Conklin's Blueprints (42 page)

“Becca, you have so much to offer.  Stop selling yourself short,” Gage said meaningfully.

I laid my head on his shoulder, trying not to lose the little sanity I had left in me.

I felt Gage move his head towards the second story.  “That’s him, isn’t it?” he said, lowering his hand on my waist so it was just above my behind, pulling me closer to him.  I pulled back and followed his line of sight, then quickly turned my head the other way. 

“Yes,” I whispered.  He must have left the doll exhibit and headed up to the solitary.

Gage smiled and rubbed his hand over the fabric on my lower back up to my bare skin and back down, almost planting his hand fully on my ass.  I stopped swaying and glared at him.

Gage smiled and laughed.  “I thought the point was to make him jealous?  Ruffle his feathers?”

I put my free hand on my head while Gage still held my other hand.

“Becca, you love him.  Why don’t you just go tell him?  I know he said some stupid shit to you, but he is a guy, that’s what we do,” Gage said easily.

“Oh, Gage… I’m going to die alone,” I said, fighting back a sob as I leaned my head on his shoulder.  He pulled me closer to him and gently swayed us both.

“Bs, you won’t die alone.  If you are single by the time I’m 35, I will knock down your door until you tell me you will marry me,” he said with a soft smile.

I gave him a puzzled look as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Becca, you are a fine catch.  I would love to be with you.  Honestly, I think I am in love with you, but I’m nowhere near ready to settle down and be married and have kids.”

I shook my head at him, extremely confused with his confession.  “I never thought… I thought we were just…”

He tilted his head as he rubbed my back, “We are, and we always will be.  But you have to know that I’ve loved you since we were 15.  I just have a messed up way of showing it.”

I shook my head at him.  What did he want me to say?  I didn’t love him like that.  He was a great guy, and we had chemistry, but I had way more with Tyler.  I loved Tyler, and Gage was right, I needed to tell him how I felt.

“Go find him,” Gage said softly, even though his grip on me was extra tight and his words had a trace of sadness in them.

I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, letting my lips linger, knowing they would never touch anyone else’s skin besides Tyler’s.  Gage tilted his head into my lips and stopped swaying, but kept his hands firmly wrapped around me.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He looked down at me and showed me his dimples with a warm smile.  Gage let me go, and I headed for the stairs, hoping Tyler was still pouting by himself on the second floor.  Before I hit the stairs Connor stopped me.

“Hey, I’m sorry about Ashlynn at dinner the other night, and I’m sorry about earlier.  She gets flustered when she is around you,” he said sincerely.

I looked past him up the stairs, trying to find Tyler.  “Don’t worry.  I’m used to her word vomit.”

Connor gripped my arm tighter trying to get my attention.  “Bec, I meant what I said earlier.  I’m sorry about Tyler.”

I wanted to make up with Tyler right now, and Connor was choosing this moment to try and smooth things over.  “Have you seen Tyler?”  I said, moving my gaze to Connor from the stairs.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Actually no, I was wondering where Ashlynn went to.”

My heart dropped.  I nudged past him and bolted up the stairs.  Connor followed behind me.  “Becca, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m just trying to find Tyler” I said, passing through the empty exhibits. 

“I can help you.  I’ve been trying to find Ashlynn.  Maybe she wandered up here?  She does love history.”

I rolled my eyes.  What a chump.  She better be looking at history by herself and nowhere near my Ty.

We moved past the ‘Coming to America’ exhibit and I turned into the Native American section.  Hearing voices, I slowed my pace, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.  Connor followed, still trying to make small talk.  Once I heard where the voices were coming from, I sped up my pace and entered a room that was circular and filled with mannequins dressed in Native American clothing.  I saw Tyler’s back scrunched in discomfort with hands wrapped around his head.  The second I entered he jerked backwards then I saw another pair of eyes with a familiar malicious grin followed by a fake look of horror. 

Was this really happening again? 

I officially snapped.

Chapter 25

The lump in my throat turned into flames and raged throughout my body as though my skin were on fire.  My shoulders and hands were twitching, and I swore my big, sexy brown curls were floating over my head like Medusa.  My eyes bore into my all-time puppet master, the one who repeatedly broke me and ruined my life just as I started to put it back together.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said so low I barely recognized my own voice.

Tyler whipped around, his face full of anger.  As soon as he saw me he looked terrified.

“Becca, she came at me.  I pushed her away!”  He started to walk towards me.  I held my hand up and gave him the most chilling glare I had inside of me, then slowly turned my head back towards Ashlynn.  She had a salacious frown on her face then her eyes widened as she looked past me.

“Ash?  What is going on?”  Connor cautiously asked, looking between her and Tyler.

“Becca, she told me she had a question about her prints and that they were back here.  Then she started to come on to me.  Baby, please believe me!”

“Stop talking,” I drug my words out while keeping my glare on Ashlynn.  Tyler clenched his jaw and took a deep breath in.

“Why?  Connor wasn’t enough?  You had to come after Tyler too?” I said almost demonic sounding.

“Ash, what is she talking about?”  Connor choked, his head still rapidly looking between the three of us.

“You and Tyler aren’t together anymore,” Ashlynn said while fidgeting, “Connor, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what happened.  He was looking at me like he wanted me to kiss him.”  Ashlynn said trying to sound innocent.

Tyler’s jaw dropped.  “That’s a load of shit!”  Tyler shouted.  “Becca I didn’t kiss-”

“I SAID… STOP TALKING.”  I raised my voice as I shot him a sideways glare, still holding my hand up towards him.  Tyler shuffled his feet and bit down on his tongue, clearly unhappy.

I closed my eyes for a long moment, clenching my teeth.  I
hated
this girl, and hatred was something I despised.  But all those years of putting up with her shit, feeling sorry for her, putting up with her demands, and the way she treated me like I was her property had to stop.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was done with her, and the fire burning in my chest was going to come up my throat and out of my lips onto her.

“Ashlynn, I’m so sick of you treating me like shit and walking all over me!  You have always taken everything of mine since we were little, from toys to family, to food, to friends…”  I threw my hands towards Connor, “to boyfriends!  I’m so done.  You can take your bitchy attitude and go prowl and take advantage of someone else, because I’m not going to be your puppet anymore!”  My voice was unrecognizable as Ashlynn’s eyes were wide and confused.

“Becca, I would never take anything from you deliberately.  I can’t help if I have feelings for someone.”

“You plotted to take Connor from me the second I showed interest in him.  Now you are trying to do the same with Tyler.  Don’t tell me it is all chemistry and fate; you can’t stand to see me happy!”

I glanced at Connor from the corner of my eye.  His face was blotchy while his eyes were wet.  I rolled my eyes and exasperated at his site.  “Oh COME ON… did you really think she would ever be faithful to you?  You cheated on me with
her
, wasn’t that enough to prove to you that she could never be committed?”

Connor’s face contorted as I turned to him.  “How the fuck could you do that to me, anyway?  Sleep with my supposed best friend?  Then fucking ask her to marry you?  Give her the same ring that I wanted?  Make the same house plans that we had made together?”  I seethed, blowing my fire towards Connor.  He bit his lip and scrunched his eyebrows closing his eyes.  I just shook my head at him.  “What did I do to deserve that?”  I looked at Connor then over to Ashlynn.  “What did I ever do to deserve to get my heart ripped out by my best friend and the man I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?  I know you never loved him Ashlynn.  Everything you ever told him was a lie--wanting a dog and kids.  You hate everything that he likes, yet you still told him otherwise to make him leave me.  Why?  WHAT DID I DO?”  I was practically shouting.  Then I saw Jamie and Nathan emerge from the other side of the exhibit.

When did they meet?

Nathan came up behind Tyler as Jamie looked around the room and quickly caught on by everyone’s demeanor.  She looked over to Ashlynn.  “What the fuck did you do,” Jamie growled.

Ashlynn whipped her head over to Jamie.  “Butt out of this Jamie.  Go have another glass of wine and screw some random guy!”

Jamie’s stance grew taller and her fists clenched.  “At least I wouldn’t be screwing one of Becca’s boyfriends!” Jamie spat at Ashlynn.  Before Ashlynn and Jamie could have it out, I let out a fictitious laugh, causing all eyes in the room to turn towards me.

“Yeah because fucking someone’s husband is just as noble,” I shot at Jamie, looking her square in the eye.  She recoiled and took a few steps back, her eyes filled with shock. 

“Becca…” I heard another voice join the party.  Gage was right behind me, entering from the same side as Connor and me.

I spun around to look at him.  “Bs, let’s go…”  Gage said, holding his hand out to me.  He had clearly caught onto what was happening just as fast as Jamie had.  Tyler started to move, but Nathan caught his arm before he could approach me, which was a good thing because I was flying off the handle.

“Why would I go anywhere with you, Mr. Mixed Signals?  Are you going to tell me how much you love me but that you still want to fuck around with a bunch of women and expect me to just wait around for you to be done blowing your load into them?”

“You told her you loved her?”  Ashlynn and Jamie said at the same time looking toward Gage.  Gage’s face turned beet red as he sucked in a breath of air.

“Yeah, since we were 15.  But you would never know, since he was too busy putting his dick in everyone else,” I sneered facing Gage.  His nostrils flared as he looked towards the ground clenching his teeth.  I must have hit a nerve,
good.

“Is that why you never went for me?”  Ashlynn said in awe to Gage. 

Wow, the world really did revolve around her.

“No, I always thought you were a selfish bitch,” Gage grunted.

“Glad I’m not the only one who thinks that,” Jamie commented under her breath.

“I am not selfish!”  Ashlynn said in mock horror.

“Yeah, whatever.  You probably planned for me to come up here while you made your moves on Tyler just like you planned for me to see you and Connor sleeping together,” I scoffed, holding my ground and staying strong.

“You made a move on Tyler?”  Jamie exclaimed, shooting a glare at Ashlynn then towards Tyler.

Tyler threw his hands in the air, “I didn’t fucking kiss her!”

Ashlynn looked around the room, her mouth in a grim line, avoiding my eyes.  I crossed my arms ignoring Jamie and Tyler’s stare down.  “I’m not stupid.  I told you I didn’t have class that day, and you knew I would walk in on you.”

Connor furrowed his brows, “You knew she was going to come home?”

Ashlynn let out an exasperated breath of air.  “You wouldn’t break up with her, and she needed to know.”

“Is that why you were in Becca’s bed, too?”  Jamie said crossing her arms coming over to stand by me.  I took a step away from her.  I didn’t want to be near anyone.

“I never wanted Becca to find out that way.  Why would you set her up like that?”  Connor said in confusion while taking a step towards Ashlynn, filling the gap between the two of us.

“Oh, please!  Fucking her in MY bed was setting me up,” I said throwing my hands in the air.

“Hey, why didn’t everyone tell me the party moved up here?”  Sean said, emerging into the room.  He was holding a drink in his hand and clearly looked tipsy.  I rush of rage came across me, and I needed to get the hell out of that room.

“Why don’t YOU go home to your wife and kid?”  I yelled at Sean.  He blinked at me.  I had never said more than two words to him.

“YOU are an idiot if you stay with her,” I said turning to Connor.

“If YOU have a wedding because he is an idiot, I’m not going to be your fucking maid of honor, and I never want to see you or talk to you again,” I fumed at Ashlynn.

I didn’t stop at them, I kept moving down the line of the people who supposedly loved and cared for me.  I was done pretending and holding back everything they had ever done to make my life so miserable.

“I would rather die alone then wait to catch an STD from you,” I said turning to Gage.

Then I turned to Jamie, “And you never really got it did you?  You never really cared about my feelings when I was so broken.  You just wanted someone to tag along with you.  Otherwise you would never be screwing a married man because you would know how messed up it is from watching me go through all the bullshit with these two!”

I made my final turn and saw Tyler.  My shoulders slumped and tears threatened as I looked at his beautiful face that was filled with mixed emotion.  “And you,” I whispered, “I thought you would be different.”

He put his head down as Nathan took a step behind him, clearly afraid I might take a turn at him.  I took one quick glance around the room to find everyone staring at the ground looking uncomfortable and pale. 

Cowards.

“There’s too much infidelity in this room for me to handle,” I murmured.

I stormed off out of the exhibit, desperately trying to get out of this cluster fucked situation.  As I exited the stairs I saw RJ hanging out by the railing with a drink in hand looking down at the party goers.  Not wanting to deal with him, I turned the opposite way.  There were other stairs by the carousel.