her voice shaking. “But I do
need
one last thing.”

“What’s that?”

“My own place.”

Melanie narrowed her eyes. “You can’t be serious. You’re way too young—”

“I need my own place,” she repeated. “Now are you going to help me get it? Or do I have to tell Dad your dirty little secret? And by the way, I’m pretty sure that polygamy is illegal.”

“Really?” Melanie said, leveling a cold gaze on her daughter. “You’re blackmailing me?”

“You’ve left me no choice!” Kay exclaimed. “I’m sick of both of you, and I just want
out
. Dad can have his booze and his freaking army memories and you can have your new husband and little boy. Just let me go, and I won’t bother either one of you again.”

“Kaytl—
Kay
, that’s not the way I want it to be.”

“Too bad.” Kay crossed her arms, not to be defiant, but to keep them from shaking. “Because that’s the way it is. Now, are you going to help me, or not?”

“You don’t have to live with your father,” she said finally, reluctantly. “You can come live with me.”

“No way in hell,” Kay spat, glaring at her mother. “I hate you. Don’t you get that? I want nothing to do with you, but you’re my only shot. If Dad found out I was even here, doing this, he’d freak. You have no idea how badly he’d freak. So I need you to talk him into letting me move out. I need you to sign the lease. And paying the security deposit wouldn’t hurt. I work for tips.”

Melanie just stared at Kay, as if she was seeing a complete stranger. Finally, she sighed. “Have you looked at apartments yet?”

***

Kelly

***

Kelly was buried in the sorting room at her mother’s store, surrounded by boxes and racks of clothing. Lately, it’d been her job to take the clothes from the boxes and hang them on the rack, which was annoyingly tedious, but gave her a chance to swipe an outfit or two along the way.

She’d just pulled out a cute patterned tank-top when her cell phone started ringing. Recognizing Gage’s ringtone immediately, her heart stopped. For a second, she just froze, listening to the Friends theme song, muffled by her pocket. Her body filled
with  anticipation as she dug out her phone and answered it. “Hey,” she said, trying to keep her voice light and careless.

“Kelly, hey,” he said, only he didn’t sound nearly so carefree. “Are you busy?”

She looked around at the stacks of boxes she hadn’t touched yet, and the bare racks to go. “Kind of, but not really. Why, what’s up?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, the heavy kind, like he was upset or something, but she couldn’t figure it out. “I was hoping…maybe you could…come over?” he finally said. “There’s something I want to talk about.”

She almost fainted. What could he possibly want to talk to her about? He’d never—not once—called her and asked her to come ‘talk’ before. Had he changed his mind about pretending the kiss never happened?

Probably not
, she reasoned. Still, she was too stubborn to just drop everything and run. “Um…yeah, I could come over when I finish up here.”

“Great,” he said. “See you then.”

She quickly hung up the phone and stood to check herself out in the full-length mirror. Seeing her reflection, she groaned. She’d known wearing a track-suit to work would come back to bite her. Then she looked around, spotting a cute pair of jeans poking out of a box.

In a few minutes, she was changed into a cute pair of lo-riders and a v-neck tank-top with a sheer jacket over-top. She’d thrown her hair into a quick French-braid, which looked really cute with the recent black and red chunks of color she’d added. And though part of her nagged at how pathetic it was to get dressed up, she figured she was entitled to look good when she went to see him. She couldn’t have him thinking she sat around pining over him,
in sweats, no less, even though she was guilty of that from time to time.

As she was heading out the door, she passed by her mom’s office. “I gotta run out for a few,” she said. “I’ll be back later.”

“Okay,” Jodi said, glancing up from the computer. “Hey, isn’t that new—”

“Can you take it out of my paycheck?” she asked with an innocent smile. “I had a fashion emergency.”

“I suppose,” Jodi said, caving. “Grab some dinner on your way back in?”

“Sure.”

The drive to Gage’s apartment building took her all the way across town, and traffic was a bit crazier than usual. She arrived around thirty minutes after the phone call, which she hoped was long enough.

So maybe she had just dropped everything and ran…it didn’t mean she was desperate or pathetic. It just meant she was curious. Her palms were sweaty as she walked up the narrow, dark staircase to the third floor.

Reaching his door, she took a minute to wipe her hands and pop in a piece of gum before she knocked.

He answered a little while later and opened the door for her. She couldn’t help but notice how quiet the apartment was. No sounds of cartoons, or Lizzie’s precious cooing and laughter.

“Hey.” Shutting the door behind them, he turned to her, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” she replied, lingering in the space between the coffee table and the TV. “You?”

“Good.”

“How’s Lizzie?” She looked around, noticing the empty playpen.

“She’s doing great. She’s out with Sarah now.”

Kelly nodded, unsure of what to say. Had he arranged to be alone with her? Or was it a coincidence? “So…”

“Why don’t you have a seat?” He motioned to the couch as he headed over to the small table by the door.

When she sat down, he came over carrying a journal in one hand. “I uh...I thought you might want this back.”

As he held it out, she realized the journal was hers. Confused, she took it from him, leafing through the pages real quick to see if everything was in its place. “I…I don’t understand.”

“Kendall had it,” he said as he sat down. “I didn’t think you’d want her to keep it.”

“No, definitely not,” she said, still a little thrown off. And completely humiliated. How much of her secret thoughts and deepest feelings had Kendall been reading? “But…how did you know Kendall had it?”

He nodded, like he’d been waiting for that one. “She came to see me…she used to be Peyton’s friend.”

“Oh,” she replied. That, at least, made a little bit of sense. But now, instead of curious excitement and butterflies of attraction, a sickening feeling of dread settled into her stomach. “So…when you ‘met’ her in group…”

“I was being… discreet. Or maybe I was being a total jerk.”

Folding her hands in her lap, she looked down at her pink acrylic nails, studying the fading color as she tried to work through all the questions he’d raised. Finally, she said, “Why do I get the feeling there’s more to the story?”

He started to say something, but she interrupted, a sudden burst of bitterness kicking in. “Wait, are you going to say it’s none of my business? Because that seems to be your answer for everything.”   

Biting his lip, he looked at her with that unreadable, stony gaze that always made her brain turn to mush and her stomach do a flip-flop.”I’m going to tell you the truth,” he said. “Because I think you deserve to hear it.” 

Leaning back against the couch, she crossed her arms and waited. Bracing
herself for whatever confession he needed to make.

He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans as he started walking across the room. “First of all…let me just say: never get married in high school. It was a disaster.” He kind of chuckled, like he was embarrassed by this. “I told you about Peyton and how she cheated and she was always out partying. I told you I was a total ass about it.”

Pausing, he leaned one hand against the mantle, looking back at her. “Then there was this one night. After Peyton and I got married, but before Lizzie was born. I was sitting right where you are, waiting on her. I’d been waiting on her for hours when Kendall stopped by with some beer and some pot. And even though I’d been trying to stay clean, I’d had a week from hell and I was just…just so tired of the bills and the baby plans and Peyton stumbling in, not caring about any of it. So I had a beer. Then I had a couple more…and…” he trailed off, his voice quivering toward the end.

But his message came through, in full Technicolor, spawning images Kelly didn’t want to see. 
She cringed, literally cringed, when she realized what he was trying to say.

“One thing led to another. The next thing I know, I wake up to Peyton screaming at me…and Kendall’s in bed next to me. It was a nightmare.”

For a minute, all Kelly could do was stare. “You…you cheated on Peyton.”

He nodded slowly, and she could tell he hated himself for it.

“With Kendall,” she continued, talking mostly to herself. Her brain was bombarded with images of Gage and Kendall having drunken sex, her stomach turning sicker. “While your wife was pregnant.”

The shame on his face turned to full-blown self-loathing. “I told you I did horrible things.”

She hadn’t had a chance to prepare herself for the pain, and while it was climbing up inside her, she tried desperately to keep it hidden. “Congratulations. But, from what I hear, there aren’t a lot of people Kendall hasn’t slept with, so I hope you don’t think you’re special or anything.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “It wasn’t. I mean—”

She held up a hand, cutting him off. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Kendall seems to think you have a thing for me,” he said, finally returning to his seat. “She was going to tell you, to hurt you with it. I didn’t want you to find out that way.”

“Well, you wasted your time because it doesn’t hurt,” she said, quickly standing up. “Thanks for the journal though.”

“Kelly
wait.” Gage stood up, reaching out for her.

She recoiled from his touch, but turned to face him.
One thing she was sure of, if she wasn’t the first to pull away, Gage would’ve been.

“It’s okay if it does,” he said softly. “You don’t have to pretend…”

“I thought that was exactly what you wanted me to do,” she shot back, clutching the journal to her chest. “Pretend the kiss never happened. Pretend I don’t…”

“Kelly…” He
came a little closer and motioned to the space around him. “Take a look at my life. What could I possibly offer a girl like you?”