Coming Home (16 page)

Mrs McGuire had telephoned the creamery and arranged for the lorry to collect the milk at the junction with the main road and asked for empty churns to be dropped off ready for the next milking. She contacted the grocer, promising they would give him their ration cards when he next delivered to the farms if he would send some emergency supplies to help them through the week. He met Steven with stocks of bread, flour, oatmeal, lard and various other commodities. The meat ration had been cut to a shillings worth per week in January but the butcher had sent what he could as well as two tins of corned beef to share between them all.

The
Loaning wives did their best to repay Steven for getting their milk away. Mrs McGuire made him a large pan of barley broth, the Kerr family sent two fruit pies and the three other wives, whom he barely knew yet, had sent bread and scones, a dozen eggs and a savoury dish which he couldn’t identify but he was hungry enough by evening to eat almost anything.

‘Everybody rallies round to help when there’s trouble and we all like to repay a kindness,’ Mrs McGuire said. ‘Ye’re young but ye’re truly one of us, laddie. At least your Ma doesna need to worry about you going hungry. She telephoned this afternoon but I told her ye were taking our milk to the main road. Your brother had taken his across the fields with his tractor.

‘Did she have any other news?’ he asked eagerly.

‘The doctor hasna been back on account o’ the snow drifts but he told her every day your father survives without having another stroke is a step nearer surviving. He still canna speak clearly though, and he gets agitated when your brother goes into his bedroom.’

Steven nodded. He knew now that Fred had cheated his father out of more than fifty pounds in cash to hide the fact he had bought the cheapest cattle he could find. He knew it was not the loss of the money which would have distressed his father but the disappointment he must feel at being deceived by his own son.

‘I told your Ma you would come round here tonight and telephone her after you finished milking.’

‘Oh thanks, Mrs McGuire,’ Steven said with real gratitude. He felt like hugging her.

‘
I thought ye’d be pleased. I took the liberty of asking the telephone people whether you could get a telephone installed. That’s what you want, isn’t it?’

‘
Yes it is. What did they say?’

‘
You’d have to agree to a party line if you want one soon.’

‘
What does that mean?’ Steven asked with a frown.

‘
You’d share a line. We’re nearest and we’re the only ones using this one. I’m not sure how it works except you can’t use it when the other party is telephoning. We only use ours for emergencies and a few messages. You’d probably do the same so we dinna mind sharing a line if ye want to go ahead. They’re going to write and explain, and tell us what it will cost.’

Later
that evening Steven telephoned his mother but he was conscious that the McGuires could hear his half of the conversation. He sensed how upset his mother was and it didn’t sound as though she was getting much support from Fred or the land girl, Edna. He longed to go to Willowburn to see them but with snow still lying and his animals to tend he knew it would be foolish to risk setting out on his bicycle.

‘
Come and have a cup of tea and a biscuit, laddie, and stop fretting,’ Mrs McGuire urged as soon as he put the receiver back on its cradle. ‘Your mother is a capable woman. She’s bound to be anxious but it sounds as though your Pa is holding his own. She’ll not want you worrying.’

***

Steven had always enjoyed writing to Megan and getting her letters, but he hadn’t realised how much he needed her until now. He had been hoping for a letter from her but the postman hadn’t got through to any of the small holdings for the past two days. He sat down with his pad and his Conway Stewart fountain pen. It had been a gift from Megan and her parents on his twenty first birthday and he used it regularly. It was one of his most treasured possessions and he filled it carefully from the ink bottle.

Megan was shocked to learn Mr Caraford had suffered a stroke when the letters belatedly arrived from Steven and her parents. Fred’s trickery was despicable and she gasped when she read Steven’s account of him pocketing the cash. Although he had no respect for his half brother, and he was often ashamed of him, Megan knew Steven was intensely loyal when it came to family so she felt honoured that he trusted her enough to confide in her, but she could tell he was terribly upset about his father.

At times like this Megan wished she had taken a job locally instead of having to stay away at college. She hadn’t minded so much for the first eighteen months when Steven was still in the army but knowing he was upset and on his own made her yearn to be nearer and to offer comfort and help. Then the doubts crept in as they did so often these days. She knew Steven valued her friendship or he wouldn’t write so often or confide in her, but would he ever see her as more than the younger sister of his best friend? She knew he and Sam had confided in each other about many things and sometimes she wondered if Steven saw her as a substitute confidante. He never spoke of the future or of his feelings for her.

Pauline Cameron, one of her college friends, had an elder brother who worked in a bank. He had been transferred to a branch about six miles away and he lived in lodgings so he often came to see Pauline. He had been taking them both out in his car, trying to teach Pauline to drive but she was terrified the car would run away with her. When he asked Megan if she would like to try she seized the opportunity. If she could get her licence she was sure her father would let her borrow his car to drive down to Steven’s when she was at home during the holidays.

Derek
lost patience with his sister’s nervousness but to Megan’s surprise he seemed happy to continue taking her for lessons. Pauline was content to sit in the back but as the end of the Easter term drew nearer and examinations loomed she said she needed to stay in and study. It was true she found the work difficult so Megan accepted her decision. She had no qualms when Derek suggested she should continue the lessons on her own. It never occurred to her that he found her attractive. Her only aim was to learn to drive so that she could visit Steven. She was hoping the weather would have improved enough for her to help him with his vegetable garden during her vacation and she looked forward to the two of them working together.

One
evening, Derek leaned forward and ran his hand down her leg to her ankle while she was driving. She gasped but she was unable to shrug him off when she was driving.

‘
Don’t do that, Derek! We might have an accident.’

‘
I couldn’t resist. I’ve noticed what shapely ankles you have,’ he grinned, watching her, waiting for her response. She muttered and stared at the road ahead, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. He laughed. ‘I could almost believe you’re shy but Pauline tells me you had a boyfriend who was in the army?’

‘
Yes, I have, but he’s not in the army now.’ She hoped that had quelled any ideas he might be harbouring for a mild flirtation with her. When he started teaching them to drive, Pauline had confided that he was pleased to fill his spare time with them because he had parted from his long term girlfriend when he got promoted and had to move away. His familiarity made her feel uncomfortable so she was thankful when he reverted to his usual casual friendliness. Derek had a nice car and he was good looking so she assumed he probably had lots of girl friends. She decided she was being conceited if she thought he had any interest in her, other than as his sister’s friend. She assumed the driving lessons were his way of repaying her for helping Pauline, who found the work and the exams such a struggle. The short drives continued when they could be fitted in and Derek behaved impeccably.

At
last the exams were over. They were all in high spirits, preparing to go home for the Easter holidays. Megan had packed her case so she would be ready to leave early the following morning. She was surprised when one of the girls brought a message to say Derek was waiting outside in his car to take her for a last driving lesson before the holidays. The weather was still cold and snow lay in shady hollows beneath the hedges but the roads were clear. She grabbed her coat and ran down to the front entrance.

‘
I wasn’t expecting to see you, Derek.’

‘
You said you wanted to surprise your father with your driving and you’ve been busy with your exams lately so I decided you should have a refresher before you go home.’ He climbed into the passenger seat, indicating she should get behind the wheel. A group of her fellow students were strolling down the road and they waved merrily.

‘
I’ll wait for you in the entrance hall in the morning,’ Maryanne called. ‘Don’t be late. We don’t want to miss the train home.’

‘
I’m all packed. I’ll be there!’ Megan called back.

‘
Turn left at the road end and we’ll take a scenic route this evening,’ Derek instructed.

‘
We shall not have long to view the scenery. It still gets dark early. It doesn’t feel like spring yet.’

He
continued to direct her along country roads she had never been before but she felt more confident and in control now. She hoped her father would be impressed. They had travelled quite a distance when Derek told her to turn right into an even narrower road. As she drove along she began to feel uneasy. The road was so narrow there were passing places at the side. Megan shuddered.

‘
It’s so dark and gloomy with the trees meeting overhead. It’s like being in an eerie green tunnel and there’s still snow on the tussocks of grass where the sun never penetrates.’

‘
Draw into the next clearing and I’ll drive the rest of the way,’ Derek offered. ‘You’re doing well. I reckon you should apply for your driving test.’

‘
Thank you.’ Megan drew the car to a halt and climbed out of the driver’s side. The dark woods on either side gave her a creepy feeling but she stretched thankfully, realising how tense her neck and shoulder muscles were. Before she guessed his intentions, Derek had moved round the car and placed an arm on either side of her, trapping her with her back to the car.

‘
How about a wee thank-you then before you go off for the holidays. I shall miss you, Megan.’ His arms tightened and he pressed her close, much too close. ‘I don’t know how I shall survive without seeing you,’ he muttered and clamped his mouth firmly on hers stifling her protests. His kiss deepened. Except for Steven’s tender goodbye kiss at the station Megan had never had more than a peck on the cheek. She struggled, trying to shove Derek away but he was strong and broad shouldered. She remembered Pauline telling her he had been in the rugby team at university. His grip tightened. He seemed excited, oblivious to her struggles. She began to panic. She couldn’t breathe. The smiling young man she thought she knew had disappeared. She was frightened and his strength astonished her.

‘
Stop it!’ she gasped when he lifted his head for a moment.

‘
I’ve been longing for this since the first night I saw you with Pauline.’ His breath was hot against her cheek and his mouth moved feverishly over her face.

‘
Stop it, Derek! C-control yourself.’ She was near to tears but he continued to rain kisses on her face and then down to her throat. One of his hands was fumbling with the buttons of her coat and Megan was both angry and terrified now. She had no idea where she was and she realised Derek had brought her to this isolated spot deliberately. His intentions were obvious, even to her. It was lust Derek felt and nothing more. She struggled helplessly.

Twelve

As soon as the roads were clear enough Jimmy Kerr offered to take Steven up to Willowburn if he could ride pillion on the back of his motor bike. Steven accepted gratefully. It was Jimmy’s father who had bred Shandy and both father and son often stopped at Schoirhead to pass the time of day on their way past. They always enquired how the wee dog was doing and Mr Kerr offered some advice on training him.

Hannah Caraford was astonished and delighted when Steven walked into the kitchen at Willowburn that evening.

‘
Wherever did you spring from, laddie? How did you get here at this time o’ night? Surely you havena come on your push bike?’

‘
No,’ Steven grinned at her, ‘I got a lift on the back of an angel of mercy.’ Behind him Jimmy gave an explosive laugh and Steven introduced him.

‘
I’ve been called a good many names but nobody has ever called me an angel,’ he chuckled. ‘Wait until I tell Ma that.’

‘
Well you must be something like that to come out on a cold night. I’m truly grateful to you, laddie. I’ll make you both a hot drink and something to eat. Draw up a chair. You go up and see your father, Steven. He’ll be really pleased you’ve come. He’s managing to say an odd word now, enough to let me know when he needs a drink or the toilet. He has a long way to go but his mind is clear and that’s a great relief.’

‘
Where’s Fred?’ Steven asked warily.

‘
He and Edna are toasting themselves in front of the living room fire. I think they’re listening to “Have a go Joe” on the wireless.’

‘
Fine. I’ll go up to Father then.’

As
soon as he entered the bedroom, Steven knew by the way his father’s eyes widened then lit up that it had been worth the freezing ride on the back of Jimmy’s motor bike. He went to the bedside and took his father’s limp hand in both of his. He had difficulty speaking himself over the lump in his throat. His father looked so much smaller and so defenceless propped against a mound of pillows. He was trying hard to speak.

‘
Heifers? Is that what you meant, Father?’ He nodded.

‘
A-aw-ay,’ he croaked.

‘
Don’t worry about them. The dealer collected them the day before we were blocked in with the snow. He paid me thirty pounds for the pair. He said that was what you agreed?’ His father nodded. He seemed to relax. He tried to smile, or at least that’s what Steven thought but it was a lopsided grimace.

‘
B-uy…c-c…’

‘
You want me to buy a cow with the money?’ His father nodded and closed his eyes as though exhausted. Steven sat for a while on the edge of the bed but he guessed the effort to talk tired his father. He heard his mother calling softly from downstairs and he stood up. His father opened his eyes and gave the grimacing smile, then he reached over with his left hand and clasped Steven’s hand firmly.

‘
G-laad…c-c…’

‘
I’m glad I came too, Father. The roads are getting better every day so I’ll be back to see you before long. You rest now, and don’t worry about any of us.’ Steven said gently. His father had never been a demonstrative man but on impulse Steven bent and kissed him lightly on his brow. Eddy Caraford opened his eyes and Steven saw they were bright with tears. He squeezed his father’s hands. ‘Rest now,’ he said gruffly. He closed the bedroom door quietly behind him. He gulped over the lump in his throat then took out his handkerchief and gave a good blow before he returned to the kitchen to join his mother and Jimmy Kerr. He sensed his mother’s keen regard.

‘
He’s better than I dared to hope,’ he said. ‘I could guess what he was trying to say. Did the doctor think his speech would return?’

‘
He was here today and he said he was pleasantly surprised and he thinks Eddy may be able to communicate if he goes on as he is doing, though he’ll probably never be able to hold a proper conversation,’ she added sadly. ‘Now drink up your tea Steven and eat some scone and jam. I’ve made up a parcel of food for you to take back if you can manage it on the motor bike.’

‘
Oh I’ll find a way to manage it,’ Steven grinned. ‘Thanks Ma.’

‘
Then I think you’d better be getting back. I do wish you had a telephone so you could tell me you were home safely.’

‘
I’ll telephone you, Mrs Caraford,’ Jimmy volunteered. He grinned at Steven. ‘We’ll not be able to stop off at the pub for a drink if we’ve to report in.’

‘
Don’t worry, Ma. Jimmy is only teasing. We shall both be glad to be back home to a warm house tonight. And I’ve put my name in for a shared telephone line. I said it was urgent due to illness so I should have a telephone before long.’

‘
Oh, Steven, that will be such a relief.’

‘
Yes, it will. I never thought of anything like this happening. We shall not have to talk too long though because the other party can’t use their phone if the line is being used.’

‘
Just to be able to get in touch will be a relief. Annie McGuire has been very kind but I hate to pester other folks.’

***

Fear leant Megan strength as she struggled against Derek’s grip.

‘Let me go!’ she gasped. ‘You have no right to treat me like this.’

‘No?’ He lifted his head. He seemed surprised. ‘I’ve been taking you out for weeks now.’

‘
B-but only to teach me to d-drive…’

‘
For goodness sake Megan! You must have guessed how I feel about you. A fellow doesn’t waste his time and petrol driving a girl round the countryside unless he expects something in return. Come on…’

‘Y-you’re despicable,’ she said with a gasping sob. She turned her head sharply as he tried to kiss her mouth again. ‘I-I thought you enjoyed teaching Pauline and me to drive.’

‘Pauline knew I fancied you. That’s why she stopped coming. I told her I’d rather be alone with you. You must have guessed?’

‘She knows I-I h-have a b-boyfriend. Don’t! Don’t do that!’ She pushed furiously at his groping hands.

‘So you’ve just been using me?’ She sensed Derek’s temper was rising. Anger was a dangerous emotion. ‘Then it’s time I used you in return.’ He fastened his fingers in her hair and wrenched it painfully, intending to turn her face to his while he held her hard against the car. Megan’s only thought was to get away from him. In desperation she grabbed at his nose and twisted it sharply. He gasped in pain and his grip slackened momentarily. She darted under his arm and ran into the wood. She had no idea where she was or where she was going. She had to get away. Run! Run! The words pounded in her head. Get away from him.

It
was even colder and darker amongst the trees and the undergrowth caught at her clothes but in her panic she ran on blindly. She heard Derek calling her name but it didn’t occur to her that he might be suffering remorse. Her breath caught in a sob but she kept on running until she was too breathless to go any further. She stopped behind a tree and listened. Gradually she stopped panting and her ears became accustomed to the night time noises and scuffles but there were no footsteps crashing through the wood in search of her. She had no idea how long she waited but eventually she heard a car engine roar into life some distance away. She held her breath. Yes, it was moving, she could hear it driving slowly along the road at the edge of the wood.

The
wave of relief was followed by an awful fear. How was she to get back? What if she couldn’t find her way out of the wood? Her teeth were chattering with cold and fright. Supposing she died of exposure in the cold night air?

‘Come on Meggie, let me look at your knee and I’ll give you a piggy back home.’ She could almost hear Steven’s voice all those years ago when she had followed him and Sam against their wishes. They had gone looking for birds’ nests in the old quarry and she had missed her footing and fallen heavily. ‘I c-can’t walk,’ she had sobbed.

‘
You can do anything, anything in the whole world, Meggie Oliphant,’ Steven had said bracingly, ‘if you’re brave enough to try.’ She had looked up at him with a wobbly smile and tear streaked face, but she had put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her to her feet. She took a deep breath. She needed all her courage now. She didn’t want to spend the night in the wood and end up as a frozen corpse. She wanted to go home tomorrow. She wanted to see Steven again. She peered through the trees in every direction. She thought the sky seemed lighter when she looked in one direction, but it could have been her imagination. She had to try. Stumbling over tussocks and through brambles she kept her eye on that grey glimmer which was only slightly less dark than the rest. She couldn’t believe she had run so far into the wood. Eventually the trees began to thin as she reached the edge. There was not a star to be seen through the thick curtain of cloud. She clamoured over a ditch onto the road. She had no idea which way to go.

The
narrow road seemed unending on foot and several times she stopped to pull up her coat collar against the damp chill of the wind, or to rest her feet for a few minutes. Her shoes were never intended for a hike in the country and they were wet and muddy. She could feel her heels growing tender and knew she would have blisters long before she got back to the hostel. Eventually she came to a junction with a slightly wider road but the signposts had been removed during the war and had not yet been replaced on such minor roads. She couldn’t remember driving this way. Mentally she tossed an imaginary coin then set off resolutely, hoping she might come to a cottage or farm where she could ask directions. She cringed at the thought of questions though. Only a fool would be out walking and get lost on a night like this. She came to another junction and a more major road. She was still hesitating when she saw two lights winking and wobbling towards her through the darkness. As they drew nearer she realised they were bicycles ridden by two middle aged workmen. She breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward to ask for directions.

Megan’s
relief was short lived. The men estimated she was at least five miles from the main road and another mile or two to the college. She wanted to sink down onto the grass verge and cry like a baby, but common sense reasserted itself. She gritted her teeth. She would get nowhere sitting down. If only she had grabbed her hat and gloves and scarf when she ran out so joyfully to join Derek. Even if she came to a village and a bus route she had no money to pay her fare. Resolutely she lifted her chin. There was nothing for it but to plod on in the direction the men had recommended.

Her
feet were blistered and sore with the rubbing of her damp leather shoes and her stockings were ruined from the brambles in the wood. Darkness had brought a chilling drizzle which penetrated to her bones in spite of her efforts to keep up a brisk pace. She had no idea how far she had walked. Except for the distant twinkle of a farm or cottage she seemed to be nowhere near civilisation. Her heart sank as she realised the hostel would be locked for the night long before she reached it, if she ever did. She was so weary and cold it was an effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other. These were country roads and petrol was rationed so she couldn’t even thumb a lift. She was filled with despair.

At
last Megan trudged through the gates into the hostel drive. The building was in darkness as she had known it would be. They were all supposed to be in bed by ten o’clock and that was hours ago. She felt like curling onto the steps and weeping. The rain was falling faster now and it had penetrated through her tweed coat and her jumper so she could feel the damp chill on her shoulders and her hair was dripping down her neck and around her face.

She
knew there was a boiler house but she had never investigated the sheds at the back of the hostel. She had to find shelter somewhere for the rest of the night. Her teeth were chattering with cold as she moved stealthily round the back of the building. As she reached the hostel laundry and the tiny kitchen which was for use of students she saw a faint crack of light round the thick wooden door. She remembered one or two of the bolder students sometimes arranged to be let in that way if they were out later than they were supposed to be. She had never expected to have need of it herself. She tried the door but it was locked. She knocked gently, without much hope. She almost fell inside when the door opened immediately.

‘Megan? Oh Megan, is it really you at last? Thank God you’re safe! Thank you, God.’ Pauline Cameron muttered and put her hands together as though in prayer. She was in her dressing gown and slippers and she seemed as near to tears of relief as Megan herself. ‘It’s nearly two o’clock. I-I thought. O-oh… I don’t know what I thought.’ She stammered feverishly as she unbuttoned Megan’s coat and peeled it off. She reached to the pulley above their heads and pulled down a towel which didn’t belong to either of them. ‘Sit on that stool. Let me rub your hair. I’m frozen waiting in here so you must be like ice.’ She pulled down another towel. ‘Here, dry your face and hands. I’ll kill that brother of mine.’

‘H-how d-did y-you know…?’ Megan could barely speak for her chattering teeth.

‘He telephoned the payphone and asked one of the girls to get me. He was worried sick. He knew he shouldn’t have left you – miles from anywhere – and in the dark. He said he waited quite a while but he couldn’t find you. He went back again to see if you were on the road but he thought you must have got a lift.’