Commitment (41 page)

Ian Mitchell squatted in front of the fireplace, poking at the logs mindlessly in an effort to break the tension in the room. It was approaching midnight, and there had been no word from Jonathan Krause. Alex was sitting on the sofa in the center of the cabin with her head back and eyes closed. She had been silent for hours. Eleana studied the two older agents thoughtfully. Occasionally, Alex would massage her temples with her thumbs, and Eleana noticed the slight grimace that accompanied each stroke.

“He’ll make it,” Eleana broke the lingering silence.

Alex gradually opened her eyes and leaned forward to regard the younger woman. “I know,” she said.

“Something else is bothering you,” Eleana guessed. Alex forced a smile.

“It’s the curse of attachments,” Ian Mitchell offered, prompting Alex to turn her attention to him. “Am I wrong?” Mitchell looked up from his task to capture Alex’s gaze. “Attachments always pose a risk.”

“No,” a voice answered. Jonathan Krause strolled into the room and nodded to Alex. He was soaking wet and obviously exhausted. Alex immediately hopped to her feet and ran to retrieve a towel. “Attachments are not our weakness, Ian,” Krause said, accepting the towel and a knowing smile from Alex.

“You look like shit,” Alex told her friend.

“Thanks,” Krause replied lightly.

“Trouble?” Ian asked.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Krause assured him. Alex was walking back toward the sofa when Krause noticed her favoring her left leg. “What happened?” he grabbed her arm in concern.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Alex winked.

“Alex?” he implored her.

“I’m fine. Ran into an unexpected guest at ASA,” Alex said. Krause waited for her to continue. “Marcus Anderson,” she explained.

“What the hell was Anderson doing at ASA?” he asked. Alex shrugged. “So, that’s who I should thank for your limp?” Krause asked his partner.

“It’s just a graze, Pip,” she told him.

“Yeah? Show me, then,” he challenged her.

Eleana noted the frustration in Alex’s eyes and the concern in Kraus’s voice. “It’s not that bad,” she supported Alex. “It didn’t go in that deep. I sutured it when we got here. It’ll be sore for a few days, though.”

Krause looked at Eleana and back to Alex. “That son of a bitch stabbed you?” he asked furiously.

“I’m fine,” Alex repeated. “At least no one shot me this time,” she joked.

Krause did not respond to his partner’s attempt at levity. His expression remained severe. “I’m going to go find something dry,” he muttered as he walked briskly from the room.

Alex was completely perplexed. They had been in worse situations, and both of them had suffered injuries in the past. “What the hell was that about?” she pondered his behavior aloud.

Eleana started in Krause’s direction. “I’ll talk to him,” she said softly.

Krause heard the footsteps as they entered the bedroom. “What do you want Eleana?” he asked.

Eleana slowly made her way behind him and placed her hand on his muscular back. “You need to tell her,” she said gently. She felt him take in a full breath and hold it. “Jonathan, she has a right to know.”

Krause hung his head, shaking it continuously. “How am I supposed to tell her?”

“Tell me what?” Alex asked as she entered the room. Krause and Eleana swiftly turned to meet Alex’s confused stare. “Pip? What can’t you tell me?” Alex implored him.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Eleana said. She leaned in and kissed Krause on the cheek, taking the opportunity to whisper
in his ear. “You love her. I can see it. Tell her.” She pulled back and stopped briefly in front of Alex, offering her new friend a compassionate smile before exiting the room.

“Pip? What’s going on?” Alex asked nervously.

“Alex, sit down,” he suggested.

“I don’t want to sit down,” Alex responded bluntly.

Krause let out a heavy sigh. “All right. Then I will.”

Cassidy rolled over and picked up her cell phone, still groggy from sleep, but eager to hear Alex’s voice. “Hey.”

“Cassidy?” the voice questioned.

“Huh?” Cassidy was caught momentarily caught off guard by the unexpected voice. “Chris?” she asked.

“Yeah….Don’t hang up,” he practically begged her.

“What do you want?” Cassidy asked. Her head was already begging to throb.

“What happened to us, Cassie?” he asked quietly.

“Are you drunk?” Cassidy asked him seriously.

“Maybe. I still want to know,” he told her.

Cassidy rubbed her eyes forcefully. “You can’t be serious,” she sighed in exhaustion.

“I am. Look at us. How did we get here?” he asked, sipping the whiskey in his hand.

“Christopher, it’s after two o’clock in the morning. What do you want me to say?” she responded.

“Did you ever love me?” he asked her. His voice was strained from the alcohol clouding his brain.

Cassidy continued moving her hand over her face in a futile attempt to wipe away her frustration. Part of her was inclined to hang up the call, but something deep within her was surfacing. The past needed to be put in the past. Her past needed to be set in the past. Her conscience appealed to her to offer the man she once shared her life with the truth if for no other
reason than to make peace with it herself. “Did I love you?” she repeated his question.

“Yeah. Did you?” he asked her again.

“I don’t know, Chris. I loved who I thought you were. I loved the idea of us. I don’t know that I ever truly was in love with you,” she confessed.

“I loved you,” he told his ex-wife.

Cassidy took in his words and accepted them at face value. For all of Christopher O’Brien’s monumental faults, Cassidy was certain he believed the words he was speaking. “I think…. if you are completely honest with yourself, Chris, you’ll find it was the idea you fell in love with; not me,” she said honestly.

“Maybe,” he admitted. A measurable pause ensued before he continued. “I never meant for you or Dylan to get hurt,” he said. Cassidy detected the tears he was beginning to shed and closed her eyes. She was at a loss for how to respond. It didn’t matter what his intentions had been. Christopher O’Brien had put himself first in every moment. He broke his commitment to their marriage more times that Cassidy dared to count. He broke his son’s trust. Even if Cassidy could forgive all of the pain he had caused in their lives; she would never forget it. “Cassie?” he called to her. Cassidy remained silent. “He really isn’t mine; is he?” the congressman asked. There was a tinge of despair in his voice, and Cassidy felt the warmth of a tear grace her cheek.

“No,” Cassidy answered.

“Probably better for him,” O’Brien said. Silence lingered for long moments before he continued. “Are you really happy?”

Cassidy closed her eyes and pictured Alex. “Yes, I am,” she said assuredly.

“Good,” he barely whispered.

“Chris,” Cassidy began, “you know it’s never too late to change.”

Christopher O’Brien took a deep breath and released it in a sad chuckle. “Take care of yourself, Cassie,” he said as he disconnected the call.

“What is going on?” Alex demanded an answer from her partner.

Jonathan Krause looked up from his seat on the small bed and inhaled a breath for courage. “Did you ever think it’s strange how we seem to be able to read each other?” he asked.

Alex shrugged. “We think alike,” she commented.

“Yeah. We do. But, didn’t you ever think that it was strange? I mean, how quickly we fell into a groove?” he asked Alex.

Alex knew it would be a lie to tell her friend that she hadn’t puzzled over their natural chemistry. She knew that her ability to anticipate Krause’s actions and his ability to understand her motivations was not something that frequently occurred between partners; at least not in such a short period. “Of course,” she admitted. “But, some things you just can’t explain, Pip.”

Jonathan Krause chuckled. “That’s what I thought too,” he hesitated before continuing. “Alex, I….”

“Jesus, Krause! Just spill it already!” Alex cried in exasperation.

“I was never close to any of my brothers. I was the oldest. We just never seemed to like the same things. John was my brother, in every way that mattered. I trusted him. When I lost him I knew I would never have another brother; not really….I never thought I would be that close to anyone else,” he said as he recalled his best friend. Krause looked directly at Alex. She was watching him closely, and his expression softened. “Until you came along,” he said honestly. Krause watched Alex’s face contort in a mixture of confusion and gratefulness. “I wondered why that was,” he mused. “Then Edmond showed me something. I didn’t know if I should believe him. Then in Stockholm, that note John left. I think he knew. He knew,” Krause said as he closed his eyes. “Viktor too...”

“Knew what?” Alex asked. “Pip, what are you so afraid to tell me?”

Krause nodded and sighed. “I was wrong. Seems I do have another brother….and a sister,” he told Alex. Krause waited for her to respond. Alex just stared blankly at her partner. He braced himself for her outburst of anger, but it never came.

Alex covered her face with her hands and took a seat beside her friend on the bed. She struggled to quell the emotions and thoughts that were spiraling like a Ferris wheel within her. Her first clear thought was that she wished Cassidy was with her now. She had no doubt in the veracity of the claim that Jonathan Krause was making. Alex grabbed the bridge of her nose and swallowed hard; another secret kept for more years than she could fathom. It pained her, and yet, in some way she felt a sense of relief. She loved the man beside her. It was something she had difficulty comprehending and accepting. Cassidy had seen it. Cassidy had implored Alex to accept what Jonathan Krause had come to mean to her; to their family.

Alex grasped Krause’s hand and spoke quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked.

Krause shook his head. “I don’t know. Part of me was afraid it wasn’t true,” he said. Alex looked at him curiously. “And, I wanted it to be,” he admitted.

Alex let a knowing chuckle pass. She was acutely aware of the loneliness that often accompanied the work she and Krause engaged in. Alex had never realized how lonely her life had become until she met Cassidy. She’d spent years viewing attachments as dangerous vulnerabilities. Loving Cassidy had taught her many things, not the least of which was that greater strength was found in loving than in solitude. “Do you doubt it now?” Alex asked Krause.

Jonathan Krause shook his head. “No.”

“I guess you really are Uncle Pip, then, huh?” Alex poked at him.

“Alex, I know this is…”

Alex tightened her hold on his hand. “Don’t. You don’t need to explain. I feel better knowing.”

“Are you still up for France?” Krause asked.

Alex nodded. More now than ever she wanted to see Edmond Callier face to face. She was tired of the secrets and the lies. She wanted answers, not cryptic clues, not fancy rhetoric; facts. “I think he owes us some explanations,” Alex said flatly. “We can’t ask our father,”

“Are you prepared for that?” Krause asked.

“If there is one thing we both know, Pip. The truth always comes to pass. Avoiding Edmond won’t change that,” she said. Krause agreed. “I assume Eleana knows?” Alex asked.

“It populated in my file on Ivanov’s database,” Krause explained.

“Pip, what is the deal with Eleana and Claire?” Alex asked cautiously.

Jonathan Krause frowned. “They were best friends.”

“Like you and John?” Alex led him to answer.

“Not exactly,” Krause quirked a brow.

“I see,” Alex reflected her understanding. “You trust her? Eleana?”

“She loves Claire, Alex. Really loves her. Always has. But, she knows who Claire is. Frankly, I think it’s why she wanted in on this life. Some part of her hopes Claire changes,” Krause said.

“Not likely,” Alex chuckled. “It’s more than that. You have feelings for her,” Alex guessed.

“I’m not in love with her,” he replied honestly.

“No, but maybe you could be,” Alex said with a pat to his shoulder. “Sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you,” she reminded him. “It takes someone else showing you the obvious.”

“Speaking from experience?” Krause asked with a grin.