Commitments (16 page)

keep-thehay-in-the-bam-and-the-dogie-will-find-his-own-wayhome approach., The subtle amusement in her voice had its way. Derek could feel himself relaxing. ' your brother?' ', J.B. has a super theory. Are you ready? I she asked. When he nodded, she briefly outlined J. B.'s plot. '&' Derek said, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. Page 56

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

"Taken over by a spirit from the earth's core. Not bad.' '. It's more than the doctors have come up with., ' this spirit would want you to keep Nicky at home?' ''m not sure. It seemed to me the spirit could do its thing just about anywhere. But J.B. votes for home., She didn't repeat what J.B. had said about head-bangers and droolers. It still hurt. ' anyone besides you in favor of institutionalization?"

"You/ she said with a lopsided smile, then took a quick breath. '

Maura. ''s Maura?' ' and friend. She wants me to write.' '

about other friends?' ''ve only discussed it with a few. They think I'm awful to even consider it. They say they don't see a problem, which is very loyal of them ... and very 160 t. Then again, Nicky still does look wonder-0 on occasion. But they don't live with him. don1t have the responsibility for his daily care. don't have to look to the future as I do.' mulled that over , then plunged in and asked nestion that had been pulling at his tongue. ' husband say about it? him, Sabrina. It's a perfect opening. Tell him ''s leaving the decision up_to me/ she said, her eyes. a?' 21 k at Me./ Id spoken quietly, but there was command in his `sed her eyes. Derek had shifted to face and his gaze probed. oes Nick know you're here?' "No/ she said softly. I", ''s a dangerous game you're playing.' She agreed with that, though her reasons had g to do with Nick. Sitting here with Derek, at him, being looked at by him, she could no er deny the attraction. Every one of the other ons she'd given for coming to see him were valid, there was another. Derek turned her on. He lit a spark in her body. He e her feel feminine, desired and desiring. ' you love your husband?'he asked. ;'Nick and I have been married for eight years/ she but her voice was shaky. ' wasn't what I asked.' Ve have a son. I supp ose it's a natural bond.' ' you love him?' "Nicky? I love him '. The father. Your husband. Do you love himv 11 don't understand why you're asking - 161 ' on, Sabrina,' he ground out. ' feel it. You feel it. There's something between us that has no business Ibeing there if you're in love with Nicholas Stone."

"I've never been unfaithful to Nick.' ,'s unfaithful, and there's unfaithful. You may never have made it with another guy since you married Nick, but you may have wanted to; and if that's the case, something's missing. He's not giving you what you need.' Tell him, Sabrina. He's all but inviting you to. Tell him! She needed space. Pushing herself from the bench, she began to walk along the edge of the visiting area. Derek was quickly by her side. For an instant held feared she was leaving then and there, and his heart had sunk to his toes. Now it was back in his chest but still not beating quite right. ' book, Sabrina. Why is it so important to you? I ' need to do something. I need to prove myself.' ' whom?, She kicked at the grass as she walked.

"Me. My family. The world.' ''t taking care of Nicky enough? '. At the end of a day or a week or a month, I have nothing to show for it. Absolutely nothing.' ' does there have to be something? Why can't there be the simple ' of knowing what you've done for Nicky?

' She gave wide berth to a picnic table that was occupied by two very large, very mean-looking men, and waited until they were well behind before speaking. ' I'm getting nowhere with him. I'm marking time, just like you. You can look forward to freedom, revenge, justice or whatever. I need something to look forward to, too. I need to achieve something.' 162 "a book?' se it's what I know. it, s what I was raised on. 4 1 do best.' family pressuring you to write?' they think less of you because you aren't writing you're trying to Prove somethin&@ head came up. The eyes that caught his glittered ,, but she kept on walking. ', I'm trying e something. Everyone in the world is trying to something. In my case it happens that I need to my basic worth. Writing is my best shot at that. only knows I haven't been able to do it Page 57

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

any other -Oa/ Derek said, grabbing her arm and pulling, to a halt. '

think you're a failurev t's exactly what I think.' .,That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! My Lord, YOU had a full-length book published before were twenty-three. Plus articles - how many were twenty?

Twenty-one? And we're not talking by-night magazines here. We're talking The Atlan-Esquire, Rolling Stone.' She eyed him warily. 11 didn't tell you about those.' ', because you're modest. I had to ferret out all e juicy little facts after I left you that day in New ork. I went out, bought your book and read it cover cover. Same with most of the articles., Her heart skipped a beat, then sped. ' why? There was no need after I'd refused to be interviewed.' ' had a need/ he bit out with the anger she'd abandoned. 11 had to know because you intrigued me. A ",YOU pricked my conscience. You made me think about 163 things I hadn't thought about in years - like weighi,19 and balancing the overall good of a story with its effects on its subjects-More personally, you made me ask myself where I was going in life and what 1 wanted., '

You find any answers?, ' was thinking about it real hard when I got a call from a guy who said he had some vital information for me, and the next thing I knew the guy was dead and the COPI we're taking a Smoking gun from my hand. No, 1 didn't find any answers, and now the issues are more clouded than ever-You want to write a book about me? How can you know me when I don't know myself?, .'maybe we can both learn something from the wxitmg. It's been known to happen. I ask questions a certain Way, You look at something differently than You have ... it could work.

"No.' ''re being stubborn., ' right. I She started walking again, this time in the general direction of the gate. ' I guess there isn't any point in my coming again., ' that/ Derek said angrily, is even dumber than what you said before., Grabbing her wrist, he had her behind a nearby tree before she could anticipate the move. He backed her to the wide trunk, Pinning her hands to the bark at her shoulders. His lower body pressed hotly. ' want to see me. I want to see you.

"Derek, I - '.' He shifted against her, seeking to enhance the feeling of her curves against him. His voice was grittiy and low. '

fit, Sabrina. I don't know how or 164 we fit. it shouldn't be. The whole thing's We're night and day, good and bad, but we fit.' -eyes were large, begging his for release. about it before you come again.' it - /

0, 111 come again. You will.' He lowered his head was nuzzling her cheek. 11 want to touch you, and kiss you.' He moved again. -She felt the shift breasts, felt the tingle that the intimate brush of st had caused, and lower, felt the curling heat t by the press of his hips. And she felt afraid. trek, I can't think, I she gasped. have -to. You have to decide Mcgill!'came a shout from the side. it, Derek leaned in even closer. His mouth less than an inch from hers. Vork it out, Sabrina. it out in your mind, because when you come here,, I'm going to kiss you." He released her , which remained against the bark as though'd been nailed, and slid his own upward from her t. ' are ways to make love that can be done t here, right here in the yard. I'm hungry, Sabrina.

*ve stirred it up. I don't give. a damn about your band or anyone else who says it's wrong. It's not Maybe crazy, maybe hopeless, but not wrong.' J ''s it, Mcgill/ called the guard who was closing on them. He wasn't fat like Frank, but he was big burly and every bit as unfriendly. ' on/ Derek snarled, then lowered his voice a '

you hear me, Sabrina?' gain. She hurried the words out on a shaky breath. ' shouldn't be saying these things, Derek, shouldn't be inking thern.' ' not, if it's what I feel? 165 $ecause I don't know if I "Okay, Mcgill/the guard said. He was practically or, top of them. Page 58

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

7ime to get back.' Derek raised his head a bit and, without MAdingg hiss eyesifrom Sabrina, told the guard, ''m saying good. bye. ' the looks of it, You've already said good-bye. Sorry, miss, but its-time to leave.' She couldn't move. Derek wasn't budging. ', please/ she whispered. `111ink about it, Sabrina. Think about all of it., ', you're asking for trouble.' q, ve committed murder, Sabrina. I'm perfectly capable Of making love to another man's wife. I She darted glances at the guard as she pushed urgently at Derek's chest. ', Derek/ she pleaded, '?' With his hands flat on the tree at either side of her head, he levered himself several inches back. '

Thursday. Same time, same place.' ' don, t know ..., $e here, I he commanded then gave a rough shrug t dislodge the hand that the'guard had clamped on 0 his arm. Holding his shoulders straight, he deliberately stepped back, then watched as Sabrina turned and half walked, half ran to the gate.

Chapter 7.

later, Derek met with his lawyer. David was

in his mid-forties, with a wife, two an office in Manhattan, a house in Westchesreputation for being a quiet-spoken advocate grasp of the law, a keen courtroom instinct ' with jurors. The two men had met when 1ad sought out a criminal-law expert for one of Outside Insight stories, and they'd quickly friends. had taken Derek's conviction personally. "I'm

'political enough/ he told Derek in frustration one of those first post-sentencing visits. 11 don't the weight, damn it.' did everything you could have done., should have played dirty., can't. That's why I hired you. You have a reputation.' ? No, friend, you've g9t it wrong. I'm the on the sterling. I'm a black lawyer in a white In, which is just fine when my clients are black already have that strike against them, but it sure't do you no good.'He ended with the ethnic drawl t he could put on or take off - and indeed, it came In the next breath. "This case stinks. One too many just haven't made sense. We'll get them on eai, Derek. So help me, we'll do it.' But they didn't. One appeal after another filed in @Pne court after another - all denied. It was the latest V,.denial that had brought David to Parkersville. 167 onthe sentence stands/ he said, dropping his briefcase the table in the small, private room reserved lawyer-client visits. q was hoping to get it reduced, but the bastards weren't buying. I'm sorry.' Derek was leaning against the wall. He hadn't had to hear the words: one look at his friend's face had told him they'd lost. He wasn't surprised. ''t sweat it, Dave. We figured as much.' He pushed off from the wall, smirking cynically as he knelt down and peered under the table. '

you set out to screw someone, you don't stop in the middle, do you?" Spotting the telltale wire, he nodded toward David, who was already in the process of removing a minirecorder froni his case. ', I'm an the home stretch - or I will be, assuming nothing happens between now and November. David turned on the recorder, which, thanks to his fourteen-year-old son, spewed out a raucous heavymetal sound. Setting it on the seat of the chair no more than twelve inches from the bug, he moved to join Derek against the wall. ''s the feel here?'he asked in a low voice. "Any hint of trouble?, Derek gave a noncommittal shrug.

"The guards are breathing down my neck. They watch every move I make. But I don't think they'll be the problem. I keep to myself. I don't give them trouble. In their own warped way they respect that. It's the other guys who scare me.1 "Like the two in the shower?'David asked, glancing briefly at the fading scar on Derek's neck. ' was no accident. They were set up to involve me in their fight.' ' they aiming to kill?

"Does rain fallp 168 they disciplined? did a day in the hole, bu't word Page 59

Barbara Delinsky - Commitments

has it that they for lunch, and when you get anything other sbit in there, it means you've got an in.' His voice even more. ' really thought Greer had chalked' At this point, anything else he tries to do to has to be a risk to him. The more people he ves, the riskier it gets. Somewhere, sometime, e is going to slip up and squeal.' avid was more cautious. ''s a powerful man, He gets things done. And he keeps his own out of the till. No direct contact. No fingermy guess is that if you ever did manage to get a er, the squealer wouldn't know who in the hell I Greer was. is why I have to get the files/ Derek ttered. @@`HMMV '

really is eyeing the Senate, isn't he?, ' that way.' q keep reading it in the papers, but, God, I find it to believe.' Vhy so? The man's a natural. He's a media expert. "s suave, good-looking. At sixty, he's not too old, too young. He's built himself an empire from the d floor up, and all that began even before he took @@"'over the network. He's the consummate executive, the bodunent of the American Dream, and if you think ew Yorkers won't cat him up, think again.' ' he can make it?

"You bet. The election's still a year and a half off, but - barring a catastrophe - he can make it. He has the money, the power and the organization. It'd be a damn shame if he wins.' Derek had no intention of letting that happen. The 169 Ballantine files were out there, and somehow or other they had to implicate Noel Greer. It was the only thing Derek had been able to come up with after months and months of racking his brain. The Ballantine files had to be the key. ' lot can happen in a year and a half/he murmured, His mind skipped ahead, picturing some of the possibilities, and suddenly he wasn't thinking of Noel Greer.

"David, have you ever heard of a man named Nicholas Stone?' ''m not deaf, dumb and blind. Of course I've heard of Nicholas Stone. There's another natural for you. He's got the golden touch. Has the smarts and the style. Tax laws change and investors panic. Not Stone. He's cool."

"I know his wife,' Derek tossed out quietly. He wasn't quite sure why he did it. Maybe saying it aloud would make it more real. More likely, he wanted David's reaction; he trusted and respected the man as he did few others. ' bad about that, isn't it?' David tossed back, taking Derek by surprise. He'd been under the impression that the child's problems had been kept under wraps. ''s hard on her. I don't know about ', though. From what I understand, he distances himself from the whole thing.' ' that's why it happened.' '. The boy isn't emotionally disturbed. He's brain-damaged., David frowned. ' whaw Vicky is brain-damaged.' ' is Nicky?' Derek frowned too. ''s son. Nick's son.' ' didn't know they had a son., 170 11too what's bad"?' divorce. They, re getting divorced., before k heard the words, but it was a minute Unk in, and then he went very still. ' do you that?? it in the paper. It's the kind of gossip society sts love, and since I've always wanted. to make ty page, - his eyes danced - '