Complete Works, Volume I (10 page)

GOLDBERG
. She must be somewhere.

MCCANN
. She's not here.

GOLDBERG
(
moving downstage, left
). She must be.

MCCANN
. She's gone.

MCCANN
finds the torch on the floor, shines it on the table and
STANLEY
.
LULU
is lying spread-eagled on the table,
STANLEY
bent over her.
STANLEY
,
as soon as the torchlight hits him, begins to giggle.
GOLDBERG
and
MCCANN
move towards him. He backs, giggling, the torch on his face. They follow him upstage, left. He backs against the hatch, giggling. The torch draws closer. His giggle rises and grows as he
flattens himself against the wall. Their figures converge upon him.

Curtain

Act Three

The next morning,
PETEY
enters, left, with a newspaper and sits at the table. He begins to read.
MEG’S
voice comes through the kitchen hatch.

MEG
. Is that you, Stan? (
Pause.
) Stanny?

PETEY
. Yes?

MEG
. Is that you?

PETEY
. It's me.

MEG
(
appearing at the hatch
). Oh, it's you. I've run out of cornflakes.

PETEY
. Well, what else have you got?

MEG
. Nothing.

PETEY
. Nothing?

MEG
. Just a minute. (
She leaves the hatch and enters by the kitchen door.
) You got your paper?

PETEY
. Yes.

MEG
. Is it good?

PETEY
. Not bad.

MEG
. The two gentlemen had the last of the fry this morning.

PETEY
. Oh, did they?

MEG
. There's some tea in the pot though. (
She pours tea for him.
) I'm going out shopping in a minute. Get you something nice. I've got a splitting headache.

PETEY
(
reading
). You slept like a log last night.

MEG
. Did I?

PETEY
. Dead out.

MEG
. I must have been tired. (
She looks about the room and sees the broken drum in the fireplace.
) Oh, look. (
She rises and picks it up.
) The drum's broken. (
PETEY
looks up.
) Why is it broken?

PETEY
. I don't know.

She hits it with her hand.

MEG
. It still makes a noise.

PETEY
. You can always get another one.

MEG
(
sadly
). It was probably broken in the party. I don't remember it being broken though, in the party. (
She puts it down.
) What a shame.

PETEY
. You can always get another one, Meg.

MEG
. Well, at least he did have it on his birthday, didn't he? Like I wanted him to.

PETEY
(
reading
). Yes.

MEG
. Have you seen him down yet? (
PETEY
does not answer.
) Petey.

PETEY
. What?

MEG
. Have you seen him down?

PETEY
. Who?

MEG
. Stanley.

PETEY
. No.

MEG
. Nor have I. That boy should be up. He's late for his breakfast.

PETEY
. There isn't any breakfast.

MEG
. Yes, but he doesn't know that. I'm going to call him.

PETEY
(
quickly
). No, don't do that, Meg. Let him sleep.

MEG
. But you say he stays in bed too much.

PETEY
. Let him sleep . . . this morning. Leave him.

MEG
. I've been up once, with his cup of tea. But Mr McCann opened the door. He said they were talking. He said he'd made him one. He must have been up early. I don't know what they were talking about. I was surprised. Because Stanley's usually fast asleep when I wake him. But he wasn't this morning. I heard him talking. (
Pause.
) Do you think they know each other? I think they're old friends. Stanley had a lot of friends. I know he did. (
Pause.
) I didn't give him his tea. He'd already had one. I came down again
and went on with my work. Then, after a bit, they came down to breakfast. Stanley must have gone to sleep again.

Pause.

PETEY
. When are you going to do your shopping, Meg?

MEG
. Yes, I must. (
Collecting the bag.
) I've got a rotten headache. (
She goes to the back door, stops suddenly and turns.
) Did you see what's outside this morning?

PETEY
. What?

MEG
. That big car.

PETEY
. Yes.

MEG
. It wasn't there yesterday. Did you . . . did you have a look inside it?

PETEY
. I had a peep.

MEG
(
coming down tensely, and whispering
). Is there anything in it?

PETEY
. In it?

MEG
. Yes.

PETEY
. What do you mean, in it?

MEG
. Inside it.

PETEY
. What sort of thing?

MEG
. Well . . . I mean . . . is there . . . is there a wheelbarrow in it?

PETEY
. A wheelbarrow?

MEG
. Yes.

PETEY
. I didn't see one.

MEG
. You didn't? Are you sure?

PETEY
. What would Mr Goldberg want with a wheelbarrow?

MEG
. Mr Goldberg?

PETEY
. It's his car.

MEG
(
relieved
). His car? Oh, I didn't know it was his car.

PETEY
. Of course it's his car.

MEG
. Oh, I feel better.

PETEY
. What are you on about?

MEG
. Oh, I do feel better.

PETEY
. You go and get a bit of air.

MEG
. Yes, I will. I will. I'll go and get the shopping. (
She goes towards the back door. A door slams upstairs. She turns.
) It's Stanley! He's coming down—what am I going to do about his breakfast? (
She rushes into the kitchen.
) Petey, what shall I give him? (
She looks through the hatch.
) There's no cornflakes. (
They both gaze at the door. Enter
GOLDBERG
.
He halts at the door, as he meets their gaze, then smiles.
)

GOLDBERG
. A reception committee!

MEG
. Oh, I thought it was Stanley.

GOLDBERG
. You find a resemblance?

MEG
. Oh no. You look quite different.

GOLDBERG
(
coming into the room
). Different build, of course.

MEG
(
entering from the kitchen
). I thought he was coming down for his breakfast. He hasn't had his breakfast yet.

GOLDBERG
. Your wife makes a very nice cup of tea, Mr Boles, you know that?

PETEY
. Yes, she does sometimes. Sometimes she forgets.

MEG
. Is he coming down?

GOLDBERG
. Down? Of course he's coming down. On a lovely sunny day like this he shouldn't come down? He'll be up and about in next to no time. (
He sits at the table.
) And what a breakfast he's going to get.

MEG
. Mr Goldberg.

GOLDBERG
. Yes?

MEG
. I didn't know that was your car outside.

GOLDBERG
. You like it?

MEG
. Are you going to go for a ride?

GOLDBERG
(
to
PETEY
). A smart car, eh?

PETEY
. Nice shine on it all right

GOLDBERG
. What is old is good, take my tip. There's room there. Room in the front, and room in the back. (
He strokes the teapot.
) The pot's hot. More tea, Mr Boles?

PETEY
. No thanks.

GOLDBERG
(
pouring tea
). That car? That car's never let me
down.

MEG
. Are you going to go for a ride?

GOLDBERG
does not answer, drinks his tea.

MEG
. Well, I'd better be off now. (
She moves to the back door, and turns.
) Petey, when Stanley comes down. . . .

PETEY
. Yes?

MEG
. Tell him I won't be long.

PETEY
. I'll tell him.

MEG
(
vaguely
). I won't be long. (
She exits.
)

GOLDBERG
(
sipping his tea
). A good woman. A charming woman. My mother was the same. My wife was identical.

PETEY
. How is he this morning?

GOLDBERG
. Who?

PETEY
. Stanley. Is he any better?

GOLDBERG
(
a little uncertainly
). Oh . . . a little better, I think, a little better. Of course, I'm not really qualified to say, Mr Boles. I mean, I haven't got the . . . the qualifications. The best thing would be if someone with the proper . . . mnn . . . qualifications . . . was to have a look at him. Someone with a few letters after his name. It makes all the difference.

PETEY
. Yes.

GOLDBERG
. Anyway, Dermot's with him at the moment. He's . . . keeping him company.

PETEY
. Dermot?

GOLDBERG
. Yes.

PETEY
. It's a terrible thing.

GOLDBERG
(
sighs
). Yes. The birthday celebration was too much

for him.

PETEY
. What came over him?

GOLDBERG
(
sharply
). What came over him? Breakdown, Mr Boles. Pure and simple. Nervous breakdown.

PETEY
. But what brought it on so suddenly?

GOLDBERG
(
rising, and moving upstage
). Well, Mr Boles, it can
happen in all sorts of ways. A friend of mine was telling me about it only the other day. We'd both been concerned with another case—not entirely similar, of course, but . . . quite alike, quite alike. (
He pauses.
) Anyway, he was telling me, you see, this friend of mine, that sometimes it happens gradual—day by day it grows and grows and grows . . . day by day. And then other times it happens all at once. Poof! Like that! The nerves break. There's no guarantee how it's going to happen, but with certain people . . . it's a foregone conclusion.

PETEY
. Really?

GOLDBERG
. Yes. This friend of mine—he was telling me about it—only the other day. (
He stands uneasily for a moment, then brings out a cigarette case and takes a cigarette.
) Have an Abdullah.

PETEY
. No, no, I don't take them.

GOLDBERG
. Once in a while I treat myself to a cigarette. An Abdullah, perhaps, or a . . . (
He snaps his fingers.
)

PETEY
. What a night, (
GOLDBERG
lights his cigarette with a lighter.
) Came in the front door and all the lights were out. Put a shilling in the slot, came in here and the party was over.

GOLDBERG
(
coming downstage
). You put a shilling in the slot?

PETEY
. Yes.

GOLDBERG
. And the lights came on.

PETEY
. Yes, then I came in here.

GOLDBERG
(
with a short laugh
). I could have sworn it was a fuse.

PETEY
(
continuing
). There was dead silence. Couldn't hear a thing. So I went upstairs and your friend—Dermot—met me on the landing. And he told me.

GOLDBERG
(
sharply
). Who?

PETEY
. Your friend—Dermot.

GOLDBERG
(
heavily
). Dermot. Yes. (
He sits.
)

PETEY
. They get over it sometimes though, don't they? I mean, they can recover from it, can't they?

GOLDBERG
. Recover? Yes, sometimes they recover, in one way or another.

PETEY
. I mean, he might have recovered by now, mightn't he?

GOLDBERG
. It's conceivable. Conceivable.

PETEY
rises and picks up the teapot and cup.

PETEY
. Well, if he's no better by lunchtime I'll go and get hold of a doctor.

GOLDBERG
(
briskly
). It's all taken care of, Mr Boles. Don't worry yourself.

PETEY
(
dubiously
). What do you mean? (
Enter
MCCANN
with two suitcases.
) All packed up?

PETEY
takes the teapot and cups into the kitchen.
MCCANN
crosses left and puts down the suitcases. He goes up to the window and looks out.