Confessions (4 page)

It was hard to concentrate at work.  All she could picture and think about was the website she had seen on Billy’s laptop along with him and the ribbons.  She decided the only way she could bring it up was to try a little something new in bed and see how he reacted.  It wouldn’t be anything major at all, just a little hint in that direction to see if he liked it. 

When she got off work, she picked up some Chinese food and took it the apartment to find he was already home.  He was sitting around in just his boxers and a T-shirt, turning to smile widely at her when she walked through the door holding a bag with their dinner.

“It’s so amazing to see you walk in at the end of the day,” he chirped as he grabbed dishes and forks for them.  They went to the table and served the food onto the plates, eating in silence with only the low murmuring of someone talking on the television reaching their ears.  She was too wrapped up in her thoughts to really talk and he had never been afraid of enjoying a little silence. 

She picked up their dishes and placed them in the sink as he took care of putting away leftovers and throwing away the trash.  Billy went to sit on the couch and Aria followed, grabbing the control and muting the television.  He looked up at her curiously.

“I want to try something.” She said in a low, seductive voice.

He swallowed hard and nodded.  She lowered herself onto his lap and pulled him into a deep kiss, excited about what she was about to do.  In the back of her mind she knew it wasn’t a big deal, it was more like an experiment to see how he might react.  She was nervous because she didn’t want him to have a negative reaction.  She also didn’t want to push his boundaries, but she would ask for consent the entire time, making sure he was okay with everything. 

She stood up after a couple minutes and pulled him up by his hands so he was standing right in front of her. 

She leaned forward and whispered, “I want to try something. Is that okay?”  He nodded.  “If you don’t want to, just stop me.”  He pulled back to look into her eyes and she could see a million questions building up in his mind.  “It’s nothing major, just a little different.”  He nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. 

She slid her hands right under the hem of his shirt and started to slowly pull it up, revealing a smooth expanse of golden tanned skin as she went along.  They didn’t say a word but only stared right into each other’s eyes as she pulled his shirt up to his shoulders where he raised his arms straight, allowing her to pull the shirt off over his head. 

She rolled it back and down along his arms, which he had dropped back behind him, and stopped when the shirt was rolled around his wrists.  She held onto his wrists tightly with both hands over the fabric of the shirt, further restricting his movement. That’s when he understood.  Now he knew what she wanted to try.

  She breathed out as her eyes followed her index finger sliding up in a line along his arm until she reached his shoulder. She leaned in and kissed his skin along the line of his collarbone, up his neck, until she reached his lips and kissed him firmly. Taking a step back, she took off her shirt and pants, now standing in front of him in only her bra and panties. 

She quickly unclasped her bra and tossed it off to the side.  She pushed him roughly down on the couch with his hands still loosely restrained behind his back before climbing on top and straddling him.  She placed herself lower on his lap so she could reach down and pull his hard cock out of the opening in his boxers. 

She stroked it a couple times before moving up on his lap so the crotch of her panties would rub against him, making him to groan.  She gripped his upper arms tightly and rubbed against him, feeling herself get wet from the friction. 

Though she wanted to do more and hold out longer, she couldn’t any more.  Even just this slight taste of something she had always wanted was enough to bring her so close to the edge she could barely stand it.  She stood up and took off her panties, wasting no time in straddling him again and lowering herself so his entire cock slid into her. 

He threw his head back and groaned as she gripped his shoulder tightly.  She moved her body up and down and he soon began to thrust his hips upward in rhythm of her movement.  When he tried moving his hands out of the loose restraint to grab onto her, she pressed firmly down on his arms to prevent it. 

With a stern look on her face she shook her head and he looked up at her, dazed but fascinated.  She moved her body up and down faster and faster until her cries of orgasm filled the apartment. She didn’t stop until she felt him cum. She stood up and pulled him forward by his shoulders to remove the shirt that had been keeping his wrists together.  She placed it in his hands and told him to clean up.  He did so with such obedience she was surprised but didn’t show it. 

After he finished, she softened her gaze and quietly took the shirt from him to throw it into the hamper with the other dirty clothes.  She walked back over to the couch and lowered herself to sit on his lap, draping her arms around her neck and looking into his eyes with a sweet expression.  She was happy.  She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss, their lips just brushing.

“Was that okay?”  She pulled back slightly and looked at him with eyes that said she sincerely hoped it was okay.  It was not because she wanted to do it again and go further than that, much further; it was because she wanted him to feel comfortable and have enjoyed it at least as much as she did. 

He nodded and smiled.  “Yes,” he said quietly as he stretched his neck forward to kiss her on the cheek. 

His hands came up to grab onto her waist as he continued to shower her cheek with gentle kisses.  She hummed out a sigh, feeling content. 

“I really enjoyed it,” he confessed as he pulled back to meet her gaze.  “I have to admit I’m still surprised.”

“I know,” she admitted. 

She heaved a sigh as she debated whether or not to tell him what she had seen on his laptop screen.  She opted against it, at least for the time being, but did think they should talk more about this newest interaction.  If she wanted to keep going she needed to know where he stood with it all. 

It needed to be straightforward rather than experimental like it was tonight.  This had just been for her to see if he seemed open to the idea and he certainly did.  What made the excitement build even more for her was the fact that he had just taken on the submissive role so naturally.  Every time she fantasized about engaging in these kinds of activities she always imagined being in control.  She was not opposed to trying a switch, but she felt from deep within she would never enjoy it nearly as much as being the dominant one. 

“Honestly,” she started, but stopped as the feeling of being nervous about addressing this topic openly with him welled up in her again.  She tried to push it down by reassuring he would be open to it.  Even if he didn’t want to pursue it and explore, he would not judge her for having these urges.

At this moment she wondered why she ever thought he would have a negative reaction.  He had never been that kind of man with her or anybody.  She trusted him and had to believe she could be honest about what she wanted. She realized that was a major component of the relationship.  She had to be able to say what she felt, thought, needed, and wanted without feeling afraid.  She had never felt any anxiety about this until recently regarding the concerns about her relationship, but she now had a better grasp of what those concerns were.  If she was right, opening up about this desire and exploring it with him would settle the worries that had been bothering her lately. 

“Honestly,” she repeated, “I’ve wanted to do something like that for some time now.”  She held her breath, waiting for him to say something.  She didn’t want to continue until she gauged his initial reaction.  She wanted to weigh her words and approach this in the best way.  This was the most nervous she had ever been about anything in her relationship. 

“Really?”  He seemed surprised, but that was to be expected.  She nodded.  He stroked her cheek and said, “Well, I really enjoyed it.  Is there more you’ve been wanting for some time now?”

This was it.  He was handing her the reigns and giving her the perfect opportunity to tell him about it all.  She had never been with a man that made her feel comfortable enough to do this. She had always been intrigued by it; she had always found it sexy and thought it would bring a different and powerful level of intimacy into the relationship but had never been with the right person for it.  This was about trust.

“Yes,” she admitted.  “I’ve always wanted to try things like we did tonight but stuff that takes it further.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like BDSM,” she blurted out.  She shut her mouth and looked right at him as a bolt of nervous electricity trailed down her back.  His eyes widened a little but it was purely out of surprise and likely from not expecting her to just say what she wanted. 

“Hmm,” he said as his eyes shifted and looked around the room.  He met her gaze again and asked, “Why hadn’t you said anything before?”

“I was nervous.  I was worried.  It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just not really any easy thing to come out and say.”

He nodded in understanding.  “Well,” he told her, “If we’re being honest here, I’ve been intrigued by it for some time now.” 

She smiled and her eyes widened in excitement.  This had been what she hoped would be the case ever since she happened upon the website on his laptop.  She could barely contain her excitement. She was actually talking about something important to her, something she had always wanted to try with the right person.  And now she had finally found him. 

To make it all the better, he
wanted
to try it as well.  It was not just to please her; it was not just something he would be open to trying and seeing how it went. He was actually interested in it out of his own accord. She hugged him tightly, wanting to feel as much of his body against hers as she could. 

“I’m so relieved,” she told him, the sound of her voice muffled because her mouth was pressed against his shoulder. 

He stroked up and down her back and she felt herself getting drowsy.  As much as she wanted to continue the conversation, she didn’t know how much longer she could stay awake.  It would be best to talk about this at length when they were both fully alert. 

“Let’s go to bed,” she suggested as she pulled her face away from his shoulder.  He nodded and, much to her surprise, stood up while holding her in his arms.  He carried her over to the bed and set her down on her side, kneeling down to brush her hair off her forehead and give her a kiss.  He looked into her eyes for a bit before leaning in for a soft, lingering kiss. 

“Goodnight,” he whispered before standing up and walking out into the living room.  She could hear him making sure everything was locked up and in order before he turned out the lights and returned to the room, letting his body fall heavily onto the bed next to her.  She reached out and held his hand just as her eyes shut and she fell asleep. 

Aria woke up the following morning feeling refreshed and ready for the day despite having gotten less sleep than usual the previous night due to her successful experiment, as she liked to fondly think of it, with Billy.  He had already left for work for an early morning staff meeting. 

She picked up her phone and sent him a simple text asking if he wasn’t feeling too tired before she rolled off the bed and stretched. 

She went into the shower and sped through, toweling herself off before brushing her teeth and moving on to do her hair.  Her phone buzzed with a text message from Billy. 

Not at all ;-).
  She smiled and sent him a wink back, setting her phone down on the nightstand as she pulled out an outfit from her closet.  She looked at the clock and was happy to see she had time for a nice, relaxing breakfast while looking through the morning’s headlines.  She rarely had enough time for that, but today was off to a great start.

She got home in a great mood, happy to walk in and see Billy in the kitchen almost done making dinner for the two of them. 

“I love that you cook,” she said as she placed her keys on the hook by the door.  “And I cook well,” he said happily.  She nodded in agreement before walking off to the bedroom to drop her things and change into more comfortable clothing fit to lounge around in.  She settle on shorts and a tank, walking back out to of the kitchen just as Billy was serving the food and placing the dishes on the table.  She poured a glass of water for each and joined him. 

They ate dinner, taking turns talking about their day.  They were in great spirits.  After they had finished dinner and cleaned up they sat on the couch and looked at each other, neither moving to turn on the television.  It was as if they were both perfectly in tune and completely aware of the pending conversation.  They both
wanted
to have the conversation.  Despite their comfort and openness it was a bit awkward to just start talking and break the ice. 

Aria moved closer to Billy on the couch, turned her body to face him, and placed her hand on his knee.  She took the plunge by deciding to initiate the conversation.

“So, we kind of have more to talk about after last night,” she began.  He nodded, but didn’t respond.  “You mentioned you’ve been intrigued for some time so I was curious what parts of BDSM you’re specifically interested in?”  This felt awkward. It all sounded so formal, like they were in some sort of business meeting discussing the details of a transaction.  The truth was Aria had absolutely no idea how to navigate this discussion and she assumed Billy didn’t have a clue either.  He was hesitant to respond. 

“Just a few things,” he said vaguely. 

She could tell he was holding back so she cupped his cheek and said, “You can tell me.  I want to know.”  He pressed his lips together in a thin line and nodded. 

“Light bondage, control, maybe some pain…that’s what interests me a lot.” 

She nodded and thought of his answer.  Those were the aspects she wanted to engage in the most as well, but she wondered what he meant by it.  Specifically, she wondered if he wanted to experience it done on him or if he wanted to do it to her.  This was the question she had been anticipating knowing the answer to.  It seemed surreal how compatible they had turned out to be when it came to this and she wondered how far that would go. 

“When you say those are the things that interest you, do you mean you want to do them or have them done to you?”

“To be honest,” he responded, “I want both, but I’ve leaned more toward having it done to me than anything.  I’d like to do it once just to know what it’s like to be on the other end, you know?  And then go from there.” 

Aria found her confidence anchoring itself in her after this response.  She couldn’t properly express her joy and excitement at the major turn of events.  It was a completely accidental discovery, but she couldn’t have imagined ending up with this conversation.  It was almost as if they had looked for each other with these desires in mind. 

She leaned in closer to him and said, “That’s great because I’ve always wanted to dominate.” 

His eyes lit up and she felt him grip her waist tightly in excitement. She leaned in and kissed him softly.  Though she had intended for it to just be a brief kiss, he pressed into it. She could feel the passion building up.  As much as she wanted to continue the kiss and see where it lead she knew this was a conversation they should wrap up first.  She pulled back and looked at him, seeing the same excitement she felt reflected in the sparkle of his eyes.  She could also see them darkening with lust.  It was hard to resist giving in to the urge so she willed herself to get off his lap and sit on the coffee table across him. 

“Safe word,” she said simply.

“Right,” he said.  His eyes shifted around and she noticed he glanced quickly down at the crotch of his pants.  She looked and saw he had a noticeable bulge pressing against his thigh.  She swallowed because the ability to resist falling into the passion she had felt when kissing him had instantly become a lot harder. 

“You should choose your own,” she pointed out.  She placed her hands flat on the surface of the table and looked at him intently, waiting for him to choose.  She could see the gears in his mind turning. 

“How about ‘lucky’”?  He looked at her with a small smirk playing along the corners of his mouth.   

“I like it,” she said.  She tapped her finger on her lips and said, “I actually like it. I’ll use it as my safe word as well.”

“Great,” he said in a low, husky voice as if he were trying to seduce her.  Not that he really needed to try, especially not at this point.  She gulped again and did her best shake away the scenes playing out in her mind.  She could get to those at a later time. 
They
could get to those at a later time because such thoughts were no longer fated to remain private fantasies of hers. 

He tilted his head and bit the corner of his lower lip, looking past her at nothing in particular.  He was thinking about their conversation and the terms they were setting. 

“I think for me, I’ll discover my boundaries as we go along.  I have some boundaries, like no bodily fluids aside from spit and, you know.”  He winked at her when he said that in a rather absurd way and they both burst out laughing.  It was the first time they had laughed since the conversation began and it did a lot to alleviate the tension.  It wasn’t a bad tension between them, it was just due to the nature of the conversation and the way Aria had started conducting it.  The atmosphere felt less like a stuffy business meeting now, something they were both grateful for.

“Really though, I also don’t want to bleed.  Dish out the pain with levels, you know.  Don’t just start smacking me with a shovel right away or something.”

“Oh my
goodness
,” Aria laughed.  She made a movement as if to smack him playfully on the arm but didn’t. 

“Hey, there you go!”  He laughed and unexpectedly grabbed her by the wrists, pulling her forward so she fell onto him.  He held her tightly against him and kissed her deeply. 

“It doesn’t always need to be like that though,” he told her. 

She nodded, “I know.  I agree.”

He loosened his hold on her as she stood up.  She looked at the clock and noticed it was getting late.  Although she wanted to be with him more, she knew they should try to get some sleep.  She stretched and unwittingly exposed a sliver of her stomach as her shirt went up.  As she brought her arms down she felt something wet and warm glide across the expanse of smooth skin.

It was Billy, who had leaned forward and run his tongue along her skin.  She let out a quivered breath and just stood there.  He hooked his fingers onto the waistband of her shorts and pulled her forward, his lips meeting the smooth skin of her abdomen. His kisses trailed upward, slipping his hands under her shirt and pushing it up as his lips continued making a path up higher and higher. 

She moaned softly when his mouth closed around her nipple and gave a suck before his tongue traced a circle around the hardened nub.  He stood up and pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it onto the couch before pulling her body against his and kissing her insistently. 

Guess we won’t be getting more sleep tonight after all
, she thought though she wasn’t at all unhappy with the reason for it. 

She pushed her hips outward to rub against his bulge, the feeling causing both of them to moan.  She grabbed his shoulders and roughly shoved him back down to sit on the couch.  She took off her shorts and panties before bending over to undo his pants.  She slipped them down, along with his boxers, to his ankles and climbed on top of him.  She wasted no time positioning herself over him, grabbing the base of his shaft and lowering her body until he was completely inside her.  She moved her hips up and down and in just a few minutes, he had already reached climax. He clutched at her hips and thrust upward into her. When he finished, she had an unhappy look on her face.  It was a look of disappointment.  It was a look that suggested he needed to do something quickly to rectify the situation.

“You didn’t orgasm?” He asked, noticing her look of disappointment.

  She shook her head as she leaned forward and whispered sternly, “Make it happen.” 

Immediately he followed her command, laying her out on the couch and spreading her legs before positioning himself between them. His head dipped down between her thighs. Just from the feel of his hot breath on her flesh made her quiver. The tip of his tongue lick from the very bottom of her wet slit up to just below her clit. She let out a loud breath she had been holding. 

He looked up and his eyes met her gaze.  She could see the same desire she felt echoed back to her in his dark eyes, his head lowering back down to her aching slit slowly.  She moaned out, eyes clamping shut when she felt his tongue delve right into her. He slid it deep into her, as deep as he could go by shoving his face against her flesh.  She raised her hips and gripped the edge of the couch, crying out in pleasure when she felt vibrations from him groaning with his tongue still inside her. 

Her mind went entirely blank, except allowing her body to completely enjoy the feeling of his skillful tongue inside her. His fingers ran up her thigh and stroked her right above her clit.

The need in her body intensified, building more and more until he slipped his tongue out of her and swiped upward with the tip of it until he flicked her clit.  She gasped as her body shook with mounting pleasure, her eyes shut so tight she could see stars and hands gripping the couch so hard her knuckles had turned white as paper.  Her hips bucked up against his face and her pelvic muscles contracted like mad as she felt the orgasm slam into her.  After catching her breath, she stroked his hair and pet him. 

“Good job,” she said as he lifted his head to look at her.  He smiled and she bent her legs at the knee, swinging them over the couch before standing up.  She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. 

“I’ll be quick,” she called out.

She lathered and shampooed herself as quickly as possible, stepping out and toweling herself dry.  She still felt slightly weak from the orgasm she just had, but it was perfect to allow her to slip easily into a deep sleep.  She walked out and kissed Billy good night before heading to the bedroom and laying down in bed, still naked.  The shower turned on in the other room as she closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep with a smile on her face.